hemingway, ernest - islands in the stream-第67节
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they ran before the wind for Cayo Cruz。〃
¨Inside the reef？〃
¨Inside until they were out of sight。〃
¨And the sub off Cayo Sal？〃
¨Stayed on the surface and shot it out with the blimp。〃
¨Iˇd stay in a state of defense if I were you。〃
¨I am；〃 the Lieutenant said。 ¨Thatˇs why you havenˇt seen anybody。〃
¨I saw the birds moving。〃
¨The poor birds；〃 the Lieutenant said。
VI
THEY WERE RUNNING TO THE WESTWARD inside the reef with the wind astern。 The tanks had been filled； the ice stowed； and below one watch was picking and cleaning chickens。 The other was cleaning weapons。 The canvas that shielded the flying bridge to waist height was laced on and the two long boards that announced in twelve…inch block letters the scientific mission of the boat were in place。 Looking over the side watching the depth of water Thomas Hudson saw the patches of chicken feathers floating out onto the following sea。
¨Take her in just as close as we can get without hitting any of those sandbars；〃 he told Ara。 ¨You know this coast。〃
¨I know itˇs no good；〃 Ara said。 ¨Where are we going to anchor？〃
¨I want to check up at the head of Cayo Cruz。〃
¨We can check there but I donˇt think it will be much use。 You donˇt think they would stay there； do you？〃
¨No。 But there might be fishermen in there who would have seen them。 Or charcoal burners。〃
¨I wish this wind would fail；〃 Ara said。 ¨Iˇd like to have a couple of days of flat calm。〃
¨Itˇs squally over Romano。〃
¨I know。 But this wind blows through here like through a pass in the mountains。 Weˇll never catch them if this wind keeps up。〃
¨Weˇve been right so far；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨And maybe weˇll get some luck。 They could have taken Lobos and used the radio there to call up that other sub to take them off。〃
¨That shows they didnˇt know the other sub was there。〃
¨Must be。 They move a lot in ten days。〃
¨When they want to；〃 Ara said。 ¨Letˇs stop thinking； Tom。 It gives me a headache。 Iˇd rather handle gas drums。 You think and tell me where you want me to steer。〃
¨Just as she goes and watch for that no…good Minerva。 Keep well inside of that and outside the sand…spits。〃
¨Good。〃
Do you suppose she lost her radio when she got smacked？ Thomas Hudson thought。 She must have had an emergency radio that she could have used。 But Peters never picked her up on the UHF after she was smacked。 Still； that doesnˇt necessarily prove anything。 Nothing proves anything except that those two boats were seen on the course we are on three days ago。 Did I ask him if they had their dinghys on deck？ No； I forgot to。 But they must have because he said they were ordinary Bahaman turtling boats except for the shelters they had rigged with the palm branches。
How many people？ You donˇt know。 Any wounded？ You donˇt know。 How armed？ All you know is a machine pistol。 Their course？ We are on it until now。
Maybe we will find something between Cayo Cruz and M？gano； he thought。 What youˇll probably find is lots of willets and iguana tracks in the sand toward the water hole。
Well； it keeps your mind off things。 What things？ There arenˇt any things any more。 Oh yes； there are。 There is this ship and the people on her and the sea and the bastards you are hunting。 Afterwards you will see your animals and go into town and get drunk as you can and your ashes dragged and then get ready to go out and do it again。
Maybe this time you will get these characters。 You did not destroy their undersea boat but you were faintly instrumental in its destruction。 If you can round up the crew； it will be extremely useful。
Then why donˇt you care anything about anything？ he asked himself。 Why donˇt you think of them as murderers and have the righteous feelings that you should have？ Why do you just pound and pound on after it like a riderless horse that is still in the race？ Because we are all murderers； he told himself。 We all are on both sides； if we are any good； and no good will come of any of it。
But you have to do it。 Sure； he said。 But I donˇt have to be proud of it。 I only have to do it well。 I didnˇt hire out to like it。 You did not even hire out； he told himself。 That makes it even worse。
¨Let me take her； Ara；〃 he said。
Ara gave him the wheel。
¨Keep a good lookout to starboard。 But donˇt let the sun bund you。〃
¨Iˇll get my glasses。 Look； Tom。 Why donˇt you let me steer and get a good four…man lookout up here？ Youˇre tired and you didnˇt rest at all at the key。〃
