the captives-第68节
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He fidgeted a little； shifting his thick legs； stroking his nose with his finger。
〃I don't know that I've anything very good to tell you； my dear。 Truth is； I haven't been doing so very well lately。〃
〃Oh； Uncle； I'm sorry！〃
〃It's nothing to make yourself miserable about； my dear。 I always turn my corners。 Damn rocky ones they are sometimes too。 Everything's turned itself wrong these last weeks； either too soon or too late。 I don't complain； all the same it makes things a bit inconvenient。 Thank you for that five pounds you sent me； my dear； very helpful it was I can tell you。〃
〃Do you want another five pounds？〃 she asked him。 He struggled with himself。 His hesitation was so obvious that it was quite touching。 She put her hand on his knee。
〃Do have another five pounds； Uncle。 It won't be difficult for me at all。 I've been spending nothing all these weeks when I've been ill。 Please do。〃
He shook his head firmly。
〃No； my dear； I won't。 As I came along I said to myself； 'Now； you'll be asking Maggie for money； and when she says 〃Yes〃 you're not to take it'and so I'm not going to。 I may be a rotterbut I'm not a rotten rotter。〃
He clung to his decision with the utmost resolve as though it were his last plank of respectability。
〃I can't believe；〃 he said to her with great solemnity； 〃that things can really go wrong。 I know too much。 It isn't men like me who go under。 No。 No。〃
He saw then her white face and strange grey ghostly eyes as though her soul had gone somewhere on a visit and the house was untenanted。 He felt again the gulp in his throat。 He bent forward； resting his fat podgy hand on her knee。
〃Don't you worry； Maggie dear。 I've always noticed that things are never bad for long。 You've still got your old uncle； and you're young； and there are plenty of fish in the sea 。 。 。 there are indeed。 You cheer up！ It will be all right soon。〃
She put her hands on his。
〃Oh I'm notworrying。〃 But as she spoke a strange strangled little sob had crept unbidden into her throat； choking her。
He thought； as he got up； 〃It's that damned young feller I gave dinner to。 I'd like to wring his neck。〃
But he said no more； bent closer and kissed her； said he was soon coming again； and went away。
After he had gone the house sank into its grey quiet again。 What was Maggie thinking？ No one knew。 What was Aunt Anne thinking？ No one knew 。 。 。 But there was something between these two； Maggie and Aunt Anne。 Every one felt it and longed for the storm to burst。 Bad enough things outside with Mr。 Warlock dead； members leaving right and left； and the Chapel generally going to wrack and ruin； but inside！
Old Martha； who had never liked Maggie； felt now a strange； uncomfortable pity for her。 She didn't want to feel pity； no； not she； pity for no one； and especially not for an ugly untidy girl like that； but there it was； she couldn't help herself！ Such a child that girl； and she'd been as nearly dead as nothing； and now she was suffering； suffering awful 。 。 。 Any one could see 。 。 。 All that Warlock boy。 Martha had seen him come stumbling down the stairs that day and had heard Maggie's cry and then the fall。 Awful noise it made。 Awful。 She'd stood in the hall； looking up the stairs； her heart beating like a hammer。 Yes； just like a hammer！ Then she'd gone up。 It wasn't a nice sight； the poor girl all in a lump on the floor and Miss Anne just as she always looked before one of her attacks； as though she were made of grey glass from top to toe 。 。 。
But Martha hadn't pitied Maggie then。 Oh； no。 Might as well die as not。 Who wanted her？ No one。 Not even her young man apparently。
Better if she died。 But slowly something happened to Martha。 Not that she was sentimental。 Not in the least。 But thoughts would steal insteal in just when you were at your work。 The girl lying there so good and patientall the pots and pans winking at you from the kitchen…wall。 Must remember to order that ketchupcold last night in bedthink another blanket 。 。 。 yes； very good and patient。 Can't deny it。 Always smiles just that same way。 Smiles at every one except Miss Arne。 Won't smile at her。 Wonder why not？ Something between those two。 What about dinner？ A little onion frythat's the thing these damp daysOnion fryOnion Fry。 ONION FRY 。 。 。 One last look back before the world is filled with the sense； smell； and taste of it。Poor girl； so white and so patientthe young man will never come backnever 。 。 。 never 。 。 。 ONION FRY。
No； no one knew what Maggie was thinking。 No one found out until Maggie had her second visitor； Miss Avies。
