clocks(时钟)-第2节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
baker； who have gone into the matter with the housemaid； know better。
After awhile； having learned the trick； we launch out boldly and spend
like Indian Princesor rather _seem_ to spend； for we know； by this time；
how to purchase the seeming with the seeming； how to buy the appearance
of wealth with the appearance of cash。 And the dear old world
Beelzebub bless it！ for it is his own child； sure enough； there is no
mistaking the likeness； it has all his funny little waysgathers round；
applauding and laughing at the lie； and sharing in the cheat； and gloating
over the thought of the blow that it knows must sooner or later fall on us
from the Thor…like hammer of Truth。
And all goes merry as a witches' frolicuntil the gray morning dawns。
Truth and fact are old…fashioned and out…of…date； my friends； fit only
for the dull and vulgar to live by。 Appearance； not reality； is what the
clever dog grasps at in these clever days。 We spurn the dull…brown solid
earth； we build our lives and homes in the fair…seeming rainbow…land of
shadow and chimera。
To ourselves； sleeping and waking there； _behind_ the rainbow； there
is no beauty in the house； only a chill damp mist in every room； and； over
all； a haunting fear of the hour when the gilded clouds will melt away； and
let us fallsomewhat heavily； no doubtupon the hard world underneath。
But； there！ of what matter is _our_ misery； _our_ terror？ To the
stranger； our home appears fair and bright。 The workers in the fields
below look up and envy us our abode of glory and delight！ If _they_
think it pleasant； surely _we_ should be content。 Have we not been
taught to live for others and not for ourselves； and are we not acting up
bravely to the teachingin this most curious method？
Ah！ yes； we are self…sacrificing enough； and loyal enough in our
devotion to this new…crowned king； the child of Prince Imposture and
5
… Page 6…
Clocks
Princess Pretense。 Never before was despot so blindly worshiped！ Never
had earthly sovereign yet such world…wide sway！
Man； if he would live； _must_ worship。 He looks around； and what
to him； within the vision of his life； is the greatest and the best； that he
falls down and does reverence to。 To him whose eyes have opened on
the nineteenth century； what nobler image can the universe produce than
the figure of Falsehood in stolen robes？ It is cunning and brazen and
hollow…hearted； and it realizes his souls ideal； and he falls and kisses its
feet； and clings to its skinny knees； swearing fealty to it for evermore！
Ah！ he is a mighty monarch； bladder…bodied King Humbug！ Come；
let us build up temples of hewn shadows wherein we may adore him； safe
from the light。 Let us raise him aloft upon our Brummagem shields。
Long live our coward； falsehearted chief！fit leader for such soldiers as
we！ Long live the Lord…of…Lies； anointed！ Long live poor King
Appearances； to whom all mankind bows the knee！
But we must hold him aloft very carefully； oh； my brother warriors！
He needs much 〃keeping up。〃 He has no bones and sinews of his own；
the poor old flimsy fellow！ If we take our hands from him； he will fall a
heap of worn…out rags； and the angry wind will whirl him away； and leave
us forlorn。 Oh； let us spend our lives keeping him up； and serving him；
and making him greatthat is； evermore puffed out with air and
nothingnessuntil he burst； and we along with him！
Burst one day he must； as it is in the nature of bubbles to burst；
especially when they grow big。 Meanwhile； he still reigns over us； and
the world grows more and more a world of pretense and exaggeration and
lies； and he who pretends and exaggerates and lies the most successfully；
is the greatest of us all。
The world is a gingerbread fair； and we all stand outside our booths
and point to the gorgeous…colored pictures； and beat the big drum and brag。
Brag！ brag！ Life is one great game of brag！
〃Buy my soap； oh ye people； and ye will never look old； and the hair
will grow again on your bald places； and ye will never be poor or unhappy
again；； and mine is the only true soap。 Oh； beware of spurious
imitations！〃
6
… Page 7…
Clocks
〃Buy my lotion； all ye that suffer from pains in the head； or the
stomach； or the feet； or that have broken arms； or broken hearts； or
objectionable mothers…in…law； and drink one bottle a day； and all your
troubles will be ended。〃
〃Come to my church； all ye that want to go to Heaven； and buy my
penny weekly guide； and pay my pew…rates； and； pray ye； have nothing to
do with my misguided brother over the road。 _This_ is the only safe
way！〃
〃Oh； vote for me； my noble and intelligent electors； and send our party
into power； and the world shall be a new place； and there shall be no sin or
sorrow any more！ And each free and independent voter shall have a bran
new Utopia made on purpose for him； according to his own ideas； with a
good…sized； extra…unpleasant purgatory attached； to which he can send
everybody he does not like。 Oh！ do not miss this chance！〃
Oh！ listen to my philosophy； it is the best and deepest。 Oh！ hear my
songs； they are the sweetest。 Oh！ buy my pictures； they alone are true art。
Oh！ read my books； they are the finest。
Oh！ _I_ am the greatest cheesemonger； _I_ am the greatest soldier； _I_
am the greatest statesman； _I_ am the greatest poet； _I_ am the greatest
showman； _I_ am the greatest mountebank； _I_am the greatest editor； and
_I_ am the greatest patriot。 _We_ are the greatest nation。 _We_ are the
only good people。 _Ours_ is the only true religion。 Bah！ how we all
yell！
How we all brag and bounce； and beat the drum and shout； and
nobody believes a word we utter； and the people ask one another； saying：
〃How can we tell who is the greatest and the cleverest among all these
shrieking braggarts？〃
And they answer：
〃There is none great or clever。 The great and clever men are not here；
there is no place for them in this pandemonium of charlatans and quacks。
The men you see here are crowing cocks。 We suppose the greatest and
the best of _them_ are they who crow the loudest and the longest； that is
the only test of _their_ merits。〃
Therefore； what is left for us to do； but to crow？ And the best and
7
… Page 8…
Clocks
greatest of us all； is he who crows the loudest and the longest on this little
dunghill that we call our world！
Well； I was going to tell you about our clock。
It was my wife's idea； getting it； in the first instance。 We had been to
dinner at the Buggles'； and Buggles had just bought a clock〃picked it up
in Essex；〃 was the way he described the transaction。 Buggles is always
going about 〃picking up〃 things。 He will stand before an old carved
bedstead； weighing about three tons； and say：
〃Yespretty little thing！ I picked it up in Holland；〃 as though he had
found it by the roadside； and slipped it into his umbrella when nobody was
looking！
Buggles was rather full of this clock。 It was of the good old…
fashioned 〃grandfather〃 type。 It stood eight feet high； in a carved…oak
case； and had a deep； sonorous； solemn tick； that made a pleasant
accompaniment to the after…dinner chat； and seemed to fill the room with
an air of homely dignity。
We discussed the clock； and Buggles said how he loved the sound of
its slow； grave tick； and how； when all the house was still； and he and it
were sitting up alone together； it seemed like some wise old friend talking
to him； and telling him about the old days and the old ways of thought；
and the old life and the old people。
