the autobiography of a quack-第4节

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ething　had　to　be　done。

It　occurred　to　me；　about　this　time；　that　if　I　moved　into　a　more　genteel　locality　I　might　get　a　better　class　of　patients；　and　yet　keep　the　best　of　those　I　now　had。　To　do　this　it　was　necessary　to　pay　my　rent；　and　the　more　　so　because　I　was　in　a　fair　way　to　have　no　house　at　all　over　my　head。　But　here　fortune　interposed。　I　was　caught　in　a　heavy　rainstorm　on　Seventh　Street；　and　ran　to　catch　an　omnibus。　As　I　pulled　open　the　door　I　saw　behind　me　the　Quaker　woman；　Miss　Barker。　I　laughed　and　jumped　in。　She　had　to　run　a　little　before　the　'bus　again　stopped。　She　got　pretty　wet。　An　old　man　in　the　corner；　who　seemed　in　the　way　of　taking　charge　of　other　people's　manners；　said　to　me：　‘‘Young　man；　you　ought　to　be　ashamed　to　get　in　before　the　lady；　and　in　this　pour；　too！''

I　said　calmly；　‘‘But　you　got　in　before　her。''

He　made　no　reply　to　this　obvious　fact；　as　he　might　have　been　in　the　bus　a　half…hour。　A　large；　well…dressed　man　near　by　said；　with　a　laugh；　‘‘Rather　neat；　that；''　and；　turning；　tried　to　pull　up　a　window…sash。　In　the　effort　something　happened；　and　he　broke　the　glass；　cutting　his　hand　in　half　a　dozen　places。　While　he　was　using　several　quite　profane　phrases；　I　caught　his　hand　and　said；　‘‘I　am　a　surgeon；''　and　tied　my　handkerchief　around　the　bleeding　palm。

The　guardian　of　manners　said；　‘‘I　hope　you　are　not　much　hurt；　but　there　was　no　reason　why　you　should　swear。''

On　this　my　patient　said；　‘‘Go　to　；''　which　silenced　the　monitor。

I　explained　to　the　wounded　man　that　the　cuts　should　be　looked　after　at　once。　The　matter　was　arranged　by　our　leaving　the　'bus；　and；　as　the　rain　had　let　up；　walking　to　his　house。　This　was　a　large　and　quite　luxurious　dwelling　on　Fourth　street。　There　I　cared　for　his　wounds；　which；　as　I　had　informed　him；　required　immediate　attention。　It　was　at　this　time　summer；　and　his　wife　and　niece；　the　only　other　members　of　his　family；　were　absent。　On　my　second　visit　I　made　believe　to　remove　some　splinters　of　glass　which　I　brought　with　me。　He　said　they　showed　how　shamefully　thin　was　that　omnibus　window…　pane。　To　my　surprise；　my　patient；　at　the　end　of　the　month；for　one　wound　was　long　in　healing；presented　me　with　one　hundred　dollars。　This　paid　my　small　rental；　and　as　Mr。　Poynter　allowed　me　to　refer　to　him；　I　was　able　to　get　a　better　office　and　bedroom　on　Spruce　street。　I　saw　no　more　of　my　patient　until　winter；　although　I　learned　that　he　was　a　stock…broker；　not　in　the　very　best　repute；　but　of　a　well…known　family。

Meanwhile　my　move　had　been　of　small　use。　I　was　wise　enough；　however；　to　keep　up　my　　connection　with　my　former　clients；　and　contrived　to　live。　It　was　no　more　than　that。　One　day　in　December　I　was　overjoyed　to　see　Mr。　Poynter　enter。　He　was　a　fat　man；　very　pale；　and　never；　to　my　remembrance；　without　a　permanent　smile。　He　had　very　civil　ways；　and　now　at　once　I　saw　that　he　wanted　something。

