the little white bird-第2节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



the　blame：　all　the　meannesses　your　youth　concealed　have　been

gathering　in　your　face。　　But　the　pretty　thoughts　and　sweet　ways

and　dear；　forgotten　kindnesses　linger　there　also；　to　bloom　in

your　twilight　like　evening　primroses。



Is　it　not　strange　that；　though　I　talk　thus　plainly　to　David　about

his　mother；　he　still　seems　to　think　me　fond　of　her？　　How　now；　I

reflect；　what　sort　of　bumpkin　is　this；　and　perhaps　I　say　to　him

cruelly：　〃Boy；　you　are　uncommonly　like　your　mother。〃



To　which　David：　〃Is　that　why　you　are　so　kind　to　me？〃



I　suppose　I　am　kind　to　him；　but　if　so　it　is　not　for　love　of　his

mother；　but　because　he　sometimes　calls　me　father。　　On　my　honour

as　a　soldier；　there　is　nothing　more　in　it　than　that。　　I　must　not

let　him　know　this；　for　it　would　make　him　conscious；　and　so　break

the　spell　that　binds　him　and　me　together。　　Oftenest　I　am　but

Captain　W　to　him；　and　for　the　best　of　reasons。　　He　addresses　me

as　father　when　he　is　in　a　hurry　only；　and　never　have　I　dared　ask

him　to　use　the　name。　　He　says；　〃Come；　father；〃　with　an　accursed

beautiful　carelessness。　　So　let　it　be；　David；　for　a　little　while

longer。



I　like　to　hear　him　say　it　before　others；　as　in　shops。　　When　in

shops　he　asks　the　salesman　how　much　money　he　makes　in　a　day；　and

which　drawer　he　keeps　it　in；　and　why　his　hair　is　red；　and　does　he

like　Achilles；　of　whom　David　has　lately　heard；　and　is　so

enamoured　that　he　wants　to　die　to　meet　him。　　At　such　times　the

shopkeepers　accept　me　as　his　father；　and　I　cannot　explain　the

peculiar　pleasure　this　gives　me。　　I　am　always　in　two　minds　then；

to　linger　that　we　may　have　more　of　it；　and　to　snatch　him　away

before　he　volunteers　the　information；　〃He　is　not　really　my

father。〃



When　David　meets　Achilles　I　know　what　will　happen。　　The　little

boy　will　take　the　hero　by　the　hand；　call　him　father；　and　drag　him

away　to　some　Round　Pond。



One　day；　when　David　was　about　five；　I　sent　him　the　following

letter：　〃Dear　David：　If　you　really　want　to　know　how　it　began；

will　you　come　and　have　a　chop　with　me　to…day　at　the　club？〃



Mary；　who；　I　have　found　out；　opens　all　his　letters；　gave　her

consent；　and；　I　doubt　not；　instructed　him　to　pay　heed　to　what

happened　so　that　he　might　repeat　it　to　her；　for　despite　her

curiosity　she　knows　not　how　it　began　herself。　　I　chuckled；

guessing　that　she　expected　something　romantic。



He　came　to　me　arrayed　as　for　a　mighty　journey；　and　looking

unusually　solemn；　as　little　boys　always　do　look　when　they　are

wearing　a　great　coat。　　There　was　a　shawl　round　his　neck。　　〃You

can　take　some　of　them　off；〃　I　said；　〃when　we　come　to　summer。〃



〃Shall　we　come　to　summer？〃　he　asked；　properly　awed。



〃To　many　summers；〃　I　replied；　〃for　we　are　going　away　back；　David；

to　see　your　mother　as　she　was　in　the　days　before　there　was　you。〃



We　hailed　a　hansom。　　〃Drive　back　six　years；〃　I　said　to　the　cabby；

〃and　stop　at　the　Junior　Old　Fogies'　Club。〃



He　was　a　stupid　fellow；　and　I　had　to　guide　him　with　my　umbrella。



The　streets　were　not　quite　as　they　had　been　in　the　morning。　　For

instance；　the　bookshop　at　the　corner　was　now　selling　fish。　　I

dropped　David　a　hint　of　what　was　going　on。



〃It　doesn't　make　me　littler；　does　it？〃　he　asked　anxiously；　and

then；　with　a　terrible　misgiving：　〃It　won't　make　me　too　little；

will　it；　father？〃　by　which　he　meant　that　he　hoped　it　would　not　do

for　him　altogether。　　He　slipped　his　hand　nervously　into　mine；　and

I　put　it　in　my　pocket。



You　can't　think　how　little　David　looked　as　we　entered　the　portals

of　the　club。





II



The　Little　Nursery　Governess



As　I　enter　the　club　smoking…room　you　are　to　conceive　David

vanishing　into　nothingness；　and　that　it　is　any　day　six　years　ago

at　two　in　the　afternoon。　　I　ring　for　coffee；　cigarette；　and

cherry　brandy；　and　take　my　chair　by　the　window；　just　as　the

absurd　little　nursery　governess　comes　tripping　into　the　street。　

I　always　feel　that　I　have　rung　for　her。



While　I　am　lifting　the　coffee…pot　cautiously　lest　the　lid　fall

into　the　cup；　she　is　crossing　to　the　post…office；　as　I　select　the

one　suitable　lump　of　sugar　she　is　taking　six　last　looks　at　the

letter；　with　the　aid　of　William　I　light　my　cigarette；　and　now　she

is　re…reading　the　delicious　address。　　I　lie　back　in　my　chair；　and

by　this　time　she　has　dropped　the　letter　down　the　slit。　　I　toy

with　my　liqueur；　and　she　is　listening　to　hear　whether　the　postal

authorities　have　come　for　her　letter。　　I　scowl　at　a　fellow…member

