fraternity-第24节
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'I know the girl can't have bought those things out of her proper earnings。 I believe she's a really bad lot。 I don't like to think it; but it must be so。 Hilary can't have been so stupid after what I said to him。 If she really is bad; it simplifies things very much; but Hilary is just the sort of man who will never believe it。 Oh dear!'
It was; to be quite fair; immensely difficult for Stephen and his wifeor any of their class and circlein spite of genuinely good intentions; to really feel the existence of their 〃shadows;〃 except in so far as they saw them on the pavements。 They knew that these people lived; because they saw them; but they did not feel itwith such extraordinary care had the web of social life been spun。 They were; and were bound to be; as utterly divorced from understanding of; or faith in; all that shadowy life; as those 〃shadows〃 in their by…streets were from knowledge or belief that gentlefolk really existed except in so far as they had money from them。
Stephen and Cecilia; and their thousands; knew these 〃shadows〃 as 〃the people;〃 knew them as slums; as districts; as sweated industries; of different sorts of workers; knew them in the capacity of persons performing odd jobs for them; but as human beings possessing the same faculties and passions with themselves; they did not; could not; know them。 The reason; the long reason; extending back through generations; was so plain; so very simple; that it was never mentionedin their heart of hearts; where there was no room for cant; they knew it to be just a little matter of the senses。 They knew that; whatever they might say; whatever money they might give; or time devote; their hearts could never open; unlessunless they closed their ears; and eyes; and noses。 This little fact; more potent than all the teaching of philosophers; than every Act of Parliament; and all the sermons ever preached; reigned paramount; supreme。 It divided class from class; man from his shadowas the Great Underlying Law had set dark apart from light。
On this little fact; too gross to mention; they and their kind had in secret built and built; till it was not too much to say that laws; worship; trade; and every art were based on it; if not in theory; then in fact。 For it must not be thought that those eyes were dull or that nose plainno; no; those eyes could put two and two together; that nose; of myriad fancy; could imagine countless things unsmelled which must lie behind a state of life not quite its own。 It could create; as from the scent of an old slipper dogs create their masters。
So Stephen and Cecilia sat; and their butler brought in the bird。 It was a nice one; nourished down in Surrey; and as he cut it into portions the butler's soul turned sick within himnot because he wanted some himself; or was a vegetarian; or for any sort of principle; but because he was by natural gifts an engineer; and deadly tired of cutting up and handing birds to other people and watching while they ate them。 Without a glimmer of expression on his face he put the portions down before the persons who; having paid him to do so; could not tell his thoughts。
That same night; after working at a Report on the present Laws of Bankruptcy; which he was then drawing up; Stephen entered the joint apartment with excessive caution; having first made all his dispositions; and; stealing to the bed; slipped into it。 He lay there; offering himself congratulations that he had not awakened Cecilia; and Cecilia; who was wide awake; knew by his unwonted carefulness that he had come to some conclusion which he did not wish to impart to her。 Devoured; therefore; by disquiet; she lay sleepless till the clock struck two。
The conclusion to which Stephen had come was this: Having twice gone through the factsHilary's corporeal separation from Bianca (communicated to him by Cecilia); cause unknowable; Hilary's interest in the little model; cause unknown; her known poverty; her employment by Mr。 Stone; her tenancy of Mrs。 Hughs' room; the latter's outburst to Cecilia; Hughs' threat; and; finally; the girl's pretty clothes he had summed it up as just a common 〃plant;〃 to which his brother's possibly innocent; but in any case imprudent; conduct had laid him open。 It was a man's affair。 He resolutely tried to look on the whole thing as unworthy of attention; to feel that nothing would occur。 He failed dismally; for three reasons。 First; his inherent love of regularity; of having everything in proper order; secondly; his ingrained mistrust of and aversion from Bianca; thirdly; his unavowed conviction; for all his wish to be sympathetic to them; that the lower classes always wanted something out of you。 It was a question of how much they would want; and whether it were wise to give them anything。 He decided that it would not be wise at all。 What then? Impossible to say。 It worried him。 He had a natural horror of any sort of scandal; and he was very fond of Hilary。 If only he knew the attitude Bianca would take up! He could not even guess it。
