the patrician-第45节

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feeling；　rushed　through　her。　　Revolt　and　attraction；　contempt　and
admiration；　queer　sensations　of　disgust　and　pleasure；　all　mingledas
on　a　May　day　one　may　see　the　hail　fall；　and　the　sun　suddenly　burn
through　and　steam　from　the　grass。

Then　he　said　hoarsely：

〃Oh！　　Babs；　you　madden　me　so！〃

Smoothing　her　lips；　as　if　to　regain　control　of　them；　she　answered：

〃Yes；　I　think　I　have　had　enough；〃　and　went　out　into　her　father's
study。

The　sight　of　Lord　and　Lady　Valleys　so　intently　staring　at　Miltoun
restored　hex　self…possession。

It　struck　her　as　slightly　comic；　not　knowing　that　the　little　scene
was　the　outcome　of　that　word。　　In　truth；　the　contrast　between　Miltoun
and　his　parents　at　this　moment　was　almost　ludicrous。

Lady　Valleys　was　the　first　to　speak。

〃Better　comic　than　romantic。　　I　suppose　Barbara　may　know；　considering
her　contribution　to　this　matter。　　Your　brother　is　resigning　his　seat；
my　dear；　his　conscience　will　not　permit　him　to　retain　it；　under
certain　circumstances　that　have　arisen。〃

〃Oh！〃　cried　Barbara：　〃but　surely〃

〃The　matter　has　been　argued；　Babs；〃　Lord　Valleys　said　shortly；
〃unless　you　have　some　better　reason　to　advance　than　those　of　ordinary
common　sense；　public　spirit；　and　consideration　for　one's　family；　it
will　hardly　be　worth　your　while　to　reopen　the　discussion。〃

Barbara　looked　up　at　Miltoun；；　whose　face；　all　but　the　eyes；　was　like
a　mask。

〃Oh；　Eusty！〃　she　said；　〃you're　not　going　to　spoil　your　life　like
this！　　Just　think　how　I　shall　feel。〃

Miltoun　answered　stonily：

〃You　did　what　you　thought　right；　as　I　am　doing。〃

〃Does　she　want　you　to？〃

〃No。〃

〃There　is；　I　should　imagine；〃　put　in　Lord　Valleys；　〃not　a　solitary
creature　in　the　whole　world　except　your　brother　himself　who　would
wish　for　this　consummation。　　But　with　him　such　a　consideration　does
not　weigh！〃

〃Oh！〃　sighed　Barbara；　〃think　of　Granny！〃

〃I　prefer　not　to　think　of　her；〃　murmured　Lady　Valleys。

〃She's　so　wrapped　up　in　you；　Eusty。　　She　always　has　believed　in　you
intensely。〃

Miltoun　sighed。　　And；　encouraged　by　that　sound；　Barbara　went　closer。

It　was　plain　enough　that；　behind　his　impassivity；　a　desperate
struggle　was　going　on　in　Miltoun。　　He　spoke　at　last：

〃If　I　have　not　already　yielded　to　one　who　is　naturally　more　to　me
than　anything；　when　she　begged　and　entreated；　it　is　because　I　feel
this　in　a　way　you　don't　realize。　　I　apologize　for　using　the　word
comic　just　now；　I　should　have　said　tragic。　　I'll　enlighten　Uncle
Dennis；　if　that　will　comfort　you；　but　this　is　not　exactly　a　matter
for　anyone；　except　myself。〃　　And；　without　another　look　or　word；　he
went　out。

As　the　door　closed；　Barbara　ran　towards　it；　and；　with　a　motion
strangely　like　the　wringing　of　hands；　said