who　has　had　the　impudence　to　enter　the　smoking…room；　and　her　two

little　charges　are　pulling　her　away　from　the　post…office。　　When　I

look　out　at　the　window　again　she　is　gone；　but　I　shall　ring　for

her　to…morrow　at　two　sharp。



She　must　have　passed　the　window　many　times　before　I　noticed　her。

I　know　not　where　she　lives；　though　I　suppose　it　to　be　hard　by。

She　is　taking　the　little　boy　and　girl；　who　bully　her；　to　the　St。

James's　Park；　as　their　hoops　tell　me；　and　she　ought　to　look

crushed　and　faded。　　No　doubt　her　mistress　overworks　her。　　It　must

enrage　the　other　servants　to　see　her　deporting　herself　as　if　she

were　quite　the　lady。



I　noticed　that　she　had　sometimes　other　letters　to　post；　but　that

the　posting　of　the　one　only　was　a　process。　　They　shot　down　the

slit；　plebeians　all；　but　it　followed　pompously　like　royalty。　　I

have　even　seen　her　blow　a　kiss　after　it。



Then　there　was　her　ring；　of　which　she　was　as　conscious　as　if　it

rather　than　she　was　what　came　gaily　down　the　street。　　She　felt　it

through　her　glove　to　make　sure　that　it　was　still　there。　　She　took

off　the　glove　and　raised　the　ring　to　her　lips；　though　I　doubt　not

it　was　the　cheapest　trinket。　　She　viewed　it　from　afar　by

stretching　out　her　hand；　she　stooped　to　see　how　it　looked　near

the　ground；　she　considered　its　effect　on　the　right　of　her　and　on

the　left　of　her　and　through　one　eye　at　a　time。　　Even　when　you　saw

that　she　had　made　up　her　mind　to　think　hard　of　something　else；

the　little　silly　would　take　another　look。



I　give　anyone　three　chances　to　guess　why　Mary　was　so　happy。



No　and　no　and　no。　　The　reason　was　simply　this；　that　a　lout　of　a

young　man　loved　her。　　And　so；　instead　of　crying　because　she　was

the　merest　nobody；　she　must；　forsooth；　sail　jauntily　down　Pall

Mall；　very　trim　as　to　her　tackle　and　ticketed　with　the

insufferable　air　of　an　engaged　woman。　　At　first　her　complacency

disturbed　me；　but　gradually　it　became　part　of　my　life　at　two

o'clock　with　the　coffee；　the　cigarette；　and　the　liqueur。　　Now

comes　the　tragedy。



Thursday　is　her　great　day。　　She　has　from　two　to　three　every

Thursday　for　her　very　own；　just　think　of　it：　this　girl；　who　is

probably　paid　several　pounds　a　year；　gets　a　whole　hour　to　herself

once　a　week。　　And　what　does　she　with　it？　　Attend　classes　for

making　her　a　more　accomplished　person？　　Not　she。　　This　is　what

she　does：　sets　sail　for　Pall　Mall；　wearing　all　her　pretty　things；

including　the　blue　feathers；　and　with　such　a　sparkle　of

expectation　on　her　face　that　I　stir　my　coffee　quite　fiercely。　　On

ordinary　days　she　at　least　tries　to　look　demure；　but　on　a

Thursday　she　has　had　the　assurance　to　use　the　glass　door　of　the

club　as　a　mirror　in　which　to　see　how　she　likes　her　engaging

trifle　of　a　figure　to…day。



In　the　meantime　a　long…legged　oaf　is　waiting　for　her　outside　the

post…office；　where　they　meet　every　Thursday；　a　fellow　who　always

wears　the　same　suit　of　clothes；　but　has　a　face　that　must　ever

make　him　free　of　the　company　of　gentlemen。　　He　is　one　of　your

lean；　clean　Englishmen；　who　strip　so　well；　and　I　fear　me　he　is

handsome；　I　say　fear；　for　your　handsome　men　have　always　annoyed

me；　and　had　I　lived　in　the　duelling　days　I　swear　I　would　have

called　every　one　of　them　out。　　He　seems　to　be　quite　unaware　that

he　is　a　pretty　fellow；　but　Lord；　how　obviously　Mary　knows　it。　　I

conclude　that　he　belongs　to　the　artistic　classes；　he　is　so　easily

elated　and　depressed；　and　because　he　carries　his　left　thumb

curiously；　as　if　it　were　feeling　for　the　hole　of　a　palette；　I

have　entered　his　name　among　the　painters。　　I　find　pleasure　in

deciding　that　they　are　shocking　bad　pictures；　for　obviously　no

one　buys　them。　　I　feel　sure　Mary　says　they　are　splendid；　she　is

that　sort　of　woman。　Hence　the　rapture　with　which　he　greets　her。　

Her　first　effect　upon　him　is　to　make　him　shout　with　laughter。　　He

laughs　suddenly　haw　from　an　eager　exulting　face；　then　haw　again；

and　then；　when　you　are　thanking　heaven　that　it　is　at　last　over；

comes　a　final　haw；　louder　than　the　others。　　I　take　them　to　be

roars　of　joy　because　Mary　is　his；　and　they　have　a　ring　of　youth

about　them　that　is　hard　to　bear。　　I　could　forgive　him　everything

save　his　youth；　but　it　is　so　aggressive　that　I　have　sometimes　to

order　William　testily　to　close　the　window。



How　much　more　deceitful　than　her　lover　is　the　little　nursery

governess。　　The　moment　she　comes　into　sight　she　looks　at　the

post…　office　and　sees　him。　　Then　she　looks　straight　before　her；

and　now　she　is　observed