the little white bird-第34节

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ceased　to　be　a　vain　man。　　He　still　met　us　in　the　Gardens；　but　for

hours　he　and　I　would　be　together　without　speaking。　　It　was　so

upon　the　last　day；　one　of　those　innumerable　dreary　days　when

David；　having　sneezed　the　night　before；　was　kept　at　home　in

flannel；　and　I　sat　alone　with　Paterson　on　the　Story…seat。　　At

last　I　turned　to　address　him。　　Never　had　we　spoken　of　what

chained　our　tongues；　and　I　meant　only　to　say　now　that　we　must　go；

for　soon　the　gates　would　close；　but　when　I　looked　at　him　I　saw

that　he　was　more　mournful　than　ever　before；　he　shut　his　eyes　so

tightly　that　a　drop　of　blood　fell　from　them。



〃It　was　all　over；　Paterson；　long　ago；〃　I　broke　out　harshly；　〃why

do　we　linger？〃



He　beat　his　hands　together　miserably；　and　yet　cast　me　appealing

looks　that　had　much　affection　in　them。



〃You　expected　too　much　of　me；〃　I　told　him；　and　he　bowed　his　head。

〃I　don't　know　where　you　brought　your　grand　ideas　of　men　and　women

from。　　I　don't　want　to　know；〃　I　added　hastily。



〃But　it　must　have　been　from　a　prettier　world　than　this；〃　I　said：

〃are　you　quite　sure　that　you　were　wise　in　leaving　it？〃



He　rose　and　sat　down　again。　　〃I　wanted　to　know　you；〃　he　replied

slowly；　〃I　wanted　to　be　like　you。〃



〃And　now　you　know　me；〃　I　said；　〃do　you　want　to　be　like　me　still？

I　am　a　curious　person　to　attach　oneself　to；　Paterson；　don't　you

see　that　even　David　often　smiles　at　me　when　he　thinks　he　is

unobserved。　　I　work　very　hard　to　retain　that　little　boy's　love；

but　I　shall　lose　him　soon；　even　now　I　am　not　what　I　was　to　him；

in　a　year　or　two　at　longest；　Paterson；　David　will　grow　out　of

me。〃



The　poor　fellow　shot　out　his　hand　to　me；　but　〃No；〃　said　I；　〃you

have　found　me　out。　　Everybody　finds　me　out　except　my　dog；　and

that　is　why　the　loss　of　him　makes　such　a　difference　to　me。　　Shall

we　go；　Paterson？〃



He　would　not　come　with　me；　and　I　left　him　on　the　seat；　when　I　was

far　away　I　looked　back；　and　he　was　still　sitting　there　forlornly。



For　long　I　could　not　close　my　ears　that　night：　I　lay　listening；　I

knew　not　what　for。　　A　scare　was　on　me　that　made　me　dislike　the

dark；　and　I　switched　on　the　light　and　slept　at　last。　　I　was

roused　by　a　great　to…do　in　the　early　morning；　servants　knocking

excitedly；　and　my　door　opened；　and　the　dear　Porthos　I　had　mourned

so　long　tore　in。　　They　had　heard　his　bark；　but　whence　he　came　no

one　knew。



He　was　in　excellent　condition；　and　after　he　had　leaped　upon　me

from　all　points　I　flung　him　on　the　floor　by　a　trick　I　know；　and

lay　down　beside　him；　while　he　put　his　protecting　arm　round　me　and

looked　at　me　with　the　old　adoring　eyes。



But　we　never　saw　Paterson　again。　　You　may　think　as　you　choose。





XXII



Joey



Wise　children　always　choose　a　mother　who　was　a　shocking　flirt　in

her　maiden　days；　and　so　had　several　offers　before　she　accepted

their　fortunate　papa。　　The　reason　they　do　this　is　because　every

offer　refused　by　their　mother　means　another　pantomime　to　them。

You　see　you　can't　trust　to　your　father's　taking　you　to　the

pantomime；　but　you　can　trust　to　every　one　of　the　poor　frenzied

gentlemen　for　whom　that　lady　has　wept　a　delicious　little　tear　on

her　lovely　little　cambric　handkerchief。　　It　is　pretty　（but

dreadfully　affecting）　to　see　them　on　Boxing　Night　gathering

together　the　babies　of　their　old　loves。　　Some　knock　at　but　one

door　and　bring　a　hansom；　but　others　go　from　street　to　street　in

private　'buses；　and　even　wear　false　noses　to　conceal　the

sufferings　you　inflict　upon　them　as　you　grew　more　and　more　like

your　sweet　cruel　mamma。



So　I　took　David　to　the　pantomime；　and　I　hope　you　follow　my

reasoning；　for　I　don't。　　He　went　with　the　fairest　anticipations；

pausing　on　the　threshold　to　peer　through　the　hole　in　the　little

house　called　〃Pay　Here；〃　which　he　thought　was　Red　Riding　Hood's

residence；　and　asked　politely　whether　he　might　see　her；　but　they

said　she　had　gone　to　the　wood；　and　it　was　quite　true；　for　there

she　was　in　the　wood　gathering　a　stick　for　her　grandmother's　fire。

She　sang　a　beautiful　song　about　the　Boys　and　their　dashing　ways；

which　flattered　David　considerably；　but　she　forgot　to　take　away

the　stick　after　all。　　Other　parts　of　the　play　were　not　so　nice；

but　David　thought　it　all　lovely；　he　really　did。



Yet　he　left　the　place　in　tears。　　All　the　way　home　he　sobbed　in

the　darkest　corner　of　the　growler；　and　if　I　tried　to　comfort　him

he　struck　me。



The　clown　had　done　it；　that　man　of　whom　he　expected　things　so

