the patrician-第56节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
life of a bird; between those swift sweeps of darkness。 This great
uncanny spirit; brooding malevolent over the high leagues of moon…wan
grass; seemed waiting to swoop; and pluck up in its talons; and
devour; all that intruded on the wild loneness of these far…up plains
of freedom。 Barbara almost expected to hear coming from it the lost
whistle of the buzzard hawks。 And her dream came back to her。 Where
were her wings…the wings that in sleep had borne her to the stars;
the wings that would never lift herwakingfrom the ground? Where
too were Miltoun's wings? She crouched back into her corner; a tear
stole up and trickled out between her closed lids…another and another
followed。 Faster and faster they came。 Then she felt Miltoun's arm
round her; and heard him say: 〃Don't cry; Babs!〃 Instinct telling
her what to do; she laid her head against his chest; and sobbed
bitterly。 Struggling with those sobs; she grew less and less
unhappyknowing that he could never again feel quite so desolate; as
before he tried to give her comfort。 It was all a bad dream; and
they would soon wake from it! And they would be happy; as happy as
they had been beforebefore these last months! And she whispered:
〃Only a little while; Eusty!〃
CHAPTER XXIX
Old Lady Harbinger dying in the early February of the following year;
the marriage of Barbara with her son was postponed till June。
Much of the wild sweetness of Spring still clung to the high moor
borders of Monkland on the early morning of the wedding day。
Barbara was already up and dressed for riding when her maid came to
call her; and noting Stacey's astonished eyes fix themselves on her
boots; she said:
〃Well; Stacey?〃
〃It'll tire you。〃
〃Nonsense; I'm not going to be hung。〃
Refusing the company of a groom; she made her way towards the stretch
of high moor where she had ridden with Courtier a year ago。 Here
over the short; as yet unflowering; heather; there was a mile or more
of level galloping ground。 She mounted steadily; and her spirit
rode; as it were; before her; longing to get up there among the
peewits and curlew; to feel the crisp; peaty earth slip away under
her; and the wind drive in her face; under that deep blue sky。
Carried by this warm…blooded sweetheart of hers; ready to jump out of
his smooth hide with pleasure; snuffling and sneezing in sheer joy;
whose eye she could see straying round to catch a glimpse of her
intentions; from whose lips she could hear issuing the sweet bitt…
music; whose vagaries even seemed designed to startle from her a
closer embracingshe was filled with a sort of delicious impatience
with everything that was not this perfect communing with vigour。
Reaching the top; she put him into a gallop。 With the wind furiously
assailing her face and throat; every muscle crisped; and all her
blood tinglingthis was a very ecstasy of motion!
She reined in at the cairn whence she and Courtier had looked down at
the herds of ponies。 It was the merest memory now; vague and a
little sweet; like the remembrance of some exceptional Spring day;
when trees seem to flower before your eyes; and in sheer wantonness
exhale a scent of lemons。 The ponies were there still; and in
distance the shining sea。 She sat thinking of nothing; but how good
it was to be alive。 The fullness and sweetness of it all; the
freedom and strength! Away to the West over a lonely farm she could
see two buzzard hawks hunting in wide circles。 She did not envy
themso happy was she; as happy as the morning。 And there came to
her suddenly the true; the overmastering longing of mountain tops。
〃I must;〃 she thought; 〃I simply must!〃
Slipping off her horse she lay down on her back; and at once
everything was lost except the sky。 Over her body; supported above
solid earth by the warm; soft heather; the wind skimmed without sound
or touch。 Her spirit became one with that calm unimaginable freedom。
Transported beyond her own contentment; she no longer even knew
whether she was joyful。
The horse Hal; attempting to eat her sleeve; aroused her。 She
mounted him; and rode down。 Near home she took a short cut across a
meadow; through which flowed two thin bright streams; forming a delta
full of lingering 'milkmaids;' mauve marsh orchis; and yellow flags。
》From end to end of this long meadow; so varied; so pied with trees
and stones; and flowers; and water; the last of the Spring was
passing。
Some ponies; shyly curious of Barbara and her horse; stole up; and
stood at a safe distance; with their noses dubiously stretched out;
swishing their lean tails。 And suddenly; far up; following their own
music; two cuckoos flew across; seeking the thorn…trees out on the
moor。 While she was watching the arrowy birds; she caught sight of
someone coming towards her from a clump of beech…trees; and suddenly
saw that it was Mrs。 Noel!
