the crime of sylvestre bonnard-第3节

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es　and　appealed　to　my　fancy。　　Rummaging　and　idling　among　these；　I　hastily　enjoyed　some　verses　spiritedly　thrown　off　by　a　poet　of　the　Pleiad。　　I　examined　an　elegant　Masquerade　by　Watteau。　　I　felt；　with　my　eye；　the　weight　of　a　two…handed　sword；　a　steel　gorgerin；　a　morion。　　What　a　thick　helmet！　　What　a　ponderous　breastplate　Seigneur！　　A　giant's　garb？　　Nothe　carapace　of　an　insect。　　The　men　of　those　days　were　cuirassed　like　beetles；　their　weakness　was　within　them。　　To…day；　on　the　contrary；　our　strength　is　interior；　and　our　armed　souls　dwell　in　feeble　bodies。

。。。Here　is　a　pastel…portrait　of　a　lady　of　the　old　timethe　face；　vague　like　a　shadow；　smiles；　and　a　hand；　gloved　with　an　openwork　mitten；　retains　upon　her　satiny　knees　a　lap…dog；　with　a　ribbon　about　its　neck。　That　picture　fills　me　with　a　sort　of　charming　melancholy。　Let　those　who　have　no　half…effaced　pastels　in　their　own　hearts　laugh　at　me！　　Like　the　horse　that　scents　the　stable；　I　hasten　my　pace　as　I　near　my　lodgings。　　There　it　isthat　great　human　hive；　in　which　I　have　a　cell；　for　the　purpose　of　therein　distilling　the　somewhat　acrid　honey　of　erudition。　　I　climb　the　stairs　with　slow　effort。　　Only　a　few　steps　more；　and　I　shall　be　at　my　own　door。　　But　I　divine；　rather　than　see；　a　robe　descending　with　a　sound　of　rustling　silk。　I　stop；　and　press　myself　against　the　balustrade　to　make　room。　　The　lady　who　is　coming　down　is　bareheaded；　shi　is　young；　she　sings；　her　eyes　and　teeth　gleam　in　the　shadow；　for　she　laughs　with　lips　and　eyes　at　the　same　time。　　She　is　certainly　a　neighbor；　and　a　very　familiar　one。　　She　holds　in　her　arms　a　pretty　child；　a　little　boy　quite　naked；　like　the　son　of　a　goddess；　he　has　a　medal　hung　round　his　neck　by　a　little　silver　chain。　　I　see　him　sucking　his　thumb　and　looking　at　me　with　those　big　eyes　so　newly　opened　on　this　old　universe。　The　mother　simultaneously　looks　at　me　in　a　sly；　mysterious　way；　she　stopsI　think　blushes　a　littleand　holds　out　the　little　creature　to　me。　　The　baby　has　a　pretty　wrinkle　between　wrist　and　arm；　a　pretty　wrinkle　about　his　neck；　and　all　over　him；　from　head　to　foot；　the　daintiest　dimples　laugh　in　his　rosy　flesh。

The　mamma　shows　him　to　me　with　pride。

〃Monsieur；〃　she　says；　〃don't　you　think　he　is　very　prettymy　little　boy？〃

She　takes　one　tiny　hand；　lifts　it　to　the　child's　own　lips；　and；　drawing　out　the　darling　pink　fingers　again　towards　me；　says；

〃Baby；　throw　the　gentleman　a　kiss。〃

Then；　folding　the　little　being　in　her　arms；　she　flees　away　with　the　agility　of　a　cat；　and　is　lost　to　sight　in　a　corridor　which；　judging　by　the　odour；　must　lead　to　some　kitchen。

I　enter　my　own　quarters。

〃Therese；　who　can　that　young　mother　be　whom　I　saw　bareheaded　on　the　stairs　just　now；　with　a　pretty　little　boy？〃

And　Therese　replies　that　it　was　Madame　Coccoz。

I　stare　up　at　the　ceiling；　as　if　trying　to　obtain　some　further　illumination。　　Therese　then　recalls　to　me　the　little　book…peddler　who　tried　to　sell　me　almanacs　last　year；　while　his　wife　was　lying　in。

