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blazing out of the upper windows。 It struck me as a peculiarity

that the laborers at the forge and those who brought fuel to the

engine; when they began to draw short breath; positively emitted

smoke from their mouth and nostrils。



Among the idlers about the train; most of whom were puffing

cigars which they had lighted at the flame of the crater; I was

perplexed to notice several who; to my certain knowledge; had

heretofore set forth by railroad for the Celestial City。 They

looked dark; wild; and smoky; with a singular resemblance;

indeed; to the native inhabitants; like whom; also; they had a

disagreeable propensity to ill…natured gibes and sneers; the

habit of which had wrought a settled contortion of their visages。

Having been on speaking terms with one of these persons;an

indolent; good…for…nothing fellow; who went by the name of

Take…it…easy;I called him; and inquired what was his business

there。



〃Did you not start;〃 said I; 〃for the Celestial City?〃



〃That's a fact;〃 said Mr。 Take…it…easy; carelessly puffing some

smoke into my eyes。 〃But I heard such bad accounts that I never

took pains to climb the hill on which the city stands。 No

business doing; no fun going on; nothing to drink; and no smoking

allowed; and a thrumming of church music from morning till night。

I would not stay in such a place if they offered me house room

and living free。〃



〃But; my good Mr。 Take…it…easy;〃 cried I; 〃why take up your

residence here; of all places in the world?〃



〃Oh;〃 said the loafer; with a grin; 〃it is very warm hereabouts;

and I meet with plenty of old acquaintances; and altogether the

place suits me。 I hope to see you back again some day soon。 A

pleasant journey to you。〃



While he was speaking the bell of the engine rang; and we dashed

away after dropping a few passengers; but receiving no new ones。

Rattling onward through the Valley; we were dazzled with the

fiercely gleaming gas lamps; as before。 But sometimes; in the

dark of intense brightness; grim faces; that bore the aspect and

expression of individual sins; or evil passions; seemed to thrust

themselves through the veil of light; glaring upon us; and

stretching forth a great; dusky hand; as if to impede our

progress。 I almost thought that they were my own sins that

appalled me there。 These were freaks of imaginationnothing

more; certainly…mere delusions; which I ought to be heartily

ashamed of; but all through the Dark Valley I was tormented; and

pestered; and dolefully bewildered with the same kind of waking

dreams。 The mephitic gases of that region intoxicate the brain。

As the light of natural day; however; began to struggle with the

glow of the lanterns; these vain imaginations lost their

vividness; and finally vanished from the first ray of sunshine

that greeted our escape from the Valley of the Shadow of Death。

Ere we had gone a mile beyond it I could well…nigh have taken my

oath that this whole gloomy passage was a dream。



At the end of the valley; as John Bunyan mentions; is a cavern;

where; in his days; dwelt two cruel giants; Pope and Pagan; who

had strown the ground about their residence with the bones of

slaughtered pilgrims。 These vile old troglodytes are no longer

there; but into their deserted cave another terrible giant has

thrust himself; and makes it his business to seize upon honest

travellers and fatten them for his table with plentiful meals of

smoke; mist; moonshine; raw potatoes; and sawdust。 He is a German

by birth; and is called Giant Transcendentalist; but as to his

form; his features; his substance; and his nature generally; it

is the chief peculiarity of this huge miscreant that neither he

for himself; nor anybody for him; has ever been able to describe

them。 As we rushed by the cavern's mouth we caught a hasty

glimpse of him; looking somewhat like an ill…proportioned figure;

but considerably more like a heap of fog and duskiness。 He

shouted after us; but in so strange a phraseology that we knew

not what he meant; nor whether to be encouraged or affrighted。



It was late in the day when the train thundered into the ancient

city of Vanity; where Vanity Fair is still at the height of

prosperity; and exhibits an epitome of whatever is brilliant;