I　hated　the　way　that　man　saw　through　me。　He　went　on　without　hesitation；　taking　me　for　granted。　He　began　by　saying　he　had　confidence　in　my　judgment；　and　when　a　man　says　that　you　had　better　look　out。　He　said　he　had　a　niece　who　lived　with　him；　a　brother's　child；　that　she　was　out　of　health　and　ought　not　to　marry；　which　was　what　she　meant　to　do。　She　was　scared　about　her　health；　because　she　had　a　cough；　and　had　lost　a　brother　of　consumption。　I　soon　came　to　understand　that；　for　reasons　unknown　to　me；　my　friend　did　not　wish　his　niece　to　marry。　His　wife；　he　also　informed　me；　was　troubled　as　to　the　niece's　health。　Now；　he　said；　he　wished　to　consult　me　as　to　what　he　should　do。　I　suspected　at　once　that　he　had　not　told　me　all。

I　have　often　wondered　at　the　skill　with　which　I　managed　this　rather　delicate　matter。　I　knew　I　was　not　well　enough　known　to　be　of　direct　use；　and　was　also　too　young　　to　have　much　weight。　I　advised　him　to　get　Professor　C。

Then　my　friend　shook　his　head。　He　said　in　reply；　‘‘But　suppose；　doctor；　he　says　there　is　nothing　wrong　with　the　girl？''

Then　I　began　to　understand　him。

‘‘Oh；''　I　said；　‘‘you　get　a　confidential　written　opinion　from　him。　You　can　make　it　what　you　please　when　you　tell　her。''

He　said　no。　It　would　be　best　for　me　to　ask　the　professor　to　see　Miss　Poynter；　might　mention　my　youth；　and　so　on；　as　a　reason。　I　was　to　get　his　opinion　in　writing。

‘‘Well？''　said　I。

‘‘After　that　I　want　you　to　write　me　a　joint　opinion　to　meet　the　caseall　the　needs　of　the　case；　you　see。''

I　saw；　but　hesitated　as　to　how　much　would　make　it　worth　while　to　pull　his　hot　chestnuts　out　of　the　fireone　never　knows　how　hot　the　chestnuts　are。


Then　he　said；　‘‘Ever　take　a　chance　in　stocks？''

I　said；　‘‘No。''

He　said　that　he　would　lend　me　a　little　money　and　see　what　he　could　do　with　it。　And　here　was　his　receipt　from　me　for　one　thousand　dollars；　and　here；　too；　was　my　order　to　　buy　shares　of　P。　T。　Y。　Would　I　please　to　Sign　it？　I　did。

I　was　to　call　in　two　days　at　his　house；　and　meantime　I　could　think　it　over。　It　seemed　to　me　a　pretty　weak　plan。　Suppose　the　young　womanwell；　supposing　is　awfully　destructive　of　enterprise；　and　as　for　me；　I　had　only　to　misunderstand　the　professor's　opinion。　I　went　to　the　house；　and　talked　to　Mr。　Poynter　about　his　gout。　Then　Mrs。　Poynter　came　in；　and　began　to　lament　her　niece's　declining　health。　After　that　I　saw　Miss　Poynter。　There　is　a　kind　of　innocent…looking　woman　who　knows　no　more　of　the　world　than　a　young　chicken；　and　is　choke…full　of　emotions。　I　saw　it　would　be　easy　to　frighten　her。　There　are　some　instruments　anybody　can　get　any　tune　they　like　out　of。　I　was　very　grave；　and　advised　her　to　see　the　professor。　And　would　I　write　to　ask　him；　said　Mr。　Poynter。　I　said　I　would。

As　I　went　out　Mr。　Poynter　remarked：　‘‘You　will　clear　some　four　hundred　easy。　Write　to　the　professor。　Bring　my　receipt　to　the　office　next　week；　and　we　will　settle。''

We　settled。　I　tore　up　his　receipt　and　gave　him　one　for　fifteen　hundred　dollars；　and　received　in　notes　five　hundred　dollars。

In　a　day　or　so　I　had　a　note　from　the　professor　stating　that　Miss　Poynter　was　in　no　peril；　that　she　was；　as　he　thought；　worried；　and　had　only　a　mild　bronchial　trouble。　He　advised　me　to　do　so…and…so；　and　had　ventured　to　reassure　my　young　patient。　Now；　this　was　a　little　more　than　I　wanted。　However；　I　wrote　Mr。　Poynter　that　the　professor　thought　she　had　bronchitis；　that　in　her　case　tubercle　would　be　very　apt　to　follow；　and　that　at　present；　and　until　she　was　safe；　we　considered　marriage　undesirable。