〃Oh；　dear！　　Oh！　dear！〃　Then；　turning　away　to　a　bookcase；　she　began　to
cry。

This　ebullition　of　feeling；　surpassing　even　their　own；　came　as　a　real
shock　to　Lady　and　Lord　Valleys；　ignorant　of　how　strung…up　she　had
been　before　she　entered　the　room。　　They　had　not　seen　Barbara　cry
since　she　was　a　tiny　girl。　　And　in　face　of　her　emotion　any　animus
they　might　have　shown　her　for　having　thrown　Miltoun　into　Mrs。　Noel's
arms；　now　melted　away。　　Lord　Valleys；　especially　moved；　went　up　to
his　daughter；　and　stood　with　her　in　that　dark　corner；　saying　nothing；
but　gently　stroking　her　hand。　　Lady　Valleys；　who　herself　felt　very
much　inclined　to　cry；　went　out　of　sight　into　the　embrasure　of　the
window。

Barbara's　sobbing　was　soon　subdued。

〃It's　his　face；〃　she　said：　〃And　why？　　Why？　　It's　so　unnecessary！〃

Lord　Valleys；　continually　twisting　his　moustache；　muttered：

〃Exactly！　　He　makes　things　for　himself！〃

〃Yes；〃　murmured　Lady　Valleys　from　the　window；　〃he　was　always
uncomfortable；　like　that。　　I　remember　him　as　a　baby。　　Bertie　never
was。〃

And　then　the　silence　was　only　broken　by　the　little　angry　sounds　of
Barbara　blowing　her　nose。

〃I　shall　go　and　see　mother；〃　said　Lady　Valleys；　suddenly：　〃The　boy's
whole　life　may　be　ruined　if　we　can't　stop　this。　　Are　you　coming；
child？〃

But　Barbara　refused。

She　went　to　her　room；　instead。　　This　crisis　in　Miltoun's　life　had
strangely　shaken　her。　　It　was　as　if　Fate　had　suddenly　revealed　all
that　any　step　out　of　the　beaten　path　might　lead　to；　had　brought　her
sharply　up　against　herself。　　To　wing　out　into　the　blue！　　See　what　it
meant！　　If　Miltoun　kept　to　his　resolve；　and　gave　up　public　life；　he
was　lost！　　And　she　herself！　　The　fascination　of　Courtier's　chivalrous
manner；　of　a　sort　of　innate　gallantry；　suggesting　the　quest　of
everlasting　dangerwas　it　not　rather　absurd？　　Andwas　she
fascinated？　　Was　it　not　simply　that　she　liked　the　feeling　of
fascinating　him？　　Through　the　maze　of　these　thoughts；　darted　the
memory　of　Harbinger's　face　close　to　her　own；　his　clenched　hands；　the
swift　revelation　of　his　dangerous　masculinity。　　It　was　all　a
nightmare　of　scaring　queer　sensations；　of　things　that　could　never　be
settled。　　She　was　stirred　for　once　out　of　all　her　normal　conquering
philosophy。　　Her　thoughts　flew　back　to　Miltoun。　　That　which　she　had
seen　in　their　faces；　then；　had　come　to　pass！　　And　picturing　Agatha's
horror；　when　she　came　to　hear　of　it；　Barbara　could　not　help　a　smile。
Poor　Eustace！　　Why　did　he　take　things　so　hardly？　　If　he　really
carried　out　his　resolveand　he　never　changed　his　mindit　would　be
tragic！　　It　would　mean　the　end　of　everything　for　him！

Perhaps　now　he　would　get　tired　of　Mrs。　Noel。　　But　she　was　not　the
sort　of　woman　a　man　would　get　tired　of。　　Even　Barbara　in　her
inexperience　felt　that。　　She　would　always　be　too　delicately　careful
never　to　cloy　him；　never　to　exact　anything　from　him；　or　let　him　feel
that　he　was　bound　to　her　by　so　much　as　a　hair。　　Ah！　why　couldn't　they
go　on　as　if　nothing　had　happened？　　Could　nobody　persuade　him？　　She
thought　again　of　Courtier。　　If　he；　who　knew　them　both；　and　was　so
fond　of　Mrs。　Noel；　would　talk　to　Miltoun；　about　the　right　to　be
happy；　the　right　to　revolt？　　Eustace　ought　to　revolt！　　It　was　his
duty。　　She　sat　down　to　write；　then；　putting　on　her　hat；　took　the　note
and　slipped　downstairs。