¨We donˇt need a four…man lookout in here。 Later on we will。〃
¨But youˇre tired。〃
¨Iˇm not sleepy。 Look； if they run nights along here close in to shore they are going to get in trouble。 Then they will have to lay up to make repairs and we will find them。〃
¨Thatˇs no reason for you never to rest； Tom。〃
¨Iˇm not doing it to show off；〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨No one has ever thought so。〃
¨How do you feel about these bastards？〃
¨Only that we will catch them and kill what is necessary and bring the others in。〃
¨What about the massacre？〃
¨I donˇt say we would have done the same thing。 But they thought it was necessary。 They did not do it for pleasure；〃 Ara said。
¨And their dead man？〃
¨Henry has wanted to kill Peters several times。 I have wanted to kill him myself sometimes。〃
¨Yes；〃 Thomas Hudson agreed。 ¨It is not an uncommon feeling。〃
¨I donˇt think of any of these things and so I donˇt worry。 Why donˇt you not worry； and read when you relax the way you always did？〃
¨Iˇm going to sleep tonight。 After we anchor Iˇll read and then sleep。 Weˇve gained four days on them； though it does not show。 Now we must search carefully。〃
¨We will get them or we will drive them into other peopleˇs hands；〃 Ara said。 ¨What difference does it make？ We have our pride but we have another pride people know nothing of。〃
¨That is what I had forgotten；〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨It is a pride without vanity；〃 Ara continued。 ¨Failure is its brother and shit is its sister and death is its wife。〃
¨It must be a big pride。〃
¨It is；〃 Ara said。 ¨You must not forget it； Tom； and you must not destroy yourself。 Everyone in the ship has that pride； including Peters。 Although I do not like Peters。〃
¨Thanks for telling me；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨I feel fuck…all discouraged about things sometimes。〃
¨Tom；〃 Ara said。 ¨All a man has is pride。 Sometimes you have it so much it is a sin。 We have all done things for pride that we knew were Impossible。 We didnˇt care。 But a man must implement his pride with intelligence and care。 Now that you have ceased to be careful of yourself I must ask you to be； please。 For us and for the ship。〃
¨Who is us？〃
¨All of us。〃
¨OK；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Ask for your dark glasses。〃
¨Tom； please understand。〃
¨I understand。 Thanks very much。 Iˇll eat a hearty supper and sleep like a child。〃
Ara did not think it was funny and he always thought funny things were funny。
¨You try it； Tom；〃 he said。
VII
THEY ANCHORED IN THE LEE of Cayo Cruz in the sandy bight between the two keys。
¨Weˇll put out another anchor to lay here；〃 Thomas Hudson called to his mate。 ¨I donˇt like this bottom。〃
The mate shrugged his shoulders and bent down to the second anchor and Thomas Hudson eased her ahead against the tide； watching the grass from the banks riding by in the current。 He came astern until his second anchor was well dug in。 The boat lay with her bow into the wind and the tide running past her。 There was much wind even in this lee and he knew that when the tide changed she would swing broadside to the swell。
¨The hell with it；〃 he said。 ¨Let her roll。〃
But his mate had lowered the dinghy already and they were running out a stern anchor。 Thomas Hudson watched them drop the little Danforth where it would hold her into the wind when the tide came aflood。
¨Why donˇt you put out a couple more？〃 he called。 ¨Then maybe we could sell her for a goddam spider。〃
The mate grinned at him。
¨Get the outboard on her。 Iˇm going in。〃
¨No； Tom；〃 his mate said。 ¨Let Ara and Willie go in。 Iˇll take them in and another party to M？gano。 Do you want them to take the ni？os？〃
¨No。 Be scientists。〃
Iˇm accepting a lot of handling； he thought。 That must mean I really do need some rest。 The thing is I am neither tired nor sleepy。
¨Antonio；〃 he said。
¨Yes；〃 said his mate。
¨Iˇll take the air mattress and two cushions and a big drink。〃
¨What kind of drink？〃
¨Gin and coconut water with Angostura and lime。〃
¨A Tomini？〃 his mate said； pleased that he was drinking again。
¨Double quantity。〃
Henry threw the air mattress up and climbed after it with a book and a magazine。
¨Youˇre out of the wind here；〃 he said。 ¨Do you want me to open any of this canvas for ventilation？〃
¨Since when did I rate all this？〃
¨Tom； we talked of it and we all agreed that you need some rest。 Youˇve been driving yourself past what a man can stand。 You are past it now。〃
¨Shit；〃 said Thomas Hudson。
¨Maybe；〃 said Henry。 ¨I said I thought you were OK and
