the crime of sylvestre bonnard-第19节

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er　old　master　with　the　most　vigilant　despotism。

〃What　did　I　tell　you？〃　。。。And　now　she　will　not　give　me　my　silver…　headed　cane；　for　fear　that　I　might　lose　it！　　It　is　true　that　I　often　forget　umbrellas　and　walking…sticks　in　the　omnibuses　and　booksellers'　shops。　　But　I　have　a　special　reason　for　wanting　to　take　out　with　me　to…day　my　old　cane　with　the　engraved　silver　head　representing　Don　Quixote　charging　a　windmill；　lance　in　rest；　while　Sancho　Panza；　with　uplifted　arms；　vainly　conjures　him　to　a　stop。　　That　cane　is　all　that　came　to　me　from　the　heritage　of　my　uncle；　Captain　Victor；　who　in　his　lifetime　resembled　Don　Quixote　much　more　than　Sancho　Panza；　and　who　loved　blows　quite　as　much　as　most　people　fear　them。

For　thirty　years　I　have　been　in　the　habit　of　carrying　this　cane　upon　all　memorable　or　solemn　visits　which　I　make；　and　those　two　figures　of　knight　and　squire　give　me　inspiration　and　counsel。　　I　imagine　I　can　hear　them　speak。　　Don　Quixote　says；

〃Think　well　about　great　things；　and　know　that　thought　is　the　only　reality　in　this　world。　　Lift　up　Nature　to　thine　own　stature；　and　let　the　whole　universe　be　for　thee　no　more　than　the　reflection　of　thine　own　heroic　soul。　　Combat　for　honour's　sake：　　that　alone　is　worthy　of　a　man！　and　if　it　should　fall　thee　to　receive　wounds；　shed　thy　blood　as　a　beneficent　dew；　and　smile。〃

And　Sancho　Panza　says　to　me　in　his　turn；

〃Remain　just　what　heaven　made　thee；　comrade！　　Prefer　the　bread…crust　which　has　become　dry　in　thy　wallet　to　all　the　partridges　that　roast　in　the　kitchen　of　lords。　　Obey　thy　master；　whether　he　by　a　wise　man　or　a　fool；　and　do　not　cumber　thy　brain　with　too　many　useless　things。　Fear　blows；　'tis　verily　tempting　God　to　seek　after　danger！〃

But　if　the　incomparable　knight　and　his　matchless　squire　are　imagined　only　upon　this　cane　of　mine；　they　are　realities　to　my　inner　conscience。　　Within　every　one　of　us　there　lives　both　a　Don　Quixote　and　a　Sancho　Panza　to　whom　we　hearken　by　turns；　and　though　Sancho　most　persuades　us；　it　is　Don　Quixote　that　we　find　ourselves　obliged　to　admire。。。。　　But　a　truce　to　this　dotage！and　let　us　go　to　see　Madame　de　Gabry　about　some　matters　more　important　than　the　everyday　details　of　life。。。。


Same　day。


I　found　Madame　de　Gabry　dressed　in　black；　just　buttoning　her　gloves。

〃I　am　ready；〃　she　said。

Ready！so　I　have　always　found　her　upon　any　occasion　of　doing　a　kindness。

After　some　compliments　about　the　good　health　of　her　husband；　who　was　taking　a　walk　at　the　time；　we　descended　the　stairs　and　got　into　the　carriage。

I　do　not　know　what　secret　influence　I　feared　to　dissipate　by　breaking　silence；　but　we　followed　the　great　deserted　drives　without　speaking；　looking　at　the　crosses；　the　monumental　columns；　and　the　mortuary　wreaths　awaiting　sad　purchasers。

The　vehicle　at　last　halted　at　the　extreme　verge　of　the　land　of　the　living；　before　the　gate　upon　which　words　of　hope　are　graven。

