the wreck of the golden mary-第6节

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all　night　to　think　that　there　was　no　Prayer…Book　among　us；　and　that

I　could　remember　but　very　few　of　the　exact　words　of　the　burial

service。　　When　I　stood　up　at　broad　day；　all　knew　what　was　going　to

be　done；　and　I　noticed　that　my　poor　fellows　made　the　motion　of


uncovering　their　heads；　though　their　heads　had　been　stark　bare　to

the　sky　and　sea　for　many　a　weary　hour。　　There　was　a　long　heavy　swell

on；　but　otherwise　it　was　a　fair　morning；　and　there　were　broad　fields

of　sunlight　on　the　waves　in　the　east。　　I　said　no　more　than　this：　　〃I

am　the　Resurrection　and　the　Life；　saith　the　Lord。　　He　raised　the

daughter　of　Jairus　the　ruler；　and　said　she　was　not　dead　but　slept。

He　raised　the　widow's　son。　　He　arose　Himself；　and　was　seen　of　many。

He　loved　little　children；　saying；　Suffer　them　to　come　unto　Me　and

rebuke　them　not；　for　of　such　is　the　kingdom　of　heaven。　　In　His　name；

my　friends；　and　committed　to　His　merciful　goodness！〃　　With　those

words　I　laid　my　rough　face　softly　on　the　placid　little　forehead；　and

buried　the　Golden　Lucy　in　the　grave　of　the　Golden　Mary。



Having　had　it　on　my　mind　to　relate　the　end　of　this　dear　little

child；　I　have　omitted　something　from　its　exact　place；　which　I　will

supply　here。　　It　will　come　quite　as　well　here　as　anywhere　else。



Foreseeing　that　if　the　boat　lived　through　the　stormy　weather；　the

time　must　come；　and　soon　come；　when　we　should　have　absolutely　no

morsel　to　eat；　I　had　one　momentous　point　often　in　my　thoughts。

Although　I　had；　years　before　that；　fully　satisfied　myself　that　the

instances　in　which　human　beings　in　the　last　distress　have　fed　upon

each　other；　are　exceedingly　few；　and　have　very　seldom　indeed　（if

ever）　occurred　when　the　people　in　distress；　however　dreadful　their

extremity；　have　been　accustomed　to　moderate　forbearance　and

restraint；　I　say；　though　I　had　long　before　quite　satisfied　my　mind

on　this　topic；　I　felt　doubtful　whether　there　might　not　have　been　in

former　cases　some　harm　and　danger　from　keeping　it　out　of　sight　and

pretending　not　to　think　of　it。　　I　felt　doubtful　whether　some　minds；

growing　weak　with　fasting　and　exposure　and　having　such　a　terrific

idea　to　dwell　upon　in　secret；　might　not　magnify　it　until　it　got　to

have　an　awful　attraction　about　it。　　This　was　not　a　new　thought　of

mine；　for　it　had　grown　out　of　my　reading。　　However；　it　came　over　me

stronger　than　it　had　ever　done　beforeas　it　had　reason　for　doing

in　the　boat；　and　on　the　fourth　day　I　decided　that　I　would　bring　out

into　the　light　that　unformed　fear　which　must　have　been　more　or　less

darkly　in　every　brain　among　us。　　Therefore；　as　a　means　of　beguiling

the　time　and　inspiring　hope；　I　gave　them　the　best　summary　in　my

power　of　Bligh's　voyage　of　more　than　three　thousand　miles；　in　an

open　boat；　after　the　Mutiny　of　the　Bounty；　and　of　the　wonderful

preservation　of　that　boat's　crew。　　They　listened　throughout　with

great　interest；　and　I　concluded　by　telling　them；　that；　in　my

opinion；　the　happiest　circumstance　in　the　whole　narrative　was；　that

Bligh；　who　was　no　delicate　man　either；　had　solemnly　placed　it　on

record　therein　that　he　was　sure　and　certain　that　under　no

conceivable　circumstances　whatever　would　that　emaciated　party；　who

had　gone　through　all　the　pains　of　famine；　have　preyed　on　one

another。　　I　cannot　describe　the　visible　relief　which　this　spread

through　the　boat；　and　how　the　tears　stood　in　every　eye。　　From　that

time　I　was　as　well　convinced　as　Bligh　himself　that　there　was　no

danger；　and　that　this　phantom；　at　any　rate；　did　not　haunt　us。



Now；　it　was　a　part　of　Bligh's　experience　that　when　the　people　in　his

boat　were　most　cast　down；　nothing　did　them　so　much　good　as　hearing　a

story　told　by　one　of　their　number。　　When　I　mentioned　that；　I　saw

that　it　struck　the　general　attention　as　much　as　it　did　my　own；　for　I

had　not　thought　of　it　until　I　came　to　it　in　my　summary。　　This　was　on

the　day　after　Mrs。　Atherfield　first　sang　to　us。　　I　proposed　that；

whenever　the　weather　would　permit；　we　should　have　a　story　two　hours

after　dinner　（I　always　issued　the　allowance　I　have　mentioned　at　one

o'clock；　and　called　it　by　that　name）；　as　well　as　our　song　at　sunset。

The　proposal　was　received　with　a　cheerful　satisfaction　that　warmed

my　heart　within　me；　and　I　do　not　say　too　much　when　I　say　that　those

two　periods　in　the　four…and…twenty　hours　were　expected　with　positive

pleasure；　and　were　really　enjoyed　by　all　hands。　　Spectres　as　we　soon

