the captives-第57节

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I　believed　that　you　were　honest。〃

〃I　am　honest！〃　Maggie　broke　in。　Her　aunt　went　on：

〃You　have　used　the　liberty　we　gave　you　during　these　weeks　to　make　yourself　the　talk　of　our　friends。　You　have　been　meeting　Mr。　Martin　Warlock　secretly　every　day。　You　have　been　alone　with　him　in　the　Park　and　at　the　theatre。　I　know　that　you　are　young　and　very　ignorant。　You　could　not　have　known　that　Martin　Warlock　is　a　man　with　whom　no　girl　who　respects　herself　would　be　seen　alone〃

〃That　is　untrue！〃　Maggie　flamed　out。

〃and；〃　went　on　Aunt　Anne；　〃we　would　have　forgiven　that。　It　is　your　deceit　to　ourselves　that　we　cannot　forget。　Day　after　day　you　were　meeting　him　and　pretending　that　you　went　to　your　other　friends。　I　am　disappointed　in　you；　bitterly　disappointed。　I　saw　from　the　first　that　you　did　not　mean　to　care　for　us；　now；　as　well；　you　have　disgraced　us〃

Maggie　began：　〃Yes；　I　have　been　seeing　Martin。　I　didn't　think　it　wrongI　don't　now。　I　didn't　tell　you　because　I　was　afraid　that　you　would　stop　me〃

〃Then　that　shows　that　you　knew　it　was　wrong。〃

〃No；　Aunt　Anneonly　that　you　would　think　it　was　wrong。　I　can　only　go　by　myself；　by　what　I　feel　is　wrong　I　mean。　I've　always　had　to；　all　my　life。　It　would　have　been　no　good　doing　anything　else　at　home；　because　father〃

She　pulled　herself　up。　She　was　not　going　to　defend　herself　or　ask　for　pity。　She　said；　speaking　finally：

〃Yes；　I　have　been　out　with　Martin　every　day。　I　went　to　the　theatre　with　him；　too；　and　also　had　tea　with　him。〃

Maggie　could　see　Aunt　Anne's　anger　rising　higher　and　higher　like　water　in　a　tube。　Her　voice　was　hard　when　she　spoke　againshe　pronounced　judgment：

〃We　see　now　that　you　were　right　when　you　said　that　you　had　better　leave　us。　You　are　free　to　go　as　soon　as　you　wish。　You　have；　of　course；　your　money；　but　if　you　care　to　stay　with　us　until　you　have　found　some　work　you　must　now　obey　our　rules。　While　you　remain　with　us　you　must　not　go　out　unless　my　sister　or　I　accompany　you。〃　Then　her　voice　changed；　softening　a　little。　She　suddenly　raised　her　hands　in　a　gesture　of　appeal：　〃Oh；　Maggie；　Maggie；　turn　to　God。　You　have　rebelled　against　Him。　You　have　refused　to　listen　to　His　voice。　The　end　of　that　can　be　only　misery。　He　loves；　but　He　also　judges。　Even　now；　within　a　day；　a　week；　He　may　come　with　judgment。　Turn　to　Him；　Maggie；　not　because　I　tell　you　but　because　of　the　Truth。　Pray　with　me　now　that　He　may　help　you　and　give　you　strength。〃

Because　she　felt　that　she　had　indeed　treated　them　badly　and　must　do　just　now　what　they　wished；　she　knelt　down　on　the　drawing…room　carpet。　Aunt　Anne　also　knelt　down；　her　figure　stiff　like　iron；　her　raised　hands　once　again　delicate　and　ghost…like。

〃0　Lord　God；〃　she　prayed；　〃this　Thy　servant　comes　to　Thee　and　prays　that　Thou　wilt　give　her　strength　in　her　struggle　with　the　Evil　One。　She　has　been　tempted　and　is　weak；　but　Thou　art　strong　to　save　and　wilt　not　despise　the　least　of　these　Thy　children。〃

