david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第32节

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dropped　it。　

‘My　dear　Jane！’　cried　my　mother。　

‘Good　heavens；　Clara；　do　you　see？’　exclaimed　Miss　Murdstone。　

‘See　what；　my　dear　Jane？’　said　my　mother；　‘where？’　

‘He’s　got　it！’　cried　Miss　Murdstone。　‘The　boy　has　got　the　baby！’　

She　was　limp　with　horror；　but　stiffened　herself　to　make　a　dart　
at　me；　and　take　it　out　of　my　arms。　Then；　she　turned　faint；　and　was　
so　very　ill　that　they　were　obliged　to　give　her　cherry　brandy。　I　was　
solemnly　interdicted　by　her；　on　her　recovery；　from　touching　my　
brother　any　more　on　any　pretence　whatever；　and　my　poor　mother；　
who；　I　could　see；　wished　otherwise；　meekly　confirmed　the　
interdict；　by　saying：　‘No　doubt　you　are　right；　my　dear　Jane。’　

On　another　occasion；　when　we　three　were　together；　this　same　
dear　baby—it　was　truly　dear　to　me；　for　our　mother’s　sake—was　the　
innocent　occasion　of　Miss　Murdstone’s　going　into　a　passion。　My　
mother；　who　had　been　looking　at　its　eyes　as　it　lay　upon　her　lap；　
said：　

‘Davy！　come　here！’　and　looked　at　mine。　

I　saw　Miss　Murdstone　lay　her　beads　down。　

‘I　declare；’　said　my　mother；　gently；　‘they　are　exactly　alike。　I　
suppose　they　are　mine。　I　think　they　are　the　colour　of　mine。　But　
they　are　wonderfully　alike。’　

‘What　are　you　talking　about；　Clara？’　said　Miss　Murdstone。　

‘My　dear　Jane；’　faltered　my　mother；　a　little　abashed　by　the　
harsh　tone　of　this　inquiry；　‘I　find　that　the　baby’s　eyes　and　Davy’s　

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David　Copperfield　

are　exactly　alike。’　

‘Clara！’　said　Miss　Murdstone；　rising　angrily；　‘you　are　a　positive　
fool　sometimes。’　

‘My　dear　Jane；’　remonstrated　my　mother。　

‘A　positive　fool；’　said　Miss　Murdstone。　‘Who　else　could　compare　
my　brother’s　baby　with　your　boy？　They　are　not　at　all　alike。　They　
are　exactly　unlike。　They　are　utterly　dissimilar　in　all　respects。　I　
hope　they　will　ever　remain　so。　I　will　not　sit　here；　and　hear　such　
comparisons　made。’　With　that　she　stalked　out；　and　made　the　door　
bang　after　her。　

In　short；　I　was　not　a　favourite　with　Miss　Murdstone。　In　short；　I　
was　not　a　favourite　there　with　anybody；　not　even　with　myself；　for　
those　who　did　like　me　could　not　show　it；　and　those　who　did　not；　
showed　it　so　plainly　that　I　had　a　sensitive　consciousness　of　always　
appearing　constrained；　boorish；　and　dull。　

I　felt　that　I　made　them　as　uncomfortable　as　they　made　me。　If　I　
came　into　the　room　where　they　were；　and　they　were　talking　
together　and　my　mother　seemed　cheerful；　an　anxious　cloud　would　
steal　over　her　face　from　the　moment　of　my　entrance。　If　Mr。　
Murdstone　were　in　his　best　humour；　I　checked　him。　If　Miss　
Murdstone　were　in　her　worst；　I　intensified　it。　I　had　perception　
enough　to　know　that　my　mother　was　the　victim　always；　that　she　
was　afraid　to　speak　to　me　or　to　be　kind　to　me；　lest　she　should　give　
them　some　offence　by　her　manner　of　doing　so；　and　receive　a　
lecture　afterwards；　that　she　was　not　only　ceaselessly　afraid　of　her　
own　offending；　but　of　my　offending；　and　uneasily　watched　their　
looks　if　I　only　moved。　Therefore　I　resolved　to　keep　myself　as　much　
out　of　their　way　as　I　could；　and　many　a　wintry　hour　did　I　hear　the　
church　clock　strike；　when　I　was　sitting　in　my　cheerless　bedroom；　

