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Literarius；　Philosophicus　et　Poeticus。　　Lubecae　MDCCXXXIII。　　Perhaps

I　should　not　have　ventured　to　ask　you　to　look　at　this　old　volume；　if

it　had　not　been　for　the　fact　that　Dr。　Johnson　mentions　Morohof　as　the

author　to　whom　he　was　specially　indebted。　more；　I　think；　than　to

any　other。　　It　is　a　grand　old　encyclopaedic　summary　of　all　the　author

knew　about　pretty　nearly　everything；　full　of　curious　interest；　but　so

strangely　mediaeval；　so　utterly　antiquated　in　most　departments　of

knowledge；　that　it　is　hard　to　believe　the　volume　came　from　the　press

at　a　time　when　persons　whom　I　well　remember　were　living。　　Is　it

possible　that　the　books　which　have　been　for　me　what　Morhof　was　for

Dr。　Johnson　can　look　like　that　to　the　student　of　the　year　1990？



Morhof　was　a　believer　in　magic　and　the　transmutation　of　metals。

There　was　always　something　fascinating　to　me　in　the　old　books　of

alchemy。　　I　have　felt　that　the　poetry　of　science　lost　its　wings　when

the　last　powder　of　projection　had　been　cast　into　the　crucible；　and

the　fire　of　the　last　transmutation　furnace　went　out。　　Perhaps　I　am

wrong　in　implying　that　alchemy　is　an　extinct　folly。　　It　existed　in

New　England's　early　days；　as　we　learn　from　the　Winthrop　papers；　and　I

see　no　reason　why　gold…making　should　not　have　its　votaries　as　well　as

other　popular　delusions。



Among　the　essays　of　Morhof　is　one　on　the　〃Paradoxes　of　the　Senses。〃

That　title　brought　to　mind　the　recollection　of　another　work　I　have

been　meaning　to　say　something　about；　at　some　time　when　you　were　in

the　listening　mood。　　The　book　I　refer　to　is　〃A　Budget　of　Paradoxes；〃

by　Augustus　De　Morgan。　　De　Morgan　is　well　remembered　as　a　very

distinguished　mathematician；　whose　works　have　kept　his　name　in　high

honor　to　the　present　time。　　The　book　I　am　speaking　of　was　published

by　his　widow；　and　is　largely　made　up　of　letters　received　by　him　and

his　comments　upon　them。　　Few　persons　ever　read　it　through。　　Few

intelligent　readers　ever　took　it　up　and　laid　it　down　without　taking　a

long　draught　of　its　singular　and　interesting　contents。　　The　letters

are　mostly　from　that　class　of　persons　whom　we　call　〃cranks；〃　in　our

familiar　language。



At　this　point　Number　Seven　interrupted　me　by　calling　out；　〃Give　us

some　of　those　cranks'　letters。　　A　crank　is　a　man　who　does　his　own

thinking。　　I　had　a　relation　who　was　called　a　crank。　　I　believe　I　have

been　spoken　of　as　one　myself。　　That　is　what　you　have　to　expect　if　you

invent　anything　that　puts　an　old　machine　out　of　fashion；　or　solve　a

problem　that　has　puzzled　all　the　world　up　to　your　time。　　There　never

was　a　religion　founded　but　its　Messiah　was　called　a　crank。　　There

never　was　an　idea　started　that　woke　up　men　out　of　their　stupid

indifference　but　its　originator　was　spoken　of　as　a　crank。　　Do　you

want　to　know　why　that　name　is　given　to　the　men　who　do　most　for　the

world's　progress？　　I　will　tell　you。　　It　is　because　cranks　make　all

the　wheels　in　all　the　machinery　of　the　world　go　round。　　What　would　a

steam…engine　be　without　a　crank？　　I　suppose　the　first　fool　that

looked　on　the　first　crank　that　was　ever　made　asked　what　that　crooked；

queer…looking　thing　was　good　for。　　When　the　wheels　got　moving　he

found　out。　　Tell　us　something　about　that　book　which　has　so　much　to

say　concerning　cranks。〃



Hereupon　I　requested　Delilah　to　carry　back　Morhof；　and　replace　him　in

the　wide　gap　he　had　left　in　the　bookshelf。　　She　was　then　to　find　and

bring　down　the　volume　I　had　been　speaking　of。



Delilah　took　the　wisdom　of　the　seventeenth　century　in　her　arms；　and

departed　on　her　errand。　　The　book　she　brought　down　was　given　me　some

years　ago　by　a　gentleman　who　had　sagaciously　foreseen　that　it　was

just　one　of　those　works　which　I　might　hesitate　about　buying；　but

should　be　well　pleased　to　own。　　He　guessed　well；　the　book　has　been　a

great　source　of　instruction　and　entertainment　to　me。　　I　wonder　that

so　much　time　and　cost　should　have　been　expended　upon　a　work　which

might　have　borne　a　title　like　the　Encomium　Moriae　of　Erasmus；　and　yet

it　is　such　a　wonderful　museum　of　the　productions　of　the　squinting

brains　belonging　to　the　class　of　persons　commonly　known　as　cranks

that　we　could　hardly　spare　one　of　its　five　hundred　octavo　pages。



Those　of　us　who　are　in　the　habit　of　receiving　letters　from　all　sorts

of　would…be…literary　peopleletters　of　inquiry；　many　of　them　with

reference　to　matters　we　are　supposed　to　understandcan　readily　see

how　it　was　that　Mr。　De　Morgan；　never　too　busy　to　be　good…natured　with