CHAPTER　XIX

The　flowers　of　summer　in　the　great　glass　house　at　Ravensham　were
keeping　the　last　afternoon…watch　when　Clifton　summoned　Lady　Casterley
with　the　words：

〃Lady　Valleys　in　the　white　room。〃

Since　the　news　of　Miltoun's　illness；　and　of　Mrs。　Noel's　nursing；　the
little　old　lady　had　possessed　her　soul　in　patience；　often；　it　is
true；　afflicted　with　poignant　misgivings　as　to　this　new　influence　in
the　life　of　her　favourite；　affected　too　by　a　sort　of　jealousy；　not　to
be　admitted；　even　in　her　prayers；　which；　though　regular　enough；　were
perhaps　somewhat　formal。　　Having　small　liking　now　for　leaving　home；
even　for　Catton；　her　country　place；　she　was　still　at　Ravensham；　where
Lord　Dennis　had　come　up　to　stay　with　her　as　soon　as　Miltoun　had　left
Sea　House。　　But　Lady　Casterley　was　never　very　dependent　on　company。
She　retained　unimpaired　her　intense　interest　in　politics；　and　still
corresponded　freely　with　prominent　men。　　Of　late；　too；　a　slight
revival　of　the　June　war　scare　had　made　its　mark　on　her　in　a　certain
rejuvenescence；　which　always　accompanied　her　contemplation　of
national　crises；　even　when　such　were　a　little　in　the　air。　　At　blast
of　trumpet　her　spirit　still　leaped　forward；　unsheathed　its　sword；　and
stood　at　the　salute。　　At　such　times；　she　rose　earlier；　went　to　bed
later；　was　far　less　susceptible　to　draughts；　and　refused　with
asperity　any　food　between　meals。　　She　wrote　too　with　her　own　hand
letters　which　she　would　otherwise　have　dictated　to　her　secretary。
Unfortunately　the　scare　had　died　down　again　almost　at　once；　and　the
passing　of　danger　always　left　her　rather　irritable。　　Lady　Valleys'
visit　came　as　a　timely　consolation。

She　kissed　her　daughter　critically；　for　there　was　that　about　her
manner　which　she　did　not　like。

〃Yes；　of　course　I　am　well！〃　she　said。　　〃Why　didn't　you　bring
Barbara？〃

〃She　was　tired！〃

〃H'm！　　Afraid　of　meeting　me；　since　she　committed　that　piece　of　folly
over　Eustace。　　You　must　be　careful　of　that　child；　Gertrude；　or　she
will　be　doing　something　silly　herself。　　I　don't　like　the　way　she
keeps　Claud　Harbinger　hanging　in　the　wind。〃

Her　daughter　cut　her　short：

〃There　is　bad　news　about　Eustace。〃

Lady　Casterley　lost　the　little　colour　in　her　cheeks；　lost；　too；　all
her　superfluity　of　irritable　energy。

〃Tell　me；　at　once！〃

Having　heard；　she　said　nothing；　but　Lady　Valleys　noticed　with　alarm
that　over　her　eyes　had　come　suddenly　the　peculiar　filminess　of　age。

〃Well；　what　do　you　advise？〃　she　asked。

Herself　tired；　and　troubled；　she　was　conscious　of　a　quite　unwonted
feeling　of　discouragement　before　this　silent　little　figure；　in　the
silent　white　room。　　She　had　never　before　seen　her　mother　look　as　if
she　heard　Defeat　passing　on　its　dark　wings。　　And　moved　by　sudden
tenderness　for　the　little　frail　body　that　had　borne　her　so　long　ago；
she　murmured　almost　with　surprise：

〃Mother；　dear！〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Lady　Casterley；　as　if　speaking　to　herself；　〃the　boy　saves
things　up；　he　stores　his　feelingsthey　burst　and　sweep　him　away。
First　his　passion；　now　his　conscience。　　There　are　two　men　in　him；　but
this　will　be　the　death　of　one　of　them。〃　　And　suddenly　turning　on　her
dau