the patrician-第55节

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and　nearer；　till；　seeing　that　they　paid　no　more　heed　to　her　than　if
she　were　an　attendant　statue；　she　had　regained　her　position　by　the
window。

Lady　Casterley　was　speaking。

〃I　was　not　going　to　see　you　ruined　before　my　eyes；　Eustace。　　I　did
what　I　did　at　very　great　cost。　　I　did　my　best　for　you。〃

Barbara　saw　Miltoun's　face　transfigured　by　a　dreadful　smilethe
smile　of　one　defying　his　torturer　with　hate。　　Lady　Casterley　went　on：

〃Yes；　you　stand　there　looking　like　a　devil。　　Hate　me　if　you　likebut
don't　betray　us；　moaning　and　moping　because　you　can't　have　the　moon。
Put　on　your　armour；　and　go　down　into　the　battle。　　Don't　play　the
coward；　boy！〃

Miltoun's　answer　cut　like　the　lash　of　a　whip。

〃By　God！　　Be　silent！〃

And　weirdly；　there　was　silence。　　It　was　not　the　brutality　of　the
words；　but　the　sight　of　force　suddenly　naked　of　all　disguiselike　a
fierce　dog　let　for　a　moment　off　its　chainwhich　made　Barbara　utter　a
little　dismayed　sound。　　Lady　Casterley　had　dropped　into　a　chair；
trembling。　　And　without　a　look　Miltoun　passed　her。　　If　their
grandmother　had　fallen　dead；　Barbara　knew　he　would　not　have　stopped
to　see。　　She　ran　forward；　but　the　old　woman　waved　her　away。

〃Go　after　him；〃　she　said；　〃don't　let　him　go　alone。〃

And　infected　by　the　fear　in　that　wizened　voice；　Barbara　flew。

She　caught　her　brother　as　he　was　entering　the　taxi…cab　in　which　he
had　come；　and　without　a　word　slipped　in　beside　him。　　The　driver's
face　appeared　at　the　window；　but　Miltoun　only　motioned　with　his　head；
as　if　to　say：　Anywhere；　away　from　here！

The　thought　flashed　through　Barbara：　〃If　only　I　can　keep　him　in　here
with　me！〃

She　leaned　out；　and　said　quietly：

〃To　Nettlefold；　in　Sussexnever　mind　your　petrolget　more　on　the
road。　　You　can　have　what　fare　you　like。　　Quick！〃

The　man　hesitated；　looked　in　her　face；　and　said：

〃Very　well；　miss。　　By　Dorking；　ain't　it？〃

Barbara　nodded。




CHAPTER　XXVIII

The　clock　over　the　stables　was　chiming　seven　when　Miltoun　and　Barbara
passed　out　of　the　tall　iron　gates；　in　their　swift…moving　small　world；
that　smelled　faintly　of　petrol。　　Though　the　cab　was　closed；　light
spurts　of　rain　drifted　in　through　the　open　windows；　refreshing　the
girl's　hot　face；　relieving　a　little　her　dread　of　this　drive。　　For；
now　that　Fate　had　been　really　cruel；　now　that　it　no　longer　lay　in
Miltoun's　hands　to　save　himself　from　suffering；　her　heart　bled　for
him；　and　she　remembered　to　forget　herself。　　The　immobility　with　which
he　had　received　her　intrusion；　was　ominous。　　And　though　silent　in　her
corner；　she　was　desperately　working　all　her　woman's　wits　to　discover
a　way　of　breaking　into　the　house　of　his　secret　mood。　　He　appeared　not
even　to　have　noticed　that　they　had　turned　their　backs　on　London；　and
passed　into　Richmond　Park。

Here　the　trees；　made　dark　by　rain；　seemed　to　watch　gloomily　the
progress　of　this　whirring…wheeled　red　box；　unreconciled　even　yet　to
such　harsh　intruders　on　their　wind…scented　tranquillity。　　And　the
deer；　pursuing　happiness　on　the　sweet　grasses；　raised　disquieted
noses；　as　who　should　say：　Poisoners　of　the　fern；　defilers　of　the
trails　of　air！

