hemingway, ernest - islands in the stream-第43节
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nd the catnip that you raised in the garden had no force at all。 I wish we noncats had something that was as harmless as catnip that would have as much effect； he thought。 Why donˇt we have something like that we can get drunk on？
The cats were very odd about catnip。 Boise； Willy； Goats； Friendlessˇs Brother； Littless； Furhouse； and Taskforce were all addicts。 Princessa； which was the name the servants had given Baby； the blue Persian； would never touch catnip； neither would Uncle Woolfie； the gray Persian。 With Uncle Woolfie； who was as stupid as he was beautiful； it could have been stupidity or insularity。 Uncle Woolfie would never try anything new and would sniff cautiously at any new food until the other cats had taken it all and he was left with nothing。 But Princessa； who was the grandmother of all the cats and was intelligent； delicate； high…principled； aristocratic； and most loving； was afraid of the odor of catnip and fled from it as though it were a vice。 Princessa was such a delicate and aristocratic cat； smoke gray； with golden eyes and beautiful manners； and such a great dignity that her periods of being in heat were like an introduction to； and explanation and finally exposition of； all the scandals of royal houses。 Since he had seen Princessa in heat； not the first tragic time； but after she was grown and beautiful； and so suddenly changed from all her dignity and poise into wantonness； Thomas Hudson knew that he did not want to die without having made love to a princess as lovely as Princessa。
She must be as grave and as delicate and as beautiful as Princessa before they were in love and made the love and then be as shameless and as wanton in their bed as Princessa was。 He dreamed about this princess sometimes in the nights and nothing that could ever happen could be any better than the dreams were but he wanted it actually and truly and he was quite sure he would have it if there were any such princess。
The trouble was that the only princess that he had ever made love to outside of Italian princesses； who did not count； was quite a plain girl with thickish ankles and not very good legs。 She had a lovely northern skin； though； and shining well…brushed hair and he liked her face and her eyes and he liked her and her hand felt good in his hand when they stood by the rail going through the Canal coming up onto the lights of Ismailia。 They liked each other very much and they were already close to being in love； close enough so that she had to be careful about the tone of their voices when they were with other people； and close enough so that； now； when they were holding each otherˇs hands in the dark against the rail he could feel what there was between them with no doubt about it at all。 Feeling this and being sure； he had spoken to her about it and had asked her something since they made a great thing about being completely frank with each other about everything。
¨I would like to very much；〃 she said。 ¨As you know。 But I cannot。 As you know。〃
¨But there is some way；〃 Thomas Hudson had said。 ¨Thereˇs always some way。〃
¨You mean in a lifeboat？〃 she said。 ¨I wouldnˇt want it in a lifeboat。〃
¨Look；〃 he said and he put his hand on her breast and felt it rise； alive； against his fingers。
¨That is nice；〃 she interrupted。 ¨There are two of them you know。〃
¨I know。〃
¨Thatˇs very nice；〃 she said。 ¨You know I love you； Hudson。 I just found out today。〃
¨How？〃
¨Oh I just found out。 It wasnˇt terribly difficult。 Didnˇt you find out anything？〃
¨I didnˇt have to find out anything；〃 he lied。
¨Thatˇs good；〃 she said。 ¨But the lifeboat is no good。 Your cabin is no good。 My cabin is no good。〃
¨We could go to the Baronˇs cabin。〃
¨Thereˇs someone always in the Baronˇs cabin。 The wicked Baron。 Isnˇt it nice to have a wicked Baron just as in olden times？〃
¨Yes；〃 he said。 ¨But I could make sure there would be no one there。〃
¨No。 Thatˇs no good。 Just love me very hard now just the way you are。 Feel that you love me all you can and do what you are doing。〃
He did and then he did something else。
¨No；〃 she said。 ¨Donˇt do that。 I couldnˇt stand that？〃
She did something then and said； ¨Can you stand that？〃
¨Yes。〃
¨Good。 Iˇll hold there very good。 No。 Donˇt kiss me。 If you kiss me here on deck then we might as well have done everything else。〃
¨Why donˇt we do everything else？〃
¨Where； Hudson？ Where？ Tell me in this life about where？〃
¨Iˇll tell you about why。〃
