to the last man-第44节
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〃Oh nohe doesn't!〃 faltered Ellen。
〃Wal; he jest does。〃
〃Oh; Uncle John; he cain't believe that!〃 she cried。
〃Of course he can。 He does。 You are goodgood as gold; Ellen; an'
he knows it。 。 。 。 What a queer deal it all is! Poor devil! To love
you thet turribly an' hev to fight your people! Ellen; your dad had
it correct。 Isbel or not; he's a man。 。 。 。 An' I say what a shame
you two are divided by hate。 Hate thet you hed nothin' to do with。〃
Sprague patted her head and rose to go。 〃Mebbe thet fight will end
the trouble。 I reckon it will。 Don't cross bridges till you come to
them; Ellen。 ; 。 。 I must hurry back now。 I didn't take time to unpack
my burros。 Come up soon。 。 。 。 An'; say; Ellen; don't think hard any
more of thet Jean Isbel。〃
Sprague strode away; and Ellen neither heard nor saw him go。 She sat
perfectly motionless; yet had a strange sensation of being lifted by
invisible and mighty power。 It was like movement felt in a dream。
She was being impelled upward when her body seemed immovable as stone。
When her blood beat down this deadlock of an her physical being and
rushed on and on through her veins it gave her an irresistible impulse
to fly; to sail through space; to ran and run and ran。
And on the moment the black horse; Spades; coming from the meadow;
whinnied at sight of her。 Ellen leaped up and ran swiftly; but her
feet seemed to be stumbling。 She hugged the horse and buried her hot
face in his mane and clung to him。 Then just as violently she rushed
for her saddle and bridle and carried the heavy weight as easily as if
it had been an empty sack。 Throwing them upon him; she buckled and
strapped with strong; eager hands。 It never occurred to her that she
was not dressed to ride。 Up she flung herself。 And the horse; sensing
her spirit; plunged into strong; free gait down the canyon trail。
The ride; the action; the thrill; the sensations of violence were not
all she needed。 Solitude; the empty aisles of the forest; the far miles
of lonely wildernesswere these the added all? Spades took a swinging;
rhythmic lope up the winding trail。 The wind fanned her hot face。 The
sting of whipping aspen branches was pleasant。 A deep rumble of thunder
shook the sultry air。 Up beyond the green slope of the canyon massed
the creamy clouds; shading darker and darker。 Spades loped on the
levels; leaped the washes; trotted over the rocky ground; and took to
a walk up the long slope。 Ellen dropped the reins over the pommel。
Her hands could not stay set on anything。 They pressed her breast
and flew out to caress the white aspens and to tear at the maple leaves;
and gather the lavender juniper berries; and came back again to her heart。
Her heart that was going to burst or break! As it had swelled; so now
it labored。 It could not keep pace with her needs。 All that was physical;
all that was living in her had to be unleashed。
Spades gained the level forest。 How the great; brown…green pines seemed
to bend their lofty branches over her; protectively; understandingly。
Patches of azure…blue sky flashed between the trees。 The great white
clouds sailed along with her; and shafts of golden sunlight; flecked
with gleams of falling pine needles; shone down through the canopy
overhead。 Away in front of her; up the slow heave of forest land;
boomed the heavy thunderbolts along the battlements of the Rim。
Was she riding to escape from herself? For no gait suited her until
Spades was running hard and fast through the glades。 Then the pressure
of dry wind; the thick odor of pine; the flashes of brown and green and
gold and blue; the soft; rhythmic thuds of hoofs; the feel of the powerful
horse under her; the whip of spruce branches on her muscles contracting
and expanding in hard actionall these sensations seemed to quell for
the time the mounting cataclysm in her heart。
The oak swales; the maple thickets; the aspen groves; the pine…shaded
aisles; and the miles of silver spruce all sped by her; as if she had
ridden the wind; and through the forest ahead shone the vast open of
the Basin; gloomed by purple and silver cloud; shadowed by gray storm;
and in the west brightened by golden sky。
Straight to the Rim she had ridden; and to the point where she had
watched Jean Isbel that unforgetable day。 She rode to the promontory
behind the pine thicket and beheld a scene which stayed her restless
hands upon her heaving breast。
The world of sky and cloud and earthly abyss seemed one of storm…sundered
grandeur。 The air was sultry and still; and smelled of the peculiar
