the crime of sylvestre bonnard-第32节
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Prince Grenouille〃 had proved extremely funny； for it was all that Jeanne could do； as she crouched down there on the carpet； to keep herself from bursting into a wild fit of laughter。 But when she had finished with the prince and princess of the story； and the multitude of their children； she assumed a very suppliant expression； and begged me as a great favour to allow her to put on a white apron and go to the kitchen to help in getting the dinner ready。
〃Jeanne；〃 I replied； with the gravity of a master； 〃I think that if it is a question of breaking plates； knocking off the edges of dishes； denting all the pans； and smashing all the skimmers； the person whom Therese has set to work in the kitchen already will be able to perform her task without assistance； for it seems to me at this very moment I can hear disastrous noises in that kitchen。 But anyhow； Jeanne； I will charge you with the duty of preparing the dessert。 So go and get your white apron； I will tie it on for you。〃
Accordingly； I solemnly knotted the linen apron about her waist； and she rushed into the kitchen； where she proceeded at onceas we discovered later onto prepare various dishes unknown to Vatel； unknown even to that great Careme who began his treatise upon pieces montees with these words： 〃The Fine Arts are five in number： Painting； Music； Poetry； Sculpture； and Architecturewhereof the principal branch is Confectionery。〃 But I had no reason to be pleased with this little arrangementfor Mademoiselle Prefere； on finding herself alone with me； began to act after a fashion which filled me with frightful anxiety。 She gazed upon me with eyes full of tears and flames； and uttered enormous sighs。
〃Oh； how I pity you！〃 she said。 〃A man like youa man so superior as you arehaving to live alone with a coarse servant （for she is certainly coarse； that is incontestable）！ How cruel such a life must be！ You have need of reposeyou have need of comfort； of care； of every kind of attention； you might fall sick。 And yet there is no woman who would not deem it an honour to bear your name； and to share your existence。 No； there is none； my own heart tells me so。〃
And she squeezed both hands over that heart of hersalways so ready to fly away。
I was driven almost to distraction。 I tried to make Mademoiselle Prefere comprehend that I had no intention whatever of changing my habits at so advanced an age； and that I found just as much happiness in life as my character and my circumstances rendered possible。
〃No； you are not happy！〃 she cried。 〃You need to have always beside you a mind capable of comprehending your own。 Shake off your lethargy； and cast your eyes about you。 Your professional connections are of the most extended character； and you must have charming acquaintances。 One cannot be a Member of the Institute without going into society。 See； judge； compare。 No sensible woman would refuse you her hand。 I am a woman； Monsieur； my instinct never deceives methere is something within me which assures me that you would find happiness in marriage。 Women are so devoted； so loving （not all； of course； but some）！ And； then； they are so sensitive to glory。 Remember that at your age one has need； like Oedipus； of an Egeria！ Your cook is no longer ableshe is deaf； she is infirm。 If anything should happen to you at night！ Oh！ it makes me shudder even to think of it！〃
And she really shudderedshe closed her eyes； clenched her hands； stamped on the floor。 Great was my dismay。 With awful intensity she resumed；
〃Your healthyour dear health！ The health of a Member of the Institute！ How joyfully I would shed the very last drop of my blood to preserve the life of a scholar； of a litterateur； of a man of worth。 And any woman who would not do as much； I should despise her！ Let me tell you； MonsieurI used to know the wife of a great mathematician； a man who used to fill whole note…books with calculationsso many note…books that they filled all the cupboards in the house。 He had heart…disease； and he was visibly pining away。 And I saw that wife of his； sitting there beside him； perfectly calm！ I could not endure it。 I said to her one day； 'My dear； you have no heart！ If I were in your place I should。。。I should。。。I do not know what I should do！'〃
She paused for want of breath。 My situation was terrible。 As for telling Mademoiselle Prefere what I really thought about her advice that was something which I could not even dream of daring to do。 For to fall out with her was to lose the chance of seeing Jeanne。 So I resolved to take the matter quietly。 In any case； she was in my house： that consideration helped me to treat her with something of courtesy。