〃Follow　me；〃　said　Madame　de　Gabry；　whose　tall　stature　I　noticed　then　for　the　first　time。　　She　first　walked　down　an　alley　of　cypresses；　and　then　took　a　very　narrow　path　contrived　between　the　tombs。　Finally；　halting　before　a　plain　slab；　she　said　to　me；

〃It　is　here。〃

And　she　knelt　down。　　I　could　not　help　noticing　the　beautiful　and　easy　manner　in　which　this　Christian　woman　fell　upon　her　knees；　leaving　the　folds　of　her　robe　to　spread　themselves　at　random　about　her。　　I　had　never　before　seen　any　lady　kneel　down　with　such　frankness　and　such　forgetfulness　of　self；　except　two　fair　Polish　exiles；　one　evening　long　ago；　in　a　deserted　church　in　Paris。

This　image　passed　like　a　flash；　and　I　saw　only　the　sloping　stone　on　which　was　graven　the　name　of　Clementine。　　What　I　then　felt　was　something　so　deep　and　vague　that　only　the　sound　of　some　rich　music　could　convey　the　idea　of　it。　　I　seemed　to　hear　instruments　of　celestial　sweetness　make　harmony　in　my　old　heart。　　With　the　solemn　accords　of　a　funeral　chant　there　seemed　to　mingle　the　subdued　melody　of　a　song　of　love；　for　my　soul　blended　into　one　feeling　the　grave　sadness　of　the　present　with　the　familiar　graces　of　the　past。

I　cannot　tell　whether　we　had　remained　a　long　time　at　the　tomb　of　Clementine　before　Madame　de　Gabry　arose。　　We　passed　through　the　cemetery　again　without　speaking　to　each　other。　　Only　when　we　found　ourselves　among　the　living　once　more　did　I　feel　able　to　speak。

〃While　following　you　there；〃　I　said　to　Madame　de　Gabry；　〃I　could　not　help　thinking　of　those　angels　with　whom　we　are　said　to　meet　on　the　mysterious　confines　of　life　and　death。　　That　tomb　you　led　me　to；　of　which　I　knew　nothingas　I　know　nothing；　or　scarcely　anything；　concerning　her　whom　it　coversbrought　back　to　me　emotions　which　were　unique　in　my　life；　and　which　seem　in　the　dullness　of　that　life　like　some　light　gleaming　upon　a　dark　road。　　The　light　recedes　farther　and　farther　away　as　the　journey　lengthens；　I　have　now　almost　reached　the　bottom　of　the　last　slope；　and；　nevertheless；　each　time　I　turn　to　look　back　I　see　the　glow　as　bright　as　ever。

〃You；　Madame；　who　knew　Clementine　as　a　young　wife　and　mother　after　her　hair　had　become　grey；　you　cannot　imagine　her　as　I　see　her　still；　a　young　fair　girl；　all　pink　and　white。　　Since　you　have　been　so　kind　as　to　be　my　guide；　dear　Madame；　I　ought　to　tell　you　what　feelings　were　awakened　in　me　by　the　sight　of　that　grave　to　which　you　led　me。　Memories　throng　back　upon　me。　　I　feel　myself　like　some　old　gnarled　and　mossy　oak　which　awakens　a　nestling　world　of　birds　by　shaking　its　branches。　　Unfortunately　the　song　my　birds　sing　is　old　as　the　world；　and　can　amuse　no　one　but　myself。〃

〃Tell　me　your　souvenirs；〃　said　Madame　de　Gabry。　　〃I　cannot　read　your　books；　because　they　are　written　only　for　scholars；　but　I　like　very　much　to　have　you　talk　to　me；　because　you　know　how　to　give　interest　to　the　most　ordinary　things　in　life。　　And　talk　to　me　just　as　you　would　talk　to　an　old　woman。　　This　morning　I　found　three　grey　threads　in　my　hair。〃

