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Of course we recovered from our unexpected shame; and the tale of the

table and the dancing plates was not told as a sad one。 But it is a sad

one when you think of it。



I was not there to see Lin get his bride。 I learned from the Virginian

how the victorious puncher had ridden away across the sunny sagebrush;

bearing the biscuit…shooter with him to the nearest justice of the peace。

She was astride the horse he had brought for her。



〃Yes; he beat Tommy;〃 said the Virginian。 〃Some folks; anyway; get what

they want in this hyeh world。〃



From which I inferred that Miss Molly Wood was harder to beat than Tommy。







LIN McLEAN'S HONEY…MOON



Rain had not fallen for some sixty days; and for some sixty more there

was no necessity that it should fall。 It is spells of weather like this

that set the Western editor writing praise and prophecy of the boundless

fertility of the soilwhen irrigated; and of what an Eden it can be

madewith irrigation; but the spells annoy the people who are trying to

raise the Eden。 We always told the transient Eastern visitor; when he

arrived at Cheyenne and criticised the desert; that anything would grow

herewith irrigation; and sometimes he replied; unsympathetically; that

anything could flywith wings。 Then we would lead such a man out and

show him six; eight; ten square miles of green crops; and he; if he was

thoroughly nasty; would mention that Wyoming contained ninety…five

thousand square miles; all waiting for irrigation and Eden。 One of these

Eastern supercivilized hostiles from New York was breakfasting with the

Governor and me at the Cheyenne Club; and we were explaining to him the

glorious future; the coming empire; of the Western country。 Now the

Governor was about thirty…two; and until twenty…five had never gone West

far enough to see over the top of the Alleghany Mountains。 I was not a

pioneer myself; and why both of us should have pitied the New…Yorker's

narrowness so hard I cannot see。 But we did。 We spoke to him of the size

of the country。 We told him that his State could rattle round inside

Wyoming's stomach without any inconvenience to Wyoming; and he told us

that this was because Wyoming's stomach was empty。 Altogether I began to

feel almost sorry that I had asked him to come out for a hunt; and had

travelled in haste all the way from Bear Creek to Cheyenne expressly to

meet him。



〃For purposes of amusement;〃 he said; 〃I'll admit anything you claim for

this place。 Ranches; cowboys; elk; it's all splendid。 Only; as an

investment I prefer the East。 Am I to see any cowboys?〃



〃You shall;〃 I said; and I distinctly hoped some of them might do

something to him 〃for purposes of amusement。〃



〃You fellows come up with me to my office;〃 said the Governor。 〃I'll look

at my mail; and show you round。〃 So we went with him through the heat and

sun。



〃What's that?〃 inquired the New…Yorker; whom I shall call James Ogden。



〃That is our park;〃 said I。 〃Of course it's merely in embryo。 It's

wonderful how quickly any shade tree will grow here wi〃 I checked

myself。



But Ogden said 〃with irrigation〃 for me; and I was entirely sorry he had

come。



We reached the Governor's office; and sat down while he looked his

letters over。



〃Here you are; Ogden;〃 said he。 〃Here's the way we hump ahead out here。〃

And he read us the following:



                           〃MAGAW; KANSAS; July 5; 188



〃Hon。 Amory W。 Baker:



〃Sir;Understanding that your district is suffering from a prolonged

drought; I write to say that for necessary expenses paid I will be glad

to furnish you with a reasonably shower。 I have operated successfully in

Australia; Mexico; and several States of the Union; and am anxious to

exhibit my system。 If your Legislature will appropriate a sum to cover;

as I said; merely my necessary expensessay 350 (three hundred and

fifty dollars)for half an inch I will guarantee you that quantity of

rain or forfeit the money。 If I fail to give you the smallest fraction of

the amount contracted for; there is to be no pay。 Kindly advise me of

what date will be most convenient for you to have the shower。 I require

twenty…four hours' preparation。 Hoping a favorable reply;



                           〃I am; respectfully yours;

