passages from an old volume of life-第24节
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at I was not one of the exceptional kind。 I had tendencies in the direction of flageolets and octave flutes。 I had a pistol and a gun； and popped at everything that stirred； pretty nearly； except the house…cat。 Worse than this； I would buy a cigar and smoke it by instalments； putting it meantime in the barrel of my pistol； by a stroke of ingenuity which it gives me a grim pleasure to recall； for no maternal or other female eyes would explore the cavity of that dread implement in search of contraband commodities。
It was settled； then； that I should go to Phillips Academy； and preparations were made that I might join the school at the beginning of the autumn。
In due time I took my departure in the old carriage； a little modernized from the pattern of my Lady Bountiful's； and we jogged soberly along；kind parents and slightly nostalgic boy；towards the seat of learning； some twenty miles away。 Up the old West Cambridge road； now North Avenue； past Davenport's tavern； with its sheltering tree and swinging sign； past the old powder…house； looking like a colossal conical ball set on end； past the old Tidd House； one of the finest of the ante…Revolutionary mansions； past Miss Swan's great square boarding…school； where the music of girlish laughter was ringing through the windy corridors； so on to Stoneham； town of the bright lake； then darkened with the recent memory of the barbarous murder done by its lonely shore； through pleasant Reading； with its oddly named village centres； 〃Trapelo；〃 〃Read'nwoodeend；〃 as rustic speech had it； and the rest； through Wilmington； then renowned for its hops； so at last into the hallowed borders of the academic town。
It was a shallow； two…story white house before which we stopped； just at the entrance of the central village； the residence of a very worthy professor in the theological seminary；learned； amiable； exemplary； but thought by certain experts to be a little questionable in the matter of homoousianism； or some such doctrine。 There was a great rock that showed its round back in the narrow front yard。 It looked cold and hard； but it hinted firmness and indifference to the sentiments fast struggling to get uppermost in my youthful bosom； for I was not too old for home…sickness；who is： The carriage and my fond companions had to leave me at last。 I saw it go down the declivity that sloped southward； then climb the next ascent； then sink gradually until the window in the back of it disappeared like an eye that shuts； and leaves the world dark to some widowed heart。
Sea…sickness and home…sickness are hard to deal with by any remedy but time。 Mine was not a bad case； but it excited sympathy。 There was an ancient； faded old lady in the house； very kindly； but very deaf； rustling about in dark autumnal foliage of silk or other murmurous fabric； somewhat given to snuff； but a very worthy gentlewoman of the poor…relation variety。 She comforted me； I well remember； but not with apples； and stayed me； but not with flagons。 She went in her benevolence； and； taking a blue and white soda… powder； mingled the same in water； and encouraged me to drink the result。 It might be a specific for seasickness； but it was not for home…sickness。 The fiz was a mockery； and the saline refrigerant struck a colder chill to my despondent heart。 I did not disgrace myself； however； and a few days cured me； as a week on the water often cures seasickness。
There was a sober…faced boy of minute dimensions in the house； who began to make some advances to me； and who； in spite of all the conditions surrounding him； turned out； on better acquaintance； to be one of the most amusing； free…spoken； mocking little imps I ever met in my life。 My room…mate came later。 He was the son of a clergyman in a neighboring town；in fact I may remark that I knew a good many clergymen's sons at Andover。 He and I went in harness together as well as most boys do； I suspect； and I have no grudge against him； except that once； when I was slightly indisposed； he administered to me；with the best intentions； no doubt；a dose of Indian pills； which effectually knocked me out of time； as Mr。 Morrissey would say；not quite into eternity； but so near it that I perfectly remember one of the good ladies told me （after I had come to my senses a little； and was just ready for a sip of cordial and a word of encouragement）； with that delightful plainness of speech which so brings realities home to the imagination； that 〃I never should look any whiter when I was laid out as a corpse。〃 After my room…mate and I had been separated twenty…five years； fate made us fellow…townsmen and acquaintances once more in Berkshire； and now again we are close literary neighbors； for I have just read a very pleasant article； signed by him； in the last number of the 〃Galaxy。〃 Does it not sometimes seem as if we were all marching round and round in a circle； like the supernumeraries who constitute the 〃army〃 of a theatre； and that each of us meets and is met by the same and only the same people； or their doubles； twice； thrice； or a little oftener； before the curtain drops and the 〃army〃 puts off its borrowed clothes？
