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第18节

fraternity-第18节

小说: fraternity 字数: 每页4000字

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 No tree in all the world could have looked more fair than it did just then in its garb of gilded bloom。 With her hand up to her bare neck; and her cheeks indrawn from sucking the sweet; the little model fixed her eyes on the tree。  Her expression did not change; she showed no signs of admiration。  Her gaze passed on to the back windows of the house that really owned the pear…tree; spying out whether anyone could see herhoping; perhaps; someone would see her while she was feeling so nice and new。  Then; dropping the blind; she went back to the glass and began to pin her hair up。  When this was done she stood for a long minute looking at her old brown skirt and blouse; hesitating to defile her new…found purity。  At last she put them on and drew up the blind。  The sunlight had passed off the pear…tree; its bloom was now white; and almost as still as snow。  The little model put another sweet into her mouth; and producing from her pocket an ancient leather purse; counted out her money。  Evidently discovering that it was no more than she expected; she sighed; and rummaged out of a top drawer an old illustrated magazine。

She sat down on the bed; and; turning the leaves rapidly till she reached a certain page; rested the paper in her lap。  Her eyes were fixed on a photograph in the left…hand corner…one of those effigies of writers that appear occasionally in the public press。  Under it were printed the words: 〃Mr。 Hilary Dallison。〃  And suddenly she heaved a sigh。

The room grew darker; the wind; getting up as the sun went down; blew a few dropped petals of the pear…tree against the window…pane。




CHAPTER XII

SHIPS IN SAIL

In due accord with the old butler's comment on his looks; Hilary had felt so young that; instead of going home; he mounted an omnibus; and went down to his clubthe 〃Pen and Ink;〃 so called because the man who founded it could not think at the moment of any other words。 This literary person had left the club soon after its initiation; having conceived for it a sudden dislike。  It had indeed a certain reputation for bad cooking; and all its members complained bitterly at times that you never could go in without meeting someone you knew。 It stood in Dover Street。  Unlike other clubs; it was mainly used to talk in; and had special arrangements for the safety of umbrellas and such books as had not yet vanished from the library; not; of course; owing to any peculative tendency among its members; but because; after interchanging their ideas; those members would depart; in a long row; each grasping some material object in his hand。  Its。 maroon…coloured curtains; too; were never drawn; because; in the heat of their discussions; the members were always drawing them。  On the whole; those members did not like each other much; wondering a little; one by one; why the others wrote; and when the printed reasons were detailed to them; reading them with irritation。  If really compelled to hazard an opinion about each other's merits; they used to say that; no doubt 〃So…and…so〃 was 〃very good;〃 but they had never read him!  For it had early been established as the principle underlying membership not to read the writings of another man; unless you could be certain he was dead; lest you might have to tell him to his face that you disliked his work。  For they were very jealous of the purity of their literary consciences。  Exception was made; however; in the case of those who lived by written criticism; the opinions of such persons being read by all; with a varying smile; and a certain cerebral excitement。  Now and then; however; some member; violating every sense of decency; would take a violent liking for another member's books。  This he would express in words; to the discomfort of his fellows; who; with a sudden chilly feeling in the stomach; would wonder why it was not their books that he was praising。

Almost every year; and generally in March; certain aspirations would pass into the club; members would ask each other why there was no Academy of British Letters; why there was no concerted movement to limit the production of other authors' books; why there was no prize given for the best work of the year。  For a little time it almost seemed as if their individualism were in danger; but; the windows having been opened wider than usual some morning; the aspirations would pass out; and all would feel secretly as a man feels when he has swallowed the mosquito that has been worrying him all night relieved; but just a little bit embarrassed。  Socially sympathetic in their dealings with each otherthey were mostly quite nice fellows each kept a little fame…machine; on which he might be seen sitting every morning about the time the papers and his correspondence came; wondering if his fame were going up。

Hilary stayed in the club till half…past nine; then; avoiding a discussion which was just setting in; he took his own umbrella; and bent his steps towards home。

It was the moment of suspense in Piccadilly; the tide had flowed up to the theatres; and had not yet begun to ebb。  The tranquil trees; still feathery; draped their branches along the farther bank of that broad river; resting from their watch over the tragi…comedies played on its surface by men; their small companions。  The gentle sighs which distilled from their plume…like boughs seemed utterances of the softest wisdom。  Not far beyond their trunks it was all dark velvet; into which separate shapes; adventuring; were lost; as wild birds vanishing in space; or the souls of men received into their Mother's heart。

Hilary walked; hearing no sighs of wisdom; noting no smooth darkness; wrapped in thought。  The mere fact of having given pleasure was enough to produce a warm sensation in a man so naturally kind。  But; as with all self…conscious; self…distrustful; natures; that sensation had not lasted。  He  was left with a feeling of emptiness and disillusionment; as of having given himself a good mark without reason。

While walking; he was a target for the eyes of many women; who passed him rapidly; like ships in sail。  The special fastidious shyness of his face attracted those accustomed to another kind of face。  And though he did not precisely look at them; they in turn inspired in him the compassionate; morbid curiosity which persons who live desperate lives necessarily inspire in the leisured; speculative mind。  One of them deliberately approached him from a side…street。 Though taller and fuller; with heightened colour; frizzy hair; and a hat with feathers; she was the image of the little modelthe same shape of face; broad cheek…bones; mouth a little open; the same flower…coloured eyes and short black lashes; all coarsened and accentuated as Art coarsens and accentuates the lines of life。 Looking boldly into Hilary's startled face; she laughed。  Hilary winced and walked on quickly。

He reached home at half…past ten。  The lamp was burning in Mr。 Stone's room; and his window was; as usual; open; that which was not usual; however; was a light in Hilary's own bedroom。  He went gently up。  Through the door…ajar…he saw; to his surprise; the figure of his wife。  She was reclining in a chair; her elbows on its arms; the tips of her fingers pressed together。  Her face; with its dark hair; vivid colouring; and sharp lines; was touched with shadows; her head turned as though towards somebody beside her; her neck gleamed white。  So motionless; dimly seenshe was like a woman sitting alongside her own life; scrutinising; criticising; watching it live; taking no part in it。  Hilary wondered whether to go in or slip away from his strange visitor。

〃Ah! it's you;〃 she said。

Hilary approached her。  For all her mocking of her own charms; this wife of his was strangely graceful。  After nineteen years in which to learn every line of her face and body; every secret of her nature; she still eluded him; that elusiveness; which had begun by being such a charm; had got on his nerves; and extinguished the flame it had once lighted。  He had so often tried to see; and never seen; the essence of her soul。  Why was she made like this?  Why was she for ever mocking herself; himself; and every other thing?  Why was she so hard to her own life; so bitter a foe to her own happiness?  Leonardo da Vinci might have painted her; less sensual and cruel than his women; more restless and disharmonic; but physically; spiritually enticing; and; by her refusals to surrender either to her spirit or her senses; baffling her own enticements。

〃I don't know why I came;〃 she said。

Hilary found no better answer than: 〃I am sorry I was out to dinner。〃

〃Has the wind gone round?  My room is cold。〃

〃Yes; north…east。  Stay here。〃

Her hand touched his; that warm and restless clasp was agitating。

〃It's good of you to ask me; but we'd better not begin what we can't keep up。〃

〃Stay here;〃 said Hilary again; kneeling down beside her chair。

And suddenly he began to kiss her face and neck。  He felt her answering kisses; for a moment they were clasped together in a fierce embrace。  Then; as though by mutual consent; their arms relaxed; their eyes grew furtive; like the eyes of children who have egged each other on to steal; and on their lips appeared the faintest of faint smiles。  It was as though thos

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