gay; and fascinating beneath the sun。 As I purposed to make a

considerable stay here; it gratified me to learn that there is no

longer the want of harmony between the town's…people and

pilgrims; which impelled the former to such lamentably mistaken

measures as the persecution of Christian and the fiery martyrdom

of Faithful。 On the contrary; as the new railroad brings with it

great trade and a constant influx of strangers; the lord of

Vanity Fair is its chief patron; and the capitalists of the city

are among the largest stockholders。 Many passengers stop to take

their pleasure or make their profit in the Fair; instead of going

onward to the Celestial City。 Indeed; such are the charms of the

place that people often affirm it to be the true and only heaven;

stoutly contending that there is no other; that those who seek

further are mere dreamers; and that; if the fabled brightness of

the Celestial City lay but a bare mile beyond the gates of

Vanity; they would not be fools enough to go thither。 Without

subscribing to these perhaps exaggerated encomiums; I can truly

say that my abode in the city was mainly agreeable; and my

intercourse with the inhabitants productive of much amusement and

instruction。



Being naturally of a serious turn; my attention was directed to

the solid advantages derivable from a residence here; rather than

to the effervescent pleasures which are the grand object with too

many visitants。 The Christian reader; if he have had no accounts

of the city later than Bunyan's time; will be surprised to hear

that almost every street has its church; and that the reverend

clergy are nowhere held in higher respect than at Vanity Fair。

And well do they deserve such honorable estimation; for the

maxims of wisdom and virtue which fall from their lips come from

as deep a spiritual source; and tend to as lofty a religious aim;

as those of the sagest philosophers of old。 In justification of

this high praise I need only mention the names of the Rev。 Mr。

Shallow…deep; the Rev。 Mr。 Stumble…at…truth; that fine old

clerical character the Rev。 Mr。 This…today; who expects shortly

to resign his pulpit to the Rev。 Mr。 That…tomorrow; together with

the Rev。 Mr。 Bewilderment; the Rev。 Mr。 Clog…the…spirit; and;

last and greatest; the Rev。 Dr。 Wind…of…doctrine。 The labors of

these eminent divines are aided by those of innumerable

lecturers; who diffuse such a various profundity; in all subjects

of human or celestial science; that any man may acquire an

omnigenous erudition without the trouble of even learning to

read。 Thus literature is etherealized by assuming for its medium

the human voice; and knowledge; depositing all its heavier

particles; except; doubtless; its gold becomes exhaled into a

sound; which forthwith steals into the ever…open ear of the

community。 These ingenious methods constitute a sort of

machinery; by which thought and study are done to every person's

hand without his putting himself to the slightest inconvenience

in the matter。 There is another species of machine for the

wholesale manufacture of individual morality。 This excellent

result is effected by societies for all manner of virtuous

purposes; with which a man has merely to connect himself;

throwing; as it were; his quota of virtue into the common stock;

and the president and directors will take care that the aggregate

amount be well applied。 All these; and other wonderful

improvements in ethics; religion; and literature; being made

plain to my comprehension by the ingenious Mr。 Smooth…it…away;

inspired me with a vast admiration of Vanity Fair。



It would fill a volume; in an age of pamphlets; were I to record

all my observations in this great capital of human business and

pleasure。 There was an unlimited range of societythe powerful;

the wise; the witty; and the famous in every walk of life;

princes; presidents; poets; generals; artists; actors; and

philanthropists;all making their own market at the fair; and

deeming no price too exorbitant for such commodities as hit their

fancy。 It was well worth one's while; even if he had no idea of

buying or selling; to loiter through the bazaars and observe the

various sorts of traffic that were going forward。



Some of the purchasers; I thought; made very foolish bargains。

For instance; a young man having inherited a splendid fortune;

laid out a considerable portion of it in the purchase of

diseases; and finally spent all the rest for a heavy lot of

repentance and a suit of rags。 A very pretty girl bartered a

heart as clear as crystal; and which seemed her most valuable

possession; for another jewel of the same kind; but so worn and

defaced as to be utterly wo

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