the captives-第86节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
show her disapproval and thought it was nice of her。
〃Do you really think？〃 said Grace。 〃Oh； perhaps； after all〃
〃Paul；〃 said Maggie； 〃do you not want me to see the Toms？〃
Paul was distressed。
〃No； it isn't that 。 。 。Miss Toms is a very nice woman。 Only〃
〃You think it's not natural of me to take an interest in some one who's a little off his head like Mr。 Toms。〃
〃Well； dear； perhaps there is something〃
Maggie laughed。 〃I'm a little off my head too。 Oh！ you needn't look so shocked； Grace。 You know you think it； and every one else here thinks it too。 Now； Grace； confess。 You're beginning to be horrified that Paul married me。〃
〃Please； Maggie〃 said Paul； who hated scenes。 Grace was always flushed by a direct attack。 Her eyes gazed in despair about her while she plunged about in her mind。
〃Maggie； you mustn't say such thingsno； you mustn't。 Of course it's true that you've got more to learn than I thought。 You ARE careless； dear； aren't you？ You remember yesterday that you promised to look in at Pettits and get a reel of cotton； and then of course Mr。 Toms is a good little manevery one says sobut at the same time he's QUEER； you must admit that； Maggie； indeed it wasn't really very long ago that he asked Mrs。 Maxse in the High Street to take all her clothes off so that he could see what she was really made of。 Now； that ISN'T nice； Maggie； it's oddyou can't deny it。 And if you'd only told me that you hadn't been to Pettits I could have gone later myself。〃
〃If it isn't one thing；〃 said Maggie； 〃it's another。 I may be a child and careless； and not be educated； and have strange ideas； but if you thought； Grace； that it was going to be just the same after Paul was married as before you were mistaken。 Three's a difficult number to manage； you know。〃
〃Oh； if you mean；〃 said Grace； crimsoning； 〃that I'm better away； that I should live somewhere else； please say so openly。 I hate this hinting。 What I mean to say is I can leave to…morrow。〃
〃My dear Grace；〃 said Paul hurriedly； 〃whoever thought such a thing？ We couldn't get on without you。 All that Maggie meant was that it takes time to settle down。 So it does。〃
〃That isn't all I meant；〃 said Maggie slowly。 〃I meant that I'm not just a child as you both think。 I've got a life of my own and ideas of my own。 I'll give way to you both in lots of things so long as it makes you happy； but you're notyou're not going to shut me up as you'd like to do to Mr。 Toms。〃
Perhaps both Grace and Paul had a sharp troubling impression of having caught some strange creature against their will。 Maggie had risen from the table and stood for the moment by the door facing them； her short hair； standing thick about her head； contrasting with her thick white neck； her body balanced clumsily but with great strength； like that of a boy who has not yet grown to his full maturity。 She tossed her head back in a way that she had and was gone。
The Caroline affair was of another sort。 Some days after Christmas； Maggie went to have tea with Caroline。 She did not enjoy it at all。 She felt at once that there was something wrong with the house。 It was full of paintings in big gold frames； looking…glasses； and marble statues； and there was a large garden that had an artificial look of having been painted by some clever artist in the course of a night。 Maggie did not pay a long visit。 There were a number of men present； there was also a gramophone； and after tea they turned up the carpet in the dining…room and danced。
Caroline； in spite of her noise and laughter； did not seem to Maggie to be happy。 She introduced her for a moment to the master of the house； a stout red…faced man who looked as though he had lost something very precious； but was too sleepy to search for it。 He called Caroline 〃Sweet；〃 and she treated him with patronage and contempt。 Maggie came away distressed； and she was not surprised to hear； a day or two later； from Grace that Mrs。 Purdie was 〃fast〃 and had been rude to Mrs。 Constantine。
One day early in the spring Grace announced that Maggie ought not to go and see Mrs。 Purdie any more。 〃There are all sorts of stories；〃 said Grace。 〃People sayOh； well； never mind。 They have dancing on Sunday。〃
〃But she's an old friend of mine；〃 said Maggie。
〃You have others to think of beside yourself； Maggie；〃 said Grace。 〃And there is the Church。〃
〃She's an old friend of mine；〃 repeated Maggie； her mouth set obstinately。
〃I will ask Paul what he thinks；〃 said Grace。
〃Please；〃 said Maggie； her colour rising into her cheeks； 〃don't interfere between Paul and me。 I'll speak to him myself。〃
