benita-第4节

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to　make　the　best　of　themselves。〃



〃Quite　so；　but　I　never　do　what　I　ought；　a　fact　for　which　I　am　grateful

now　come　to　think　of　it；　since　otherwise　I　should　not　be　here

to…night。　I　wish　to　make　the　worst　of　myself；　the　very　worst；　for

whatever　I　am　not；　at　least　I　am　honest。　Now　having　told　you　that　I

am；　or　was　half　an　hour　ago；　an　idler；　a　good…for…nothing；

prospectless　failure；　I　ask　youif　you　care　to　hear　any　more？〃



She　half　rose；　and；　glancing　at　him　for　the　first　time；　saw　his　face

contract　itself　and　turn　pale　in　the　moonlight。　It　may　be　that　the

sight　of　it　affected　her；　even　to　the　extent　of　removing　some　adverse

impression　left　by　the　bitter　mocking　of　his　self…blame。　At　any　rate；

Benita　seemed　to　change　her　mind；　and　sat　down　again；　saying：



〃Go　on；　if　you　wish。〃



He　bowed　slightly；　and　said：



〃I　thank　you。　I　have　told　you　what　I　/was/　half　an　hour　ago；　now；

hoping　that　you　will　believe　me；　I　will　tell　you　what　I　/am/。　I　am　a

truly　repentant　man；　one　upon　whom　a　new　light　has　risen。　I　am　not

very　old；　and　I　think　that　underneath　it　all　I　have　some　ability。

Opportunity　may　still　come　my　way；　if　it　does　not；　for　your　sake　I

will　make　the　opportunity。　I　do　not　believe　that　you　can　ever　find

anyone　who　would　love　you　better　or　care　for　you　more　tenderly。　I

desire　to　live　for　you　in　the　future；　more　completely　even　than　in　the

past　I　have　lived　for　myself。　I　do　not　wish　to　influence　you　by

personal　appeals；　but　in　fact　I　stand　at　the　parting　of　the　ways。　If

you　will　give　yourself　to　me　I　feel　as　though　I　might　still　become　a

husband　of　whom　you　could　be　proudif　not；　I　write　'Finis'　upon　the

tombstone　of　the　possibilities　of　Robert　Seymour。　I　adore　you。　You　are

the　one　woman　with　whom　I　desire　to　pass　my　days；　it　is　you　who　have

always　been　lacking　to　my　life。　I　ask　you　to　be　brave；　to　take　the

risk　of　marrying　me；　although　I　can　see　nothing　but　poverty　ahead　of

us；　for　I　am　an　adventurer。〃



〃Don't　speak　like　that；〃　she　said　quickly。　〃We　are　all　of　us

adventurers　in　this　world；　and　I　more　than　you。　We　have　just　to

consider　ourselves；　not　what　we　have　or　have　not。〃



〃So　be　it；　Miss　Clifford。　Then　I　have　nothing　more　to　say；　now　it　is

for　you　to　answer。〃



Just　then　the　sound　of　the　piano　and　the　fiddle　in　the　saloon　ceased。

One　of　the　waltzes　was　over；　and　some　of　the　dancers　came　upon　deck　to

flirt　or　to　cool　themselves。　One　pair；　engaged　very　obviously　in　the

former　occupation；　stationed　themselves　so　near　to　Robert　and　Benita

that　further　conversation　between　them　was　impossible；　and　there

proceeded　to　interchange　the　remarks　common　to　such　occasions。



For　a　good　ten　minutes　did　they　stand　thus；　carrying　on　a　mock　quarrel

as　to　a　dance　of　which　one　of　them　was　supposed　to　have　been

defrauded；　until　Robert　Seymour；　generally　a　very　philosophical

person；　could　have　slain　those　innocent　lovers。　He　felt；　he　knew　not

why；　that　his　chances　were　slipping　away　from　him；　that　sensation　of

something　bad　about　to　happen；　of　which　Benita　had　spoken；　spread　from

her　to　him。　The　suspense　grew　exasperating；　terrible　even；　nor　could

it　be　ended。　To　ask　her　to　come　elsewhere　was　under　the　circumstances

not　feasible；　especially　as　he　would　also　have　been　obliged　to　request

the　other　pair　to　make　way　for　them；　and　all　this　time；　with　a　sinking

of　the　heart；　he　felt　that　probably　Benita　was　beating　down　any

tenderness　which　she　might　feel　towards　him；　that　when　her　long…

delayed　answer　did　come　the　chances　were　it　would　be　〃No。〃



The　piano　began　to　play　again　in　the　saloon；　and　the　young　people；

still　squabbling　archly；　at　length　prepared　to　depart。　Suddenly　there

was　a　stir　upon　the　bridge；　and　against　the　tender　sky　Robert　saw　a

man　dash　forward。　Next　instant　the　engine…room　bell　rang　fiercely。　He

knew　the　signalit　was　〃Stop；〃　followed　at　once　by　other　ringings

that　meant　〃Full　speed　astern。〃



〃I　wonder　what　is　up？〃　said　the　young　man　to　the　young　woman。



Before　the　words　had　left　his　lips　they　knew。　There　was　a　sensation　as

though　all　the　hull　of　the　great　ship　had　come　to　a　complete

standstill；　while　the　top　part　of　her　continued　to　travel　forward；

followed　by　another　sensation　still　more　terrible　and　sickening　in　its

naturethat　of　slipping　over　something；　helplessly；　heavily；　as　a　man

slips　upon　ice　or　a　polished　floor。　Spars　cracked；　ropes　flew　in　two

with　a　noise　as　of　pistol　shots。　Heavy　objects　rushed　about　the　deck；

