father goriot(高老头)-第21节

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the　letter　that　gave　me　so　much　pain　as　I　read　it。　To　what　courses　are　you　committed？　You　are　going　to　appear　to　be　something　that　you　are　not；　and　your　whole　life　and　success　depends　upon　this？　You　are　about　to　see　a　society　into　which　you　cannot　enter　without　rushing　into　expense　that　you　cannot　afford；　without　losing　precious　time　that　is　needed　for　your　studies。　Ah！　my　dear　Eugene；　believe　your　mother；　crooked　ways　cannot　lead　to　great　ends。　Patience　and　endurance　are　the　two　qualities　most　needed　in　your　position。　I　am　not　scolding　you；　I　do　not　want　any　tinge　of　bitterness　to　spoil　our　offering。　I　am　only　talking　like　a　mother　whose　trust　in　you　is　as　great　as　her　foresight　for　you。　You　know　the　steps　that　you　must　take；　and　I；　for　my　part；　know　the　purity　of　heart；　and　how　good　your　intentions　are；　so　I　can　say　to　you　without　a　doubt；　'Go　forward；　beloved！'　If　I　tremble；　it　is　because　I　am　a　mother；　but　my　prayers　and　blessings　will　be　with　you　at　every　step。　Be　very　careful；　dear　boy。　You　must　have　a　man's　prudence；　for　it　lies　with　you　to　shape　the　destinies　of　five　others　who　are　dear　to　you；　and　must　look　to　you。　Yes；　our　fortunes　depend　upon　you；　and　your　success　is　ours。　We　all　pray　to　God　to　be　with　you　in　all　that　you　do。　Your　aunt　Marcillac　has　been　most　generous　beyond　words　in　this　matter；　she　saw　at　once　how　it　was；　even　down　to　your　gloves。　'But　I　have　a　weakness　for　the　eldest！'　she　said　gaily。　You　must　love　your　aunt　very　much；　dear　Eugene。　I　shall　wait　till　you　have　succeeded　before　telling　you　all　that　she　has　done　for　you；　or　her　money　would　burn　your　fingers。　You；　who　are　young；　do　not　know　what　it　is　to　part　with　something　that　is　a　piece　of　your　past！　But　what　would　we　not　sacrifice　for　your　sakes？　Your　aunt　says　that　I　am　to　send　you　a　kiss　on　the　forehead　from　her；　and　that　kiss　is　to　bring　you　luck　again　and　again；　she　says。　She　would　have　written　you　herself；　the　dear　kind…hearted　woman；　but　she　is　troubled　with　the　gout　in　her　fingers　just　now。　Your　father　is　very　well。　The　vintage　of　1819　has　turned　out　better　than　we　expected。　Good…bye；　dear　boy；　I　will　say　nothing　about　your　sisters；　because　Laure　is　writing　to　you；　and　I　must　let　her　have　the　pleasure　of　giving　you　all　the　home　news。　Heaven　send　that　you　may　succeed！　Oh！　yes；　dear　Eugene；　you　must　succeed。　I　have　come；　through　you；　to　a　knowledge　of　a　pain　so　sharp　that　I　do　not　think　I　could　endure　it　a　second　time。　I　have　come　to　know　what　it　is　to　be　poor；　and　to　long　for　money　for　my　children's　sake。　There；　good…bye！　Do　not　leave　us　for　long　without　news　of　you；　and　here；　at　the　last；　take　a　kiss　from　your　mother。〃

By　the　time　Eugene　had　finished　the　letter　he　was　in　tears。　He　thought　of　Father　Goriot　crushing　his　silver　keepsake　into　a　shapeless　mass　before　he　sold　it　to　meet　his　daughter's　bill　of　exchange。

〃Your　mother　has　broken　up　her　jewels　for　you；〃　he　said　to　himself；　〃your　aunt　shed　tears　over　those　relics　of　hers　before　she　sold　them　for　your　sake。　What　right　have　you　to　heap　execrations　on　Anastasie？　You　have　followed　her　example；　you　have　selfishly　sacrificed　others　to　your　own　future；　and　she　sacrifices　her　father　to　her　lover；　and　of　you　two；　which　is　the　worse？〃

