man and superman-第14节

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with　my　mother；　considering　what　to　do。

TANNER。　Oh！　the　housekeeper's　room　is　the　penitentiary；　I
suppose；　and　the　prisoner　is　waiting　to　be　brought　before　her
judges。　The　old　cats！

ANN。　Oh；　Jack！

RAMSDEN。　You　are　at　present　a　guest　beneath　the　roof　of　one　of
the　old　cats；　sir。　My　sister　is　the　mistress　of　this　house。

TANNER。　She　would　put　me　in　the　housekeeper's　room；　too；　if　she
dared；　Ramsden。　However；　I　withdraw　cats。　Cats　would　have　more
sense。　Ann：　as　your　guardian；　I　order　you　to　go　to　Violet　at　once
and　be　particularly　kind　to　her。

ANN。　I　have　seen　her；　Jack。　And　I　am　sorry　to　say　I　am　afraid　she
is　going　to　be　rather　obstinate　about　going　abroad。　I　think　Tavy
ought　to　speak　to　her　about　it。

OCTAVIUS。　How　can　I　speak　to　her　about　such　a　thing　＇he　breaks
down＇？

ANN。　Don't　break　down；　Ricky。　Try　to　bear　it　for　all　our　sakes。

RAMSDEN。　Life　is　not　all　plays　and　poems；　Octavius。　Come！　face　it
like　a　man。

TANNER。　＇chafing　again＇　Poor　dear　brother！　Poor　dear　friends　of
the　family！　Poor　dear　Tabbies　and　Grimalkins。　Poor　dear　everybody
except　the　woman　who　is　going　to　risk　her　life　to　create　another
life！　Tavy：　don't　you　be　a　selfish　ass。　Away　with　you　and　talk　to
Violet；　and　bring　her　down　here　if　she　cares　to　come。　＇Octavius
rises＇。　Tell　her　we'll　stand　by　her。

RAMSDEN。　＇rising＇　No；　sir

TANNER。　＇rising　also　and　interrupting　him＇　Oh；　we　understand：
it's　against　your　conscience；　but　still　you'll　do　it。

OCTAVIUS。　I　assure　you　all；　on　my　word；　I　never　meant　to　be
selfish。　It's　so　hard　to　know　what　to　do　when　one　wishes
earnestly　to　do　right。

TANNER。　My　dear　Tavy；　your　pious　English　habit　of　regarding　the
world　as　a　moral　gymnasium　built　expressly　to　strengthen　your
character　in；　occasionally　leads　you　to　think　about　your　own
confounded　principles　when　you　should　be　thinking　about　other
people's　necessities。　The　need　of　the　present　hour　is　a　happy
mother　and　a　healthy　baby。　Bend　your　energies　on　that；　and　you
will　see　your　way　clearly　enough。

Octavius；　much　perplexed；　goes　out。

RAMSDEN。　＇facing　Tanner　impressively＇　And　Morality；　sir？　What　is
to　become　of　that？

TANNER。　Meaning　a　weeping　Magdalen　and　an　innocent　child　branded
with　her　shame。　Not　in　our　circle；　thank　you。　Morality　can　go　to
its　father　the　devil。

RAMSDEN。　I　thought　so；　sir。　Morality　sent　to　the　devil　to　please
our　libertines；　male　and　female。　That　is　to　be　the　future　of
England；　is　it？

TANNER。　Oh；　England　will　survive　your　disapproval。　Meanwhile；　I
understand　that　you　agree　with　me　as　to　the　practical　course　we
are　to　take？

RAMSDEN。　Not　in　your　spirit　sir。　Not　for　your　reasons。

TANNER。　You　can　explain　that　if　anybody　calls　you　to　account；
here　or　hereafter。　＇He　turns　away；　and　plants　himself　in　front　of
Mr　Herbert　Spencer；　at　whom　he　stares　gloomily＇。

ANN。　＇rising　and　coming　to　Ramsden＇　Granny：　hadn't　you　better　go
up　to　the　drawingroom　and　tell　them　what　we　intend　to　do？

