david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第40节
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I had exhausted the mental faculties of Mr。 Barkis； little Em’ly and
I made a cloak of an old wrapper； and sat under it for the rest of
the journey。 Ah； how I loved her！ What happiness （I thought） if we
were married； and were going away anywhere to live among the
trees and in the fields； never growing older； never growing wiser；
children ever； rambling hand in hand through sunshine and
among flowery meadows； laying down our heads on moss at night；
in a sweet sleep of purity and peace； and buried by the birds when
we were dead！ Some such picture； with no real world in it； bright
with the light of our innocence； and vague as the stars afar off； was
in my mind all the way。 I am glad to think there were two such
guileless hearts at Peggotty’s marriage as little Em’ly’s and mine。 I
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
am glad to think the Loves and Graces took such airy forms in its
homely procession。
Well； we came to the old boat again in good time at night； and
there Mr。 and Mrs。 Barkis bade us good…bye； and drove away
snugly to their own home。 I felt then； for the first time； that I had
lost Peggotty。 I should have gone to bed with a sore heart indeed
under any other roof but that which sheltered little Em’ly’s head。
Mr。 Peggotty and Ham knew what was in my thoughts as well
as I did； and were ready with some supper and their hospitable
faces to drive it away。 Little Em’ly came and sat beside me on the
locker for the only time in all that visit； and it was altogether a
wonderful close to a wonderful day。
It was a night tide； and soon after we went to bed； Mr。 Peggotty
and Ham went out to fish。 I felt very brave at being left alone in
the solitary house； the protector of Em’ly and Mrs。 Gummidge；
and only wished that a lion or a serpent； or any ill…disposed
monster； would make an attack upon us； that I might destroy him；
and cover myself with glory。 But as nothing of the sort happened
to be walking about on Yarmouth flats that night； I provided the
best substitute I could by dreaming of dragons until morning。
With morning came Peggotty； who called to me； as usual； under
my window as if Mr。 Barkis the carrier had been from first to last a
dream too。 After breakfast she took me to her own home； and a
beautiful little home it was。 Of all the moveables in it； I must have
been impressed by a certain old bureau of some dark wood in the
parlour （the tile…floored kitchen was the general sitting…room）；
with a retreating top which opened； let down； and became a desk；
within which was a large quarto edition of Foxe’s Book of Martyrs。
This precious volume； of which I do not recollect one word； I
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
immediately discovered and immediately applied myself to； and I
never visited the house afterwards； but I kneeled on a chair；
opened the casket where this gem was enshrined； spread my arms
over the desk； and fell to devouring the book afresh。 I was chiefly
edified； I am afraid； by the pictures； which were numerous； and
represented all kinds of dismal horrors； but the Martyrs and
Peggotty’s house have been inseparable in my mind ever since；
and are now。
I took leave of Mr。 Peggotty； and Ham； and Mrs。 Gummidge；
and little Em’ly； that day； and passed the night at Peggotty’s； in a
little room in the roof （with the Crocodile Book on a shelf by the
bed’s head） which was to be always mine； Peggotty said； and
should always be kept for me in exactly the same state。
‘Young or old； Davy dear； as long as I am alive and have this
house over my head；’ said Peggotty； ‘you shall find it as if I
expected you here directly minute。 I shall keep it every day； as I
used to keep your old little room； my darling； and if you was to go
to China； you might think of it as being kept just the same； all the
time you were away。’
I felt the truth and constancy of my dear old nurse； with all my
heart； and thanked her as well as I could。 That was not very well；
for she spoke to me thus； with her arms round my neck； in the
morning； and I was going home in the morning； and I went home
in the morning； with herself and Mr。 Barkis in the cart。 They left
me at the gate； not easily or lightly； and it was a strange sight to
me to see the cart go on； taking Peggotty away； and leaving me
under the old elm…trees looking at the house； in which there was
no face to look on mine with love or liking any more。
