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第29节

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〃the little friend of Baptistin〃 had the hooded cloak of the



Mediterranean sailor thrown over him by their honest hands while



dodging at night under the lee of Chateau daft on the watch for



the lights of ships。  Their sea tanned faces; whiskered or



shaved; lean or full; with the intent; wrinkled sea eyes of the



pilot breed; and here and there a thin gold hoop at the lobe of a



hairy ear; bent over my sea infancy。  The first operation of



seamanship I had an opportunity of observing was the boarding of



ships at sea; at all times; in all states of the weather。  They



gave it to me to the full。  And I have been invited to sit in



more than one tall; dark house of the old town at their



hospitable board; had the bouillabaisse ladled out into a thick



plate by their high…voiced; broad…browed wives; talked to their



daughtersthick…set girls; with pure profiles; glorious masses



of black hair arranged with complicated art; dark eyes; and



dazzlingly white teeth。







I had also other acquaintances of quite a different sort。  One of



them; Madame Delestang; an imperious; handsome lady in a



statuesque style; would carry me off now and then on the front



seat of her carriage to the Prado; at the hour of fashionable



airing。  She belonged to one of the old aristocratic families in



the south。  In her haughty weariness she used to make me think of



Lady Dedlock in Dickens's 〃Bleak House;〃 a work of the master for



which I have such an admiration; or rather such an intense and



unreasoning affection; dating from the days of my childhood; that



its very weaknesses are more precious to me than the strength of



other men's work。  I have read it innumerable times; both in



Polish and in English; I have read it only the other day; and; by



a not very surprising inversion; the Lady Dedlock of the book



reminded me strongly of the 〃belle Madame Delestang。〃







Her husband (as I sat facing them both); with his thin; bony nose



and a perfectly bloodless; narrow physiognomy clamped together;



as it were; by short; formal side whiskers; had nothing of Sir



Leicester Dedlock's 〃grand air〃 and courtly solemnity。  He



belonged to the haute bourgeoisie only; and was a banker; with



whom a modest credit had been opened for my needs。  He was such



an ardentno; such a frozen…up; mummified Royalist that he used



in current conversation turns of speech contemporary; I should



say; with the good Henri Quatre; and when talking of money



matters; reckoned not in francs; like the common; godless herd of



post…Revolutionary Frenchmen; but in obsolete and forgotten



ecusecus of all money units in the world!as though Louis



Quatorze were still promenading in royal splendour the gardens of



Versailles; and Monsieur de Colbert busy with the direction of



maritime affairs。  You must admit that in a banker of the



nineteenth century it was a quaint idiosyncrasy。  Luckily; in the



counting…house (it occupied part of the ground floor of the



Delestang town residence; in a silent; shady street) the accounts



were kept in modern money; so that I never had any difficulty in



making my wants known to the grave; low…voiced; decorous;



Legitimist (I suppose) clerks; sitting in the perpetual gloom of



heavily barred windows behind the sombre; ancient counters;



beneath lofty ceilings with heavily molded cornices。  I always



felt; on going out; as though I had been in the temple of some



very dignified but completely temporal religion。  And it was



generally on these occasions that under the great carriage



gateway Lady DedI mean Madame Delestangcatching sight of my



raised hat; would beckon me with an amiable imperiousness to the



side of the carriage; and suggest with an air of amused



nonchalance; 〃Venez donc faire un tour avec nous;〃 to which the



husband would add an encouraging 〃C'est ca。  Allons; montez;



jeune homme。〃  He questioned me some times; significantly but



with perfect tact and delicacy; as to the way I employed my time;



and never failed to express the hope that I wrote regularly to my



〃honoured uncle。〃  I made no secret of the way I employed my



time; and I rather fancy that my artless tales of the pilots and



so on entertained Madame Delestang so far as that ineffable woman



could be entertained by the prattle of a youngster very full of



his new experience among strange men and strange sensations。  She



expressed no opinions; and talked to me very little; yet her



portrait hangs in the gallery of my intimate memories; fixed



there by a short and fleeting episode。  One day; after putting me



down at the corner of a street; she offered me her hand; and



detained me; by a slight pressure; for a moment。  While the



husband sat motionless and looking straight before him; she



leaned forward in the carriage to say; with just a shade of



warning in her leisurely tone: 〃Il faut; cependant; faire



attention a ne pas gater sa vie。〃  I had never seen her face so



close to mine before。  She made my heart beat and caused me to



remain thoughtful for a whole evening。  Certainly one must; after



all; take care not to spoil one's life。  But she did not know



nobody could knowhow impossible that danger seemed to me。











VII







Can the transports of first love be calmed; checked; turned to a



cold suspicion of the future by a grave quotation from a work on



political economy?  I askis it conceivable?  Is it possible? 



Would it be right?  With my feet on the very shores of the sea



and about to embrace my blue…eyed dream; what could a



good…natured warning as to spoiling one's life mean to my



youthful passion?  It was the most unexpected and the last; too;



of the many warnings I had received。 It sounded to me very



bizarreand; uttered as it was in the very presence of my



enchantress; like the voice of folly; the voice of ignorance。 



But I was not so callous or so stupid as not to recognize there



also the voice of kindness。  And then the vagueness of the



warningbecause what can be the meaning of the phrase: to spoil



one's life?arrested one's attention by its air of wise



profundity。  At any rate; as I have said before; the words of la



belle Madame Delestang made me thoughtful for a whole evening。  I



tried to understand and tried in vain; not having any notion of



life as an enterprise that could be mi managed。  But I left off



being thoughtful shortly before midnight; at which hour; haunted



by no ghosts of the past and by no visions of the future; I



walked down the quay of the Vieux Port to join the pilot…boat of



my friends。  I knew where she would be waiting for her crew; in



the little bit of a canal behind the fort at the entrance of the



harbour。  The deserted quays looked very white and dry in the



moonlight; and as if frostbound in the sharp air of that December



night。  A prowler or two slunk by noiselessly; a custom…house



guard; soldier…like; a sword by his side; paced close under the



bowsprits of the long row of ships moored bows on opposite the



long; slightly curved; continuous flat wall of the tall houses



that seemed to be one immense abandoned building with innumerable



windows shuttered closely。  Only here and there a small; dingy



cafe for sailors cast a yellow gleam on the bluish sheen of the



flagstones。  Passing by; one heard a deep murmur of voices



insidenothing more。  How quiet everything was at the end of the



quays on the last night on which I went out for a service cruise



as a guest of the Marseilles pilots!  Not a footstep; except my



own; not a sigh; not a whispering echo of the usual revelry going



on in the narrow; unspeakable lanes of the Old Town reached my



earand suddenly; with a terrific jingling rattle of iron and



glass; the omnibus of the Jolliette on its last journey swung



around the corner of the dead wall which faces across the paved



road the characteristic angular mass of the Fort St。 Jean。 Three



horses trotted abreast; with the clatter of hoofs on the granite



setts; and the yellow; uproarious machine jolted violently behind



them; fantastic; lighted up; perfectly empty; and with the driver



apparently asleep on his swaying perch above that amazing racket。



I flattened myself against the wall and gasped。 It was a stunning



experience。  Then after staggering on a few paces in the shadow



of the fort; casting a darkness more intense than that of a



clouded night upon the canal; I saw the tiny light of a lantern



standing on the quay; and became aware of muffled figures making



toward it from various di

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