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wrapped　in　my　little　great…coat；　poring　over　a　book。　

In　the　evening；　sometimes；　I　went　and　sat　with　Peggotty　in　the　
kitchen。　There　I　was　comfortable；　and　not　afraid　of　being　myself。　
But　neither　of　these　resources　was　approved　of　in　the　parlour。　The　
tormenting　humour　which　was　dominant　there　stopped　them　
both。　I　was　still　held　to　be　necessary　to　my　poor　mother’s　training；　
and；　as　one　of　her　trials；　could　not　be　suffered　to　absent　myself。　

‘David；’　said　Mr。　Murdstone；　one　day　after　dinner　when　I　was　
going　to　leave　the　room　as　usual；　‘I　am　sorry　to　observe　that　you　
are　of　a　sullen　disposition。’　

‘As　sulky　as　a　bear！’　said　Miss　Murdstone。　

I　stood　still；　and　hung　my　head。　

‘Now；　David；’　said　Mr。　Murdstone；　‘a　sullen　obdurate　
disposition　is；　of　all　tempers；　the　worst。’　

‘And　the　boy’s　is；　of　all　such　dispositions　that　ever　I　have　seen；’　
remarked　his　sister；　‘the　most　confirmed　and　stubborn。　I　think；　my　
dear　Clara；　even　you　must　observe　it？’　

‘I　beg　your　pardon；　my　dear　Jane；’　said　my　mother；　‘but　are　you　
quite　sure—I　am　certain　you’ll　excuse　me；　my　dear　Jane—that　you　
understand　Davy？’　

‘I　should　be　somewhat　ashamed　of　myself；　Clara；’　returned　Miss　
Murdstone；　‘if　I　could　not　understand　the　boy；　or　any　boy。　I　don’t　
profess　to　be　profound；　but　I　do　lay　claim　to　common　sense。’　

‘No　doubt；　my　dear　Jane；’　returned　my　mother；　‘your　
understanding　is　very　vigorous—’　

‘Oh　dear；　no！　Pray　don’t　say　that；　Clara；’　interposed　Miss　
Murdstone；　angrily。　

‘But　I　am　sure　it　is；’　resumed　my　mother；　‘and　everybody　knows　
it　is。　I　profit　so　much　by　it　myself；　in　many　ways—at　least　I　ought　

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to—that　no　one　can　be　more　convinced　of　it　than　myself；　and　
therefore　I　speak　with　great　diffidence；　my　dear　Jane；　I　assure　
you。’　

‘We’ll　say　I　don’t　understand　the　boy；　Clara；’　returned　Miss　
Murdstone；　arranging　the　little　fetters　on　her　wrists。　‘We’ll　agree；　
if　you　please；　that　I　don’t　understand　him　at　all。　He　is　much　too　
deep　for　me。　But　perhaps　my　brother’s　penetration　may　enable　
him　to　have　some　insight　into　his　character。　And　I　believe　my　
brother　was　speaking　on　the　subject　when　we—not　very　
decently—interrupted　him。’　

‘I　think；　Clara；’　said　Mr。　Murdstone；　in　a　low　grave　voice；　‘that　
there　may　be　better　and　more　dispassionate　judges　of　such　a　
question　than　you。’　

‘Edward；’　replied　my　mother；　timidly；　‘you　are　a　far　better　judge　
of　all　questions　than　I　pretend　to　be。　Both　you　and　Jane　are。　I　only　
said—’　

‘You　only　said　something　weak　and　inconsiderate；’　he　replied。　
‘Try　not　to　do　it　again；　my　dear　Clara；　and　keep　a　watch　upon　
yourself。’　

