the little white bird-第40节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



lower　road；　and　contented　yourself　with　obtaining　the　Bird。　　May

I　point　out；　by　presenting　you　with　this　dedication；　that　in　the

meantime　I　am　become　the　parent　of　the　Book？　　To　you　the　shadow；

to　me　the　substance。　　Trusting　that　you　will　accept　my　little

offering　in　a　Christian　spirit；　I　am；　dear　madam；〃　etc。



It　was　heady　work；　for　the　saucy　words　showed　their　design

plainly　through　the　varnish；　and　I　was　re…reading　in　an　ecstasy；

when；　without　warning；　the　door　burst　open　and　a　little　boy

entered；　dragging　in　a　faltering　lady。



〃Father；〃　said　David；　〃this　is　mother。〃



Having　thus　briefly　introduced　us；　he　turned　his　attention　to　the

electric　light；　and　switched　it　on　and　off　so　rapidly　that；　as

was　very　fitting；　Mary　and　I　may　be　said　to　have　met　for　the

first　time　to　the　accompaniment　of　flashes　of　lightning。　　I　think

she　was　arrayed　in　little　blue　feathers；　but　if　such　a　costume　is

not　seemly；　I　swear　there　were；　at　least；　little　blue　feathers　in

her　too　coquettish　cap；　and　that　she　was　carrying　a　muff　to

match。　　No　part　of　a　woman　is　more　dangerous　than　her　muff；　and

as　muffs　are　not　worn　in　early　autumn；　even　by　invalids；　I　saw　in

a　twink；　that　she　had　put　on　all　her　pretty　things　to　wheedle　me。

　I　am　also　of　opinion　that　she　remembered　she　had　worn　blue　in

the　days　when　I　watched　her　from　the　club…window。　　Undoubtedly

Mary　is　an　engaging　little　creature；　though　not　my　style。　　She

was　paler　than　is　her　wont；　and　had　the　touching　look　of　one　whom

it　would　be　easy　to　break。　　I　daresay　this　was　a　trick。　　Her

skirts　made　music　in　my　room；　but　perhaps　this　was　only　because

no　lady　had　ever　rustled　in　it　before。　　It　was　disquieting　to　me

to　reflect　that　despite　her　obvious　uneasiness；　she　was　a　very

artful　woman。



With　the　quickness　of　David　at　the　switch；　I　slipped　a　blotting…

pad　over　the　dedication；　and　then；　〃Pray　be　seated；〃　I　said

coldly；　but　she　remained　standing；　all　in　a　twitter　and　very　much

afraid　of　me；　and　I　know　that　her　hands　were　pressed　together

within　the　muff。　　Had　there　been　any　dignified　means　of　escape；　I

think　we　would　both　have　taken　it。



〃I　should　not　have　come；〃　she　said　nervously；　and　then　seemed　to

wait　for　some　response；　so　I　bowed。



〃I　was　terrified　to　come；　indeed　I　was；〃　she　assured　me　with

obvious　sincerity。



〃But　I　have　come；〃　she　finished　rather　baldly。



〃It　is　an　epitome；　ma'am；〃　said　I；　seeing　my　chance；　〃of　your

whole　life；〃　and　with　that　I　put　her　into　my　elbow…chair。



She　began　to　talk　of　my　adventures　with　David　in　the　Gardens；　and

of　some　little　things　I　have　not　mentioned　here；　that　I　may　have

done　for　her　when　I　was　in　a　wayward　mood；　and　her　voice　was　as

soft　as　her　muff。　　She　had　also　an　affecting　way　of　pronouncing

all　her　r's　as　w's；　just　as　the　fairies　do。　　〃And　so；〃　she　said；

〃as　you　would　not　come　to　me　to　be　thanked；　I　have　come　to　you　to