〃And　Coccoz　himself？〃　I　asked。

I　was　answered　that　I　would　never　see　him　again。　　The　poor　little　man　had　been　laid　away　underground；　without　my　knowledge；　and；　indeed；　with　the　knowledge　of　very　few　people；　on　a　short　time　after　the　happy　delivery　of　Madame　Coccoz。　　I　leaned　that　his　wife　had　been　able　to　console　herself：　　I　did　likewise。

〃But；　Therese；〃　I　asked；　〃has　Madame　Coccoz　got　everything　she　needs　in　that　attic　of　hers？〃

〃You　would　be　a　great　dupe；　Monsieur；〃　replied　my　housekeeper；　〃if　you　should　bother　yourself　about　that　creature。　　They　gave　her　notice　to　quit　the　attic　when　the　roof　was　repaired。　　But　she　stays　there　yetin　spite　of　the　proprietor；　the　agent；　the　concierge；　and　the　bailiffs。　　I　think　she　has　bewitched　every　one　of　them。　　She　will　leave　the　attic　when　she　pleases；　Monsieur；　but　she　is　going　to　leave　in　her　own　carriage。　　Let　me　tell　you　that！〃

Therese　reflected　for　a　moment；　and　then　uttered　these　words：

〃A　pretty　face　is　a　curse　from　Heaven。〃

〃Then　I　ought　to　thank　Heaven　for　having　spared　me　that　curse。　　But　here！　put　my　hat　and　cane　away。　　I　am　going　to　amuse　myself　with　a　few　pages　of　Moreri。　　If　I　can　trust　my　old　fox…nose；　we　are　going　to　have　a　nicely　flavoured　pullet　for　dinner。　　Look　after　that　estimable　fowl；　my　girl；　and　spare　your　neighbors；　so　that　you　and　your　old　master　may　be　spared　by　them　in　turn。〃

Having　thus　spoken；　I　proceeded　to　follow　out　the　tufted　ramifications　of　a　princely　genealogy。




May　7；　1851



I　have　passed　the　winter　according　to　the　ideal　of　the　sages；　in　angello　cum　libello；　and　now　the　swallows　of　the　Quai　Malaquais　find　me　on　their　return　about　as　when　they　left　me。　　He　who　lives　little；　changes　little；　and　it　is　scarcely　living　at　all　to　use　up　one's　days　over　old　texts。

Yet　I　feel　myself　to…day　a　little　more　deeply　impregnated　than　ever　before　with　that　vague　melancholy　which　life　distils。　　The　economy　of　my　intelligence　（I　dare　scarcely　confess　it　to　myself！）　has　remained　disturbed　ever　since　that　momentous　hour　in　which　the　existence　of　the　manuscript　of　the　Clerk　Alexander　was　first　revealed　to　me。

It　is　strange　that　I　should　have　lost　my　rest　simply　on　account　of　a　few　old　sheets　of　parchment；　but　it　is　unquestionably　true。　　The　poor　man　who　has　no　desires　possesses　the　greatest　of　riches；　he　possesses　himself。　　The　rich　man　who　desires　something　is　only　a　wretched　slave。　　I　am　just　such　a　slave。　　The　sweetest　pleasures　those　of　converse　with　some　one　of　a　delicate　and　well…balanced　mind；　or　dining　out　with　a　friendare　insufficient　to　enable　me　to　forget　the　manuscript　which　I　know　that　I　want；　and　have　been　wanting　from　the　moment　I　knew　of　its　existence。　　I　feel　the　want　of　it　by　day　and　by　night：　　I　feel　the　want　of　it　in　all　my　joys　and　pains；　I　feel　the　want　of　it　while　at　work　or　asleep。

I　recall　my　desires　as　a　child。　　How　well　I　can　now　comprehend　the　intense　wishes　of　my　early　years！

