the captives-第85节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
ut didn't know it。
〃If there's one thing I value it's order。〃 she would say； but in struggling to remember superficial things she forgot all essentials。 Her brain moved just half as slowly as everything else。
That winter was warm and muggy； with continuous showers of warm rain that seamed to change into mud in the air as it fell。
The Church was filled with the clammy mist of its central heating。 Maggie； as she sat through service after service； watched one headache race after another。 The air was full of headache； she asked once that a window might be kept open。 〃That would mean Death in Skeaton。 You don't understand the Skeaton air；〃 said Grace。
〃That's because I don't get enough of it；〃 said Maggie。 She found herself looking back to the Chapel services with wistful regret。 What had there been there that was not here？ Here everything was ordered； arranged； in decent sequence； in regular symmetry and progression。 And yet no one seemed to Maggie to listen to what they were saying； and no one thought of the meaning of the words that they used。
And if they did； of what use would it be？ The affair was all settled； heaven was arrayed； parcelled out； its very streets and courts mapped and described。 It was the destination of every one in the building as surely as though they were travelling to London by the morning express。 They were sated with knowledge of their destinyno curiosity； no wonder； no agitation； no fear。 Even the words of the most beautiful prayers had ceased to have any meaning because the matter had been settled so long ago and there was nothing more to be said。 How that Chapel had throbbed with expectation； with amaze； with curiosity； with struggle！ Foolish much of it perhaps； stifling it had seemed then in its superstition。 Maggie had been afraid then； so afraid that she could not sleep at nights。 How she longed now for that fear to return to her！
At this point she would discover that she was beckoning back to her the figures of that other world。 They must not come 。 。 。 the two worlds must not join or she was lost 。 。 。 she turned her back from her memories and her desires。
During this winter there were the two affairs of Mr。 Toms and Caroline。
Maggie carried out her resolve of calling on Mr。 Toms。 She did it one dark afternoon a few days before Christmas； moved； it must be confessed； partly by a sense of exasperation with Grace。 Grace had been that day quite especially tiresome。 She had a cold； and a new evening dress had cost twice as much as it ought to have done。 Mitch had broken into eczema； and Mrs。 Constantine had overruled her at a committee meeting。 With a flood of disconnected talk she had overwhelmed Maggie until the girl felt as though her head had been thrust into a bag of flour。 Through it all there had been an undercurrent of complaint as though Maggie were responsible。
Early in the afternoon Grace declared that her head was splitting and retired to her bedroom。 Maggie； in a state of blinded and deafened exasperation； remembered Mr。 Toms and decided to call on him。 She found a neat little house standing in a neat little garden near the sea just beyond the end of the Promenade； or The Leas； as the real Skeatonian always called it。 Miss Toms and Mr。 Toms were sitting in a very small room with a large fire； a pale grey wallpaper； and a number of brightly…painted wooden toys arranged on a shelf running round the room。 The toys were of all kindsa farm； cows and sheep； tigers and lions； soldiers and cannon； a church and a butcher's shop； little green tufted trees； and a Noah's ark。 Mr。 Toms was sitting； neat as a pin； smiling in an armchair beside the fire； and Miss Toms near him was reading aloud。
Maggie saw at once that her visit embarrassed Miss Toms terribly。 It was an embarrassment that she understood perfectly； so like her own feelings on so many occasions。 This put her at once at her ease； and she was the old； simple； direct Maggie； her face eager with kindness and understanding。 Mr。 Toms smiled perpetually but shook hands like the little gentleman he was。
Maggie； studying Miss Toms' face； saw that it was lined with troublean ugly face； grave； severe； but brave and proud。 Maggie apologised for not coming before。
〃I would have come〃 she began。
〃Oh； you needn't apologise；〃 said Miss Toms brusquely。 〃They don't call on us here； and we don't want them to。〃
〃They don't call；〃 said Mr。 Toms brightly； 〃because they know I'm queer in the head； and they're afraid I shall do something odd。 They told you I was queer in the head； didn't they？〃
