david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第70节

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I　felt　the　utmost　sympathy　for　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Micawber　in　this　
anxious　extremity；　and　said　as　much　to　Mr。　Micawber；　who　now　
returned：　adding　that　I　only　wished　I　had　money　enough；　to　lend　
them　the　amount　they　needed。　Mr。　Micawber’s　answer　expressed　
the　disturbance　of　his　mind。　He　said；　shaking　hands　with　me；　
‘Copperfield；　you　are　a　true　friend；　but　when　the　worst　comes　to　
the　worst；　no　man　is　without　a　friend　who　is　possessed　of　shaving　
materials。’　At　this　dreadful　hint　Mrs。　Micawber　threw　her　arms　
round　Mr。　Micawber’s　neck　and　entreated　him　to　be　calm。　He　
wept；　but　so　far　recovered；　almost　immediately；　as　to　ring　the　bell　
for　the　waiter；　and　bespeak　a　hot　kidney　pudding　and　a　plate　of　
shrimps　for　breakfast　in　the　morning。　

When　I　took　my　leave　of　them；　they　both　pressed　me　so　much　to　
come　and　dine　before　they　went　away；　that　I　could　not　refuse。　But；　
as　I　knew　I　could　not　come　next　day；　when　I　should　have　a　good　
deal　to　prepare　in　the　evening；　Mr。　Micawber　arranged　that　he　
would　call　at　Doctor　Strong’s　in　the　course　of　the　morning　（having　
a　presentiment　that　the　remittance　would　arrive　by　that　post）；　and　

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propose　the　day　after；　if　it　would　suit　me　better。　Accordingly　I　was　
called　out　of　school　next　forenoon；　and　found　Mr。　Micawber　in　the　
parlour；　who　had　called　to　say　that　the　dinner　would　take　place　as　
proposed。　When　I　asked　him　if　the　remittance　had　come；　he　
pressed　my　hand　and　departed。　

As　I　was　looking　out　of　window　that　same　evening；　it　surprised　
me；　and　made　me　rather　uneasy；　to　see　Mr。　Micawber　and　Uriah　
Heep　walk　past；　arm　in　arm：　Uriah　humbly　sensible　of　the　honour　
that　was　done　him；　and　Mr。　Micawber　taking　a　bland　delight　in　
extending　his　patronage　to　Uriah。　But　I　was　still　more　surprised；　
when　I　went　to　the　little　hotel　next　day　at　the　appointed　dinner…
hour；　which　was　four　o’clock；　to　find；　from　what　Mr。　Micawber　
said；　that　he　had　gone　home　with　Uriah；　and　had　drunk　brandy…
and…water　at　Mrs。　Heep’s。　

‘And　I’ll　tell　you　what；　my　dear　Copperfield；’　said　Mr。　
Micawber；　‘your　friend　Heep　is　a　young　fellow　who　might　be　
attorney…general。　If　I　had　known　that　young　man；　at　the　period　
when　my　difficulties　came　to　a　crisis；　all　I　can　say　is；　that　I　believe　
my　creditors　would　have　been　a　great　deal　better　managed　than　
they　were。’　

I　hardly　understood　how　this　could　have　been；　seeing　that　Mr。　
Micawber　had　paid　them　nothing　at　all　as　it　was；　but　I　did　not　like　
to　ask。　Neither　did　I　like　to　say；　that　I　hoped　he　had　not　been　too　
communicative　to　Uriah；　or　to　inquire　if　they　had　talked　much　
about　me。　I　was　afraid　of　hurting　Mr。　Micawber’s　feelings；　or；　at　all　
events；　Mrs。　Micawber’s；　she　being　very　sensitive；　but　I　was　
uncomfortable　about　it；　too；　and　often　thought　about　it　afterwards。　

We　had　a　beautiful　little　dinner。　Quite　an　elegant　dish　of　fish；　
the　kidney…end　of　a　loin　of　veal；　roasted；　fried　sausage…meat；　a　

