passages from an old volume of life-第13节
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ich we had once inspected； as seen by the different lights of evening and morning。 After this； we visited the school…house hospital。 A fine young fellow； whose arm had been shattered； was just falling into the spasms of lock…jaw。 The beads of sweat stood large and round on his flushed and contracted features。 He was under the effect of opiates；why not （if his case was desperate； as it seemed to be considered） stop his sufferings with chloroform？ It was suggested that it might shorten life。 〃What then？〃 I said。 〃Are a dozen additional spasms worth living for？〃
The time approached for the train to arrive from Hagerstown； and we went to the station。 I was struck； while waiting there； with what seemed to me a great want of care for the safety of the people standing round。 Just after my companion and myself had stepped off the track； I noticed a car coming quietly along at a walk； as one may say； without engine； without visible conductor； without any person heralding its approach； so silently； so insidiously； that I could not help thinking how very near it came to flattening out me and my match…box worse than the Ravel pantomimist and his snuff…box were flattened out in the play。 The train was late；fifteen minutes； half an hour late； and I began to get nervous； lest something had happened。 While I was looking for it； out started a freight…train； as if on purpose to meet the cars I was expecting； for a grand smash… up。 I shivered at the thought； and asked an employee of the road； with whom I had formed an acquaintance a few minutes old； why there should not be a collision of the expected train with this which was just going out。 He smiled an official smile； and answered that they arranged to prevent that； or words to that effect。
Twenty…four hours had not passed from that moment when a collision did occur； just out of the city； where I feared it； by which at least eleven persons were killed； and from forty to sixty more were maimed and crippled！
To…day there was the delay spoken of； but nothing worse。 The expected train came in so quietly that I was almost startled to see it on the track。 Let us walk calmly through the cars； and look around us。
In the first car； on the fourth seat to the right； I saw my Captain； there saw I him； even my first…born； whom I had sought through many cities。
〃How are you； Boy？〃
〃How are you； Dad？〃
Such are the proprieties of life； as they are observed among us Anglo…Saxons of the nineteenth century； decently disguising those natural impulses that made Joseph； the Prime Minister of Egypt； weep aloud so that the Egyptians and the house of Pharaoh heard； nay； which had once overcome his shaggy old uncle Esau so entirely that he fell on his brother's neck and cried like a baby in the presence of all the women。 But the hidden cisterns of the soul may be filling fast with sweet tears； while the windows through which it looks are undimmed by a drop or a film of moisture。
These are times in which we cannot live solely for selfish joys or griefs。 I had not let fall the hand I held； when a sad； calm voice addressed me by name。 I fear that at the moment I was too much absorbed in my own feelings； for certainly at any other time。 I should have yielded myself without stint to the sympathy which this meeting might well call forth。
〃You remember my son； Cortland Saunders； whom I brought to see you once in Boston？〃
〃I do remember him well。〃
〃He was killed on Monday； at Shepherdstown。 I am carrying his body back with me on this train。 He was my only child。 If you could come to my house；I can hardly call it my home now；it would be a pleasure to me。〃
This young man； belonging in Philadelphia； was the author of a 〃New System of Latin Paradigms；〃 a work showing extraordinary scholarship and capacity。 It was this book which first made me acquainted with him； and I kept him in my memory； for there was genius in the youth。 Some time afterwards he came to me with a modest request to be introduced to President Felton； and one or two others； who would aid him in a course of independent study he was proposing to himself。 I was most happy to smooth the way for him； and he came repeatedly after this to see me and express his satisfaction in the opportunities for study he enjoyed at Cambridge。 He was a dark； still； slender person； always with a trance…like remoteness； a mystic dreaminess of manner； such as I never saw in any other youth。 Whether he heard with difficulty； or whether his mind reacted slowly on an alien thought； I could not say； but his answer would often be behind time； and then a vague； sweet smile； or a few words spoken under his breath； as if he had been trained in sick men's chambers。 For such a young man； seemingly destined for the inner life of contemplation； to be a soldier seemed almost unnatural。 Yet he spoke to me of his intention to offer himself to his country； and his blood must now be reckoned among the precious sacrifices which will make her soil sacred forever。 Had he lived； I doubt not that he would have redeemed the rare promise of his earlier years。 He has done better； for he has died that unborn generations may attain the hopes held out to our nation and to mankind。
So； then； I had been within ten miles of the place where my wounded soldier was lying； and then calmly turned my back upon him to come once more round by a journey of three or four hundred miles to the same region I had left！ No mysterious attraction warned me that the heart warm with the same blood as mine was throbbing so near my own。 I thought of that lovely； tender passage where Gabriel glides unconsciously by Evangeline upon the great river。 Ah； me！ if that railroad crash had been a few hours earlier； we two should never have met again； after coming so close to each other！
The source of my repeated disappointments was soon made clear enough。 The Captain had gone to Hagerstown； intending to take the cars at once for Philadelphia； as his three friends actually did； and as I took it for granted he certainly would。 But as he walked languidly along； some ladies saw him across the street； and seeing； were moved with pity； and pitying； spoke such soft words that he was tempted to accept their invitation and rest awhile beneath their hospitable roof。 The mansion was old； as the dwellings of gentlefolks should be； the ladies were some of them young； and all were full of kindness； there were gentle cares； and unasked luxuries； and pleasant talk； and music…sprinklings from the piano； with a sweet voice to keep them company；and all this after the swamps of the Chickahominy； the mud and flies of Harrison's Landing； the dragging marches； the desperate battles； the fretting wound； the jolting ambulance； the log…house； and the rickety milkcart！ Thanks； uncounted thanks to the angelic ladies whose charming attentions detained him from Saturday to Thursday； to his great advantage and my infinite bewilderment！ As for his wound； how could it do otherwise than well under such hands？ The bullet had gone smoothly through； dodging everything but a few nervous branches； which would come right in time and leave him as well as ever。
At ten that evening we were in Philadelphia； the Captain at the house of the friends so often referred to； and I the guest of Charley； my kind companion。 The Quaker element gives an irresistible attraction to these benignant Philadelphia households。 Many things reminded me that I was no longer in the land of the Pilgrims。 On the table were Kool Slaa and Schmeer Kase； but the good grandmother who dispensed with such quiet； simple grace these and more familiar delicacies was literally ignorant of Baked Beans； and asked if it was the Lima bean which was employed in that marvellous dish of animalized leguminous farina！
Charley was pleased with my comparing the face of the small Ethiop known to his household as 〃Tines〃 to a huckleberry with features。 He also approved my parallel between a certain German blonde young maiden whom we passed in the street and the 〃Morris White〃 peach。 But he was so good…humored at times； that； if one scratched a lucifer； he accepted it as an illumination。
A day in Philadelphia left a very agreeable impression of the outside of that great city； which has endeared itself so much of late to all the country by its most noble and generous care of our soldiers。 Measured by its sovereign hotel； the Continental； it would stand at the head of our economic civilization。 It provides for the comforts and conveniences； and many of the elegances of life； more satisfactorily than any American city； perhaps than any other city anywhere。 Many of its characteristics are accounted for to some extent by its geographical position。 It is the great neutral centre of the Continent； where the fiery enthusiasms of the South and the keen fanaticisms of the North meet at their outer limits； and result in a compound which neither turns litmus red nor turmeric brown。 It lives largely on its traditions； of which； leaving out Franklin and Independence Hall； the most imposing must be considered its famous water…works。 In my younger days I visited Fairmount； and it was with a pious reverence that I renewed my pilgrimage to that perennial fountain。 Its watery
