droll stories-3-第3节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



pat　the　cat　and　pat　the　dog；　to　salute　the　friends；　to　flatter　the

gout；　or　the　cold　of　the　aunt；　to　say　to　her　at　opportune　moments　〃You

have　good　looks；　and　will　yet　write　the　epitaph　of　the　human　race。〃　To

please　all　the　relations；　to　tread　on　no　one's　corns；　to　break　no

glasses；　to　waste　no　breath；　to　talk　nonsense；　to　hold　ice　in　his

hand；　to　say；　〃This　is　good！〃　or；　〃Really；　madam；　you　are　very

beautiful　so。〃　And　to　vary　that　in　a　hundred　different　ways。　To　keep

himself　cool；　to　bear　himself　like　a　nobleman；　to　have　a　free　tongue

and　a　modest　one；　to　endure　with　a　smile　all　the　evils　the　devil　may

invent　on　his　behalf；　to　smother　his　anger；　to　hold　nature　in　control；

to　have　the　finger　of　God；　and　the　tail　of　the　devil；　to　reward　the

mother；　the　cousin；　the　servant；　in　fact；　to　put　a　good　face　on

everything。　In　default　of　which　the　female　escapes　and　leaves　you　in　a

fix；　without　giving　a　single　Christian　reason。　In　fact；　the　lover　of

the　most　gentle　maid　that　God　ever　created　in　a　good…tempered　moment；

had　he　talked　like　a　book；　jumped　like　a　flea；　turned　about　like　dice；

played　like　King　David；　and　built　for　the　aforesaid　woman　the

Corinthian　order　of　the　columns　of　the　devil；　if　he　failed　in　the

essential　and　hidden　thing　which　pleases　his　lady　above　all　others；

which　often　she　does　not　know　herself　and　which　he　has　need　to　know；

the　lass　leaves　him　like　a　red　leper。　She　is　quite　right。　No　one　can

blame　her　for　so　doing。　When　this　happens　some　men　become　ill…

tempered；　cross；　and　more　wretched　than　you　can　possibly　imagine。　Have

not　many　of　them　killed　themselves　through　this　petticoat　tyranny？　In

this　matter　the　man　distinguishes　himself　from　the　beast；　seeing　that

no　animal　ever　yet　lost　his　senses　through　blighted　love；　which　proves

abundantly　that　animals　have　no　souls。　The　employment　of　a　lover　is

that　of　a　mountebank；　of　a　soldier；　of　a　quack；　of　a　buffoon；　of　a

prince；　of　a　ninny；　of　a　king；　of　an　idler；　of　a　monk；　of　a　dupe；　of　a

blackguard；　of　a　liar；　of　a　braggart；　of　a　sycophant；　of　a　numskull；

of　a　frivolous　fool；　of　a　blockhead；　of　a　know…nothing；　of　a　knave。　An

employment　from　which　Jesus　abstained；　in　imitation　of　whom　folks　of

great　understanding　likewise　disdain　it；　it　is　a　vocation　in　which　a

man　of　worth　is　required　to　spend　above　all　things；　his　time；　his

life；　his　blood；　his　best　words；　besides　his　heart；　his　soul；　and　his

brain；　things　to　which　the　women　are　cruelly　partial；　because　directly

their　tongues　begin　to　go；　they　say　among　themselves　that　if　they　have

not　the　whole　of　a　man　they　have　none　of　him。　Be　sure；　also；　that

there　are　cats；　who；　knitting　their　eyebrows；　complain　that　a　man　does

but　a　hundred　things　for　them；　for　the　purpose　of　finding　out　if　there

be　a　hundred；　at　first　seeing　that　in　everything　they　desire　the　most

thorough　spirit　of　conquest　and　tyranny。　And　this　high　jurisprudence

has　always　flourished　among　the　customs　of　Paris；　where　the　women

receive　more　wit　at　their　baptism　than　in　any　other　place　in　the

world；　and　thus　are　mischievous　by　birth。



But　our　silversmith；　always　busy　at　his　work；　burnishing　gold　and

melting　silver；　had　no　time　to　warm　his　love　or　to　burnish　and　make

shine　his　fantasies；　nor　to　show　off；　gad　about；　waste　his　time　in

mischief；　or　to　run　after　she…males。　Now　seeing　that　in　Paris　virgins

do　not　fall　into　the　beds　of　young　men　any　more　than　roast　pheasants

into　the　streets；　not　even　when　the　young　men　are　royal　silversmiths；

the　Touranian　had　the　advantage　of　having；　as　I　have　before　observed；

a　continent　member　in　his　shirt。　However；　the　good　man　could　not　close

his　eyes　to　the　advantage　of　nature　with　which　were　so　amply　furnished

the　ladies　with　whom　he　dilated　upon　the　value　of　his　jewels。　So　it

was　that；　after　listening　to　the　gentle　discourse　of　the　ladies；　who

tried　to　wheedle　and　to　fondle　him　to　obtain　a　favour　from　him；　the

good　Touranian　would　return　to　his　home；　dreamy　as　a　poet；　wretched　as

a　restless　cuckoo；　and　would　say　to　himself；　〃I　must　take　to　myself　a

wife。　She　would　keep　the　house　tidy；　keep　the　plates　hot　for　me；　fold

the　clothes　for　me；　sew　my　buttons　on；　sing　merrily　about　the　house；

tease　me　to　do　everything　according　to　her　taste；　would　say　to　me　as

they　all　say　to　their　husbands　when　they　want　a　jewel；　'Oh；　my　own

pet；　look　at　this；　is　it　not　pretty？'　And　every　one　in　the　quarter

will　think　of　my　wife　and　then　of　me；　and　say　'There's　a　happy　man。'