I　can　see　once　more；　with　astonishing　vividness；　a　certain　doll　which；　when　I　was　eight　years　old；　used　to　be　displayed　in　the　window　of　an　ugly　little　shop　of　the　Rue　de　Seine。　　I　cannot　tell　how　it　happened　that　this　doll　attracted　me。　　I　was　very　proud　of　being　a　boy；　I　despised　little　girls；　and　I　longed　impatiently　for　the　day　（which　alas！　has　come）　when　a　strong　beard　should　bristle　on　my　chin。　　I　played　at　being　a　soldier；　and；　under　the　pretext　of　obtaining　forage　for　my　rocking…horse；　I　used　to　make　sad　havoc　among　the　plants　my　poor　mother　delighted　to　keep　on　her　window…sill。　Manly　amusements　those；　I　should　say！　　And；　nevertheless；　I　was　consumed　with　longing　for　a　doll。　　Characters　like　Hercules　have　such　weaknesses　occasionally。　　Was　the　one　I　had　fallen　in　love　with　at　all　beautiful？　　No。　　I　can　see　her　now。　　She　had　a　splotch　of　vermilion　on　either　cheek；　short　soft　arms；　horrible　wooden　hands；　and　long　sprawling　legs。　　Her　flowered　petticoat　was　fastened　at　the　waist　with　two　pins。　　Even　now　I　cans　see　the　balck　heads　of　those　two　pins。　　It　was　a　decidedly　vulgar　dollsmelt　of　the　faubourg。　　I　remember　perfectly　well　that；　child　as　I　was　then；　before　I　had　put　on　my　first　pair　of　trousers；　I　was　quite　conscious　in　my　own　way　that　this　doll　lacked　grace　and　stylethat　she　was　gross；　that　she　was　course。　　But　I　loved　her　in　spite　of　that；　I　loved　her　just　for　that；　I　loved　her　only；　I　wanted　her。　　My　soldiers　and　my　drums　had　become　as　nothing　in　my　eyes；　I　ceased　to　stick　sprigs　of　heliotrope　and　veronica　into　the　mouth　of　my　rocking…horse。　That　doll　was　all　the　world　to　me。　　I　invented　ruses　worthy　of　a　savage　to　oblige　Virginie；　my　nurse；　to　take　me　by　the　little　shop　in　the　Rue　de　Seine。　　I　would　press　my　nose　against　the　window　until　my　nurse　had　to　take　my　arm　and　drag　me　away。　　〃Monsieur　Sylvestre；　it　is　late；　and　your　mamma　will　scold　you。〃　　Monsieur　Sylvestre　in　those　days　made　very　little　of　either　scoldings　or　whippings。　　But　his　nurse　lifted　him　up　like　a　feather；　and　Monsieur　Sylvestre　yielded　to　force。　　In　after…years；　with　age；　he　degenerated；　and　sometimes　yielded　to　fear。　　But　at　that　time　he　used　to　fear　nothing。

I　was　unhappy。　　An　unreasoning　but　irresistible　shame　prevented　me　from　telling　my　mother　about　the　object　of　my　love。　　Thence　all　my　sufferings。　　For　many　days　that　doll；　incessantly　present　in　fancy；　danced　before　my　eyes；　stared　at　me　fixedly；　opened　her　arms　to　me；　assuming　in　my　imagination　a　sort　of　life　which　made　her　appear　at　once　mysterious　and　weird；　and　thereby　all　the　more　charming　and　desirable。

Finally；　one　daya　day　I　shall　never　forgetmy　nurse　took　me　to　see　my　uncle；　Captain　Victor；　who　had　invited　me　to　lunch。　　I　admired　my　uncle　a　great　deal；　as　much　because　he　had　fired　the　last　French　cartridge　at　Waterloo；　as　because　he　used　to　prepare　with　his　own　hands；　at　my　mother's　table；　certain　chapons…a…l'ail　＇Crust　on　which　garlic　has　been　rubbed＇；　which　he　afterwards　put　in　the　chicory　salad。　　I　thought　that　was　very　fine！　　My　Uncle　Victor　also　inspired　me　with　much　respect　by　his　frogged　coat；　and　still　more　by　his　way　of　turning　the　whole　house　upside　down　from　the　moment　he　came　into　it。　　Even　now　I　cannot　tell　just　how　he　managed　it；　but　I　can　affirm　that　whenever　my　Uncle　Victor　found　himself　in　any　assembly　of　twenty　persons；　i