fair。　　He　had　asked　in　a　loud　voice　of　the　middling　funny

gentleman　（then　in　the　middle　of　a　song）　whether　he　thought　Joey

would　be　long　in　coming；　and　when　at　last　Joey　did　come　he

screamed　out；　〃How　do　you　do；　Joey！〃　and　went　into　convulsions　of

mirth。



Joey　and　his　father　were　shadowing　a　pork…butcher's　shop；

pocketing　the　sausages　for　which　their　family　has　such　a　fatal

weakness；　and　so　when　the　butcher　engaged　Joey　as　his　assistant

there　was　soon　not　a　sausage　left。　　However；　this　did　not　matter；

for　there　was　a　box　rather　like　an　ice…cream　machine；　and　you　put

chunks　of　pork　in　at　one　end　and　turned　a　handle　and　they　came

out　as　sausages　at　the　other　end。　　Joey　quite　enjoyed　doing　this；

and　you　could　see　that　the　sausages　were　excellent　by　the　way　he

licked　his　fingers　after　touching　them；　but　soon　there　were　no

more　pieces　of　pork；　and　just　then　a　dear　little　Irish

terrier…dog　came　trotting　down　the　street；　so　what　did　Joey　do

but　pop　it　into　the　machine　and　it　came　out　at　the　other　end　as

sausages。



It　was　this　callous　act　that　turned　all　David's　mirth　to　woe；　and

drove　us　weeping　to　our　growler。



Heaven　knows　I　have　no　wish　to　defend　this　cruel　deed；　but　as

Joey　told　me　afterward；　it　is　very　difficult　to　say　what　they

will　think　funny　and　what　barbarous。　　I　was　forced　to　admit　to

him　that　David　had　perceived　only　the　joyous　in　the　pokering　of

the　policeman's　legs；　and　had　called　out　heartily　〃Do　it　again！〃

every　time　Joey　knocked　the　pantaloon　down　with　one　kick　and

helped　him　up　with　another。



〃It　hurts　the　poor　chap；〃　I　was　told　by　Joey；　whom　I　was

agreeably　surprised　to　find　by　no　means　wanting　in　the　more

humane　feelings；　〃and　he　wouldn't　stand　it　if　there　wasn't　the

laugh　to　encourage　him。〃



He　maintained　that　the　dog　got　that　laugh　to　encourage　him　also。



However；　he　had　not　got　it　from　David；　whose　mother　and　father

and　nurse　combined　could　not　comfort　him；　though　they　swore　that

the　dog　was　still　alive　and　kicking；　which　might　all　have　been

very　well　had　not　David　seen　the　sausages。　　It　was　to　inquire

whether　anything　could　be　done　to　atone　that　in　considerable

trepidation　I　sent　in　my　card　to　the　clown；　and　the　result　of　our

talk　was　that　he　invited　me　and　David　to　have　tea　with　him　on

Thursday　next　at　his　lodgings。



〃I　sha'n't　laugh；〃　David　said；　nobly　true　to　the　memory　of　the

little　dog；　〃I　sha'n't　laugh　once；〃　and　he　closed　his　jaws　very

tightly　as　we　drew　near　the　house　in　Soho　where　Joey　lodged。　　But

he　also　gripped　my　hand；　like　one　who　knew　that　it　would　be　an

ordeal　not　to　laugh。



The　house　was　rather　like　the　ordinary　kind；　but　there　was　a

convenient　sausage…shop　exactly　opposite　（trust　Joey　for　that）

and　we　saw　a　policeman　in　the　street　looking　the　other　way；　as

they　always　do　look　just　before　you　rub　them。　　A　woman　wearing

the　same　kind　of　clothes　as　people　in　other　houses　wear；　told　us

to　go　up　to　the　second　floor；　and　she　grinned　at　David；　as　if　she

had　heard　about　him；　so　up　we　went；　David　muttering　through　his

clenched　teeth；　〃I　sha'n't　laugh；〃　and　as　soon　as　we　knocked　a

voice　called　out；　〃Here　we　are　again！〃　at　which　a　shudder　passed

through　David　as　if　he　feared　that　he　had　set　himself　an

impossible　task。　　In　we　went；　however；　and　though　the　voice　had

certainly　come　from　this　room　we　found　nobody　there。　　I　looked　in

bewilderment　at　David；　and　he　quickly　put　his　hand　over　his

mouth。



It　was　a　funny　room；　of　course；　but　not　so　funny　as　you　might

expect；　there　were　droll　things　in　it；　but　they　did　nothing

funny；　you　could　see　that　they　were　just　waiting　for　Joey。　　There

were　padded　chairs　with　friendly　looking　rents　down　the　middle　of

them；　and　a　table　and　a　horse…hair　sofa；　and　we　sat　down　very

cautiously　on　the　sofa　but　nothing　happened　to　us。



The　biggest　piece　of　furniture　was　an　enormous　wicker　trunk；　with

a　very　lively　coloured　stocking　dangling　out　at　a　hole　in　it；　and

a　notice　on　the　top　that　Joey　was　the　funniest　man　on　earth。

David　tried　to　pull　the　stocking　out　of　the　hole；　but　it　was　so

long　that　it　never　came　to　an　end；　and　when　it　measured　six　times

the　length　of　the　room　he　had　to　cover　his　mouth　again。



〃I'm　not　laughing；〃　he　said　to　me；　quite　fiercely。　　He　even

managed　not　to　laugh　（though　he　did　gulp）　when　we　discovered　on

the　mantelpiece　a　photograph　of　Joey　in　ordinary　clothes；　the

garments　he　wore　before　he　became　a　clown。　　You　can't　think　how

absurd　he　looked　in　them。　　But　Dav