father goriot(高老头)-第35节

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s　precarious　situation；　he　felt　that　he　could　not　bring　himself　to　renounce　the　pleasures　of　this　extravagant　life；　and　decided　that　he　must　continue　it　at　all　costs。　His　dreams　of　obtaining　a　fortune　appeared　more　and　more　chimerical；　and　the　real　obstacles　grew　more　formidable。　His　initiation　into　the　secrets　of　the　Nucingen　household　had　revealed　to　him　that　if　he　were　to　attempt　to　use　this　love　affair　as　a　means　of　mending　his　fortunes；　he　must　swallow　down　all　sense　of　decency；　and　renounce　all　the　generous　ideas　which　redeem　the　sins　of　youth。　He　had　chosen　this　life　of　apparent　splendor；　but　secretly　gnawed　by　the　canker　worm　of　remorse；　a　life　of　fleeting　pleasure　dearly　paid　for　by　persistent　pain；　like　Le　Distrait　of　La　Bruyere；　he　had　descended　so　far　as　to　make　his　bed　in　a　ditch；　but　（also　like　Le　Distrait）　he　himself　was　uncontaminated　as　yet　by　the　mire　that　stained　his　garments。

〃So　we　have　killed　our　mandarin；　have　we？〃　said　Bianchon　one　day　as　they　left　the　dinner　table。

〃Not　yet；〃　he　answered；　〃but　he　is　at　his　last　gasp。〃

The　medical　student　took　this　for　a　joke；　but　it　was　not　a　jest。　Eugene　had　dined　in　the　house　that　night　for　the　first　time　for　a　long　while；　and　had　looked　thoughtful　during　the　meal。　He　had　taken　his　place　beside　Mlle。　Taillefer；　and　stayed　through　the　dessert；　giving　his　neighbor　an　expressive　glance　from　time　to　time。　A　few　of　the　boarders　discussed　the　walnuts　at　the　table；　and　others　walked　about　the　room；　still　taking　part　in　the　conversation　which　had　begun　among　them。　People　usually　went　when　they　chose；　the　amount　of　time　that　they　lingered　being　determined　by　the　amount　of　interest　that　the　conversation　possessed　for　them；　or　by　the　difficulty　of　the　process　of　digestion。　In　winter…time　the　room　was　seldom　empty　before　eight　o'clock；　when　the　four　women　had　it　all　to　themselves；　and　made　up　for　the　silence　previously　imposed　upon　them　by　the　preponderating　masculine　element。　This　evening　Vautrin　had　noticed　Eugene's　abstractedness；　and　stayed　in　the　room；　though　he　had　seemed　to　be　in　a　hurry　to　finish　his　dinner　and　go。　All　through　the　talk　afterwards　he　had　kept　out　of　the　sight　of　the　law　student；　who　quite　believed　that　Vautrin　had　left　the　room。　He　now　took　up　his　position　cunningly　in　the　sitting…room　instead　of　going　when　the　last　boarders　went。　He　had　fathomed　the　young　man's　thoughts；　and　felt　that　a　crisis　was　at　hand。　Rastignac　was；　in　fact；　in　a　dilemma；　which　many　another　young　man　must　have　known。