the　people　who　pesteredor　amused…him　with　their　queer　fancies；

received　such　a　number　of　letters　from　persons　who　thought　they　had

made　great　discoveries；　from　those　who　felt　that　they　and　their

inventions　and　contrivances　had　been　overlooked；　and　who　sought　in

his　large　charity　of　disposition　and　great　receptiveness　a　balm　for

their　wounded　feelings　and　a　ray　of　hope　for　their　darkened

prospects。



The　book　before　us　is　made　up　from　papers　published　in　〃The

Athenaeum；〃　with　additions　by　the　author。　　Soon　after　opening　it　we

come　to　names　with　which　we　are　familiar；　the　first　of　these；　that　of

Cornelius　Agrippa；　being　connected　with　the　occult　and　mystic

doctrines　dealt　with　by　many　of　De　Morgan's　correspondents。　　But　the

name　most　likely　to　arrest　us　is　that　of　Giordano　Bruno；　the　same

philosopher；　heretic；　and　martyr　whose　statue　has　recently　been

erected　in　Rome；　to　the　great　horror　of　the　Pope　and　his　prelates　in

the　Old　World　and　in　the　New。　　De　Morgan's　pithy　account　of　him　will

interest　the　company　：　〃Giordano　Bruno　was　all　paradox。　　He　was；　as

has　been　said；　a　vorticist　before　Descartes；　an　optimist　before

Leibnitz；　a　Copernican　before　Galileo。　　It　would　be　easy　to　collect　a

hundred　strange　opinions　of　his。　　He　was　born　about　1550；　and　was

roasted　alive　at　Rome；　February　17；　1600；　for　the　maintenance　and

defence　of　the　Holy　Church；　and　the　rights　and　liberties　of　the

same。〃



Number　Seven　could　not　contain　himself　when　the　reading　had　reached

this　point。　　He　rose　from　his　chair；　and　tinkled　his　spoon　against

the　side　of　his　teacup。　　It　may　have　been　a　fancy；　but　I　thought　it

returned　a　sound　which　Mr。　Richard　Briggs　would　have　recognized　as

implying　an　organic　defect。　　But　Number　Seven　did　not　seem　to　notice

it；　or；　if　be　did；　to　mind　it。



〃Why　did　n't　we　all　have　a　chance　to　help　erect　that　statue？〃　he

cried。　　〃A　murdered　heretic　at　the　beginning　of　the　seventeenth

century；　a　hero　of　knowledge　in　the　nineteenth；I　drink　to　the

memory　of　the　roasted　crank；　Giordano　Bruno！〃



Number　Seven　lifted　his　teacup　to　his　lips；　and　most　of　us　followed

his　example。



After　this　outburst　of　emotion　and　eloquence　had　subsided；　and　the

teaspoons　lay　quietly　in　their　saucers；　I　went　on　with　my　extract

from　the　book　I　had　in　hand。



I　think；　I　said；　that　the　passage　which　follows　will　be　new　and

instructive　to　most　of　the　company。　　De　Morgan's　interpretation　of

the　cabalistic　sentence；　made　up　as　you　will　find　it；　is　about　as

ingenious　a　piece　of　fanciful　exposition　as　you　will　be　likely　to

meet　with　anywhere　in　any　book；　new　or　old。　　I　am　the　more　willing　to

mention　it　as　it　suggests　a　puzzle　which　some　of　the　company　may　like

to　work　upon。　　Observe　the　character　and　position　of　the　two

distinguished　philosophers　who　did　not　think　their　time　thrown　away

in　laboring　at　this　seemingly　puerile　task。



〃There　is　a　kind　of　Cabbala　Alphabetica　which　the　investigators　of

the　numerals　in　words　would　do　well　to　take　up；　it　is　the　formation

of　sentences　which　contain　all　the　letters　of　the　alphabet；　and　each

only　once。　　No　one　has　done　it　with　v　and　j　treated　as　consonants；

but　you　and　I　can　do　it。　　Dr。　Whewell　and　I　amused　ourselves　some

years　ago　with　attempts。　　He　could　not　make　sense；　though　he　joined

words　he　gave　me　Phiz；　styx；　wrong；　buck；　flame；　quiz。



〃I　gave　him　the　following；　which　he　agreed　was　'admirable　sense；'

I　certainly　think　the　words　would　never　have　come　together　except　in

this　way：　I　quartz　pyx　who　fling　muck　beds。　　I　long　thought　that　no

human　being　could　say　this　under　any　circumstances。　　At　last　I

happened　to　be　reading　a　religious　writer；as　he　thought　himself；

who　threw　aspersions　on　his　opponents　thick　and　threefold。　　Heyday

came　into　my　head；　this　fellow　flings　muck　beds；　he　must　be　a　quartz

pyx。　　And　then　I　remembered　that　a　pyx　is　a　sacred　vessel；　and　quartz

is　a　hard　stone；　as　hard　as　the　heart　of　a　religious　foe…curser。　　So

that　the　line　is　the　motto　of　the　ferocious　sectarian　who　turns　his

religious　vessels　into　mud…holders；　for　the　benefit　of　those　who　will

not　see　what　he　sees。〃



There　are　several　other　sentences　given；　in　which　all　the　letters

（except　v　and　j　as　consonants）　are　employed；　of　which　the　following

is　the　best：　Get　nymph；　quiz　sad　brow；　fix　luck；which　in　more　sober

English　would　be；　Marry；　be　cheerful；　watch　your　business。　　There　is

more　edification；　mare　religion；　in　this　than　in　all　the　666

interpretations　put　toge