hemingway, ernest - islands in the stream-第44节
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。 On the way up； Thomas Hudson sat in the front seat with the chauffeur and the two of them sat in back。 Thomas Hudson saw a small part of the Holy Land and a small part of the T。 E。 Lawrence country and many cold hills and much desert on the way up； and on the way back they sat in the back and the Prince sat in front with the chauffeur。 Thomas Hudson saw the back of the Princeˇs head and the back of the chauffeurˇs head on the return trip and he remembered now that the road from Damascus to Haifa； where the ship was anchored in the harbor； runs down a river。 There is a steep gorge in the river but it is very small as it would be on a small…scale relief map and in the gorge there is an island。 He remembered the island better than anything on the trip。
The trip to Damascus did not help much and when they had left Haifa and the ship was headed out across the Mediterranean and they were up on the boat deck； that was cold now with a northeast wind； that was making a sea that the ship was beginning to buck slowly； she said to him； ¨We have to do something。〃
¨Do you like understatement？〃
¨No。 I want to go to bed and stay in it for a week。〃
¨A week doesnˇt sound very long。〃
¨A month then。 But we have to do it right away and right away we canˇt。〃
¨We can go down to the Baronˇs cabin。〃
¨No。 I do not want to do it until we can do it really without worrying。〃
¨How do you feel now？〃
¨As though I were going crazy and were already quite a way there 。。。〃
¨In Paris we can make love in a bed。〃
¨But how do I get away？ I have no experience of how to get away。〃
¨You go shopping。〃
¨But I have to go shopping with someone。〃
¨You can go shopping with someone。 Have you no one you can trust？〃
¨Oh yes。 But I so much did not want to ever have to do that。〃
¨Donˇt do it then。〃
¨No。 I must。 I know I must。 But that does not make it better。〃
¨Were you never unfaithful to him before？〃
¨No。 And I thought I never would be。 But now it is all that I want to do。 But it hurts me that anyone should know。〃
¨Weˇll figure out something。〃
¨Please put your arm around me and hold me very close against you；〃 she said。 ¨Please let us not talk； nor think； nor worry。 Please just hold your arm tight and love me very much because I ache now everywhere。〃
After a while he said to her； ¨Look； whenever you do this it is going to be as bad for you as now。 You donˇt want to be unfaithful and you donˇt want anyone to know。 But it will be like that whenever it happens。〃
¨I want to do it。 But I donˇt want to hurt him。 I have to do it。 Itˇs not in my hands any more。〃
¨Then do it。 Now。〃
¨But itˇs terribly dangerous now。〃
¨Do you think there is anyone on this ship that sees us and hears us and knows us that thinks we have not slept together？ Do you think the things we have done are any different from that？〃
¨Oh； of course they are different。 There is all the difference。 We couldnˇt have a baby from what we have done。〃
¨Youˇre wonderful；〃 he had said。 ¨You really are。〃
¨But if we have a baby Iˇll be glad。 He wants a baby very much and we never have one。 Iˇll sleep with him right away and heˇll never know it is ours。〃
¨I wouldnˇt sleep with him right away。〃
¨No I suppose not。 But the next night。〃
¨How long since you slept with him？〃
¨Oh I sleep with him every night。 I have to； Hudson。 I get so excited I have to。 I think thatˇs one reason he plays bridge until so late now。 Heˇd like me to be asleep when he comes in。 I think he is getting a little tired since we have been in love。〃
¨Is this the first time you have ever been in love since you married him？〃
¨No。 I am sorry。 But it is not。 I have been in love several times。 But I have never been unfaithful to him or even considered it。 He is so good and nice and such a good husband and I like him so much and he loves me and is always kind to me。〃
¨I think we had better go down to the Ritz and have some champagne；〃 Thomas Hudson had said。 His feelings were becoming very mixed。
The Ritz was deserted and a waiter brought them the wine at one of the tables against the wall。 They kept the Perrier…Jouet Brut （1915） on ice all of the time now and simply asked； ¨The same wine； Mr。 Hudson？〃
They raised their glasses to each other and the Princess said； ¨I love this wine。 Donˇt you？〃
¨Very much。〃
¨What are you thinking about？〃
¨You。〃
¨Naturally。 All I think about is you。 But what about me？〃