When Martha opened the door to Miss Avies she was astonished。 Miss Avies hadn't been near the house since old Warlock died。 What was she wanting here now； with her stiff back and bossy manner。
〃I don't know whether you can see〃
〃Oh nonsense； it's Maggie Cardinal I want to see。 She's now in the drawing…room sitting on a chair with a shawl on by the fire。 Don't tell me！〃
Martha quivered with anger。 〃The doctor's orders is〃
〃I'm going to be doctor to…day；〃 she said； and strode inside。 She went upstairs and found Aunt Elizabeth sitting with Maggie。
〃How do you do； Miss Cardinal？〃 They shook hands； Miss Avies standing over Aunt Elizabeth like the boa constrictor raised above the mouse。
〃That's all right 。 。 。 No； I don't want to see your sister。 And to be quite honest； I don't want to see you either。 It's your niece I want to see。 And alone〃
〃Certainlyit's only the doctor said〃
〃Not to excite her。 I know。 But I'm not going to excite her。 I'm going to give her some medicine。 You come back in half an hour from now。 Will you？ That's right。 Thank you so much。〃
Aunt Elizabeth； unhappy； uncomfortable； filled with misgivings； as in these days she always was； left the room。
〃Well； there 。 。 。 that's right；〃 said Miss Avies； settling herself in the opposite side of the fire from Maggie and looking at her with not unfriendly eyes。 〃How are you？〃
〃Oh much better； thank you；〃 said Maggie。 〃Ever so much better。〃
〃No； you're not；〃 said Miss Avies。 〃And you're only lying when you say you are。 You'll never get better unless you do what I tell you 〃
〃What's that？〃 asked Maggie。
〃Face things。 Face everything。 Have it all out。 Don't leave a bit of it alone； and then just keep what's useful。〃
〃I don't quite know what you mean；〃 said Maggiebut the faint colour had faded from her cheeks and her hands had run together for protection。
Miss Avies's voice softened〃I'm probably going away very soon；〃 she said； 〃going away and not coming back。 All my work's over here。 But I wanted to see you before I went。 You remember another talk we had here？〃
〃Very well；〃 said Maggie。
〃You remember what I told you？〃
〃You told me not to stay here；〃 said Maggie。
〃Yes； I did。〃 said Miss Avies。 〃and I meant it。 The matter with you is that you've been kept here all this time without any proper work to do and that's been very bad for you and made you sit with your hands folded in front of you； your head filling with silly fancies。〃
Maggie couldn't help smiling at this description of herself。
〃Oh； you smile；〃 said Miss Avies vigorously； 〃but it's perfectly true。〃
〃Well； it's all right now。〃 said Maggie； 〃because I am going away as soon as ever I'm well enough。〃 〃What to do？〃 asked Miss Avies。
〃I don't quite know yet；〃 said Maggie。
〃Well； I know；〃 said Miss Avies。 〃You're going away to brood over that young man。〃
Maggie said nothing。
〃Oh I know 。 。 。 It seems cruel of me to speak of it just when you've had such a bad time； but it's kindness really。 If I don't force you to think it all out and face it properly you'll be burying it in some precious spot and always digging it up to look at it。 You face it； my girl。 You say to yourselfwell； he wasn't such a wonderful young man after all。 I can lead my life all right without himof course I can。 I'm not going to be dependent on him and sigh and groan and waste away because I can't see him。 I know what it is。 I've been through it myself。〃
Then there was a pause； then Maggie suddenly looked up and smiled。
〃But you're quite wrong； Miss Avies。 I've no intention of not facing Martin； and I've no intention either of having my life ruined because he's not here。 At first； when I was very ill； I was unhappy； and then I saw how silly I was。〃
〃Why？〃 said Miss Avies with great pleasure。 〃You've got over it already！ I must say I'm delighted because I never thought much of Martin Warlock if you want to know； my dear。 I always thought him a weak young man； and he wouldn't have done you any good。 I'm delightedindeed I am。〃
〃That's not true either；〃 said Maggie quietly。 〃If by getting over it you mean that I don't love Martin you're quite wrong。 I loved him the first moment I saw him and I shall love him in just the same way until I die。 I don't think it matters what he does or where he is so far as loving him goes。 But that doesn't mean I'm sitting and pining。 I'm not。〃
Miss Avies looked at her with displeasure。
〃It's the same thing then；〃 she said。 〃You may fancy you're going to lead an ordinary life again； but all the time you'll just be waiting for him to come back。〃
〃No；〃 said Maggie； 〃I shall not。 I've had plenty of time for thinki