Mme。　de　Nucingen　might　love　him；　or　might　merely　be　playing　with　him；　but　in　either　case　Rastignac　had　been　made　to　experience　all　the　alternations　of　hope　and　despair　of　genuine　passion；　and　all　the　diplomatic　arts　of　a　Parisienne　had　been　employed　on　him。　After　compromising　herself　by　continually　appearing　in　public　with　Mme。　de　Beauseant's　cousin　she　still　hesitated；　and　would　not　give　him　the　lover's　privileges　which　he　appeared　to　enjoy。　For　a　whole　month　she　had　so　wrought　on　his　senses；　that　at　last　she　had　made　an　impression　on　his　heart。　If　in　the　earliest　days　the　student　had　fancied　himself　to　be　master；　Mme。　de　Nucingen　had　since　become　the　stronger　of　the　two；　for　she　had　skilfully　roused　and　played　upon　every　instinct；　good　or　bad；　in　the　two　or　three　men　comprised　in　a　young　student　in　Paris。　This　was　not　the　result　of　deep　design　on　her　part；　nor　was　she　playing　a　part；　for　women　are　in　a　manner　true　to　themselves　even　through　their　grossest　deceit；　because　their　actions　are　prompted　by　a　natural　impulse。　It　may　have　been　that　Delphine；　who　had　allowed　this　young　man　to　gain　such　an　ascendency　over　her；　conscious　that　she　had　been　too　demonstrative；　was　obeying　a　sentiment　of　dignity；　and　either　repented　of　her　concessions；　or　it　pleased　her　to　suspend　them。　It　is　so　natural　to　a　Parisienne；　even　when　passion　has　almost　mastered　her；　to　hesitate　and　pause　before　taking　the　plunge；　to　probe　the　heart　of　him　to　whom　she　intrusts　her　future。　And　once　already　Mme。　de　Nucingen's　hopes　had　been　betrayed；　and　her　loyalty　to　a　selfish　young　lover　had　been　despised。　She　had　good　reason　to　be　suspicious。　Or　it　may　have　been　that　something　in　Eugene's　manner　（for　his　rapid　success　was　making　a　coxcomb　of　him）　had　warned　her　that　the　grotesque　nature　of　their　position　had　lowered　her　somewhat　in　his　eyes。　She　doubtless　wished　to　assert　her　dignity；　he　was　young；　and　she　would　be　great　in　his　eyes；　for　the　lover　who　had　forsaken　her　had　held　her　so　cheap　that　she　was　determined　that　Eugene　should　not　think　her　an　easy　conquest；　and　for　this　very　reasonhe　knew　that　de　Marsay　had　been　his　predecessor。　Finally；　after　the　degradation　of　submission　to　the　pleasure　of　a　heartless　young　rake；　it　was　so　sweet　to　her　to　wander　in　the　flower…strewn　realms　of　love；　that　it　was　not　wonderful　that　she　should　wish　to　dwell　a　while　on　the　prospect；　to　tremble　with　the　vibrations　of　love；　to　feel　the　freshness　of　the　breath　of　its　dawn。　The　true　lover　was　suffering　for　the　sins　of　the　false。　This　inconsistency　is　unfortunately　only　to　be　expected　so　long　as　men　do　not　know　how　many　flowers　are　mown　down　in　a　young　woman's　soul　by　the　first　stroke　of　treachery。

Whatever　her　reasons　may　have　been；　Delphine　was　playing　with　Rastignac；　and　took　pleasure　in　playing　with　him；　doubtless　because　she　felt　sure　of　his　love；　and　confident　that　she　could　put　an　end　to　the　torture　as　soon　as　it　was　her　royal　pleasure　to　do　so。　Eugene's　self…love　was　engaged；　he　could　not　suffer　his　first　passage　of　love　to　end　in　a　defeat；　and　persisted　in　his　suit　like　a　sportsman　determined　to　bring　down　at　least　one　partridge　to　celebrate　his　first　Feast　of　Saint…Hubert。　The　pressure　of　anxiety；　his　wounded　self…love；　his　despair；　real　or　feigned；　drew　him　nearer　and　nearer　to　this　woman。　All　Paris　credited　him　with　this　conquest；　and　yet　he　was　conscious　that　he　had　made　no　progress　since　the　day　when　he　saw　Mme。　de　Nucingen　for　the　first　time。　He　did　not　know　as　yet　that　a　woman's　coquetry　is　sometimes　more　delightful　than　the　pleasure　of　secure　possession　of　her　love；　and　was　possessed　with　helpless　rage。　If；　at　this　time；　while　she　denied　herself　to　love；　Eugene　gathered　the　springtide　spoils　of　his　life；　the　fruit；　somewhat　sharp　and　green；　and　dearly　bought；　was　no　less　delicious　to　the　taste。　There　were　moments　when　he　had　not　a　sou　in　his　pockets；　and　at　such　times　he　thought　in　spite　of　his　conscience　of　Vautrin's　offer　and　the　possibility　of　fortune　by　a　marriage　with　Mlle。　Taillefer。　Poverty　would　clamor　so　loudly　that　more　than　once　he　was　on　the　point　of　yielding　to　the　cunning　temptations　of　the　terrible　sphinx；　whose　glance　had　so　often　exerted　a　strange　spell　over　him。