Strangely enough this statement of his 〃queerness；〃 although it brought a lump into Maggie's throat； did not disturb or confuse her。
〃Yes；〃 she said； 〃they did。 I asked who you were after I had seen you in the road that day。〃
〃I'm not in the least dangerous；〃 said Mr。 Toms。 〃You needn't be afraid。 Certain things seem odd to me that don't seem odd to other peoplethat's all。〃
〃The fact is； Mrs。 Trenchard；〃 said Miss Toms； speaking very fast and flushing as she spoke； 〃that we are very happy by ourselves； my brother and I。 He is the greatest friend I have in the world； and I am his。 We are quite sufficient for one another。 I don't want to seem rude； and it's kind of you to have come； but it's better to leave us aloneit is indeed。〃
〃Well； I don't know；〃 bald Maggie； smiling。 〃You see； I'm a little queer myselfat least I think that most of the people here are coming to that conclusion。 I'm sure I'm more queer than your brother。 At any rate I can't do you any harm； and we may as well give it a trial； mayn't we？〃
Mr。 Toms clapped his hands with so sudden a noise that Maggie jumped。
〃That's right；〃 he said。 〃That's the way I like to hear people talk。 You shall judge for yourself； and WE'LL judge for ourselves。〃 His voice was very soft and pleasant。 The only thing at all strange about him was his smile； that came and went like the ripple of firelight on the wall。 〃You'd like to know all about us； wouldn't you？ Well； until ten years ago I was selling corn in the City。 Such a waste of time！ But I took it very seriously then and worked； worked； worked。 I worked too hard； you know； much too hard； and then I was illill for a long time。 When I was better corn didn't seem to be of any importance； and people thought that very odd of me。 I was confused sometimes and called people by their wrong names； and sometimes I said what was in my head instead of saying what was in my stomach。 Every one thought it very odd； and if my dear sister hadn't come to the rescue they would have locked me upthey would indeed！〃
〃Shut me up and never let me walk aboutall because I didn't care for corn any more。〃
He laughed his little chuckling laugh。 〃But we beat them； didn't we； Dorothy？ Yes； we didand here we are！ Now； you tell us your history。〃
Miss Toms had been watching Maggie's face intently while her brother spoke； and the clear steady candour of Maggie's eyes and her calm acceptance of all that the little man said must have been reassuring。
〃Now。 Jim；〃 she said； 〃don't bother Mrs。 Trenchard。 You can't expect her to tell us her history when she's calling for the first time。〃
〃Why not expect me to？〃 said Maggie。 〃I've got no history。 I lived in Glebeshire most of my life with my father； who was a clergyman。 Then he died and I lived with two aunts in London。 Then I met Paul and he married me； and here I am！〃
〃That's not history；〃 said Mr。 Toms a little impatiently。 〃However； I won't bother you now。 You're only a child； I see。 And I'm very glad to see it。 I don't like grown up people。〃
〃How do you like Skeaton？〃 asked Miss Toms； speaking more graciously than she had done。
〃Oh I shall like it； I expect；〃 said Maggie。 〃At least I shall like the people。 I don't think I shall ever like the placethe sand blows about； and I don't like the woods。〃
〃Yes； they're greasy； aren't they？〃 said Mr。 Toms； 〃and full of little flies。 And the trees are dark and never cool〃
They talked a little while longer； and then Maggie got up to say good…bye。 When she took Mr。 Tom's hand and felt his warm confident pressure； and saw his large trusting eyes looking into hers； she felt a warmth of friendliness； also it seemed to her that she had known him all her life。
Miss Toms came with her to the door。 They looked out into the dark。 The sea rustled close at hand； far on the horizon a red light was burning as though it were a great fire。 They could hear the wave break on the beach and sigh in the darkness as it withdrew。
〃I shall come again；〃 said Maggie。
〃Don't you be too sure；〃 said Miss Toms。 〃We shall quite understand if you don't come； and we shan't think the worse of you。 Public opinion here is very strong。 They don't want to be unkind to Jim； but they think he ought to be shut up 。 。 。Shut up！〃 Maggie could feel that she was quivering。 〃Shut up！〃
Maggie tossed her head。
〃Anyway； they haven't shut me up yet；〃 she said。
〃Wellgood…night；〃 said Miss Toms； after a little pause in which she appeared to be struggling to say more。
She told Grace and Paul at supper that night that she had been to see the Toms。 She saw Grace struggling not to show her disapproval and thought it was nice of her。
〃Do you really think？〃 said Grace。 〃Oh； per
