lady susan-第13节

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Adieu。　Yours　ever；







ALICIA。























XXVII











MRS。　VERNON　TO　LADY　DE　COURCY











Churchhill。











This　letter；　my　dear　Mother；　will　be　brought　you　by　Reginald。　His　long



visit　is　about　to　be　concluded　at　last；　but　I　fear　the　separation　takes



place　too　late　to　do　us　any　good。　She　is　going　to　London　to　see　her



particular　friend；　Mrs。　Johnson。　It　was　at　first　her　intention　that



Frederica　should　accompany　her；　for　the　benefit　of　masters；　but　we



overruled　her　there。　Frederica　was　wretched　in　the　idea　of　going；　and　I



could　not　bear　to　have　her　at　the　mercy　of　her　mother；　not　all　the　masters



in　London　could　compensate　　for　the　ruin　of　her　comfort。　I　should　have



feared；　too；　for　her　health；　and　for　everything　but　her　principlesthere



I　believe　she　is　not　to　be　injured　by　her　mother；　or　her　mother's　friends；



but　with　those　friends　she　must　have　mixed　（a　very　bad　set；　I　doubt　not）；



or　have　been　left　in　total　solitude；　and　I　can　hardly　tell　which　would　have



been　worse　for　her。　If　she　is　with　her　mother；　moreover；　she　must；　alas！　in



all　probability　be　with　Reginald；　and　that　would　be　the　greatest　evil　of



all。　Here　we　shall　in　time　be　in　peace；　and　our　regular　employments；　our



books　and　conversations；　with　exercise；　the　children；　and　every　domestic



pleasure　in　my　power　to　procure　her；　will；　I　trust；　gradually　overcome　this



youthful　attachment。　I　should　not　have　a　doubt　of　it　were　she　slighted　for



any　other　woman　in　the　world　than　her　own　mother。　How　long　Lady　Susan　will



be　in　town；　or　whether　she　returns　here　again；　I　know　not。　I　could　not　be



cordial　in　my　invitation；　but　if　she　chuses　to　come　no　want　of　cordiality



on　my　part　will　keep　her　away。　I　could　not　help　asking　Reginald　if　he



intended　being　in　London　this　winter；　as　soon　as　I　found　her　ladyship's



steps　would　be　bent　thither；　and　though　he　professed　himself　quite



undetermined；　there　was　something　in　his　look　and　voice　as　he　spoke　which



contradicted　his　words。　I　have　done　with　lamentation；　I　look　upon　the　event



as　so　far　decided　that　I　resign　myself　to　it　in　despair。　If　he　leaves　you



soon　for　London　everything　will　be　concluded。







Your　affectionate；　&c。；







C。　VERNON。























XXVIII











MRS。　JOHNSON　TO　LADY　SUSAN











Edward　Street。











My　dearest　Friend；I　write　in　the　greatest　distress；　the　most



unfortunate　event　has　just　taken　place。　Mr。　Johnson　has　hit　on　the　most



effectual　manner　of　plaguing　us　all。　He　had　heard；　I　imagine；　by　some　means



or　other；　that　you　were　soon　to　be　in　London；　and　immediately　contrived　to



have　such　an　attack　of　the　gout　as　must　at　least　delay　his　journey　to　Bath；



if　not　wholly　prevent　it。　I　am　persuaded　the　gout　is　brought　on　or　kept　off



at　pleasure；　it　was　the　same　when　I　wanted　to　join　the　Hamiltons　to　the



Lakes；　and　three　years　ago；　when　I　had　a　fancy　for　Bath；　nothing　could



induce　him　to　have　a　gouty　symptom。







I　am　pleased　to　find　that　my　letter　had　so　much　effect　on　you；　and　that



De　Courcy　is　certainly　your　own。　Let　me　hear　from　you　as　soon　as　you



arrive；　and　in　particular　tell　me　what　you　mean　to　do　with　Mainwaring。　It



is　impossible　to　say　when　I　shall　be　able　to　come　to　you；　my　confinement



must　be　great。　It　is　such　an　abominable　trick　to　be　ill　here　instead　of　at



Bath　that　I　can　scarcely　command　myself　at　all。　At　Bath　his　old　aunts



would　have　nursed　him；　but　here　it　all　falls　upon　me；　and　he　bears　pain



with　such　patience　that　I　have　not　the　common　excuse　for　losing　my　temper。







Yours　ever；







ALICIA。























XXIX











LADY　SUSAN　VERNON　TO　MRS。　JOHNSON











Upper　Seymour　Street。











My　dear　Alicia；There　needed　not　this　last　fit　of　the　gout　to　make　me



detest　Mr。　Johnson；　but　now　the　extent　of　my　aversion　is　not　to　be



estimated。　To　have　you　confined　as　nurse　in　his　apartment！　My　dear　Alicia；



of　what　a　mistake　were　you　guilty　in　marrying　a　man　of　his　age！　just　old



enough　to　be　formal；　ungovernable；　and　to　have　the　gout；　too　old　to　be



agreeable；　too　young　to　die。　I　arrived　last　night　about　five；　had　scarcely



swallowed　my　dinner　when　Mainwaring　made　his　appearance。　I　will　not