〃I am very old； Mademoiselle；〃 I answered her； 〃and I am very much afraid that your advice comes to me rather late in life。 Still； I will think about it。 In the meanwhile let me beg of you to be calm。 I think a glass of eau sucree would do you good！〃
To my great surprise； these words calmed her at once； and I saw her sit down very quietly in HER corner； close to HER pigeon…hole； upon HER chair； with her feet upon HER footstool。
The dinner was a complete failure。 Mademoiselle Prefere； who seemed lost in a brown study； never noticed the fact。 As a rule I am very sensitive about such misfortunes； but this one caused Jeanne so much delight that at last I could not help enjoying it myself。 Even at my age I had not been able to learn before that a chicken； raw on one side and burned on the other； was a funny thing； but Jeanne's bursts of laughter taught me that it was。 That chicken caused us to say a thousand very witty things； which I have forgotten； and I was enchanted that it had not been properly cooked。 Jeanne put it back to roast again； then she broiled it； then she stewed it with butter。 And every time it came back to the table it was much less appetising and much more mirth…provoking than before。 When we did eat it； at last； it had become a thing for which there is no name in any cuisine。
The almond cake was much more extraordinary。 It was brought to the table in the pan； because it never could have got out of it。 I invited Jeanne to help us all to a piece thinking that I was going to embarrass her； but she broke the pan and gave each of us a fragment。 To think that anybody at my age could eat such things was an idea possible only to the very artless mind。 Mademoiselle Prefere； suddenly awakened from her dream； indignantly pushed away the sugary splinter of earthenware； and deemed it opportune to inform me that she herself was exceedingly skilful in making confectionery。
〃Ah！〃 exclaimed Jeanne； with an air of surprise not altogether without malice。 Then she wrapped all the fragments of the pan in a piece of paper； for the purpose of giving them to her little playmates especially to the three little Mouton girls； who are naturally inclined to gluttony。
Secretly； however； I was beginning to feel very uneasy。 It did not now seem in any way possible to keep much longer upon good terms with Mademoiselle Prefere since her matrimonial fury had this burst forth。 And that lady affronted； good…bye to Jeanne！ I took advantage of a moment while the sweet soul was busy putting on her cloak； in order to ask Jeanne to tell me exactly what her own age was。 She was eighteen years and one month old。 I counted on my fingers； and found she would not come of age for another two years and eleven months。 And how should we be able to manage during all that time？
At the door Mademoiselle Prefere squeezed my hand with so much meaning that I fairly shook from head to foot。
〃Good…bye；〃 I said very gravely to the young girl。 〃But listen to me a moment： your friend is very old； and might perhaps fail you when you need him most。 Promise me never to fail in your duty to yourself； and then I shall have no fear。 God keep you； my child！〃
After closing the door behind them； I opened the window to get a last look at her as she was going away。 But the night was dark； and I could see only two vague shadows flitting across the quay。 I heard the vast deep hom of the city rising up about me； and I suddenly felt a great sinking at my heart。
Poor child！
December 15。
The King of Thule kept a goblet of gold which his dying mistress had bequeathed him as a souvenir。 When about to die himself； after having drunk from it for the last time； he threw the goblet into the sea。 And I keep this diary of memories even as that old prince of the mist…haunted seas kept his carven goblet； and even as he flung away at last his love…pledge； so will I burn this book of souvenirs。 Assuredly it is not through any arrogant avarice nor through any egotistical pride； that I shall destroy this record of a humble lifeit is only because I fear lest those things which are dear and sacred to me might appear before others； because of my inartistic manner of expression； either commonplace or absurd。
I do not say this in view of what is going to follow。 Absurd I certainly must have been when； having been invited to dinner by Mademoiselle Prefere； I took my seat in a bergere （it was really a bergere） at the right hand of that alarming person。 The table had been set in a little parlour； and I could observe from t