My　mother’s　lips　moved；　as　if　she　answered　‘Yes；　my　dear　
Edward；’　but　she　said　nothing　aloud。　

‘I　was　sorry；　David；　I　remarked；’　said　Mr。　Murdstone；　turning　
his　head　and　his　eyes　stiffly　towards　me；　‘to　observe　that　you　are　of　
a　sullen　disposition。　This　is　not　a　character　that　I　can　suffer　to　
develop　itself　beneath　my　eyes　without　an　effort　at　improvement。　
You　must　endeavour；　sir；　to　change　it。　We　must　endeavour　to　
change　it　for　you。’　

‘I　beg　your　pardon；　sir；’　I　faltered。　‘I　have　never　meant　to　be　
sullen　since　I　came　back。’　

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‘Don’t　take　refuge　in　a　lie；　sir！’　he　returned　so　fiercely；　that　I　
saw　my　mother　involuntarily　put　out　her　trembling　hand　as　if　to　
interpose　between　us。　‘You　have　withdrawn　yourself　in　your　
sullenness　to　your　own　room。　You　have　kept　your　own　room　when　
you　ought　to　have　been　here。　You　know　now；　once　for　all；　that　I　
require　you　to　be　here；　and　not　there。　Further；　that　I　require　you　
to　bring　obedience　here。　You　know　me；　David。　I　will　have　it　done。’　

Miss　Murdstone　gave　a　hoarse　chuckle。　

‘I　will　have　a　respectful；　prompt；　and　ready　bearing　towards　
myself；’　he　continued；　‘and　towards　Jane　Murdstone；　and　towards　
your　mother。　I　will　not　have　this　room　shunned　as　if　it　were　
infected；　at　the　pleasure　of　a　child。　Sit　down。’　

He　ordered　me　like　a　dog；　and　I　obeyed　like　a　dog。　

‘One　thing　more；’　he　said。　‘I　observe　that　you　have　an　
attachment　to　low　and　common　company。　You　are　not　to　associate　
with　servants。　The　kitchen　will　not　improve　you；　in　the　many　
respects　in　which　you　need　improvement。　Of　the　woman　who　
abets　you；　I　say　nothing—since　you；　Clara；’　addressing　my　mother　
in　a　lower　voice；　‘from　old　associations　and　long…established　
fancies；　have　a　weakness　respecting　her　which　is　not　yet　
overcome。’　

‘A　most　unaccountable　delusion　it　is！’　cried　Miss　Murdstone。　

‘I　only　say；’　he　resumed；　addressing　me；　‘that　I　disapprove　of　
your　preferring　such　company　as　Mistress　Peggotty；　and　that　it　is　
to　be　abandoned。　Now；　David；　you　understand　me；　and　you　know　
what　will　be　the　consequence　if　you　fail　to　obey　me　to　the　letter。’　

I　knew　well—better　perhaps　than　he　thought；　as　far　as　my　poor　
mother　was　concerned—and　I　obeyed　him　to　the　letter。　I　retreated　
to　my　own　room　no　more；　I　took　refuge　with　Peggotty　no　more；　

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but　sat　wearily　in　the　parlour　day　after　day；　looking　forward　to　
night；　and　bedtime。　

What　irksome　constraint　I　underwent；　sitting　in　the　same　
attitude　hours　upon　hours；　afraid　to　move　an　arm　or　a　leg　lest　Miss　
Murdstone　should　complain　（as　she　did　on　the　least　pretence）　of　
my　restlessness；　and　afraid　to　move　an　eye　lest　she　should　light　on　
some　look　of　dislike　or　scrutiny　that　would　find　new　cause　for　
complaint　in　mine！　What　intolerable　dulness　to　sit　listening　to　the　
ticking　of　the　clock；　and　watching　Miss　Murdstone’s　little　shiny　
steel　beads　as　she　strung　them；　and　wondering　whether　she　would　
ever　be　married；　and　if　so；　to　what　sort　of　unhappy　man；　and　
cou