Poiret　and　Mlle。　Michonneau　went　up　to　their　rooms；　and　Rastignac；　thinking　that　he　was　alone　with　the　women　in　the　dining…room；　sat　between　Mme。　Vauquer　and　Mme。　Couture；　who　was　nodding　over　the　woolen　cuffs　that　she　was　knitting　by　the　stove；　and　looked　at　Mlle。　Taillefer　so　tenderly　that　she　lowered　her　eyes。

〃Can　you　be　in　trouble；　M。　Eugene？〃　Victorine　said　after　a　pause。

〃Who　has　not　his　troubles？〃　answered　Rastignac。　〃If　we　men　were　sure　of　being　loved；　sure　of　a　devotion　which　would　be　our　reward　for　the　sacrifices　which　we　are　always　ready　to　make；　then　perhaps　we　should　have　no　troubles。〃

For　answer　Mlle。　Taillefer　only　gave　him　a　glance　but　it　was　impossible　to　mistake　its　meaning。

〃You；　for　instance；　mademoiselle；　you　feel　sure　of　your　heart　to…　day；　but　are　you　sure　that　it　will　never　change？〃

A　smile　flitted　over　the　poor　girl's　lips；　it　seemed　as　if　a　ray　of　light　from　her　soul　had　lighted　up　her　face。　Eugene　was　dismayed　at　the　sudden　explosion　of　feeling　caused　by　his　words。

〃Ah！　but　suppose；〃　he　said；　〃that　you　should　be　rich　and　happy　to…morrow；　suppose　that　a　vast　fortune　dropped　down　from　the　clouds　for　you；　would　you　still　love　the　man　whom　you　loved　in　your　days　of　poverty？〃

A　charming　movement　of　the　head　was　her　only　answer。

〃Even　if　he　were　very　poor？〃

Again　the　same　mute　answer。

〃What　nonsense　are　you　talking；　you　two？〃　exclaimed　Mme。　Vauquer。

〃Never　mind；〃　answered　Eugene；　〃we　understand　each　other。〃

〃So　there　is　to　be　an　engagement　of　marriage　between　M。　le　Chevalier　Eugene　de　Rastignac　and　Mlle。　Victorine　Taillefer；　is　there？〃　The　words　were　uttered　in　Vautrin's　deep　voice；　and　Vautrin　appeared　at　the　door　as　he　spoke。

〃Oh！　how　you　startled　me！〃　Mme。　Couture　and　Mme。　Vauquer　exclaimed　together。

〃I　might　make　a　worse　choice；〃　said　Rastignac；　laughing。　Vautrin's　voice　had　thrown　him　into　the　most　painful　agitation　that　he　had　yet　known。

〃No　bad　jokes；　gentlemen！〃　said　Mme。　Couture。　〃My　dear；　let　us　go　upstairs。〃

Mme。　Vauquer　followed　the　two　ladies；　meaning　to　pass　the　evening　in　their　room；　an　arrangement　that　economized　fire　and　candlelight。　Eugene　and　Vautrin　were　left　alone。

〃I　felt　sure　you　would　come　round　to　it；〃　said　the　elder　man　with　the　coolness　that　nothing　seemed　to　shake。　〃But　stay　a　moment！　I　have　as　much　delicacy　as　anybody　else。　Don't　make　up　your　mind　on　the　spur　of　the　moment；　you　are　a　little　thrown　off　your　balance　just　now。　You　are　in　debt；　and　I　want　you　to　come　over　to　my　way　of　thinking　after　sober　reflection；　and　not　i