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第72节

david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第72节

小说: david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔) 字数: 每页4000字

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likely to meet him。 To say ‘How do you do; Mr。 Larkins? Are the 
young ladies and all the family quite well?’ seems so pointed; that I 
blush。 

I think continually about my age。 Say I am seventeen; and say 
that seventeen is young for the eldest Miss Larkins; what of that? 
Besides; I shall be one…and…twenty in no time almost。 I regularly 
take walks outside Mr。 Larkins’s house in the evening; though it 
cuts me to the heart to see the officers go in; or to hear them up in 
the drawing…room; where the eldest Miss Larkins plays the harp。 I 
even walk; on two or three occasions; in a sickly; spoony manner; 
round and round the house after the family are gone to bed; 
wondering which is the eldest Miss Larkins’s chamber (and 
pitching; I dare say now; on Mr。 Larkins’s instead); wishing that a 
fire would burst out; that the assembled crowd would stand 
appalled; that I; dashing through them with a ladder; might rear it 
against her window; save her in my arms; go back for something 
she had left behind; and perish in the flames。 For I am generally 
disinterested in my love; and think I could be content to make a 
figure before Miss Larkins; and expire。 

Generally; but not always。 Sometimes brighter visions rise 
before me。 When I dress (the occupation of two hours); for a great 
ball given at the Larkins’s (the anticipation of three weeks); I 
indulge my fancy with pleasing images。 I picture myself taking 
courage to make a declaration to Miss Larkins。 I picture Miss 
Larkins sinking her head upon my shoulder; and saying; ‘Oh; Mr。 
Copperfield; can I believe my ears!’ I picture Mr。 Larkins waiting 
on me next morning; and saying; ‘My dear Copperfield; my 
daughter has told me all。 Youth is no objection。 Here are twenty 

Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics 


David Copperfield 

thousand pounds。 Be happy!’ I picture my aunt relenting; and 
blessing us; and Mr。 Dick and Doctor Strong being present at the 
marriage ceremony。 I am a sensible fellow; I believe—I believe; on 
looking back; I mean—and modest I am sure; but all this goes on 
notwithstanding。 I repair to the enchanted house; where there are 
lights; chattering; music; flowers; officers (I am sorry to see); and 
the eldest Miss Larkins; a blaze of beauty。 She is dressed in blue; 
with blue flowers in her hair—forget…me…nots—as if SHE had any 
need to wear forget…me…nots。 It is the first really grown…up party 
that I have ever been invited to; and I am a little uncomfortable; 
for I appear not to belong to anybody; and nobody appears to have 
anything to say to me; except Mr。 Larkins; who asks me how my 
schoolfellows are; which he needn’t do; as I have not come there to 
be insulted。 

But after I have stood in the doorway for some time; and 
feasted my eyes upon the goddess of my heart; she approaches 
me—she; the eldest Miss Larkins!—and asks me pleasantly; if I 
dance? 

I stammer; with a bow; ‘With you; Miss Larkins。’ 

‘With no one else?’ inquires Miss Larkins。 

‘I should have no pleasure in dancing with anyone else。’ 

Miss Larkins laughs and blushes (or I think she blushes); and 
says; ‘Next time but one; I shall be very glad。’ 

The time arrives。 ‘It is a waltz; I think;’ Miss Larkins doubtfully 
observes; when I present myself。 ‘Do you waltz? If not; Captain 
Bailey—’ 

But I do waltz (pretty well; too; as it happens); and I take Miss 
Larkins out。 I take her sternly from the side of Captain Bailey。 He 
is wretched; I have no doubt; but he is nothing to me。 I have been 

Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics 


David Copperfield 

wretched; too。 I waltz with the eldest Miss Larkins! I don’t know 
where; among whom; or how long。 I only know that I swim about 
in space; with a blue angel; in a state of blissful delirium; until I 
find myself alone with her in a little room; resting on a sofa。 She 
admires a flower (pink camellia japonica; price half…a…crown); in 
my button…hole。 I give it her; and say: 

‘I ask an inestimable price for it; Miss Larkins。’ 

‘Indeed! What is that?’ returns Miss Larkins。 

‘A flower of yours; that I may treasure it as a miser does gold。’ 

‘You’re a bold boy;’ says Miss Larkins。 ‘There。’ 

She gives it me; not displeased; and I put it to my lips; and then 
into my breast。 Miss Larkins; laughing; draws her hand through 
my arm; and says; ‘Now take me back to Captain Bailey。’ 

