pathology of lying-第27节
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An intelligent relative gave an account of the facts。 Amanda has been tried in a number of households； but has been given up by everyone after a short period of trial。 Her word is found so unreliable that in general she is regarded as thoroughly untrustworthy。 This particular relative； who is most interested in her； tells us she thinks the girl is mentally peculiar。 She states that in general her mind is both romantic and rambling。 She constantly has the idea that her beauty will bring her a wealthy husband。 She lies about other people to these relatives and about them to others。 They have a comfortable home and are very anxious for Amanda to do well； and many times have had serious talks with her； all to no purpose。 They themselves have attempted to analyze the nature of the girl's characteristics； and say it is quite evident that the telling of untruths with this girl is the result of quick reaction on her part。 Fictions of all kinds come up in her mind constantly and are uttered quickly。 It is doubtful whether she premeditates her stories。 She has threatened suicide。 They think she is the biggest liar that ever lived and can't understand how she can engage in such unforesighted behavior unless she is somewhat abnormal。 Only once did they ever notice anything suggestive of a mental peculiarity other than her lying。 Then she did talk quite incoherently and at random for a time （she is a great talker anyhow）； but later she said she realized what she had done； and said not to mind hershe had just let her tongue rattle on and did not mean anything by it。
On two or three occasions Amanda has started to school in the morning and wandered off and kept going all day。 She had been immoral with boys； but not to any great extent。 She undertook to be religious for a time； but her sincerity was always in question。 She knows the character of her own mother and threatens at times to follow in her tracks。
The racial heredity of this girl is a strange mixture。 Her father was a Scandinavian and her mother colored。 The maternal grandfather was colored； and the maternal grandmother was an alcoholic Irish woman and died in an insane hospital。 It is possible； also； that there is Indian blood in the family。 The mother kept an immoral resort and drank at times。 The father is said； even by his wife's relative； to have died some years ago of a broken heart about her career。 She died of tuberculosis a few years after him。 Amanda was the only child。 About the early developmental history we have no reliable information。 The girl was taken by relatives before her mother died； but was allowed to visit her； and there was evidently real affection between mother and daughter。 Long contention over religious affairs in the family led to some bickering about placing the girl。
We found Amanda to be rather a good looking girl with very slight evidences of colored blood。 Quiet and normal in her attitude and expression。 Slightly builtweight 93 lbs。； height 4 ft。 10 in。 Vision R。 20/80； L。 20/25。 Coarse tremor of outstretched hands。 No evidence of specific disease。 All other examination negative。 The girl complains of occasional sick headaches with photophobia。 Pelvic examination by a specialist negative。
On the mental side we quickly found we had to deal with a girl of decidedly good general ability。 Tests were almost uniformly done well。 Memory processes decidedly good span for eight numbers auditorily and for seven numbers visually。 No evidence whatever of aberration。
Results on the ‘‘Aussage'' test： Amanda on free recital gave 12 details of the picture； on questioning she mentioned 32 more items； but a dozen of these were incorrect。 Of 7 suggestions offered she accepted 6。 This was an exceptionally inaccurate performance。
In the course of our study of this case we obtained from Amanda a very good account of her own life； deeply tragic in its details； and a probably correct analysis of her beginnings in lying。 It seems that she remembers well her mother； particularly in the later visits which the relatives allowed。 These must have been when she was about 5 or 6 years old。 ‘‘I know a lot。 There isn't anything bad that I have not seen and heard。 I try to forget it； but I can't。 What's the use anyhow？ When I think of my mother it all comes up again。 When I was very little I would sit in a room with my mother and a crowd of her friends and they would say everything in front of me。 I would see men and women go into rooms and I kept wondering what they did in there。 I think I was quicker and sharper then than I am now。 I think I was about 3 when I used to see them smoking and drinking。 Then I used to think it was all right。 I thought it was swell and that I would like to do it too。 I thought about it a lot。 Mother； you see； would tell me to be good one minute and the next would teach me how to swear。 I remember once when I was about 7 they brought her home drunk。 She looked terrible。 I can close my eyes and see her just as plainly as if it is there before me。 A protective society once found me and took me to their place。 Then I lived with my grandfather。 Mother stole me from them and then my uncle took me。 I lived around in lots of places。 I have done lots of bad things。 。 。 。 。
‘‘I picture these things tooI can't help it。 The pictures come up in my mind as plain as can benot just at night； but in the daytime too。 The only thing I have ever been really afraid of is the dark。 Then I imagine I hear people talking。 I see things too。 I see whole shows that I have been to。 But then； as I have said； I see them when I'm awake and in the daytime。 I dream about them also。 Sometimes they are so real I don't know whether I'm asleep or awake。 For instance； a long time ago I read Peck's Bad Boy and I can see those pictures now just as plain as when I read the book。 It is always that way about what I read。 The things I read I always see in pictures。 It's that way with the love stories too。 I used to read lots and lots of them。 I like to read about murders。 I can see those too。 When I read about the R。 murder in the papers lately I just felt like I was there。 I could see everything he did。 I don't know why I like to read such things so much。 It was the same way last winter。 I read a story with suicide in it and someway I just wanted to commit suicide myself。 I did go to the railroad tracks and stood around until the train came and then walked away。 。 。 。 。
‘‘My aunt says that I am too attractive and that I stare at the men。 Well； when she was with me a man did stare at me and I stared back at him。 I could have turned my head away； but I'm not that kind of a girl。 I'm a bad girl。 Everyone believes me so and I might just as well be。 When I was little in my mother's place I used to smoke and drink。 I dream every nightoften about men doing bad things。 I wake up and sit up to see if men are there or if they are gone。 My dreams are always just that plain。 If I read a book I can sit down and imagine all the people are right before me。 I can get it just by reading。 If anybody speaks to me I jump； and it is all gone。 When I go to the theatre or the nickel show I can come home and see the whole show over again。 I have been that way ever since I could understand things。 When I was small and people would tell me things I could imagine them right in front of me。 Even now I will be sitting still and I will imagine I see my mother taking me up in the way she used to。 When I came to see her she would rock me to sleep； and I can plainly see her lying in the coffin。 Often I think I see my mother brought home drunk。
‘‘If I have anything to recite in school I just think of it all the time。 I dream a good deal about what that boy did and about these other things。 I can sit and think of everything he did to me。 I go to bed and I lie awake and think all these things and I can't get them off my mind and then I start to dreaming about them。
‘‘There is always this troublemy mother wasn't good and I can't be good。 That's what people say； but； of course； that's not so。 I know I start talking to girls about these things when they are talking to me。 I sometimes think that things will come backthat the Chicago fire is coming back； and that slavery is coming back。
‘‘About my lying？ I don't know why I tell things like that about my aunt committing suicideit just came into my head。 Oh； I've got lots of things in my head。 I never had any chance to forget。 I can't forget at school。 School does not interest me any more。 That's why I want to go to work。 Perhaps then I should be interested in something new。
‘‘I used to tell lots of things that were not so out there at P。 Sometimes I did it as a joke and sometimes I meant it。 It is hard sometimes to tell just what is the truth； I imagine things so hard。 I can remember lots that I've read。''
Amanda in several interviews went on at great length in a very rational way； but altogether the gist of her view of her case is to be found in the above。 She told that she was a masturbator； as might be supposed。 She feels she can't help this and never felt it was so particularly bad。 Apparently it is a part of her life of imagination at n