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partridge；　and　a　pudding。　There　was　wine；　and　there　was　strong　
ale；　and　after　dinner　Mrs。　Micawber　made　us　a　bowl　of　hot　punch　
with　her　own　hands。　

Mr。　Micawber　was　uncommonly　convivial。　I　never　saw　him　such　
good　company。　He　made　his　face　shine　with　the　punch；　so　that　it　
looked　as　if　it　had　been　varnished　all　over。　He　got　cheerfully　
sentimental　about　the　town；　and　proposed　success　to　it；　observing　
that　Mrs。　Micawber　and　himself　had　been　made　extremely　snug　
and　comfortable　there　and　that　he　never　should　forget　the　
agreeable　hours　they　had　passed　in　Canterbury。　He　proposed　me　
afterwards；　and　he；　and　Mrs。　Micawber；　and　I；　took　a　review　of　our　
past　acquaintance；　in　the　course　of　which　we　sold　the　property　all　
over　again。　Then　I　proposed　Mrs。　Micawber：　or；　at　least；　said；　
modestly；　‘If　you’ll　allow　me；　Mrs。　Micawber；　I　shall　now　have　the　
pleasure　of　drinking　your　health；　ma’am。’　On　which　Mr。　Micawber　
delivered　an　eulogium　on　Mrs。　Micawber’s　character；　and　said　she　
had　ever　been　his　guide；　philosopher；　and　friend；　and　that　he　
would　recommend　me；　when　I　came　to　a　marrying　time　of　life；　to　
marry　such　another　woman；　if　such　another　woman　could　be　
found。　

As　the　punch　disappeared；　Mr。　Micawber　became　still　more　
friendly　and　convivial。　Mrs。　Micawber’s　spirits　becoming　elevated；　
too；　we　sang　‘Auld　Lang　Syne’。　When　we　came　to　‘Here’s　a　hand；　
my　trusty　frere’；　we　all　joined　hands　round　the　table；　and　when　we　
declared　we　would　‘take　a　right　gude　Willie　Waught’；　and　hadn’t　
the　least　idea　what　it　meant；　we　were　really　affected。　

In　a　word；　I　never　saw　anybody　so　thoroughly　jovial　as　Mr。　
Micawber　was；　down　to　the　very　last　moment　of　the　evening；　when　
I　took　a　hearty　farewell　of　himself　and　his　amiable　wife。　

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Consequently；　I　was　not　prepared；　at　seven　o’clock　next　morning；　
to　receive　the　following　communication；　dated　half　past　nine　in　the　
evening；　a　quarter　of　an　hour　after　I　had　left　him：—　

‘My　DEAR　YOUNG　FRIEND；　

‘The　die　is　cast—all　is　over。　Hiding　the　ravages　of　care　with　a　
sickly　mask　of　mirth；　I　have　not　informed　you；　this　evening；　that　
there　is　no　hope　of　the　remittance！　Under　these　circumstances；　
alike　humiliating　to　endure；　humiliating　to　contemplate；　and　
humiliating　to　relate；　I　have　discharged　the　pecuniary　liability　
contracted　at　this　establishment；　by　giving　a　note　of　hand；　made　
payable　fourteen　days　after　date；　at　my　residence；　Pentonville；　
London。　When　it　becomes　due；　it　will　not　be　taken　up。　The　result　
is　destruction。　The　bolt　is　impending；　and　the　tree　must　fall。　

‘Let　the　wretched　man　who　now　addresses　you；　my　dear　
Copperfield；　be　a　beacon　to　you　through　life。　He　writes　with　that　
intention；　and　in　that　hope。　If　he　could　think　himself　of　so　much　
use；　one　gleam　of　day　might；　by　possibility；　penetrate　into　the　
cheerless　dungeon　of　his　remaining　existence—though　his　
longevity　is；　at　present　（to　say　the　least　of　it）；　extremely　
problematical。　

