to the last man-第45节
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The dark storm cloud with its white; ragged ropes of lightning and
down…streaming gray veils of rain; the purple gulf rolling like a
colored sea to the dim mountains; the glorious golden light of the
sunthese had enchanted her eyes with her beauty of the universe。
They had burst the windows of her blindness。 When she crawled into
the green…brown covert it was to escape too great perception。 She
needed to be encompassed by close; tangible things。 And there her
body paid the tribute to the realization of life。 Shock; convulsion;
pain; relaxation; and then unutterable and insupportable sensing of
her environment and the heart! In one way she was a wild animal
alone in the woods; forced into the mating that meant reproduction
of its kind。 In another she was an infinitely higher being shot
through and through with the most resistless and mysterious transport
that life could give to flesh。
And when that spell slackened its hold there wedged into her mind a
consciousness of the man she lovedJean Isbel。 Then emotion and
thought strove for mastery over her。 It was not herself or love that
she loved; but a living man。 Suddenly he existed so clearly for her
that she could see him; hear him; almost feel him。 Her whole soul;
her very life cried out to him for protection; for salvation; for love;
for fulfillment。 No denial; no doubt marred the white blaze of her
realization。 From the instant that she had looked up into Jean Isbel's
dark face she had loved him。 Only she had not known。 She bowed now;
and bent; and humbly quivered under the mastery of something beyond
her ken。 Thought clung to the beginnings of her romanceto the
three times she had seen him。 Every look; every word; every act of
his returned to her now in the light of the truth。 Love at first sight!
He had sworn it; bitterly; eloquently; scornful of her doubts。 And now
a blind; sweet; shuddering ecstasy swayed her。 How weak and frail
seemed her bodytoo small; too slight for this monstrous and terrible
engine of fire and lightning and fury and gloryher heart! It must
burst or break。 Relentlessly memory pursued Ellen; and her thoughts
whirled and emotion conquered her。 At last she quivered up to her
knees as if lashed to action。 It seemed that first kiss of Isbel's;
cool and gentle and timid; was on her lips。 And her eyes closed and
hot tears welled from under her lids。 Her groping hands found only
the dead twigs and the pine boughs of the trees。 Had she reached out
to clasp him? Then hard and violent on her mouth and cheek and neck
burned those other kisses of Isbel's; and with the flashing; stinging
memory came the truth that now she would have bartered her soul for them。
Utterly she surrendered to the resistlessness of this love。 Her loss
of mother and friends; her wandering from one wild place to another;
her lonely life among bold and rough men; had developed her for violent
love。 It overthrew all pride; it engendered humility; it killed hate。
Ellen wiped the tears from her eyes; and as she knelt there she swept
to her breast a fragrant spreading bough of pine needles。 〃I'll go to
him;〃 she whispered。 〃I'll tell him ofof mymy love。 I'll tell him
to take me awayaway to the end of the worldaway from heahbefore
it's too late!〃
It was a solemn; beautiful moment。 But the last spoken words lingered
hauntingly。 〃Too late?〃 she whispered。
And suddenly it seemed that death itself shuddered in her soul。
Too late! It was too late。 She had killed his love。 That Jorth
blood in herthat poisonous hatehad chosen the only way to strike
this noble Isbel to the heart。 Basely; with an abandonment of womanhood;
she had mockingly perjured her soul with a vile lie。 She writhed; she
shook under the whip of this inconceivable fact。 Lost! Lost! She
wailed her misery。 She might as well be what she had made Jean Isbel
think she was。 If she had been shamed before; she was now abased;
degraded; lost in her own sight。 And if she would have given her
soul for his kisses; she now would have killed herself to earn back
his respect。 Jean Isbel had given her at sight the deference that
she had unconsciously craved; and the love that would have been her
salvation。 What a horrible mistake she had made of her life! Not her
mother's blood; but her father'sthe Jorth bloodhad been her ruin。
Again Ellen fell upon the soft pine…needle mat; face down; and she
groveled and burrowed there; in an agony that could not bear the sense
of light。 All she had suffered was as nothing to this。 To have awakened