dissemble　what　real　pleasure　his　sight　afforded　me；　nor　how　strongly　I　felt



the　contrast　between　his　person　and　manners　and　those　of　Reginald；　to　the



infinite　disadvantage　of　the　latter。　For　an　hour　or　two　I　was　even



staggered　in　my　resolution　of　marrying　him；　and　though　this　was　too　idle



and　nonsensical　an　idea　to　remain　long　on　my　mind；　I　do　not　feel　very　eager



for　the　conclusion　of　my　marriage；　nor　look　forward　with　much　impatience　to



the　time　when　Reginald；　according　to　our　agreement；　is　to　be　in　town。　I



shall　probably　put　off　his　arrival　under　some　pretence　or　other。　He　must



not　come　till　Mainwaring　is　gone。　I　am　still　doubtful　at　times　as　to



marrying；　if　the　old　man　would　die　I　might　not　hesitate；　but　a　state　of



dependance　on　the　caprice　of　Sir　Reginald　will　not　suit　the　freedom　of　my



spirit；　and　if　I　resolve　to　wait　for　that　event；　I　shall　have　excuse　enough



at　present　in　having　been　scarcely　ten　months　a　widow。　I　have　not　given



Mainwaring　any　hint　of　my　intention；　or　allowed　him　to　consider　my



acquaintance　with　Reginald　as　more　than　the　commonest　flirtation；　and　he　is



tolerably　appeased。　Adieu；　till　we　meet；　I　am　enchanted　with　my　lodgings。







Yours　ever；







S。　VERNON。























XXX











LADY　SUSAN　VERNON　TO　MR。　DE　COURCY











Upper　Seymour　Street。











I　have　received　your　letter；　and　though　I　do　not　attempt　to　conceal　that



I　am　gratified　by　your　impatience　for　the　hour　of　meeting；　I　yet　feel



myself　under　the　necessity　of　delaying　that　hour　beyond　the　time　originally



fixed。　Do　not　think　me　unkind　for　such　an　exercise　of　my　power；　nor　accuse



me　of　instability　without　first　hearing　my　reasons。　In　the　course　of　my



journey　from　Churchhill　I　had　ample　leisure　for　reflection　on　the　present



state　of　our　affairs；　and　every　review　has　served　to　convince　me　that　they



require　a　delicacy　and　cautiousness　of　conduct　to　which　we　have　hitherto



been　too　little　attentive。　We　have　been　hurried　on　by　our　feelings　to　a



degree　of　precipitation　which　ill　accords　with　the　claims　of　our　friends　or



the　opinion　of　the　world。　We　have　been　unguarded　in　forming　this　hasty



engagement；　but　we　must　not　complete　the　imprudence　by　ratifying　it　while



there　is　so　much　reason　to　fear　the　connection　would　be　opposed　by　those



friends　on　whom　you　depend。　It　is　not　for　us　to　blame　any　expectations　on



your　father's　side　of　your　marrying　to　advantage；　where　possessions　are　so



extensive　as　those　of　your　family；　the　wish　of　increasing　them；　if　not



strictly　reasonable；　is　too　common　to　excite　surprize　or　resentment。　He　has



a　right　to　require；　a　woman　of　fortune　in　his　daughter…in…law；　and　I　am



sometimes　quarrelling　with　myself　for　suffering　you　to　form　a　connection　so



imprudent；　but　the　influence　of　reason　is　often　acknowledged　too　late　by



those　who　feel　like　me。　I　have　now　been　but　a　few　months　a　widow；　and；



however　little　indebted　to　my　husband's　memory　for　any　happiness　derived



from　him　during　a　union　of　some　years；　I　cannot　forget　that　the　indelicacy



of　so　early　a　second　marriage　must　subject　me　to　the　censure　of　the　world；



and　incur；　what　would　be　still　more　insupportable；　the　displeasure　of　Mr。



Vernon。　I　might　perhaps　harden　myself　in　time　against　the　injustice　of



general　reproach；　but　the　loss　of　HIS　valued　esteem　I　am；　as　you　well　know；



ill…fitted　to　endure；　and　when　to　this　may　be　added　the　consciousness　of



having　injured　you　with　your　family；　how　am　I　to　support　myself？　With



feelings　so　poignant　as　mine；　the　conviction　of　having　divided　the　son　from



his　parents　would　make　me；　even　with　you；　the　most　miserable　of　beings。　It



will　surely；　therefore；　be　advisable　to　delay　our　unionto　delay　it　till



appearances　are　more　promisingtill　affairs　have　taken　a　more　favourable



turn。　To　assist　us　In　such　a　resolution　I　feel　that　absence　will　be



necessary。　We　must　not　meet。　Cruel　as　this　sentence　may　appear；　the



necessity　of　pronouncing　it；　which　can　alone　reconcile　it　to　myself；　will



be　evident　to　you　when　you　have　considered　our　　situation　in　the　light　in



which　I　have　found　myself　imperiously　obliged　to　place　it。　You　may　beyou



must　bewell　assured　that　nothing　but　the