‘This　is　the　last　communication；　my　dear　Copperfield；　you　will　
ever　receive　
‘From　
The　
‘Beggared　Outcast；　
‘WILKINS　MICAWBER。’　

I　was　so　shocked　by　the　contents　of　this　heart…rending　letter；　

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that　I　ran　off　directly　towards　the　little　hotel　with　the　intention　of　
taking　it　on　my　way　to　Doctor　Strong’s；　and　trying　to　soothe　Mr。　
Micawber　with　a　word　of　comfort。　But；　half…way　there；　I　met　the　
London　coach　with　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Micawber　up　behind；　Mr。　
Micawber；　the　very　picture　of　tranquil　enjoyment；　smiling　at　Mrs。　
Micawber’s　conversation；　eating　walnuts　out　of　a　paper　bag；　with　a　
bottle　sticking　out　of　his　breast　pocket。　As　they　did　not　see　me；　I　
thought　it　best；　all　things　considered；　not　to　see　them。　So；　with　a　
great　weight　taken　off　my　mind；　I　turned　into　a　by…street　that　was　
the　nearest　way　to　school；　and　felt；　upon　the　whole；　relieved　that　
they　were　gone；　though　I　still　liked　them　very　much；　nevertheless。　

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Chapter　18　

A　RETROSPECT　

My　school…days！　The　silent　gliding　on　of　my　existence—　
the　unseen；　unfelt　progress　of　my　life—from　childhood　
up　to　youth！　Let　me　think；　as　I　look　back　upon　that　
flowing　water；　now　a　dry　channel　overgrown　with　leaves；　whether　
there　are　any　marks　along　its　course；　by　which　I　can　remember　
how　it　ran。　

A　moment；　and　I　occupy　my　place　in　the　Cathedral；　where　we　
all　went　together；　every　Sunday　morning；　assembling　first　at　
school　for　that　purpose。　The　earthy　smell；　the　sunless　air；　the　
sensation　of　the　world　being　shut　out；　the　resounding　of　the　organ　
through　the　black　and　white　arched　galleries　and　aisles；　are　wings　
that　take　me　back；　and　hold　me　hovering　above　those　days；　in　a　
half…sleeping　and　half…waking　dream。　

I　am　not　the　last　boy　in　the　school。　I　have　risen　in　a　few　months；　
over　several　heads。　But　the　first　boy　seems　to　me　a　mighty　
creature；　dwelling　afar　off；　whose　giddy　height　is　unattainable。　
Agnes　says　‘No；’　but　I　say　‘Yes；’　and　tell　her　that　she　little　thinks　
what　stores　of　knowledge　have　been　mastered　by　the　wonderful　
Being；　at　whose　place　she　thinks　I；　even　I；　weak　aspirant；　may　
arrive　in　time。　He　is　not　my　private　friend　and　public　patron；　as　
Steerforth　was；　but　I　hold　him　in　a　reverential　respect。　I　chiefly　
wonder　what　he’ll　be；　when　he　leaves　Doctor　Strong’s；　and　what　
mankind　will　do　to　maintain　any　place　against　him。　

But　who　is　this　that　breaks　upon　me？　This　is　Miss　Shepherd；　

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whom　I　love。　

Miss　Shepherd　is　a　boarder　at　the　Misses　Nettingalls’　
establishment。　I　adore　Miss　Shepherd。　She　is　a　little　girl；　in　a　
spencer；　with　a　round　face　and　curly　flaxen　hair。　The　Misses　
Nettingalls’　young　ladies　come　to　the　Cathedral　too。　I　cannot　look　
upon　my　book；　for　I　must　look　upon　Miss　Shepherd。　When　the　
choristers　chaunt；　I　hear　Miss　Shepherd。　In　the　service　I　mentally　
insert　Miss　Shepherd’s　name—I　put　her　in　among　the　Royal　
Family。　A