Barbara　vaguely　felt　the　serenity　out　there　in　the　clouds；　and　the
trees；　and　wind。　　If　it　would　but　creep　into　this　dim；　travelling
prison；　and　help　her；　if　it　would　but　come；　like　sleep；　and　steal
away　dark　sorrow；　and　in　one　moment　make　grief…joy。　　But　it　stayed
outside　on　its　wistful　wings；　and　that　grand　chasm　which　yawns
between　soul　and　soul　remained　unbridged。　　For　what　could　she　say？
How　make　him　speak　of　what　he　was　going　to　do？　　What　alternatives
indeed　were　now　before　him？　　Would　he　sullenly　resign　his　seat；　and
wait　till　he　could　find　Audrey　Noel　again？　　But　even　if　he　did　find
her；　they　would　only　be　where　they　were。　　She　had　gone；　in　order　not
to　be　a　drag　on　himit　would　only　be　the　same　thing　all　over　again！
Would　he　then；　as　Granny　had　urged　him；　put　on　his　armour；　and　go
down　into　the　fight？　　But　that　indeed　would　mean　the　end；　for　if　she
had　had　the　strength　to　go　away　now；　she　would　surely　never　come　back
and　break　in　on　his　life　a　second　time。　　And　a　grim　thought　swooped
down　on　Barbara。　　What　if　he　resigned　everything！　　Went　out　into　the
dark！　　Men　did　sometimesshe　knewcaught　like　this　in　the　full
flush　of　passion。　　But　surely　not　Miltoun；　with　his　faith！　　'If　the
lark's　song　means　nothingif　that　sky　is　a　morass　of　our　invention
if　we　are　pettily　creeping　on；　furthering　nothingpersuade　me　of　it；
Babs；　and　I'll　bless　you。'　But　had　he　still　that　anchorage；　to
prevent　him　slipping　out　to　sea？　　This　sudden　thought　of　death　to　one
for　whom　life　was　joy；　who　had　never　even　seen　the　Great　Stillness；
was　very　terrifying。　　She　fixed　her　eyes　on　the　back　of　the
chauffeur；　in　his　drab　coat　with　the　red　collar；　finding　some　comfort
in　its　solidity。　　They　were　in　a　taxi…cab；　in　Richmond　Park！　　Death…
incongruous；　incredible　death！　　It　was　stupid　to　be　frightened！　　She
forced　herself　to　look　at　Miltoun。　　He　seemed　to　be　asleep；　his　eyes
were　closed；　his　arms　foldedonly　a　quivering　of　his　eyelids
betrayed　him。　　Impossible　to　tell　what　was　going　on　in　that　grim
waking　sleep；　which　made　her　feel　that　she　was　not　there　at　all；　so
utterly　did　he　seem　withdrawn　into　himself！

He　opened　his　eyes；　and　said　suddenly：

〃So　you　think　I'm　going　to　lay　hands　on　myself；　Babs？〃

Horribly　startled　by　this　reading　of　her　thoughts；　Barbara　could　only
edge　away　and　stammer：

〃No；　oh；　no！〃

〃Where　are　we　going　in　this　thing？〃

〃Nettlefold。　　Would　you　like　him　stopped？〃

〃It　will　do　as　well　as　anywhere。〃

Terrified　lest　he　should　relapse　into　that　grim　silence；　she　timidly
possessed　herself　of　his　hand。

It　was　fast　growing　dark；　the　cab；　having　left　the　villas　of　Surbiton
behind；　was　flying　along　at　great　speed　among　pine…trees　and
stretches　of　heather　gloomy　with　faded　daylight。

Miltoun　said　presently；　in　a　queer；　slow　voice　〃If　I　want；　I　have
only　to　open　that　door　and　jump。　　You　who　believe　that　'to…morrow　we
die'give　me　the　faith　to　feel　that　I　can　free　myself　by　that　jump；
and　out　I　go！〃　　Then；　seeming　to　pity　her　terrified　squeeze　of　his
hand；　he　added：　〃It's　all　right；　Babs；　we；　shall　sleep　comfortably
enough　in　our　beds　tonight。〃