I am lost in the recollection of this delicious interview; and the 
waltz; when she comes to me again; with a plain elderly gentleman 
who has been playing whist all night; upon her arm; and says: ‘Oh! 
here is my bold friend! Mr。 Chestle wants to know you; Mr。 
Copperfield。’ 

I feel at once that he is a friend of the family; and am much 
gratified。 

‘I admire your taste; sir;’ says Mr。 Chestle。 ‘It does you credit。 I 
suppose you don’t take much interest in hops; but I am a pretty 
large grower myself; and if you ever like to come over to our 
neighbourhood—neighbourhood of Ashford—and take a run 
about our place;—we shall be glad for you to stop as long as you 
like。’ 

I thank Mr。 Chestle warmly; and shake hands。 I think I am in a 
happy dream。 I waltz with the eldest Miss Larkins once again。 She 
says I waltz so well! I go home in a state of unspeakable bliss; and 

Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics 


David Copperfield 

waltz in imagination; all night long; with my arm round the blue 
waist of my dear divinity。 For some days afterwards; I am lost in 
rapturous reflections; but I neither see her in the street; nor when 
I call。 I am imperfectly consoled for this disappointment by the 
sacred pledge; the perished flower。 

‘Trotwood;’ says Agnes; one day after dinner。 ‘Who do you think 
is going to be married tomorrow? Someone you admire。’ 

‘Not you; I suppose; Agnes?’ 

‘Not me!’ raising her cheerful face from the music she is 
copying。 ‘Do you hear him; Papa?—The eldest Miss Larkins。’ 

‘To—to Captain Bailey?’ I have just enough power to ask。 

‘No; to no Captain。 To Mr。 Chestle; a hop…grower。’ 

I am terribly dejected for about a week or two。 I take off my 
ring; I wear my worst clothes; I use no bear’s grease; and I 
frequently lament over the late Miss Larkins’s faded flower。 Being; 
by that time; rather tired of this kind of life; and having received 
new provocation from the butcher; I throw the flower away; go out 
with the butcher; and gloriously defeat him。 

This; and the resumption of my ring; as well as of the bear’s 
grease in moderation; are the last marks I can discern; now; in my 
progress to seventeen。 

Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics 


David Copperfield 

Chapter 19 

I LOOK ABOUT ME; AND MAKE A DISCOVERY 

Iam doubtful whether I was at heart glad or sorry; when my 
school…days drew to an end; and the time came for my leaving 
Doctor Strong’s。 I had been very happy there; I had a great 
attachment for the Doctor; and I was eminent and distinguished in 
that little world。 For these reasons I was sorry to go; but for other 
reasons; unsubstantial enough; I was glad。 Misty ideas of being a 
young man at my own disposal; of the importance attaching to a 
young man at his own disposal; of the wonderful things to be seen 
and done by that magnificent animal; and the wonderful effects he 
could not fail to make upon society; lured me away。 So powerful 
were these visionary considerations in my boyish mind; that I 
seem; according to my present way of thinking; to have left school 
without natural regret。 The separation has not made the 
impression on me; that other separations have。 I try in vain to 
recall how I felt about it; and what its circumstances were; but it is 
not momentous in my recollection。 I suppose the opening prospect 
confused me。 I know that my juvenile experiences went for little or 
nothing then; and that life was more like a great fairy story; which 
I was just about to begin to read; than anything else。 

My aunt and I had held many grave deliberations on the calling 
to which I should be devoted。 For a year or more I had 
endeavoured to find a satisfactory answer to her often…repeated 
question; ‘What I would like to be?’ But I had no particular liking; 
that I could discover; for anything。 If I could have been inspired 

Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics 


David Copperfield 

with a knowledge of the science of navigation; taken the command 
of a fast…sailing expedition; and gone round the world on a 
triumphant voyage of discovery; I think I might have considered 
myself completely suited。 But; in the absence of any such 
miraculous provision; my desire was to apply myself to some 
pursuit that would not lie too heavily upon her purse; and to do 
my duty in it; whatever it might be。 

Mr。 Dick had regularly assisted at our councils; with a 
meditative and sage demeanour。 He never made a suggestion but 
once; and on that occasion (I don’t know what put it in his head); 
he suddenly proposed that I should be ‘a Brazier’。 My aunt 
received this proposal so very ungraciously; that he never 
ventured on a second; but ever afterwards confined himself to

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