〃Let　them　come　without　regret；　Madame；〃　I　replied。　　〃Time　deals　gently　only　with　those　who　take　it　gently。　　And　when　in　some　years　more　you　will　have　a　silvery　fringe　under　your　black　fillet；　you　will　be　reclothed　with　a　new　beauty；　less　vivid　but　more　touching　than　the　first；　and　you　will　find　your　husband　admiring　your　grey　tresses　as　much　as　he　did　that　black　curl　which　you　gave　him　when　about　to　be　married；　and　which　he　preserves　in　a　locket　as　a　thing　sacred。。。。　　These　boulevards　are　broad　and　very　quiet。　　We　can　talk　at　our　ease　as　we　walk　along。　　I　will　tell　you；　to　begin　with；　how　I　first　made　the　acquaintance　of　Clementine's　father。　　But　you　must　not　expect　anything　extraordinary；　or　anything　even　remarkable；　you　would　be　greatly　deceived。

〃Monsieur　de　Lessay　used　to　live　in　the　second　storey　of　an　old　house　in　the　Avenue　de　l'Observatoire；　having　a　stuccoed　front；　ornamented　with　antique　busts；　and　a　large　unkept　garden　attached　to　it。　　That　facade　and　that　garden　were　the　first　images　my　child…eyes　perceived；　and　they　will　be　the　last；　no　doubt；　which　I　still　see　through　my　closed　eyelids　when　the　Inevitable　Day　comes。　　For　it　was　in　that　house　that　I　was　born；　it　was　in　that　garden　I　first　learned；　while　playing；　to　feel　and　know　some　particles　of　this　old　universe。　　Magical　hours！sacred　hours！when　the　soul；　all　fresh　from　the　making；　first　discoveries　the　world；　which　for　its　sake　seems　to　assume　such　caressing　brightness；　such　mysterious　charm！　　And　that；　Madame；　is　indeed　because　the　universe　itself　is　only　the　reflection　of　our　soul。

〃My　mother　was　being　very　happily　constituted。　　She　rose　with　the　sun；　like　the　birds；　and　she　herself　resembled　the　birds　by　her　domestic　industry；　by　her　maternal　instinct；　by　her　perpetual　desire　to　sing；　and　by　a　sort　of　brusque　grace；　which　I　could　feel　the　of　very　well　even　as　a　child。　　She　was　the　soul　of　the　house；　which　she　filled　with　her　systematic　and　joyous　activity。　　My　father　was　just　as　slow　as　she　was　brisk。　　I　can　recall　very　well　that　placid　face　of　his；　over　which　at　times　an　ironical　smile　used　to　flit。　He　was　fatigued　with　active　life；　and　he　loved　his　fatigue。　　Seated　beside　the　fire　in　his　big　arm…chair；　he　used　to　read　from　morning　till　night；　and　it　is　from　him　that　I　inherit　my　love　of　books。　　I　have　in　my　library　a　Mably　and　a　Raynal；　which　he　annotated　with　his　own　hand　from　beginning　to　end。　　But　it　was　utterly　useless　attempting　to　interest　him　in　anything　practical　whatever。　　When　my　mother　would　try；　by　all　kinds　of　gracious　little　ruses；　to　lure　him　out　of　his　retirement；　he　would　simply　shake　his　head　with　that　inexorable　gentleness　which　is　the　force　of　weak　characters。　　He　used　in　this　way　greatly　to　worry　the　poor　woman；　who　could　not　enter　at　all　into　his　own　sphere　of　meditative　wisdom；　and　could　understand　nothing　of　life　except　its　daily　duties　and　the　merry　labour　of　each　hour。　　She　thought　him　sick；　and　feared　he　was　going　to　become　still　more　so。　　But　his　apathy　had　a　different　cause。

〃My　father；　entering　the　Naval　office　under　Monsieur　Decres；　in　1801；　gave　early　proof　of　high　administrative　talent。　　There　was　a　great　deal　of　activity　in　the　marine　department　in　those　times；　and　in　1805　my　father　was　appointed　chief　of　the　Second　Administrative　Division。　　That　same　year；　the　Emperor；　whose　attention　had　been　c