Mr。　Poynter　said　it　might　have　been　put　stronger；　but　he　would　make　it　do。　He　made　it。　The　first　effect　was　an　attack　of　hysterics。　The　final　result　was　that　she　eloped　with　her　lover；　because　if　she　was　to　die；　as　she　wrote　her　aunt；　she　wished　to　die　in　her　husband's　arms。　Human　nature　plus　hysteria　will　defy　all　knowledge　of　character。　This　was　what　our　old　professor　of　practice　used　to　say。

Mr。　Poynter　had　now　to　account　for　a　large　trust　estate　which　had　somehow　dwindled。　Unhappily；　princes　are　not　the　only　people　in　whom　you　must　not　put　your　trust。　As　to　myself；　Professor　L。　somehow　got　to　know　the　facts；　and　cut　me　dead。　It　was　　unpleasant；　but　I　had　my　five　hundred　dollars；　andI　needed　them。　I　do　not　see　how　I　could　have　been　more　careful。

After　this　things　got　worse。　Mr。　Poynter　broke；　and　did　not　even　pay　my　last　bill。　I　had　to　accept　several　rather　doubtful　cases；　and　once　a　policeman　I　knew　advised　me　that　I　had　better　be　on　my　guard。

But；　really；　so　long　as　I　adhered　to　the　common　code　of　my　profession　I　was　in　danger　of　going　without　my　dinner。

Just　as　I　was　at　my　worst　and　in　despair　something　always　turned　up；　but　it　was　sure　to　be　risky；　and　now　my　aunt　refused　to　see　me；　and　Peninnah　wrote　me　goody…goody　letters；　and　said　Aunt　Rachel　had　been　unable　to　find　certain　bank…notes　she　had　hidden；　and　vowed　I　had　taken　them。　This　Peninnah　did　not　think　possible。　I　agreed　with　her。　The　notes　were　found　somewhat　later　by　Peninnah　in　the　toes　of　a　pair　of　my　aunt's　old　slippers。　Of　course　I　wrote　an　indignant　letter。　My　aunt　declared　that　Peninnah　had　stolen　the　notes；　and　restored　them　when　they　were　missed。　Poor　Peninnah！　This　did　not　seem　to　me　very　likely；　but　Peninnah　did　love　fine　clothes。

One　night；　as　I　was　debating　with　myself　　as　to　how　I　was　to　improve　my　position；　I　heard　a　knock　on　my　shutter；　and；　going　to　the　door；　let　in　a　broad…shouldered　man　with　a　whisky　face　and　a　great　hooked　nose。　He　wore　a　heavy　black　beard　and　mustache；　and　looked　like　the　wolf　in　the　pictures　of　Red　Riding…hood　which　I　had　seen　as　a　child。

‘‘Your　name's　Sanderaft？''　said　the　man。

‘‘Yes；　that's　my　nameDr。　Sanderaft。''

As　he　sat　down　he　shook　the　snow　over　everything；　and　said　coolly：　‘‘Set　down；　doc；　I　want　to　talk　with　you。''

‘‘What　can　I　do　for　you？''　said　I。

The　man　looked　around　the　room　rather　scornfully；　at　the　same　time　throwing　back　his　coat　and　displaying　a　red　neckerchief　and　a　huge　garnet　pin。　‘‘Guess　you're　not　overly　rich；''　he　said。

‘‘Not　especially；''　said　I。　‘‘What's　that　your　business？''

He　did　not　answer；　but　merely　said；　‘‘Know　Simon　Stagers？''

‘‘Can't　say　I　do；''　said　I；　cautiously。　Simon　was　a　burglar　who　had　blown　off　two　fingers　when　mining　a　safe。　I　had　attended　him　while　he　was　hiding。

‘‘Can't　say　you　do。　Well；　you　can　lie；　and　no　mistake。　Come；　now；