to a splendid and uplifting love for a man whom she had imagined she
hated; who had fought for her name and had killed in revenge for the
dishonor she had avowedto have lost his love and what was infinitely
more precious to her now in her ignominyhis faith in her puritythis
broke her heart。
CHAPTER XI
When Ellen; utterly spent in body and mind; reached home that day a
melancholy; sultry twilight was falling。 Fitful flares of sheet
lightning swept across the dark horizon to the east。 The cabins were
deserted。 Antonio and the Mexican woman were gone。 The circumstances
made Ellen wonder; but she was too tired and too sunken in spirit to
think long about it or to care。 She fed and watered her horse and
left him in the corral。 Then; supperless and without removing her
clothes; she threw herself upon the bed; and at once sank into heavy
slumber。
Sometime during the night she awoke。 Coyotes were yelping; and from
that sound she concluded it was near dawn。 Her body ached; her mind
seemed dull。 Drowsily she was sinking into slumber again when she
heard the rapid clip…clop of trotting horses。 Startled; she raised
her head to listen。 The men were coming back。 Relief and dread
seemed to clear her stupor。
The trotting horses stopped across the lane from her cabin; evidently
at the corral where she had left Spades。 She heard him whistle。
》From the sound of hoofs she judged the number of horses to be six or
eight。 Low voices of men mingled with thuds and cracking of straps
and flopping of saddles on the ground。 After that the heavy tread
of boots sounded on the porch of the cabin opposite。 A door creaked
on its hinges。 Next a slow footstep; accompanied by clinking of spurs;
approached Ellen's door; and a heavy hand banged upon it。 She knew
this person could not be her father。
〃Hullo; Ellen!〃
She recognized the voice as belonging to Colter。 Somehow its tone;
or something about it; sent a little shiver clown her spine。 It acted
like a revivifying current。 Ellen lost her dragging lethargy。
〃Hey; Ellen; are y'u there?〃 added Colter; louder voice。
〃Yes。 Of course I'm heah;〃 she replied。 What do y'u want?〃
〃WalI'm shore glad y'u're home;〃 he replied。 〃Antonio's gone with
his squaw。 An' I was some worried aboot y'u。〃
〃Who's with y'u; Colter?〃 queried Ellen; sitting up。
〃Rock Wells an' Springer。 Tad Jorth was with us; but we had to leave
him over heah in a cabin。〃
〃What's the matter with him?〃
〃Wal; he's hurt tolerable bad;〃 was the slow reply。
Ellen heard Colter's spurs jangle; as if he had uneasily shifted his feet。
〃Where's dad an' Uncle Jackson?〃 asked Ellen。
A silence pregnant enough to augment Ellen's dread finally broke to
Colter's voice; somehow different。 〃Shore they're back on the trail。
An' we're to meet them where we left Tad。〃
〃Are yu goin' away again?〃
〃I reckon。 。 。 。 An'; Ellen; y'u're goin' with us。〃
〃I am not;〃 she retorted。
〃Wal; y'u are; if I have to pack y'u;〃 he replied; forcibly。 〃It's not
safe heah any more。 That damned half…breed Isbel with his gang are on
our trail。〃
That name seemed like a red…hot blade at Ellen's leaden heart。
She wanted to fling a hundred queries on Colter; but she could
not utter one。
〃Ellen; we've got to hit the trail an' hide;〃 continued Colter;
anxiously。 〃Y'u mustn't stay heah alone。 Suppose them Isbels would
trap y'u! 。 。 。 They'd tear your clothes off an' rope y'u to a tree。
Ellen; shore y'u're goin'。 。 。 。 Y'u heah me! 〃
〃YesI'll go;〃 she replied; as if forced。
〃Walthat's good;〃 he said; quickly。 〃An' rustle tolerable lively。
We've got to pack。〃
The slow jangle of Colter's spurs and his slow steps moved away out of
Ellen's hearing。 Throwing off the blankets; she put her feet to the
floor and sat there a moment staring at the blank nothingness of the
cabin interior in the obscure gray of dawn。 Cold; gray; dreary;
obscurelike her life; her future! And she was compelled to do what
was hateful to her。 As a Jorth she must take to the unfrequented trails
and hide like a rabbit in the thickets。 But the interest of the moment;
a premonition of events to be; quickened her into action。
Ellen unbarred the door to let in the light。 Day was breaking with an
intense; clear; steely light in the east through which the morning star
still shone white。 A ruddy flare betokened the advent of the sun。
Ellen unbraided her tangled hair and brushed and combed it。 A queer;
still pang came to her at sight of pine needles tangled in her brown
locks。 Then she washed her hands and face。 Breakfast was a matter
of considerable work and s