He　was　ready　to　renounce　his　attempts；　he　could　not　bear　to　take　that　money。　The　fires　of　remorse　burned　in　his　heart；　and　gave　him　intolerable　pain；　the　generous　secret　remorse　which　men　seldom　take　into　account　when　they　sit　in　judgment　upon　their　fellow…men；　but　perhaps　the　angels　in　heaven；　beholding　it；　pardon　the　criminal　whom　our　justice　condemns。　Rastignac　opened　his　sister's　letter；　its　simplicity　and　kindness　revived　his　heart。

〃Your　letter　came　just　at　the　right　time；　dear　brother。　Agathe　and　I　had　thought　of　so　many　different　ways　of　spending　our　money；　that　we　did　not　know　what　to　buy　with　it；　and　now　you　have　come　in；　and；　like　the　servant　who　upset　all　the　watches　that　belonged　to　the　King　of　Spain；　you　have　restored　harmony；　for；　really　and　truly；　we　did　not　know　which　of　all　the　things　we　wanted　we　wanted　most；　and　we　were　always　quarreling　about　it；　never　thinking；　dear　Eugene；　of　a　way　of　spending　our　money　which　would　satisfy　us　completely。　Agathe　jumped　for　you。　Indeed；　we　have　been　like　two　mad　things　all　day；　'to　such　a　prodigious　degree'　（as　aunt　would　say）；　that　mother　said；　with　her　severe　expression；　'Whatever　can　be　the　matter　with　you；　mesdemoiselles？'　I　think　if　we　had　been　scolded　a　little；　we　should　have　been　still　better　pleased。　A　woman　ought　to　be　very　glad　to　suffer　for　one　she　loves！　I；　however；　in　my　inmost　soul；　was　doleful　and　cross　in　the　midst　of　all　my　joy。　I　shall　make　a　bad　wife；　I　am　afraid；　I　am　too　fond　of　spending。　I　had　bought　two　sashes　and　a　nice　little　stiletto　for　piercing　eyelet…holes　in　my　stays；　trifles　that　I　really　did　not　want；　so　that　I　have　less　than　that　slow…coach　Agathe；　who　is　so　economical；　and　hoards　her　money　like　a　magpie。　She　had　two　hundred　francs！　And　I　have　only　one　hundred　and　fifty！　I　am　nicely　punished；　I　could　throw　my　sash　down　the　well；　it　will　be　painful　to　me　to　wear　it　now。　Poor　dear；　I　have　robbed　you。　And　Agathe　was　so　nice　about　it。　She　said；　'Let　us　send　the　three　hundred　and　fifty　francs　in　our　two　names！'　But　I　could　not　help　telling　you　everything　just　as　it　happened。

