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demons concerning my movements; and by a subtle indication of the face



conveying to the stranger an assurance that I had tactfully grasped



the requirement; and would endeavour to walk well upon his heels; 〃and



therefore it would be unseemly for a person of my insignificant



attainments to engage in the doubtful flattery of comparing it with



the many other residences of the pure and exalted which embellish your



Capital。〃







〃Oh;〃 said the one whom I may now suitably describe by the name of Sir



Philip; 〃that's rather a useful proverb sometimes。 Many people there?〃







At this inquiry I could not disguise from myself an emotion that the



person seated opposite was not diplomatically inspired in so



persistently clinging to the one subject upon which he must assuredly



know that I experienced an all…pervading deficiency。 Nevertheless;



being by this more fully convinced that the disguise was one of



critical necessity; and not deeming that the essential ceremonies of



one Palace would differ from those of another; no matter in what land



they stood (while through all I read a clear design on Sir Philip's



part that the opportunity was craftily arranged so that I might



impress upon any vindictively…intentioned spirits within hearing an



assumption of high protection); I replied that the gathering had been



one of unparalleled splendour; both by reason of the multitude of



exalted nobles present and also owing to the jewelled magnificence



lavished on every detail。 Furthermore; I continued; now definitely



abandoning all the promptings of a wise reserve; and reflecting; as we



say; that one may as well be drowned in the ocean as in a wooden



bucket; not only did the sublime and unapproachable sovereign



graciously permit me to kow…tow respectfully before him; but



subsequently calling me to his side beneath a canopy of golden



radiance; he conversed genially with me and benevolently assured me of



his sympathetic favour on all occasions (this; I conjectured; would



certainly overawe any Evil Force not among the very highest circles);



while the no less magnanimous Prince of the Imperial Line questioned



me with flattering assiduousness concerning a method of communicating



with persons at a distance by means of blows or stamps upon a post (as



far as the outer meaning conveyed itself to me); the houses which we



build; and whether they contained an adequate provision of enclosed



spaces in the walls。







Doubtless I could have continued in this praiseworthy spirit of



delicate cordiality to an indefinite amount had I not chanced to



observe at this point that the expression of Sir Philip's urbanity had



become entangled in a variety of other emotions; not all propitious to



the scheme; so that in order to retire imperceptibly within myself I



smiled broad…mindedly; remarking that it was well said that the moon



was only bright while the sun was hid; and that I had lately been



dazzled with the sight of so much brilliance and virtuous



condescension that there were occasions when I questioned inwardly how



much I had really witnessed; and how much had been conveyed to me in



the nature of an introspective vision。







It will already have been made plain to you; O my courtly…mannered



father; that these barbarians are totally deficient in the polite art



whereby two persons may carry on a flattering and highly…attuned



conversation; mutually advantageous to the esteem of each; without it



being necessary in any way that their statements should have more than



an ornamental actuality。 So wanting in this; the most concentrated



form of truly well…bred entertainment; are even their high officials;



that after a few more remarks; to which I made answer in a spirit of



skilfully…sustained elusiveness; the utterly obtuse Sir Philip said at



length; 〃Excuse my asking; Mr。 Kong; but have you really been to the



Alexandra Palace at all?〃







Admittedly there are few occasions in life on which it is not possible



to fail to see the inopportune or low…class by a dignified



impassiveness of features; an adroitly…directed jest; or a remark of



baffling inconsequence; but in the face of so distressingly



straightforward a demand what can be advanced by a person of



susceptible refinement when opposed to one of incomparably larger



dimensions; imprisoned by his side in the recess of a fire…chariot



which is leaping forward with uncurbed velocity; and surrounded by



demons with whose habits and partialities he is unfamiliar?







〃In a manner of expressing the circumstance;〃 I replied; 〃it is not to



be denied that this person's actual footsteps may have imperceptibly



been drawn somewhat aside from the path of his former design。 Yet



inasmuch as it is truly said that the body is in all things



subservient to the mind; and is led withersoever it is willed; and as



your engaging directions were scrupulously observed with undeviating



fidelity; it would be impertinently self…opinionated on this person's



part to imply that they failed to guide him to his destination。 Thus;



for all ceremonial purposes; it is permissible conscientiously to



assume that he HAS been there。〃







〃I am afraid that I must not have been sufficiently clear;〃 said Sir



Philip。 〃Did you miss the train at King's Cross?〃







〃By no means;〃 I replied firmly; pained inwardly that he should cast



the shadow of such narrow incompetence upon me。 〃Seeing this machine



on the point of setting forth on a journey; even as your overwhelming



sagacity had enabled you to predict would be the case; I embarked with



self…reliant confidence。〃







〃Good lord!〃 murmured the person opposite; beginning to manifest an



excess of emotion for which I was quite unable to account。 〃Then you



have been in this trainyour actual footsteps I mean; Mr。 Kong; not



your ceremonial abstract subliminal egoever since?〃







To this I replied that his words shone like the moon at midnight with



scintillating points of truth; adding; however; as the courtesies of



the occasion required; that I had been so impressed with the



many…sided brilliance of his conversation earlier in the day as to



render the flight of time practically unnoticed by me。







〃But did it never occur to you to ask at one of the stations?〃 he



demanded; still continuing to wave his hands incapably from side to



side。 〃Any of the porters would have told you。〃







〃Kong Li Heng; the founder of our line; who was really great; has been



dead eleven centuries; and no single fact or incident connected with



his life has been preserved to influence mankind;〃 I replied。 〃How



much less will it matter; then; even in so limited a space of time as



a hundred years; in what fashion so insignificant a person as the one



before you acted on any occasion; and why; therefore; should he



distress himself unnecessarily to any precise end?〃 In this manner I



sought to place before him the dignified example of an



imperturbability which can be maintained in every emergency; and at



the same time to administer a plain yet scrupulously…sheathed rebuke;



for the inauspicious manner in which he had first drawn me on to speak



confidently of the ceremonies of the Royal Palace and then held up my



inadequacy to undeserved contempt had not rejoiced my imagination; and



I was still uncertain how much to claim; and whether; perchance; even



yet a more subtle craft lay under all。







〃Well; in any case; when you go back you can claim the distinction of



having been taken seven times round London; although you can't really



have seen much of it;〃 said Sir Philip。 〃This is a Circle train。〃







At this assertion I looked up。 Though admittedly curved a little about



the roof the chariot was in every essential degree what we should



pronounce to be a square one; whereupon; feeling at length that the



involvement had definitely passed to a point beyond my contemptible



discernment; I spread out my hands acquiescently and affably remarked



that the days were lengthening out pleasantly。







In such a manner I became acquainted with the one Sir Philip; and



thereby; in a somewhat circuitous line; the original purpose which



possessed my brush when I began this inept and commonplace letter is



reached; for the person in question not only lay upon himself the



obligation of leading me 〃by the strings of his apron…garment〃in the



characteristic and fanciful turn of the barbarian languageto that



same Palace on the following day; but thenceforth gracefully affecting

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