Thus; on that Saturday afternoon; the 4th of May; he felt for once such a positive aversion from the reading of reviews; as men will feel from their usual occupations when their nerves have been disturbed。 He stayed late at Chambers; and came straight home outside an omnibus。
The tide of life was flowing in the town。 The streets were awash with wave on wave of humanity; sucked into a thousand crossing currents。 Here men and women were streaming out from the meeting of a religious congress; there streaming in at the gates of some social function; like bright water confined within long shelves of rock and dyed with myriad scales of shifting colour; they thronged Rotten Row; and along the closed shop…fronts were woven into an inextricable network of little human runlets。 And everywhere amongst this sea of men and women could be seen their shadows; meandering like streaks of grey slime stirred up from the lower depths by some huge; never… ceasing finger。 The innumerable roar of that human sea climbed out above the roofs and trees; and somewhere in illimitable space blended; and slowly reached the meeting…point of sound and silence that Heart where Life; leaving its little forms and barriers; clasps Death; and from that clasp springs forth new…formed; within new barriers。
Above this crowd of his fellow…creatures; Stephen drove; and the same Spring wind which had made the elm…trees talk; whispered to him; and tried to tell him of the million flowers it had fertilised; the million leaves uncurled; the million ripples it had awakened on the sea; of the million flying shadows flung by it across the Downs; and how into men's hearts its scent had driven a million longings and sweet pains。
It was but moderately successful; for Stephen; like all men of culture and neat habits; took Nature only at those moments when he had gone out to take her; and of her wild heart he had a secret fear。
On his own doorstep he encountered Hilary coming out。
〃I ran across Thyme and Martin in the Gardens;〃 the latter said。 〃Thyme brought me back to lunch; and here I've been ever since。〃
〃Did she bring our young Sanitist in too?〃 asked Stephen dubiously。
〃No;〃 said Hilary。
〃Good! That young man gets on my nerves。〃 Taking his elder brother by the arm; he added: 〃Will you come in again; old boy; or shall we go for a stroll?〃
〃A stroll;〃 said Hilary。
Though different enough; perhaps because they were so different; these two brothers had the real affection for each other which depends on something deeper and more elementary than a similarity of sentiments; and is permanent because unconnected with the reasoning powers。
It depended on the countless times they had kissed and wrestled as tiny boys; slept in small beds alongside; refused…to 〃tell〃 about each other; and even now and then taken up the burden of each other's peccadilloes。 They might get irritated or tired of being in each other's company; but it would have been impossible for either to have been disloyal to the other in any circumstances; because of that traditional loyalty which went back to their cribs。
Preceded by Miranda; they walked along the flower walk towards the Park; talking of indifferent things; though in his heart each knew well enough what was in the other's。
Stephen broke through the hedge。
〃Cis has been telling me;〃 he said; 〃that this man Hughs is making trouble of some sort。〃
Hilary nodded。
Stephen glanced a little anxiously at his brother's face; it struck him as looking different; neither so gentle nor so impersonal as usual。
〃He's a ruffian; isn't he?〃
〃I can't tell you;〃 Hilary answered。 〃Probably not。〃
〃He must be; old chap;〃 murmured Stephen。 Then; with a friendly pressure of his brother's arm; he added: 〃Look here; old boy; can I be of any use?〃
〃In what?〃 asked Hilary。
Stephen took a hasty mental view of his position; he had been in danger of letting Hilary see that he suspected him。 Frowning slightly; and with some colour in his clean…shaven face; he said:
〃Of course; there's nothing in it。〃
〃In what?〃 said Hilary again。
〃In what this ruffian says。〃
〃No;〃 said Hilary; 〃there's nothing in it; though what there may be if people giv