And now I fell into a state of neglect； which I cannot look back
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
upon without compassion。 I fell at once into a solitary condition；—
apart from all friendly notice； apart from the society of all other
boys of my own age； apart from all companionship but my own
spiritless thoughts；—which seems to cast its gloom upon this
paper as I write。
What would I have given； to have been sent to the hardest
school that ever was kept！—to have been taught something；
anyhow； anywhere！ No such hope dawned upon me。 They disliked
me； and they sullenly； sternly； steadily； overlooked me。 I think Mr。
Murdstone’s means were straitened at about this time； but it is
little to the purpose。 He could not bear me； and in putting me from
him he tried； as I believe； to put away the notion that I had any
claim upon him—and succeeded。
I was not actively ill…used。 I was not beaten； or starved； but the
wrong that was done to me had no intervals of relenting； and was
done in a systematic； passionless manner。 Day after day； week
after week； month after month； I was coldly neglected。 I wonder
sometimes； when I think of it； what they would have done if I had
been taken with an illness； whether I should have lain down in my
lonely room； and languished through it in my usual solitary way；
or whether anybody would have helped me out。
When Mr。 and Miss Murdstone were at home； I took my meals
with them； in their absence； I ate and drank by myself。 At all times
I lounged about the house and neighbourhood quite disregarded；
except that they were jealous of my making any friends： thinking；
perhaps； that if I did； I might complain to someone。 For this
reason； though Mr。 Chillip often asked me to go and see him （he
was a widower； having； some years before that； lost a little small
light…haired wife； whom I can just remember connecting in my
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
own thoughts with a pale tortoise…shell cat）； it was but seldom that
I enjoyed the happiness of passing an afternoon in his closet of a
surgery； reading some book that was new to me； with the smell of
the whole Pharmacopoeia coming up my nose； or pounding
something in a mortar under his mild directions。
For the same reason； added no doubt to the old dislike of her； I
was seldom allowed to visit Peggotty。 Faithful to her promise； she
either came to see me； or met me somewhere near； once every
week； and never empty…handed； but many and bitter were the
disappointments I had； in being refused permission to pay a visit
to her at her house。 Some few times； however； at long intervals； I
was allowed to go there； and then I found out that Mr。 Barkis was
something of a miser； or as Peggotty dutifully expressed it； was ‘a
little near’； and kept a heap of money in a box under his bed；
which he pretended was only full of coats and trousers。 In this
coffer； his riches hid themselves with such a tenacious modesty；
that the smallest instalments could only be tempted out by artifice；
so that Peggotty had to prepare a long and elaborate scheme； a
very Gunpowder Plot； for every Saturday’s expenses。
All this time I was so conscious of the waste of any promise I
had given； and of my being utterly neglected； that I should have
been perfectly miserable； I have no doubt； but for the old books。
They were my only comfort； and I was as true to them as they
were to me； and read them over and over I don’t know how many
times more。
I now approach a period of my life； which I can never lose the
remembrance of； while I remember anything： and the recollection
of which has often； without my invocation； come before me like a
ghost； and haunted happier times。
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
I had been out； one day； loitering somewhere； in the listless；
meditative manner that my way of life engendered； when； turning
the corner of a lane near our house； I came upon Mr。 Murdstone
walking with a gentleman。 I was confused； and was going by them；
when the gentleman cried：
‘What！ Brooks！’
‘No； sir； David Copperfield；’ I said。
‘Don’t tell me。 You are Brooks；’ said the gentleman。 ‘You are
Brooks of Sheffield。 That’s your name。’
At these words； I observed the gentleman more attentively。 His
laugh coming to my remembrance too； I knew him to be Mr。
Quinion； whom I had gone over to Lowestoft with Mr。 Murdstone
to see； before—it is no matter—I need not recall when。
‘And how do you get on； and where are you being educated；
Brooks？’ said Mr。 Quinion。
He had p