〃Come；　O　Lord　the　Father；　and　take　Thy　daughter　into　Thy　loving　care；　and　when　Thou　comest；　in　all　Thy　splendour；　to　redeem　the　world；　I　pray　that　Thou　wilt　find　her　waiting　for　Thee　in　holiness　and　meekness　of　heart。〃

They　rose。　Maggie's　knees　were　sore　with　the　stiff　carpet。　The　family　group　watched　her　from　the　wall　ironically。

She　saw　that　in　spite　of　the　prayer　Aunt　Anne　had　not　forgiven　her。　She　stood　away　from　her；　and　although　her　voice　now　was　not　so　hard；　it　had　lost　altogether　the　tender　note　that　it　used　to　have。

〃Now；　Maggie；　you　must　promise　us　that　you　will　not　see　Martin　Warlock　again。〃

Maggie　flushed。　〃No；　aunt；　I　can't　promise　that。〃

〃Then　we　must　treat　you　as　a　prisoner　whilst　you　are　with　us。〃

〃If　he　wants　to　see　me　I　must　see　him。〃

They　looked　at　one　another。　Aunt　Anne　was　like　a　man　just　then。

〃Very　well。　Until　you　give　us　your　promise　we　must　see　ourselves　that　you　do　not　disgrace　us。〃

There　was　no　more　to　be　said。　It　was　as　though　a　heavy　iron　door　had　rolled　to。

Aunt　Anne　passed　Maggie　and　left　the　room。

Well；　then；　there　was　the　situation。　As　she　remained　in　the　empty　room　she　felt　relief　because　now　she　knew　where　she　was。

If　only　she　could　keep　in　touch　with　Martin　then　nothing　else　at　all　mattered。　But　that　must　be；　otherwise　she　felt　that　she　would　rush　at　them　all　and　tread　them　down　and　break　doors　and　windows　to　get　at　him。

Meanwhile；　how　they　must　all　have　been　talking！　She　felt　no　especial　anger　against　Caroline　Smith。　It　had　been　her　own　fault　for　trusting　that　note　to　her　honour。　Caroline　had　no　honour；　of　course。　Maggie　might　have　guessed　that　from　the　way　that　she　talked　about　other　people。　And　then　probably　she　herself　was　in　love　with　Martin　。　。　。　She　sat　down；　staring　in　front　of　her；　thinking。　They　all　knew；　Amy　Warlock；　Mr。　Thurston；　Miss　Aviesknew　about　that　wonderful；　marvellous　thing；　her　love　for　Martin；　his　for　her。　They　were　turning　it　over　in　their　hands；　soiling　it；　laughing　at　it；　sneering　at　it。　And　what　were　they　doing　to　Martin？　At　that　thought　she　sprang　up　and　began　hurriedly　to　walk　about。　Oh；　they　must　leave　him　alone！　What　were　they　saying　to　him？　They　were　telling　him　how　ridiculous　it　was　to　have　anything　to　do　with　a　plain；　ugly　girl！　And　he？　Was　he　defending　her？　At　the　sudden　suggestion　of　his　disloyalty　indignation　fought　in　her　with　some　strange；　horrible　suspicion。　Yes；　it　would　come　back；　that　thought。　He　was　weak。　He　had　told　her　that　he　was。　He　was　weak。　She　KNEW　that　he　was。　She　would　not　lie　to　herself。　And　then　at　the　thought　of　his　weakness　the　maternal　love　in　her　that　was　the　strongest　instinct　in　her　character　flooded　her　body　and　soul；　so　that　she　did　not　mind　if　he　were　weak；　but　only　wanted　to　defend　him；　to　protect　him　。　。　。

Strangely；　she　felt　more　sure　of　him　at　that　moment　when　she　was　conscious　of　his　weakness　than　she　had　been　when　she　asserted　his　strength。　Beneath　that　weakness　he　would　be　true　to　her　because　he　needed　her。　No　one　else　could　give　him　what　she　did；　he　had　said　so　again　and　again。　And　it　would　always　be　so。　He　would　have　to　come　back　to　her　however　often　he　denied　her。