The old Academy building had a dreary look； with its flat face； bare and uninteresting as our own 〃University Building〃 at Cambridge； since the piazza which relieved its monotony was taken away； and； to balance the ugliness thus produced； the hideous projection was added to 〃Harvard Hall。〃 Two masters sat at the end of the great room； the principal and his assistant。 Two others presided in separate rooms； one of them the late Rev。 Samuel Horatio Stearns； an excellent and lovable man； who looked kindly on me； and for whom I always cherished a sincere regard； a clergyman's son； too； which privilege I did not always find the warrant of signal virtues； but no matter about that here； and I have promised myself to be amiable。
On the side of the long room was a large clock…dial； bearing these words：
YOUTH IS THE SEED…TIME OF LIFE。
I had indulged in a prejudice； up to that hour； that youth was the budding time of life； and this clock…dial； perpetually twitting me with its seedy moral； always had a forbidding look to my vernal apprehension。
I was put into a seat with an older and much bigger boy； or youth； with a fuliginous complexion； a dilating and whitening nostril； and a singularly malignant scowl。 Many years afterwards he committed an act of murderous violence； and ended by going to finish his days in a madhouse。 His delight was to kick my shins with all his might； under the desk； not at all as an act of hostility； but as a gratifying and harmless pastime。 Finding this； so far as I was concerned； equally devoid of pleasure and profit； I managed to get a seat by another boy； the son of a very distinguished divine。 He was bright enough； and more select in his choice of recreations； at least during school hours； than my late homicidal neighbor。 But the principal called me up presently； and cautioned me against him as a dangerous companion。 Could it be so？ If the son of that boy's father could not be trusted； what boy in Christendom could？ It seemed like the story of the youth doomed to be slain by a lion before reaching a certain age； and whose fate found him out in the heart of the tower where his father had shut him up for safety。 Here was I； in the very dove's nest of Puritan faith； and out of one of its eggs a serpent had been hatched and was trying to nestle in my bosom！ I parted from him； however； none the worse for his companionship so far as I can remember。
Of the boys who were at school with me at Andover one has acquired great distinction among the scholars of the land。 One day I observed a new boy in a seat not very far from my own。 He was a little fellow； as I recollect him； with black hair and very bright black eyes； when at length I got a chance to look at them。 Of all the new… comers during my whole year he was the only one whom the first glance fixed in my memory； but there he is now； at this moment； just as he caught my eye on the morning of his entrance。 His head was between his hands （I wonder if he does not sometimes study in that same posture nowadays！） and his eyes were fastened to his book as if he had been reading a will that made him heir to a million。 I feel sure that Professor Horatio Balch Hackett will not find fault with me for writing his name under this inoffensive portrait。 Thousands of faces and forms that I have known more or less familiarly have faded from my remembrance； but this presentment of the youthful student； sitting there entranced over the page of his text…book；the child…father of the distinguished scholar that was to be；is not a picture framed and hung up in my mind's gallery； but a fresco on its walls； there to remain so long as they hold together。
My especial intimate was a fine； rosy…faced boy； not quite so free of speech as myself； perhaps； but with qualities that promised a noble manhood； and ripened into it in due season。 His name was Phinehas Barnes； and； if he is inquired after in Portland or anywhere in the State of Maine； something will be heard to his advantage from any honest and intelligent citizen of that Commonwealth who answers the question。 This was one of