                                〃Robert Hilbrun〃



〃Will the Legislature do it?〃 inquired Ogden in good faith。



The Governor laughed boisterously。 〃I guess it wouldn't be

constitutional;〃 said he。



〃Oh; bother!〃 said Ogden。



〃My dear man;〃 the Governor protested; 〃I know we're new; and our women

vote; and we're a good deal of a joke; but we're not so progressively

funny as all that。 The people wouldn't stand it。 Senator Warren would fly

right into my back hair。〃 Barker was also new as Governor。



〃Do you have Senators here too?〃 said Ogden; raising his eyebrows。 〃What

do they look like? Are they females?〃 And the Governor grew more

boisterous than ever; slapping his knee and declaring that these Eastern

men were certainly out of sight。〃 Ogden; however; was thoughtful。



〃I'd have been willing to chip in for that rain myself;〃 he said。



〃That's an idea!〃 cried the Governor。 〃Nothing unconstitutional about

that。 Let's see。 Three hundred and fifty dollars〃



〃I'll put up a hundred;〃 said Ogden; promptly。 〃I'm out for a Western

vacation; and I'll pay for a good specimen。〃



The Governor and I subscribed more modestly; and by noon; with the help

of some lively minded gentlemen of Cheyenne; we had the purse raised。 〃He

won't care;〃 said the Governor; 〃whether it's a private enterprise or a

municipal step; so long as he gets his money。〃



〃He won't get it; I'm afraid;〃 said Ogden。 〃But if he succeeds in

tempting Providence to that extent; I consider it cheap。 Now what do you

call those people there on the horses?〃



We were walking along the track of the Cheyenne and Northern; and looking

out over the plain toward Fort Russell。 〃That is a cow…puncher and his

bride;〃 I answered; recognizing the couple。



〃Real cow…puncher?〃



〃Quite。 The puncher's name is Lin McLean。〃



〃Real bride?〃



〃I'm afraid so。〃



〃She's riding straddle!〃 exclaimed the delighted Ogden; adjusting his

glasses。 〃Why do you object to their union being holy?〃



I explained that my friend Lin had lately married an eating…house lady

precipitately and against my advice。



〃I suppose he knew his business;〃 observed Ogden。



〃That's what he said to me at the time。 But you ought to see herand

know him。〃



Ogden was going to。 Husband and wife were coming our way。 Husband nodded

to me his familiar offish nod; which concealed his satisfaction at

meeting with an old friend。 Wife did not look at me at all。 But I looked

at her; and I instantly knew that Linthe fool!had confided to her my

disapproval of their marriage。 The most delicate specialty upon earth is

your standing with your old friend's new wife。



〃Good…day; Mr。 McLean;〃 said the Governor to the cow…puncher on his

horse。



〃How're are yu'; doctor;〃 said Lin。 During his early days in Wyoming the

Governor; when as yet a private citizen; had set Mr。 McLean's broken leg

at Drybone。 〃Let me make yu' known to Mrs。 McLean;〃 pursued the husband。



The lady; at a loss how convention prescribes the greeting of a bride to

a Governor; gave a waddle on the pony's back; then sat up stiff; gazed

haughtily at the air; and did not speak or show any more sign than a cow

would under like circumstances。 So the Governor marched cheerfully at

her; extending his hand; and when she slightly moved out toward him her

big; dumb; red fist; he took it and shook it; and made her a series of

compliments; she maintaining always the scrupulous reserve of the cow。



〃I say;〃 Ogden whispered to me while Barker was pumping the hand of the

flesh image; 〃I'm glad I came。〃 The appearance of the puncher…bridegroom

also interested Ogden; and he looked hard at Lin's leather chaps and

cartridge…belt and so forth。 Lin stared at the New…Yorker; and his high

white collar and good scarf。 He had seen such things quite often; of

course; but they always filled him with the same distrust of the man that

wore them。



〃Well;〃 said he; 〃I guess we'll be pulling for a hotel。 Any show in town?

Circus come yet?〃



〃No;〃 said I。 〃Are you going to make a long stay?〃



The cow…puncher glanced at the image; his bride of three weeks。 〃Till

we're tired of it; I guess;〃 said he; with hesitation。 It was the first

time that I had ever seen my gay friend look timidly at any one; and I

felt a rising hate for the ruby…checked; large…eyed eating…house lady;

the biscuit…shooter whose influence was dimming this jaunty;

irrepressible spirit。 I looked at her。 Her bulky bloom had ensnared him;

and now she was going to tame and spoil him。 The Governor was looking at

her too; thoughtfully。



〃Say; Lin;〃 I said; 〃if you stay here long enough you'll 

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