But；　so　desolate　to　the　girl　was　his　voice；　that　she　hoped　now　for
silence。

〃Let　us　be　skinned　quietly；〃　muttered　Miltoun；　〃if　nothing　else。
Sorry　to　have　disturbed　you。〃

Pressing　close　up　to　him；　Barbara　murmured：

〃If　only　Talk　to　me！〃。

But　Miltoun；　though　he　stroked　her　hand；　was　silent。

The　cab；　moving　at　unaccustomed　speed　along　these　deserted　roads；
moaned　dismally；　and　Barbara　was　possessed　now　by　a　desire　which　she
dared　not　put　in　practice；　to　pull　his　head　down；　and　rock　it　against
her。　　Her　heart　felt　empty；　and　timid；　to　have　something　warm　resting
on　it　would　have　made　all　the　difference。　　Everything　real；
substantial；　comforting；　seemed　to　have　slipped　away。　　Among　these
flying　dark　ghosts　of　pine…treesas　it　were　the　unfrequented
borderland　between　two　worldsthe　feeling　of　a　cheek　against　her
breast　alone　could　help　muffle　the　deep　disquiet　in　her；　lost　like　a
child　in　a　wood。

The　cab　slackened　speed；　the　driver　was　lighting　his　lamps；　and　his
red　face　appeared　at　the　window。

〃We'll　'ave　to　stop　here；　miss；　I'm　out　of　petrol。　　Will　you　get　some
dinner；　or　go　through？〃

〃Through；〃　answered　Barbara：

While　they　were　passing　the　little　their；　buying　then　petrol；　asking
the　way；　she　felt　less　miserable；　and　even　looked　about　her　with　a
sort　of　eagerness。　　Then　when　they　had　started　again；　she　thought：　If
I　could　get　him　to　sleepthe　sea　will　comfort　him！　　But　his　eyes
were　staring；　wide…open。　　She　feigned　sleep　herself；　letting　her　head
slip　a　little　to　one　side；　causing　small　sounds　of　breathing　to
escape。　　The　whirring　of　the　wheels；　the　moaning　of　the　cab　joints；
the　dark　trees　slipping　by；　the　scent　of　the　wet　fern　drifting　in；
all　these　must　surely　help！　　And　presently　she　felt　that　he　was
indeed　slipping　into　darknessand　then…she　felt　nothing。

When　she　awoke　from　the　sleep　into　which　she　had　seen　Miltoun　fall；
the　cab　was　slowly　mounting　a　steep　hill；　above　which　the　moon　had
risen。　　The　air　smelled　strong　and　sweet；　as　though　it　had　passed
over　leagues　of　grass。

〃The　Downs！〃　she　thought；　〃I　must　have　been　asleep！〃

In　sudden　terror；　she　looked　round　for　Miltoun。　　But　he　was　still
there；　exactly　as　before；　leaning　back　rigid　in　his　corner　of　the
cab；　with　staring　eyes；　and　no　other　signs　of　life。　　And　still　only
half　awake；　like　a　great　warm　sleepy　child　startled　out　of　too　deep
slumber；　she　clutched；　and　clung　to　him。　　The　thought　that　he　had
been　sitting　like　that；　with　his　spirit　far　away；　all　the　time　that
she　had　been　betraying　her　watch　in　sleep；　was　dreadful。　　But　to　her
embrace　there　was　no　response；　and　awake　indeed　now；　ashamed；　sore；
Barbara　released　him；　and　turned　her　face　to　the　air。

Out　there；　two　thin；　dense…black；　long　clouds；　shaped　like　the　wings
of　a　hawk；　had　joined　themselves　together；　so　that　nothing　of　the
moon　showed　but　a　living　brightness　imprisoned；　like　the　eyes　and
life　of　a　bird；　between　those　swift　sweeps　of　darkness。　　This　great
uncanny