the house behind the cedars(雪松后的房子)-第34节
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THE HOUSE BEHIND THE CEDARS
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THE HOUSE BEHIND THE CEDARS
XIX
GOD MADE US ALL
Rena was convalescent from a two…weeks' illness when her brother
came to see her。 He arrived at Patesville by an early morning train before
the town was awake； and walked unnoticed from the station to his
mother's house。 His meeting with his sister was not without emotion： he
embraced her tenderly； and Rena became for a few minutes a very Niobe
of grief。
〃Oh； it was cruel； cruel！〃 she sobbed。 〃I shall never get over it。〃
〃I know it； my dear；〃 replied Warwick soothingly；〃I know it； and I'm
to blame for it。 If I had never taken you away from here； you would have
escaped this painful experience。 But do not despair； all is not lost。
Tryon will not marry you； as I hoped he might； while I feared the contrary；
but he is a gentleman； and will be silent。 Come back and try again。〃
〃No； John。 I couldn't go through it a second time。 I managed very
well before； when I thought our secret was unknown； but now I could
never be sure。 It would be borne on every wind； for aught I knew； and
every rustling leaf might whisper it。 The law； you said； made us white；
but not the law； nor even love； can conquer prejudice。 HE spoke of my
beauty； my grace； my sweetness！ I looked into his eyes and believed him。
And yet he left me without a word！ What would I do in Clarence now？
I came away engaged to be married； with even the day set； I should go
back forsaken and discredited； even the servants would pity me。〃
〃Little Albert is pining for you；〃 suggested Warwick。 〃We could
make some explanation that would spare your feelings。〃
〃Ah； do not tempt me； John！ I love the child； and am grieved to leave
him。 I'm grateful； too； John； for what you have done for me。 I am not
sorry that I tried it。 It opened my eyes； and I would rather die of
knowledge than live in ignorance。 But I could not go through it again；
John； I am not strong enough。 I could do you no good； I have made you
trouble enough already。 Get a mother for AlbertMrs。 Newberry would
marry you； secret and all； and would be good to the child。 Forget me；
John； and take care of yourself。 Your friend has found you out through
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mehe may have told a dozen people。 You think he will be silent；I
thought he loved me； and he left me without a word； and with a look that
told me how he hated and despised me。 I would not have believed it
even of a white man。〃
〃You do him an injustice；〃 said her brother； producing Tryon's letter。
〃He did not get off unscathed。 He sent you a message。〃
She turned her face away； but listened while he read the letter。 〃He did
not love me；〃 she cried angrily； when he had finished； 〃or he would not
have cast me offhe would not have looked at me so。 The law would
have let him marry me。 I seemed as white as he did。 He might have
gone anywhere with me； and no one would have stared at us curiously； no
one need have known。 The world is widethere must be some place
where a man could live happily with the woman he loved。〃
〃Yes； Rena； there is； and the world is wide enough for you to get along
without Tryon。〃
〃For a day or two；〃 she went on； 〃I hoped he might come back。 But
his expression in that awful moment grew upon me； haunted me day and
night； until I shuddered at the thought that I might ever see him again。
He looked at me as though I were not even a human being。 I do not love
him any longer； John； I would not marry him if I were white； or he were as
I am。 He did not love meor he would have acted differently。 He
might have loved me and have left mehe could not have loved me and
have looked at me so！〃
She was weeping hysterically。 There was little he could say to
comfort her。 Presently she dried her tears。 Warwick was reluctant to
leave her in Patesville。 Her childish happiness had been that of
ignorance； she could never be happy there again。 She had flowered in
the sunlight； she must not pine away in the shade。
〃If you won't come back with me； Rena； I'll send you to some school
at the North； where you can acquire a liberal education； and prepare
yourself for some career of usefulness。 You may marry a better man than
even Tryon。〃
〃No；〃 she replied firmly； 〃I shall never marry any man； and I'll not
leave mother again。 God is against it； I'll stay with my own people。〃
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〃God has nothing to do with it；〃 retorted Warwick。 〃God is too often
a convenient stalking… horse for human selfishness。 If there is anything
to be done； so unjust； so despicable； so wicked that human reason revolts
at it； there is always some smug hypocrite to exclaim； ‘It is the will of
God。'〃
〃God made us all；〃 continued Rena dreamily； 〃and for some good
purpose； though we may not always see it。 He made some people white；
and strong； and masterful； andheartless。 He made others black and
homely； and poor and weak〃
〃And a lot of others ‘poor white' and shiftless；〃 smiled Warwick。
〃He made us； too；〃 continued Rena； intent upon her own thought； 〃and
He must have had a reason for it。 Perhaps He meant us to bring the
others together in his own good time。 A man may make a new place for
himselfa woman is born and bound to hers。 God must have meant me
to stay here； or He would not have sent me back。 I shall accept things as
they are。 Why should I seek the society of people whose friendshipand
love one little word can turn to scorn？ I was right； John； I ought to
have told him。 Suppose he had married me and then had found it out？〃
To Rena's argument of divine foreordination Warwick attached no
weight whatever。 He had seen God's heel planted for four long years
upon the land which had nourished slavery。 Had God ordained the crime
that the punishment might follow？ It would have been easier for
Omnipotence to prevent the crime。 The experience of his sister had
stirred up a certain bitterness against white peoplea feeling which he had
put aside years ago； with his dark blood； but which sprang anew into life
when the fact of his own origin was brought home to him so forcibly
through his sister's misfortune。 His sworn friend and promised brother…
in… law had thrown him over promptly； upon the discovery of the hidden
drop of dark blood。 How many others of his friends would do the same；
if they but knew of it？ He had begun to feel a little of the spiritual
estrangement from his associates that he had noticed in Rena during her
life at Clarence。 The fact that several persons knew his secret had
spoiled the fine flavor of perfect security hitherto marking his position。
George Tryon was a man of honor among white men； and had deigned to
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extend the protection of his honor to Warwick as a man； though no longer
as a friend； to Rena as a woman； but not as a wife。 Tryon； however； was
only human； and who could tell when their paths in life might cross again；
or what future temptation Tryon might feel to use a damaging secret to
their disadvantage？ Warwick had cherished certain ambitions； but these
he must now put behind him。 In the obscurity of private life； his past
would be o