〃Do　you　know　how　we　managed　to　keep　your　commandments？　We　took　our　glittering　hoard；　we　went　out　for　a　walk；　and　when　once　fairly　on　the　highway　we　ran　all　the　way　to　Ruffec；　where　we　handed　over　the　coin；　without　more　ado；　to　M。　Grimbert　of　the　Messageries　Royales。　We　came　back　again　like　swallows　on　the　wing。　'Don't　you　think　that　happiness　has　made　us　lighter？'　Agathe　said。　We　said　all　sorts　of　things；　which　I　shall　not　tell　you；　Monsieur　le　Parisien；　because　they　were　all　about　you。　Oh；　we　love　you　dearly；　dear　brother；　it　was　all　summed　up　in　those　few　words。　As　for　keeping　the　secret；　little　masqueraders　like　us　are　capable　of　anything　（according　to　our　aunt）；　even　of　holding　our　tongues。　Our　mother　has　been　on　a　mysterious　journey　to　Angouleme；　and　the　aunt　went　with　her；　not　without　solemn　councils；　from　which　we　were　shut　out；　and　M。　le　Baron　likewise。　They　are　silent　as　to　the　weighty　political　considerations　that　prompted　their　mission；　and　conjectures　are　rife　in　the　State　of　Rastignac。　The　Infantas　are　embroidering　a　muslin　robe　with　open…　work　sprigs　for　her　Majesty　the　Queen；　the　work　progresses　in　the　most　profound　secrecy。　There　be　but　two　more　breadths　to　finish。　A　decree　has　gone　forth　that　no　wall　shall　be　built　on　the　side　of　Verteuil；　but　that　a　hedge　shall　be　planted　instead　thereof。　Our　subjects　may　sustain　some　disappointment　of　fruit　and　espaliers；　but　strangers　will　enjoy　a　fair　prospect。　Should　the　heir…presumptive　lack　pocket…handkerchiefs；　be　it　known　unto　him　that　the　dowager　Lady　of　Marcillac；　exploring　the　recesses　of　her　drawers　and　boxes　（known　respectively　as　Pompeii　and　Herculaneum）；　having　brought　to　light　a　fair　piece　of　cambric　whereof　she　wotted　not；　the　Princesses　Agathe　and　Laure　place　at　their　brother's　disposal　their　thread；　their　needles；　and　hands　somewhat　of　the　reddest。　The　two　young　Princes；　Don　Henri　and　Don　Gabriel；　retain　their　fatal　habits　of　stuffing　themselves　with　grape…jelly；　of　teasing　their　sisters；　of　taking　their　pleasure　by　going　a…bird…nesting；　and　of　cutting　switches　for　themselves　from　the　osier…beds；　maugre　the　laws　of　the　realm。　Moreover；　they　list　not　to　learn　naught；　wherefore　the　Papal　Nuncio　（called　of　the　commonalty；　M。　le　Cure）　threateneth　them　with　excommunication；　since　that　they　neglect　the　sacred　canons　of　grammatical　construction　for　the　construction　of　other　canon；　deadly　engines　made　of　the　stems　of　elder。

〃Farewell；　dear　brother；　never　did　letter　carry　so　many　wishes　for　your　success；　so　much　love　fully　satisfied。　You　will　have　a　great　deal　to　tell　us　when　you　come　home！　You　will　tell　me　everything；　won't　you？　I　am　the　oldest。　From　something　the　aunt　let　fall；　we　think　you　must　have　had　some　success。

〃Something　was　said　of　a　lady；　but　nothing　more　was　said　。　。　。

〃Of　course　not；　in　our　family！　Oh；　by…the…by；　Eugene；　would　you　rather　that　we　made　that　piece　of　cambric　into　shirts　for　you　instead　of　pocket…handkerchiefs？　If　you　want　some　really　nice　shirts　at　once；　we　ought　to　lose　no　time　in　beginning　upon　them；　and　if　the　fashion　is　different　now　in　Paris；　send　us　one　for　a　pattern；　we　want　more　particularly　to　know　about　the　cuffs。　Good…　bye！　Good…bye！　Take　my　kiss　on　the　left　side　of　your　forehead；　on　the　temple　that　belongs　to　me；　and　to　no　one　else　in　the　world。　I　am　leaving　the　other　side　of　the　sheet　for　Agathe；　who　has　solemnly　promised　not　to　read　a　word　that　I　have　written；　but；　all　the　same；　I　mean　to　sit　by　her　side　while　she　writes；　so　as　to　be　quite　sure　that　she　keeps　her　word。Your　loving　sister；　〃Laure　de　Rastignac。〃

〃Yes！〃　said　Eugene　to　himself。　〃Yes！　Success　at　all　costs　now！　Riches　could　not　repay　such　devotion　as　this。　I　wish　I　could　give　them　every　sort　of　happiness！　Fifteen　hundred　and　fifty　francs；〃　he　went　on　after　a　pause。　〃Every　shot　must　go　to　the　mark！　Laure　is　right。　Trust　a　woman！　I　have　only　calico　shirts。　Where　some　one　else's　welfare　is　concerned；　a　young　girl　becomes　as　ingenious　as　a