She did。 Paul maintained the attitude of indifference that he had adopted during the last six months。
〃But would you rather I didn't go？〃 asked Maggie； aggravated。
〃You must use your judgment；〃 said Paul。
〃But don't you see that I can't leave a friend just because people are saying nasty things。〃
〃There's your position in the parish；〃 said Paul。
〃Oh； Paul！〃 Maggie cried。 〃Don't be so aggravating！ Just say what you really think。〃
〃I'm sorry I'm aggravating；〃 said Paul patiently。
It was this conversation that determined Maggie。 She had been coming； through all the winter months； to a resolution。 She must be alone with Paul； she must have things out with him。 As the months had gone they had been slipping further and further apart。 It had been Paul who had gradually withdrawn into himself。 He had been kind and thoughtful but reserved； shy； embarrassed。 She understood his trouble； but at her first attempt to force him to speak he escaped and placed Grace between them。 Well； this summer should see the end of that。 They must know where they stood； and for that they must be alone 。 。 。
One day； early in June； Paul announced that he thought of exchanging duties； for the month of August； with a Wiltshire clergyman。 This was Maggie's opportunity。 Finding him alone in his study； she attacked。
〃Paul； did you mean Grace to come with us to Little Harben in August？〃
〃Of course； dear。 She has nowhere else to go。〃
〃Well； she mustn't come。 I've given way about everything since we were married。 I'm not going to give way about this。 That month we are to be alone。〃
〃Alone！〃 said Paul。 〃But we're always alone。〃
〃We're never alone；〃 said Maggie； standing with her legs apart and her hands behind her back。 〃I don't mean to complain about Grace。 She's been very good to me； I know； and I've got much to be grateful for。 All the same she's not coming to Little Harben。 She's got you all the rest of the year。 She can give you up for a month。〃
〃But Maggie〃 said Paul。
〃No； I'm quite determined about this。 I may be a child and a fool； but I know what I'm talking about this time。 You're not happy。 You never talk to me as you used to。 There are many things we ought to have out； but Grace is always there in the daytime and at night you're too tired。 If we go on like this we'll be strangers in another six months。〃
He turned round to stare at her； and she saw in his eyes an odd excited light。
〃Maggie；〃 he said in a low voice。 〃If we go alone to Little Harben does it mean that you thinkyou can begin to love me？〃
She turned her eyes away。 〃I don't know。 I don't know about myself； I only know that I want us to be happy and I want us to be close togetheras we were before we were married。 It's all gone wrong somehow； I'm sure it's my fault。 It was just the same with my father and my aunts。 I couldn't say the things to them I wanted to； the things I really felt； and so I lost them。 I'm going to lose you in the same way if I'm not careful。〃
He still looked at her strangely。 At last； with a sigh； he turned back to his desk。
〃I'll speak to Grace；〃 he said。 That night the storm broke。
During supper Grace was very quiet。 Maggie； watching her； knew that Paul had spoken to her。 Afterwards in the study the atmosphere was electric。 Grace read The Church Times； Paul the Standard； Maggie Longfellow's Golden Legend； which she thought foolish。
Grace looked up。 〃So I understand； Maggie； that you don't want me to come with you and Paul this summer？〃
Maggie； her heart； in spite of herself； thumping in her breast； faced a Grace transfigured by emotion。 That countenance； heavily； flabbily good…natured； the eyes if stupid； also kind； was now marked and riven with a flaming anger。
But Maggie was no coward。 With her old gesture of self…command she stilled her heart。 〃I'm very sorry； Grace；〃 she said。 〃But it's only for a month。 I want to be alone with Paul。〃
Grace； her hands fumbling on the arms of her chair as though she were blind； rose。
〃You've hated my being here； Maggie 。 。 。 all this time I've seen it。 You've hated me。 You don't know that you owe everything to me； that you couldn't have managed the house； the shops； the servants nothing； nothing。 This last year I've worked my fingers to the bone for you and Paul。 What do you think I get out of it？ Nothing。 It's because I love Paul 。 。 。 because I love Paul。 But you've hated my doing things better than you； you've wanted me to fail； you've been jealous； that's what you've been。 Very well； then； I'll go。 You've made that plain enough at any rate。 I'll leave to…morrow。 I won't wait another hour。 And I'll never forgive you