¨I was thinking we should go down to my cabin now。 We talk too much and fool around too much and do nothing。 What time have you？〃
¨Ten after eleven。〃
¨What time have you？〃 he called to the wine steward。
¨Eleven…fifteen； sir。〃 The steward looked at the clock inside the bar。
When the steward was out of earshot； he asked； ¨How late will he play bridge？〃
¨He said he would play late and for me not to stay awake for him。〃
¨Weˇll finish the wine and go to the cabin。 I have some there。〃
¨But Hudson； it is very dangerous。〃
¨It will always be dangerous；〃 Thomas Hudson had said。 ¨But not doing it is getting to be a damned sight more dangerous。〃
That night he made love to her three times and when he took her to her cabin； she had said that he shouldnˇt and he had said it would look much sounder if he did； the Prince was still playing bridge。 Thomas Hudson had gone back to the Ritz； where the bar was still open； and ordered another bottle of the same wine and read the papers that had come aboard at Haifa。 He realized that it was the first time he had had time to read the papers in a long time and he felt very relaxed and very happy to be reading the papers。 When the bridge game broke up and the Prince came by and looked into the Ritz； Thomas Hudson asked him to have a glass of wine before he went to bed and he liked the Prince more than ever and felt a strong kinship with him。
He and the Baron had got off the ship at Marseilles。 Most of the others were going on for the rest of the cruise； which finished at Southampton。 In Marseilles he and the Baron were sitting at a sidewalk restaurant in the Vieux Port eating moules marin？s and drinking a carafe of vin ros？。 Thomas Hudson was very hungry and he remembered that he had been hungry most of the time ever since they had left Haifa。
He was damned hungry now； too； he thought。 Where the hell were those servants？ At least one should have shown up。 It was blowing colder than ever outside。 It reminded him of the cold day there on the steep street in Marseilles that ran down to the port； sitting at the caf？ table with their coat collars up eating the moules out of the thin black shells you lifted from the hot； peppery milk broth with hot melted butter floating in it； drinking the wine from Tavel that tasted the way Provence looked； and watching the wind blow the skirts of the fisherwomen； the cruise passengers and the ill…dressed whores of the port as they climbed the steep cobbled street with the mistral lashing at them。
¨You have been a very naughty boy；〃 the Baron had said。 ¨Very naughty indeed。〃
¨Do you want some more moules？〃
¨No。 I want something solid。〃
¨Shouldnˇt we have a bouillabaisse； too？〃
¨Two soups？〃
¨Iˇm hungry。 And we wonˇt be here again for a long time。〃
¨I should think you might be hungry。 Good。 Weˇll have a bouillabaisse and then a good Ch？teaubriand very rare。 Iˇll build you up； you bastard。ˇ〃
¨What are you going to do？〃
¨The question is what are you going to do。 Do you love her？〃
¨No。〃
¨Thatˇs much better。 It is better for you to leave now。 Much better。〃
¨I promised to spend some time with them for the fishing。〃
¨If it were the shooting it might be worthwhile；〃 the Baron had said。 ¨The fishing is very cold and very unpleasant and she has no business to make a fool of her husband。〃
¨He must know about it。〃
¨He does not。 He knows she is in love with you。 That is all。 You are a gentleman so whatever you do is all right。 But she has no business to make a fool of her husband。 You wouldnˇt marry her； would you？〃
¨No。〃
¨She couldnˇt marry you anyway and there is no need that he should be made unhappy unless you are in love with her。〃
¨Iˇm not。 I know that now。〃
¨Then I think you should get out。〃
¨Iˇm quite sure that I should。〃
¨Iˇm so glad that you agree。 Now tell me truly； how is she？〃
¨Sheˇs very well。〃
¨Donˇt be silly。 I knew her mother。 You should have known her mother。〃
¨Iˇm sorry I didnˇt。〃
¨You should be。 I donˇt know how you got yourself mixed up with such good dull people。 You donˇt need her for your painting or anything like that； do you？〃
¨No。 Thatˇs not the way itˇs done。 I like her very much。 I still like her。 But Iˇm not in love with her and itˇs getting very complicated。〃
¨Iˇm so glad that you agree。 Now where do you think that you will go？〃
¨Weˇve just come from Africa。〃
¨Exactly。 Why donˇt you go to Cuba for a while or the Bahamas？ I could join you if I get hold of any money at home。〃
¨Do you think you will get any money at home？〃
¨No。〃
¨I think I w