RAMSDEN。　＇looking　pointedly　at　Tanner＇　I　hardly　like　to　leave　you
alone　with　this　gentleman。　Will　you　not　come　with　me？

ANN。　Miss　Ramsden　would　not　like　to　speak　about　it　before　me；
Granny。　I　ought　not　to　be　present。

RAMSDEN。　You　are　right：　I　should　have　thought　of　that。　You　are　a
good　girl；　Annie。

He　pats　her　on　the　shoulder。　She　looks　up　at　him　with　beaming
eyes　and　he　goes　out；　much　moved。　Having　disposed　of　him；　she
looks　at　Tanner。　His　back　being　turned　to　her；　she　gives　a
moment's　attention　to　her　personal　appearance；　then　softly　goes
to　him　and　speaks　almost　into　his　ear。

ANN。　Jack　＇he　turns　with　a　start＇：　are　you　glad　that　you　are　my
guardian？　You　don't　mind　being　made　responsible　for　me；　I　hope。

TANNER。　The　latest　addition　to　your　collection　of　scapegoats；
eh？

ANN。　Oh；　that　stupid　old　joke　of　yours　about　me！　Do　please　drop
it。　Why　do　you　say　things　that　you　know　must　pain　me？　I　do　my
best　to　please　you；　Jack：　I　suppose　I　may　tell　you　so　now　that
you　are　my　guardian。　You　will　make　me　so　unhappy　if　you　refuse　to
be　friends　with　me。

TANNER。　＇studying　her　as　gloomily　as　he　studied　the　dust＇　You
need　not　go　begging　for　my　regard。　How　unreal　our　moral　judgments
are！　You　seem　to　me　to　have　absolutely　no　conscienceonly
hypocrisy；　and　you　can't　see　the　differenceyet　there　is　a　sort
of　fascination　about　you。　I　always　attend　to　you；　somehow。　I
should　miss　you　if　I　lost　you。

ANN。　＇tranquilly　slipping　her　arm　into　his　and　walking　about　with
him＇　But　isn't　that　only　natural；　Jack？　We　have　known　each　other
since　we　were　children。　Do　you　remember？

TANNER。　＇abruptly　breaking　loose＇　Stop！　I　remember　EVERYTHING。

ANN。　Oh；　I　daresay　we　were　often　very　silly；　but

TANNER。　I　won't　have　it；　Ann。　I　am　no　more　that　schoolboy　now
than　I　am　the　dotard　of　ninety　I　shall　grow　into　if　I　live　long
enough。　It　is　over：　let　me　forget　it。

ANN。　Wasn't　it　a　happy　time？　＇She　attempts　to　take　his　arm
again＇。

TANNER。　Sit　down　and　behave　yourself。　＇He　makes　her　sit　down　in
the　chair　next　the　writing　table＇。　No　doubt　it　was　a　happy　time
for　you。　You　were　a　good　girl　and　never　compromised　yourself。　And
yet　the　wickedest　child　that　ever　was　slapped　could　hardly　have
had　a　better　time。　I　can　understand　the　success　with　which　you
bullied　the　other　girls：　your　virtue　imposed　on　them。　But　tell　me
this：　did　you　ever　know　a　good　boy？

ANN。　Of　course。　All　boys　are　foolish　sometimes；　but　Tavy　was
always　a　really　good　boy。

TANNER。　＇struck　by　this＇　Yes：　you're　right。　For　some　reason　you
never　tempted　Tavy。

ANN。　Tempted！　Jack！

TANNER。　Yes；　my　dear　Lady　Mephistopheles；　tempted。　You　were
insatiably　curious　as　to　what　a　boy　might　be　capable　of；　and
diabolically　clever　at　getting　through　his　guard　and　surprising
his　inmost　secrets。

ANN。　What　nonsense！　All　because　you　used　to　tell　me　long　stories
of　the　wicked　things　you　had　donesilly　boys　tricks！　And　you
call　such　things　inmost　secrets：　Boys'　secrets　are　just　like
men's；　and　you　know　what　they　are！