burnt…wood odor caused by lightning striking trees。 A few heavy drops
of rain were pattering down from the thin; gray edge of clouds overhead。
To the east hung the storma black cloud lodged against the Rim; from
which long; misty veils of rain streamed down into the gulf。 The roar
of rain sounded like the steady roar of the rapids of a river。 Then a
blue…white; piercingly bright; ragged streak of lightning shot down out
of the black cloud。 It struck with a splitting report that shocked the
very wall of rock under Ellen。 Then the heavens seemed to burst open
with thundering crash and close with mighty thundering boom。 Long roar
and longer rumble rolled away to the eastward。 The rain poured down in
roaring cataracts。
The south held a panorama of purple…shrouded range and canyon; canyon
and range; on across the rolling leagues to the dim; lofty peaks; all
canopied over with angry; dusky; low…drifting clouds; horizon…wide;
smoky; and sulphurous。 And as Ellen watched; hands pressed to her
breast; feeling incalculable relief in sight of this tempest and gulf
that resembled her soul; the sun burst out from behind the long bank
of purple cloud in the west and flooded the world there with golden
lightning。
〃It is for me!〃 cried Ellen。 〃My mindmy heartmy very soul。 。 。 。
Oh; I know! I know now! 。 。 。 I love himlove himlove him!〃
She cried it out to the elements。 〃Oh; I love Jean Isbelan' my
heart will burst or break!〃
The might of her passion was like the blaze of the sun。 Before it all
else retreated; diminished。 The suddenness of the truth dimmed her sight。
But she saw clearly enough to crawl into the pine thicket; through the
clutching; dry twigs; over the mats of fragrant needles to the covert
where she had once spied upon Jean Isbel。 And here she lay face down
for a while; hands clutching the needles; breast pressed hard upon the
ground; stricken and spent。 But vitality was exceeding strong in her。
It passed; that weakness of realization; and she awakened to the
consciousness of love。
But in the beginning it was not consciousness of the man。 It was new;
sensorial life; elemental; primitive; a liberation of a million inherited
instincts; quivering and physical; over which Ellen had no more control
than she had over the glory of the sun。 If she thought at all it was
of her need to be hidden; like an animal; low down near the earth;
covered by green thicket; lost in the wildness of nature。 She went
to nature; unconsciously seeking a mother。 And love was a birth from
the depths of her; like a rushing spring of pure water; long underground;
and at last propelled to the surface by a convulsion。
Ellen gradually lost her tense rigidity and relaxed。 Her body softened。
She rolled over until her face caught the lacy; golden shadows cast by
sun and bough。 Scattered drops of rain pattered around her。 The air
was hot; and its odor was that of dry pine and spruce fragrance penetrated
by brimstone from the lightning。 The nest where she lay was warm and
sweet。 No eye save that of nature saw her in her abandonment。 An
ineffable and exquisite smile wreathed her lips; dreamy; sad; sensuous;
the supremity of unconscious happiness。 Over her dark and eloquent eyes;
as Ellen gazed upward; spread a luminous film; a veil。 She was looking
intensely; yet she did not see。 The wilderness enveloped her with its
secretive; elemental sheaths of rock; of tree; of cloud; of sunlight。
Through her thrilling skin poured the multiple and nameless sensations
of the living organism stirred to supreme sensitiveness。 She could not
lie still; but all her movements were gentle; involuntary。 The slow
reaching out of her hand; to grasp at nothing visible; was similar to
the lazy stretching of her limbs; to the heave of her breast; to the
ripple of muscle。
Ellen knew not what she felt。 To live that sublime hour was beyond
thought。 Such happiness was like the first dawn of the world to the
sight of man。 It had to do with bygone ages。 Her heart; her blood;
her flesh; her very bones were filled with instincts and emotions common
to the race before intellect developed ; when the savage lived only with
his sensorial perceptions。 Of all happiness; joy; bliss; rapture to
which man was heir; that of intense and exquisite preoccupation of the
senses; unhindered and unburdened by thought; was the greatest。 Ellen
felt that which life meant with its inscrutable design。 Love was only
the realization of her mission on the earth。
The dark storm cloud with its white; ragged ropes of lightning and
down…streaming gray veils of rain