thank　you。〃　　Whereupon　she　thanked　me　most　abominably。　　She　also

slid　one　of　her　hands　out　of　the　muff；　and　though　she　was　smiling

her　eyes　were　wet。



〃Pooh；　ma'am；〃　said　I　in　desperation；　but　I　did　not　take　her

hand。



〃I　am　not　very　strong　yet；〃　she　said　with　low　cunning。　　She　said

this　to　make　me　take　her　hand；　so　I　took　it；　and　perhaps　I　patted

it　a　little。　　Then　I　walked　brusquely　to　the　window。　　The　truth

is；　I　begun　to　think　uncomfortably　of　the　dedication。



I　went　to　the　window　because；　undoubtedly；　it　would　be　easier　to

address　her　severely　from　behind；　and　I　wanted　to　say　something

that　would　sting　her。



〃When　you　have　quite　done；　ma'am；〃　I　said；　after　a　long　pause；

〃perhaps　you　will　allow　me　to　say　a　word。〃



I　could　see　the　back　of　her　head　only；　but　I　knew；　from　David's

face；　that　she　had　given　him　a　quick　look　which　did　not　imply

that　she　was　stung。　　Indeed　I　felt　now；　as　I　had　felt　before；

that　though　she　was　agitated　and　in　some　fear　of　me；　she　was　also

enjoying　herself　considerably。



In　such　circumstances　I　might　as　well　have　tried　to　sting　a　sand…

bank；　so　I　said；　rather　off　my　watch；　〃If　I　have　done　all　this

for　you；　why　did　I　do　it？〃



She　made　no　answer　in　words；　but　seemed　to　grow　taller　in　the

chair；　so　that　I　could　see　her　shoulders；　and　I　knew　from　this

that　she　was　now　holding　herself　conceitedly　and　trying　to　look

modest。　　〃Not　a　bit　of　it；　ma'am；〃　said　I　sharply；　〃that　was　not

the　reason　at　all。〃



I　was　pleased　to　see　her　whisk　round；　rather　indignant　at　last。



〃I　never　said　it　was；〃　she　retorted　with　spirit；　〃I　never　thought

for　a　moment　that　it　was。〃　　She　added；　a　trifle　too　late　in　the

story；　〃Besides；　I　don't　know　what　you　are　talking　of。〃



I　think　I　must　have　smiled　here；　for　she　turned　from　me　quickly；

and　became　quite　little　in　the　chair　again。



〃David；〃　said　I　mercilessly；　〃did　you　ever　see　your　mother

blush？〃



〃What　is　blush？〃



〃She　goes　a　beautiful　pink　colour。〃



David；　who　had　by　this　time　broken　my　connection　with　the　head

office；　crossed　to　his　mother　expectantly。



〃I　don't；　David；〃　she　cried。



〃I　think；〃　said　I；　〃she　will　do　it　now；〃　and　with　the　instinct　of

a　gentleman　I　looked　away。　　Thus　I　cannot　tell　what　happened；　but

presently　David　exclaimed　admiringly；　〃Oh；　mother；　do　it　again！〃



As　she　would　not；　he　stood　on　the　fender　to　see　in　the　mantel…

glass　whether　he　could　do　it　himself；　and　then　Mary　turned　a　most

candid　face　on　me；　in　which　was　maternity　rather　than　reproach。

Perhaps　no　look　given　by　woman　to　man　affects　him　quite　so　much。

〃You　see；〃　she　said　radiantly　and　with　a　gesture　that　disclosed

herself　to　me；　〃I　can　forgive　even　that。　　You　long　ago　earned　the

right　to　hurt　me　if　you　want　to。〃



It　weaned　me　of　all　further　desire　to　rail　at　Mary；　and　I　felt　an

uncommon　drawing　to　her。



〃And　if　I　did　think　that　for　a　little　while；〃　she　went　on；　with

an　unsteady　smile。



〃Think　what？〃　I　asked；　but　without　the　necessary　snap。