TANNER。　＇obstinately＇　No　I　don't。　What　are　they；　pray？

ANN。　Why；　the　things　they　tell　everybody；　of　course。

TANNER。　Now　I　swear　I　told　you　things　I　told　no　one　else。　You
lured　me　into　a　compact　by　which　we　were　to　have　no　secrets　from
one　another。　We　were　to　tell　one　another　everything；　I　didn't
notice　that　you　never　told　me　anything。

ANN。　You　didn't　want　to　talk　about　me；　Jack。　You　wanted　to　talk
about　yourself。

TANNER。　Ah；　true；　horribly　true。　But　what　a　devil　of　a　child　you
must　have　been　to　know　that　weakness　and　to　play　on　it　for　the
satisfaction　of　your　own　curiosity！　I　wanted　to　brag　to　you；　to
make　myself　interesting。　And　I　found　myself　doing　all　sorts　of
mischievous　things　simply　to　have　something　to　tell　you　about。　I
fought　with　boys　I　didn't　hate；　I　lied　about　things　I　might　just
as　well　have　told　the　truth　about；　I　stole　things　I　didn't　want；
I　kissed　little　girls　I　didn't　care　for。　It　was　all　bravado：
passionless　and　therefore　unreal。

ANN。　I　never　told　of　you；　Jack。

TANNER。　No；　but　if　you　had　wanted　to　stop　me　you　would　have　told
of　me。　You　wanted　me　to　go　on。

ANN。　＇flashing　out＇　Oh；　that's　not　true：　it's　NOT　true；　Jack。　I
never　wanted　you　to　do　those　dull；　disappointing；　brutal；　stupid；
vulgar　things。　I　always　hoped　that　it　would　be　something　really
heroic　at　last。　＇Recovering　herself＇　Excuse　me；　Jack；　but　the
things　you　did　were　never　a　bit　like　the　things　I　wanted　you　to
do。　They　often　gave　me　great　uneasiness；　but　I　could　not　tell　on
you　and　get　you　into　trouble。　And　you　were　only　a　boy。　I　knew　you
would　grow　out　of　them。　Perhaps　I　was　wrong。

TANNER。　＇sardonically＇　Do　not　give　way　to　remorse；　Ann。　At　least
nineteen　twentieths　of　the　exploits　I　confessed　to　you　were　pure
lies。　I　soon　noticed　that　you　didn't　like　the　true　stories。

ANN。　Of　course　I　knew　that　some　of　the　things　couldn't　have
happened。　But

TANNER。　You　are　going　to　remind　me　that　some　of　the　most
disgraceful　ones　did。

ANN。　＇fondly；　to　his　great　terror＇　I　don't　want　to　remind　you　of
anything。　But　I　knew　the　people　they　happened　to；　and　heard　about
them。

TANNER。　Yes；　but　even　the　true　stories　were　touched　up　for
telling。　A　sensitive　boy's　humiliations　may　be　very　good　fun　for
ordinary　thickskinned　grown…ups；　but　to　the　boy　himself　they　are
so　acute；　so　ignominious；　that　he　cannot　confess　themcannot　but
deny　them　passionately。　However；　perhaps　it　was　as　well　for　me
that　I　romanced　a　bit；　for；　on　the　one　occasion　when　I　told　you
the　truth；　you　threatened　to　tell　of　me。

ANN。　Oh；　never。　Never　once。

TANNER。　Yes；　you　did。　Do　you　remember　a　dark…eyed　girl　named
Rachel　Rosetree？　＇Ann's　brows　contract　for　an　instant
involuntarily＇。　I　got　up　a　love　affair　with　her；　and　we　met　one
night　in　the　garden　and　walked　about　very　uncomfortably　with　our
arms　round　one　another；　and　kissed　at　parting；　and　were　most
conscientiously　romantic。　If　that　love　affair　had　gone　on；　it
would　have　bored　me　to　death；　but　it　didn't　go　on；　for　the　next
thing　that　happened　was　that　Rachel　cut　me　because　she　found　out
that　I　had　told　you。　How　did　she　find　it　out？　From　you。　You　went
to　her　and　held　the　guilty　secret　over　her　head；　leading　her　a
life　of　abject　terror　and　humiliation　by　threatening　to　tell　on
h