She rode forward; flushing。 What dared she say? Could she speak of
her wedding; and betray Miltoun's presence? Could she open her mouth
at all without rousing painful feeling of some sort? Then; impatient
of indecision; she began:
〃I'm so glad to see you again。 I didn't know you were still down
here。〃
〃I only came back to England yesterday; and I'm just here to see to
the packing of my things。〃
〃Oh!〃 murmured Barbara。 〃You know what's happening to me; I
suppose?〃
Mrs。 Noel smiled; looked up; and said: 〃I heard last night。 All joy
to you!〃
A lump rose in Barbara's throat。
〃I'm so glad to have seen you;〃 she murmured once more; 〃I expect I
ought to be getting on;〃 and with the word 〃 Good…bye;〃 gently
echoed; she rode away。
But her mood of delight was gone; even the horse Hal seemed to tread
unevenly; for all that he was going back to that stable which ever
appeared to him desirable ten minutes after he had left it。
Except that her eyes seemed darker; Mrs。 Noel had not changed。 If
she had shown the faintest sign of self…pity; the girl would never
have felt; as she did now; so sorry and upset。
Leaving the stables; she saw that the wind was driving up a huge;
white; shining cloud。 〃Isn't it going to be fine after all!〃 she
thought。
Re…entering the house by an old and so…called secret stairway that
led straight to the library; she had to traverse that great dark
room。 There; buried in an armchair in front of the hearth she saw
Miltoun with a book on his knee; not reading; but looking up at the
picture of the old Cardinal。 She hurried on; tiptoeing over the。
soft carpet; holding her breath; fearful of disturbing the queer
interview; feeling guilty; too; of her new knowledge; which she did
not mean to impart。 She had burnt her fingers once at the flame
between them; she would not do so a second time!
Through the window at the far end she saw that the cloud had burst;
it was raining furiously。 She regained her bedroom unseen。 In spite
of her joy out there on the moor; this last adventure of her girlhood
had not been all success; she had again the old sensations; the old
doubts; the dissatisfaction which she had thought dead。 Those two!
To shut one's eyes; and be happywas it possible! A great rainbow;
the nearest she had ever seen; had sprung up in the park; and was
come to earth again in some fields close by。 The sun was shining out
already through the wind…driven bright rain。 Jewels of blue had
begun to star the black and white and golden clouds。 A strange white
light…ghost of Spring passing in this last violent outburst…painted
the leaves of every tree; and a hundred savage hues had come down
like a motley of bright birds on moor and fields。
The moment of desperate beauty caught Barbara by the throat。 Its
spirit of galloping wildness flew straight into her heart。 She
clasped her hands across her breast to try and keep that moment。 Far
out; a cuckoo hooted…and the immortal call passed on the wind。 In
that call all the beauty; and colour; and rapture of life seemed to
be flying by。 If she could only seize and evermore have it in her
heart; as the buttercups out there imprisoned the sun; or the fallen
raindrops on the sweetbriars round the windows enclosed all changing
light! If only there were no chains; no walls; and finality were
dead!
Her clock struck ten。 At this time to…morrow! Her cheeks turned
hot; in a mirror she could see them burning; her lips scornfully
curved; her eyes strange。 Standing there; she looked long at
herself; till; little by little; her face lost every vestige of that
disturbance; became solid and resolute again。 She ceased to have the
galloping wild feeling in her heart; and instead felt cold。 Detached
from herself she watched; with contentment; her own calm and radiant
beauty resume the armour it had for that moment put off。
After dinner that night; when the men left the dining…hall; Miltoun
slipped away to his den。 Of all those present in the little church
he had seemed most unemotional; and had been most moved。 Though it
had been so quiet and private a wedding; he had resented all cheap
festivity accompanying the passing of his young sister。 He would
have had that ceremony in the little dark disused chapel at the
Court; those two; and the