Then　the　getting　married；　the　bridal　festivities；　to　fondle　Madame

Silversmith；　to　dress　her　superbly；　give　her　a　fine　gold　chain；　to

worship　her　from　crown　to　toe；　to　give　her　the　whole　management　of　the

house；　except　the　cash；　to　give　her　a　nice　little　room　upstairs；　with

good　windows；　pretty；　and　hung　around　with　tapestry；　with　a　wonderful

chest　in　it　and　a　fine　large　bed；　with　twisted　columns　and　curtains　of

yellow　silk。　He　would　buy　her　beautiful　mirrors；　and　there　would

always　be　a　dozen　or　so　of　children；　his　and　hers；　when　he　came　home

to　greet　him。〃　Then　wife　and　children　would　vanish　into　the　clouds。　He

transferred　his　melancholy　imaginings　to　fantastic　designs；　fashioned

his　amorous　thoughts　into　grotesque　jewels　that　pleased　their　buyers

well；　they　not　knowing　how　many　wives　and　children　were　lost　in　the

productions　of　the　good　man；　who；　the　more　talent　he　threw　into　his

art；　the　more　disordered　he　became。　Now　if　God　had　not　had　pity　upon

him；　he　would　have　quitted　this　world　without　knowing　what　love　was；

but　would　have　known　it　in　the　other　without　that　metamorphosis　of　the

flesh　which　spares　it；　according　to　Monsieur　Plato；　a　man　of　some

authority；　but　who；　not　being　a　Christian；　was　wrong。　But；　there！

these　preparatory　digressions　are　the　idle　digressions　and　fastidious

commentaries　which　certain　unbelievers　compel　a　man　to　wind　about　a

tale；　swaddling　clothes　about　an　infant　when　it　should　run　about　stark

naked。　May　the　great　devil　give　them　a　clyster　with　his　red…hot　three…

pronged　fork。　I　am　going　on　with　my　story　now　without　further

circumlocution。



This　is　what　happened　to　the　silversmith　in　the　one…and…fortieth　year

of　his　age。　One　Sabbath…day　while　walking　on　the　left　bank　of　the

Seine；　led　by　an　idle　fancy；　he　ventured　as　far　as　that　meadow　which

has　since　been　called　the　Pre…aux…Clercs　and　which　at　that　time　was　in

the　domain　of　the　abbey　of　St。　Germain；　and　not　in　that　of　the

University。　There；　still　strolling　on　the　Touranian　found　himself　in

the　open　fields；　and　there　met　a　poor　young　girl　who；　seeing　that　he

was　well…dressed；　curtsied　to　him；　saying　〃Heaven　preserve　you；

monseigneur。〃　In　saying　this　her　voice　had　such　sympathetic　sweetness

that　the　silversmith　felt　his　soul　ravished　by　this　feminine　melody；

and　conceived　an　affection　for　the　girl；　the　more　so　as；　tormented

with　ideas　of　marriage　as　he　was；　everything　was　favourable　thereto。

Nevertheless；　as　he　had　passed　the　wench　by　he　dared　not　go　back；

because　he　was　as　timid　as　a　young　maid　who　would　die　in　her

petticoats　rather　than　raise　them　for　her　pleasure。　But　when　he　was　a

bowshot　off　he　bethought　him　that　he　was　a　man　who　for　ten　years　had

been　a　master　silversmith；　had　become　a　citizen；　and　was　a　man　of

mark；　and　could　look　a　woman　in　the　face　if　his　fancy　so　led　him；　the

more　so　as　his　imagination　had　great　power　over　him。　So　he　turned

suddenly　back；　as　if　he　had　changed　the　direction　of　his　stroll；　and

came　upon　the　girl；　who　held　by　an　old　cord　her　poor　cow；　who　was

munching　grass　that　had　grown　on　the　border　of　a　ditch　at　the　side　of

the　road。



〃Ah；　my　pretty　one；〃　said　he；　〃you　are　not　overburdened　with　the　goods

of　this　world　that　you　thus　work　with　your　hands　upon　the　Lord's　Day。

Are　you　not　afraid　of　being　cast　into　prison？〃



〃Monseigneur；〃　replied　the　maid；　casting　down　her　eyes；　〃I　have

nothing　to　fear；　because　I　belong　to　the　abbey。　The　Lord　Abbot　has

given　me　leave　to　exercise　the　cow　after　vespers。〃



〃You　love　your　cow；　then；　more　than　the　salvation　of　your　soul？〃



〃Ah；　monseigneur；　our　beast　is　almost　the　half　of　our　poor　lives。〃



〃I　am　astonished；　my　girl；　to　see　you　poor　and　in　rags；　clothed　like　a

fagot；　running　barefoot　about　the　fields　on　the　Sabbath；　when　you

carry　about　you　more　treasures　than　you　could　dig　up　in　the　grounds　of

the　abbey。　Do　not　the　townspeople　pursue；　and　torment　you　with　love？〃



〃Oh；　never　monseigneur。　I　belong　to　the　abbey〃；　replied　she；　showing

the　jeweller　a　collar　on　her　left　arm　like　those　that　the　beasts　of

the　field　have；　but　without　the　little　bell；　and　at　the　same　time

casting　such　a　deplorable　glance　at　our　townsman　that　he　was　stricken

quite　sad；　for　by　the　eyes　are　communicated　contagions　of　the　heart

when　they　are　strong。



〃And　what　does　this　mean？〃　he　said；　wishing　to　hear　all　about　it。



And　he　touched　the　collar；　upon　which　was　engraved　the　arms　of　the

abbey　very　distinctly；　but　which　he　did　not　wish　to　see。



〃Monseign