were　in　our　bodily　wasting；　our　imaginations　did　not　perish　like　the

gross　flesh　upon　our　bones。　　Music　and　Adventure；　two　of　the　great

gifts　of　Providence　to　mankind；　could　charm　us　long　after　that　was

lost。



The　wind　was　almost　always　against　us　after　the　second　day；　and　for

many　days　together　we　could　not　nearly　hold　our　own。　　We　had　all

varieties　of　bad　weather。　　We　had　rain；　hail；　snow；　wind；　mist；

thunder　and　lightning。　　Still　the　boats　lived　through　the　heavy

seas；　and　still　we　perishing　people　rose　and　fell　with　the　great

waves。



Sixteen　nights　and　fifteen　days；　twenty　nights　and　nineteen　days；

twenty…four　nights　and　twenty…three　days。　　So　the　time　went　on。

Disheartening　as　I　knew　that　our　progress；　or　want　of　progress；　must

be；　I　never　deceived　them　as　to　my　calculations　of　it。　　In　the　first

place；　I　felt　that　we　were　all　too　near　eternity　for　deceit；　in　the

second　place；　I　knew　that　if　I　failed；　or　died；　the　man　who　followed

me　must　have　a　knowledge　of　the　true　state　of　things　to　begin　upon。

When　I　told　them　at　noon；　what　I　reckoned　we　had　made　or　lost；　they

generally　received　what　I　said　in　a　tranquil　and　resigned　manner；

and　always　gratefully　towards　me。　　It　was　not　unusual　at　any　time　of

the　day　for　some　one　to　burst　out　weeping　loudly　without　any　new

cause；　and；　when　the　burst　was　over；　to　calm　down　a　little　better

than　before。　　I　had　seen　exactly　the　same　thing　in　a　house　of

mourning。



During　the　whole　of　this　time；　old　Mr。　Rarx　had　had　his　fits　of

calling　out　to　me　to　throw　the　gold　（always　the　gold！）　overboard；

and　of　heaping　violent　reproaches　upon　me　for　not　having　saved　the

child；　but　now；　the　food　being　all　gone；　and　I　having　nothing　left

to　serve　out　but　a　bit　of　coffee…berry　now　and　then；　he　began　to　be

too　weak　to　do　this；　and　consequently　fell　silent。　　Mrs。　Atherfield

and　Miss　Coleshaw　generally　lay；　each　with　an　arm　across　one　of　my

knees；　and　her　head　upon　it。　　They　never　complained　at　all。　　Up　to

the　time　of　her　child's　death；　Mrs。　Atherfield　had　bound　up　her　own

beautiful　hair　every　day；　and　I　took　particular　notice　that　this　was

always　before　she　sang　her　song　at　night；　when　everyone　looked　at

her。　　But　she　never　did　it　after　the　loss　of　her　darling；　and　it

would　have　been　now　all　tangled　with　dirt　and　wet；　but　that　Miss

Coleshaw　was　careful　of　it　long　after　she　was　herself；　and　would

sometimes　smooth　it　down　with　her　weak　thin　hands。



We　were　past　mustering　a　story　now；　but　one　day；　at　about　this

period；　I　reverted　to　the　superstition　of　old　Mr。　Rarx；　concerning

the　Golden　Lucy；　and　told　them　that　nothing　vanished　from　the　eye　of

God；　though　much　might　pass　away　from　the　eyes　of　men。　　〃We　were　all

of　us；〃　says　I；　〃children　once；　and　our　baby　feet　have　strolled　in

green　woods　ashore；　and　our　baby　hands　have　gathered　flowers　in

gardens；　where　the　birds　were　singing。　　The　children　that　we　were；

are　not　lost　to　the　great　knowledge　of　our　Creator。　　Those　innocent

creatures　will　appear　with　us　before　Him；　and　plead　for　us。　　What　we

were　in　the　best　time　of　our　generous　youth　will　arise　and　go　with

us　too。　　The　purest　part　of　our　lives　will　not　desert　us　at　the　pass

to　which　all　of　us　here　present　are　gliding。　　What　we　were　then；

will　be　as　much　in　existence　before　Him；　as　what　we　are　now。〃　　They

were　no　less　comforted　by　this　consideration；　than　I　was　myself；　and

Miss　Coleshaw；　drawing　my　ear　nearer　to　her　lips；　said；　〃Captain

Ravender；　I　was　on　my　way　to　marry　a　disgraced　and　broken　man；　whom

I　dearly　loved　when　he　was　honourable　and　good。　　Your　words　seem　to

have　come　out　of　my　own　poor　heart。〃　　She　pressed　my　hand　upon　it；

smiling。



Twenty…seven　nights　and　twenty…six　days。　　We　were　in　no　want　of

rain…water；　but　we　had　nothing　else。　　And　yet；　even　now；　I　never

turned　my　eyes　upon　a　waking　face　but　it　tried　to　brighten　before

mine。　　O；　what　a　thing　it　is；　in　a　time　of　danger　and　in　the

presence　of　death；　the　shining　of　a　face　upon　a　face！　　I　have　heard

it　broached　that　orders　should　be　given　in　great　new　ships　by

electric　telegraph。　　I　admire　machinery　as　much　is　any　man；　and　am

as　thankful　to　it　as　any　man　can　be　for　what　it　does　for　us。　　But　it

will　never　be　a　substitute　for　the　face　of　a　man；　with　his　soul　in

it；　encouraging　another　man　to　be　brave　and　true。　　Never　try　it　for

that。　　It　will　break　down　like　a　straw。



I　now　began　to　remark　certain　changes　in　myself　which　I　did　not

like。　　They　caused　me　much　disquiet。　　I　often　saw　the　Golden　Lucy　in

the　air　above　the　boat。　　I　often　saw　her　I　have　spoken