She　felt　happier　then。　She　could　face　them　all。　She　had　been　bad　to　her　aunts；　too。　She　had　done　them　harm；　and　they　had　been　nothing　but　goodness　to　her。　Apart　from　leaving　Martin　she　would　do　all；　these　next　weeks；　to　please　them。

She　went　up　to　her　bedroom；　and　when　she　reached　it　she　realised；　with　a　little　pang　of　fright；　that　she　was　a　prisoner。　No　more　meetings　outside　Hatchards；　no　more　teas；　no　more　walks　。　。　。　She　looked　out　of　the　window　down　into　the　street。　It　was　a　long　way　down　and　the　figures　walking　were　puppets；　not　human　at　all。　But　the　thing　to　be　thought　of　now　was　the　question　of　letters。　How　was　she　to　get　them　to　the　Strand　Office　and　receive　from　them　Martin's　letters　in　return？　After　long；　anxious　thought　there　seemed　to　be　only　one　way。　There　was　a　kitchen…maid；　Jane；　who　came　every　morning　to　the　house；　did　odd　jobs　in　the　kitchen；　and　went　home　again　in　the　evening。　Maggie　had　seen　the　girl　about　the　house　a　number　of　times；　had　noticed　her　for　her　rebellious；　independent　look；　and　had　felt　some　sympathy　with　her　because　she　was　under　the　harsh　dominion　of　Martha。

Maggie　had　spoken　to　her　once　or　twice　and　the　girl　had　seemed　grateful；　smiling　in　a　kind　of　dark；　tearful　way　under　her　untidy　hair。　Maggie　believed　that　she　would　help　her；　of　course　the　girl　would　get　into　trouble　were　she　discovered；　and　dismissal　would　certainly　follow；　but　it　was　clear　enough　that　she　would　not　in　any　case　be　under　Martha's　government　very　long。　Martha　never　kept　kitchen…maids　for　more　than　a　month　at　a　time。

She　sat　down　at　once　and　wrote　her　first　letter；　sitting　on　her　bed。

DARLING　MARTINThere　has　been　an　explosion　here。　The　aunts　have　told　me　to　give　you　up。　I　could　not　promise　them　that　I　would　not　see　you　and　so　I　am　a　prisoner　here　until　I　leave　them　altogether。　I　won't　leave　them　until　after　the　New　Year；　partly　because　I　gave　a　promise　and　partly　because　it　would　make　more　trouble　for　you　if　I　were　turned　out　just　now。　I　can't　leave　the　house　at　all　unless　I　am　with　one　of　them；　so　I　am　going　to　try　and　send　the　letters　by　the　kitchen…maid　here　who　goes　home　every　day；　and　she　will　fetch　yours　when　she　posts　mine。　I'll　give　her　a　note　to　tell　the　post　people　that　she　is　to　have　them。　Martin；　dear；　try　and　write　every　day；　even　if　it's　only　the　shortest　line；　because　it　is　dreadful　to　be　shut　up　all　day；　and　I　think　of　you　all　the　time　and　wonder　how　you　are。　Don't　be　unhappy；　Martinthat's　the　one　thing　I　couldn't　bear。　If　you're　not；　I'm　not。　There's　no　reason　to　be　unhappy　about　me。　I'm　very　cheerful　indeed　if　I　know　that　you　are　all　right。　You　are　all　right；　aren't　you？　I　do　want　to　know　what　happened　when　you　got　home。　I　quite　understand　that　the　one　thing　you　must　do　now　is　to　keep　your　father　well　and　not　let　anything　trouble　him。　If　the　thought　of　me　troubles　him；　then　tell　him　that　you　are　thinking　of　nothing　but　him　now　and　how　to　make　him　happy。　But　don't　let　them　change　your　feeling　for　me。　You　know　me　better　than　any　of　them　do　and　I　am　just　as　you　know　me；　every　bit。　The　aunts　are　very　angry　because　they　say　I　deceived　them；　but　they　haven't　any　right　to　tell　me　who　I　shall　love；　have　they？　No　one　has。