travelling　forwards　all　of　them。　Benita　was　hurled　from　her　chair

against　Robert　so　that　the　two　of　them　rolled　into　the　scuppers。　He

was　unhurt　and　picked　himself　up；　but　she　lay　still；　and　he　saw　that

something　had　struck　her　upon　the　head；　for　blood　was　running　down　her

cheek。　He　lifted　her；　and；　filled　with　black　horror　and　despairfor

he　thought　her　gonepressed　his　hand　upon　her　heart。　Thank　God！　it

began　to　beat　againshe　still　lived。



The　music　in　the　saloon　had　stopped；　and　for　a　little　while　there　was

silence。　Then　of　an　instant　there　arose　the　horrible　clamour　of

shipwreck；　wild…eyed　people　rushed　to　and　fro　aimlessly；　here　and

there　women　and　children　shrieked；　a　clergyman　fell　upon　his　knees　and

began　to　pray。



This　went　on　for　a　space；　till　presently　the　second　officer　appeared

and；　affecting　an　unconcerned　air；　called　out　that　it　was　all　right；

the　captain　said　no　one　was　to　be　afraid。　He　added　that　they　were　not

more　than　six　miles　from　the　shore；　and　that　the　ship　would　be　beached

in　half　an　hour。　Indeed；　as　he　spoke　the　engines；　which　had　been

stopped；　commenced　to　work　again；　and　her　head　swung　round　in　a　wide

circle；　pointing　to　the　land。　Evidently　they　had　passed　over　the　rock

and　were　once　more　in　deep　water；　through　which　they　travelled　at　a

good　speed　but　with　a　heavy　list　to　starboard。　The　pumps　got　to　work

also　with　a　monotonous；　clanging　beat；　throwing　out　great　columns　of

foaming　water　on　to　the　oily　sea。　Men　began　to　cut　the　covers　off　the

boats；　and　to　swing　some　of　them　outboard。　Such　were　the　things　that

went　on　about　them。



With　the　senseless　Benita　clasped　to　his　breast；　the　blood　from　her

cut　head　running　down　his　shoulder；　Robert　stood　still　awhile；

thinking。　Then　he　made　up　his　mind。　As　it　chanced；　she　had　a　deck

cabin；　and　thither　he　forced　his　way；　carrying　her　tenderly　and　with

patience　through　the　distracted　throng　of　passengers；　for　there　were

five　hundred　souls　on　board　that　ship。　He　reached　the　place　to　find

that　it　was　quite　empty；　her　cabinmate　having　fled。　Laying　Benita　upon

the　lower　bunk；　he　lit　the　swinging　candle。　As　soon　as　it　burned　up　he

searched　for　the　lifebelts　and　by　good　fortune　found　two　of　them；　one

of　which；　not　without　great　difficulty；　he　succeeded　in　fastening

round　her。　Then　he　took　a　sponge　and　bathed　her　head　with　water。　There

was　a　great　bruise　upon　her　temple　where　the　block　or　whatever　it　was

had　struck　her；　and　the　blood　still　flowed；　but　the　wound　was　not　very

deep　or　extensive；　nor；　so　far　as　he　could　discover；　did　the　bone

appear　to　be　broken　or　driven　in。　He　had　good　hope　that　she　was　only

stunned；　and　would　revive　presently。　Unable　to　do　more　for　her；　a

thought　struck　him。　On　the　floor　of　the　cabin；　thrown　by　the　shock

from　the　rack；　lay　her　writing　case。　He　opened　it；　and　taking　a　piece

of　paper　wrote　these　words　hurriedly　in　pencil：



　〃You　gave　me　no　answer；　and　it　is　more　than　probable　that　I　shall

　　receive　none　in　this　world　which　one　or　both　of　us　may　be　upon

　　the　verge　of　leaving。　In　the　latter　case　we　can　settle　the　matter

　　elsewhereperhaps。　In　the　former；　should　it　be　my　lot　to　go　and

　　yours　to　stay；　I　hope　that　you　will　think　kindly　of　me　at　times

　　as　of　one　who　loved　you　truly。　Should　it　be　yours　to　go；　then

　　you　will　never　read　these　words。　Yet　if　to　the　dead　is　given

　　knowledge；　be　assured　that　as　you　left　me　so　you　shall　find　me；

　　yours　and　yours　alone。　Or　perhaps　we　both　may　live；　I　pray

　　so。S。　R。　S。〃



Folding　up　the　paper；　he　undid　a　button　of　Benita's　blouse　and　thrust

it　away　there；　knowing　that　thus　she　would　certainly　find　it　should

she　survive。　Then　he　stepped　out　on　to　the　deck　to　see　what　was

happening。　The　vessel　still　steamed；　but　made　slow　progress；　moreover；

the　list　to　starboard　was　now　so　pronounced　that　it　was　difficult　to

stand　upright。　On　account　of　it　nearly　all　the　passengers　were　huddled

together　upon　the　port　side；　having　instinctively　taken　refuge　as　far

as　possible　above　the　water。　A　man　with　a　white；　distraught　face

staggered　towards　him；　supporting　himself　by　the　bulwarks。　It　was　the

captain。　For　a　moment　he　paused　as　though　to　think；　holding　to　a

stanchion。　Robert　Seymour　saw　his　opportunity　and　addressed　him。



〃Forgive　me；〃　he　said；　〃I　do　not　like　interfering　with　other　people's

business；　but　for　reasons　unconnected　with　myself　I　suggest　to　you

that　it　would　be　wise　to　stop　this　ship　and　get　out　the　boats。　The　sea

is　calm；　if　it　is　not　left　till　too　la