〃What　we　were　talking　of；〃　she　replied　wincing；　but　forgiving　me

again。　　〃If　I　once　thought　that；　it　was　pretty　to　me　while　it

lasted　and　it　lasted　but　a　little　time。　　I　have　long　been　sure

that　your　kindness　to　me　was　due　to　some　other　reason。〃



〃Ma'am；〃　said　I　very　honestly；　〃I　know　not　what　was　the　reason。

My　concern　for　you　was　in　the　beginning　a　very　fragile　and　even　a

selfish　thing；　yet　not　altogether　selfish；　for　I　think　that　what

first　stirred　it　was　the　joyous　sway　of　the　little　nursery

governess　as　she　walked　down　Pall　Mall　to　meet　her　lover。　　It

seemed　such　a　mighty　fine　thing　to　you　to　be　loved　that　I　thought

you　had　better　continue　to　be　loved　for　a　little　longer。　　And

perhaps　having　helped　you　once　by　dropping　a　letter　I　was　charmed

by　the　ease　with　which　you　could　be　helped；　for　you　must　know

that　I　am　one　who　has　chosen　the　easy　way　for　more　than　twenty

years。〃



She　shook　her　head　and　smiled。　　〃On　my　soul；〃　I　assured　her；　〃I

can　think　of　no　other　reason。〃



〃A　kind　heart；〃　said　she。



〃More　likely　a　whim；〃　said　I。



〃Or　another　woman；〃　said　she。



I　was　very　much　taken　aback。



〃More　than　twenty　years　ago；〃　she　said　with　a　soft　huskiness　in

her　voice；　and　a　tremor　and　a　sweetness；　as　if　she　did　not　know

that　in　twenty　years　all　love　stories　are　grown　mouldy。



On　my　honour　as　a　soldier　this　explanation　of　my　early　solicitude

for　Mary　was　one　that　had　never　struck　me；　but　the　more　I

pondered　it　now。　　I　raised　her　hand　and　touched　it　with　my　lips；

as　we　whimsical　old　fellows　do　when　some　gracious　girl　makes　us

to　hear　the　key　in　the　lock　of　long　ago。　　〃Why；　ma'am；〃　I　said；

〃it　is　a　pretty　notion；　and　there　may　be　something　in　it。　　Let　us

leave　it　at　that。〃



But　there　was　still　that　accursed　dedication；　lying；　you

remember；　beneath　the　blotting…pad。　　I　had　no　longer　any　desire

to　crush　her　with　it。　　I　wished　that　she　had　succeeded　in　writing

the　book　on　which　her　longings　had　been　so　set。



〃If　only　you　had　been　less　ambitious；〃　I　said；　much　troubled　that

she　should　be　disappointed　in　her　heart's　desire。



〃I　wanted　all　the　dear　delicious　things；〃　she　admitted

contritely。



〃It　was　unreasonable；〃　I　said　eagerly；　appealing　to　her

intellect。　　〃Especially　this　last　thing。〃



〃Yes；〃　she　agreed　frankly；　〃I　know。〃　　And　then　to　my　amazement

she　added　triumphantly；　〃But　I　got　it。〃



I　suppose　my　look　admonished　her；　for　she　continued

apologetically　but　still　as　if　she　really　thought　hers　had　been　a

romantic　career；　〃I　know　I　have　not　deserved　it；　but　I　got　it。〃



〃Oh；　ma'am；〃　I　cried　reproachfully；　〃reflect。　　You　have　not　got

the　great　thing。〃　　I　saw　her　counting　the　great　things　in　her

mind；　her　wondrous　husband　and　his　obscure　success；　David；

Barbara；　and　the　other　trifling　contents　of　her　jewel…box。



〃I　think　I　have；〃　said　she。



〃Come；　madam；〃　I　cried　a　little　nettled；　〃you　know　that　there　is

lacking　the　one　thing　you　craved　for　most　of　all。〃



Will　you　believe　me　that　I　had　to　tell　her　wha