¨I know all about why。 Where is the problem。〃
¨I love you very much。〃
¨Oh yes。 I love you； too。 And no good will come of it； except we love each other which is good。〃
He did something then and she said； ¨Please。 If you do that I have to go。〃
¨Letˇs sit down。〃
¨No。 Letˇs stand up just as we are here。〃
¨Do you like what you are doing？〃
¨Yes。 I love it。 Do you mind？〃
¨No。 But it doesnˇt go on forever。〃
¨All right；〃 she said and she turned her head and kissed him quickly and then looked out again across the desert they were sliding by in the night。 It was winter and the night was cool and they stood close together looking straight out。 ¨You can do it； then。 A mink coat is good for something finally in the tropics。 You wonˇt before me？〃
¨No。〃
¨You promise？〃
¨Yes。〃
¨Oh Hudson。 Please。 Please now。〃
¨You？〃
¨Oh yes。 Any time with you。 Now。 Now。 Oh yes。 Now。〃
¨Really now？〃
¨Oh yes。 Believe me now。〃
Afterwards they stood there and the lights were much closer and the bank of the canal and the distance beyond was still sliding by。
¨Now are you ashamed of me？〃 she asked。
¨No。 I love you very much。〃
¨But itˇs bad for you and I was selfish。〃
¨No。 I donˇt think it is bad for me。 And youˇre not selfish。〃
¨Donˇt think it was a waste。 It wasnˇt a waste。 Truly not for me。〃
¨Then it wasnˇt a waste。 Kiss me； will you？〃
¨No。 I canˇt。 Just hold your hand against me tight。〃
Later she said； ¨You donˇt mind how fond I am of him？〃
¨No。 Heˇs very proud。〃
¨Let me tell you a secret。〃
She told him a secret that did not come to him as a great surprise。
¨Is that very wicked？〃
¨No；〃 he said。 ¨Thatˇs jolly。〃
¨Oh Hudson；〃 she said。 ¨I love you very much。 Please go and make yourself comfortable in every way and then come back to me here。 Should we have a bottle of champagne at the Ritz？〃
¨That would be lovely。 What about your husband？〃
¨Heˇs still playing bridge。 I can see him through the window。 After he finishes he will look for us and join us。〃
So they had gone to the Ritz which was at the stern of the ship and had a bottle of Perrier…Jouet Brut 1915 and then another one and after a while the Prince had joined them。 The Prince was very nice and Hudson liked him。 They had been hunting in East Africa； as he had been； and he had met them at the Muthaiga Club and at Torrˇs in Nairobi and they had taken the same boat from Mombasa。 The ship was a round…the…world cruise ship which made a stop at Mombasa en route for Suez； the Mediterranean； and eventually Southampton。 It was a super luxury ship where all the cabins were private suites。 It had been sold out for the world cruise as ships were in those years but some of the passengers had left the ship in India and one of those men who know about everything had told Thomas Hudson in the Muthaiga Club that the ship was coming in with several vacancies and that passage on her might be had quite reasonably。 He had told the Prince and Princess； who had not enjoyed flying out to Kenya in those times when the Handley Pages were so slow and the flight so long and tiresome； and they had been delighted with the idea of the trip and the rates。
¨Weˇll have such a jolly trip and youˇre a wonderful chap to have found out about it；〃 the Prince had said。 ¨Iˇll ring them up about it in the morning。〃
It had been a jolly trip； too； with the Indian Ocean blue and the ship coming out slowly from the new harbor and then Africa was behind them； and the old white town with the great trees and all the green behind it； then the sea breaking on the long reef as they passed and then the ship gained speed and was in the open ocean and flying fish were splitting out of the water and ahead of the ship。 Africa dropped to a long blue line behind them and a steward was beating on a gong and he and the Prince and the Princess and the Baron； who was an old friend and lived out there and was really wicked； were having a dry martini in the bar。
¨Pay no attention to that gong and weˇll lunch in the Ritz；〃 the Baron said。 ¨Do you agree？〃
He had not slept with the princess on the ship although by the time they had reached Haifa they had done so many other things that they had both reached a sort of ecstasy of desperation that was so intense that they should have been required by law to sleep with each other until they could not stand it another time simply for the relief of their nerves； if for no other reason。 Instead； from Haifa they made a motor trip to Damascus。 On the way up； Thomas Hudson sat in the front seat with the chauffeur and the two of them sat in b
