the captives-第56节

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。　。　。　Martin　。　。　。　Don't　look　like　that。　Oh；　I　love　you　too　much！〃　She　broke　off。　With　a　sudden　movement　she　fell　at　his　feet；　kneeling　there；　she　drew　his　hands　to　her　face；　she　kissed　them；　the　palms　of　his　hands　over　and　over　again。　His　anger　suddenly　left　him。　He　put　his　arms　round　her　and　kissed　her；　first　her　eyes；　then　her　cheeks；　then；　gently；　her　mouth。　〃All　right；〃　he　said。　〃Only　I　feel　somehow　。　。　。　I　feel　as　though　our　time　had　come　to　an　end。〃　〃But　it　shan't？〃　He　turned　upon　her　fiercely；　held　her　hands；　looked　in　her　face。　〃Maggie；　do　you　swear　that　you'll　love　me　always；　whatever　I　am；　whatever　I　do？〃　〃I　swear；〃　she　answered；　gazing　into　his　eyes；〃　that　I'll　love　you　always；　whatever　you　are；　whatever　you　do。〃　Then　she　went　away；　leaving　him　by　the　table；　staring　after　her。　In　the　street　she　saw　that　her　chrysanthemum　was　in　pieces；　torn　and　scattered　and　destroyed。　She　slipped　off　the　ring　and　put　it　into　her　pocket；　then；　with　forebodings　in　her　heart；　as　though　she　did　indeed　know　that　her　good　time　was　over；　she　turned　towards　home。　She　was　right。　Her　good　time　was　over。　That　night　she　was　left　alone。　Martha　let　her　in　and；　regarding　her　darkly；　said　nothing。　The　aunts　also　said　nothing；　sitting　all　the　evening　under　the　green　shade　of　the　lamp　in　the　drawing…room；　Aunt　Anne　reading　a　pamphlet；　Aunt　Elizabeth　sewing。　Maggie　pretended　to　read　but　she　saw　no　words。　She　saw　only　the　green　lamp　like　a　dreadful　bird　suspended　there　and　Aunt　Anne's　chiselled　sanctity。　Over　and　over　again　she　reasoned　with　herself。　There　was　no　cause　for　panic。　Nothing　had　happened　to　change　thingsand　yetand　yet　everything　was　changed。　Everything　had　been　changed　from　that　moment　when　Martin　pressed　her　hand　in　the　theatre。　Everything！　。　。　。　Danger　now　of　every　sort。　She　could　be　brave；　she　could　meet　anything　if　she　were　only　sure　of　Martin。　But　he　too　seemed　strange　to　her。　She　remembered　his　dark　look；　his　frown　when　she　had　refused　him。　Oh；　this　loneliness；　this　helplessness。　If　she　could　be　with　him；　beside　him；　she　would　fear　nothing。　That　night；　the　first　faint　suspicion　of　jealousy；　of　doubt；　an　agonising　dart　of　pain　at　the　knowledge　of　what　it　would　mean　to　her　now　if　he　left　her；　stirred　in　her　breast。　This　room　was　stifling。　She　got　up　from　her　chair；　went　to　the　window；　looked　out　between　the　thick　curtains　at　the　dark　deserted　street。　〃What　is　it；　Maggie？〃　〃Nothing；　Aunt　Anne。〃　〃You're　very　restless；　dear。〃　〃It's　close。　May　I　open　the　door？〃　〃A　little；　dear。〃　She　opened　the　door　and　then　sat　there　hearing　the　Armed　Men　sway　ever　so　slightly；　tap；　tap；　against　the　wall　in　the　passage。　That　night　she　scarcely　slept　at　all；　only　tumbling　into　sudden　nightmare　dreams　when　something　had　her　by　the　throat　and　Martin　was　not　there。　In　the　morning　as　soon　as　she　could　escape　she　hurried　to　Piccadilly。　Martin　was　waiting　for　her。　When　she　saw　him　she　realised　at　once　that　her　good　time　was　indeed　over。　His　face　was　white　and　strained。　He　scarcely　looked　at　her　but　stared　anxiously　up　and　down　the　street。

〃What　is　it？〃　she　asked　breathlessly。　〃Look　here；　Maggie；〃　he　began；　still　scarcely　looking　at　her。　〃I　must　get　back　at　once。　I　only　came　to　tell　you　that　we　must　drop　our　meetings　for　the　next　day　or　two　until　it's　blown　over。〃

〃Until　what's　blown　over；〃　she　asked　him。

〃It's　my　father。　I　don't　know　what　exactly　has　happened。　They'll　none　of　them　tell　me；　damn　them。　It's　Caroline　Smith。　She's　been　talking　to　Amy　about　you　and　me。　I　know　that　because　of　what　Amy　said　about　you　at　breakfast　this　morning。〃

〃What　did　she　say？〃

〃She　wouldn't　speak　out。　She　hinted。　But　she　admitted　that　Caroline　Smith　had　told　her　something。　But　she　doesn't　matter。　Nothing　matters　except　father。　He　mustn't　be　excited　just　now。　His　heart's　so　bad。　Any　little　thing　。　。　。　We　must　wait。〃

She　saw　that　he　was　scarcely　realising　her　at　all。　She　choked　down　all　questions　that　concerned　themselves。　She　simply　agreed；　nodding　her　head。

He　did　look　at　her　then；　smiling　as　he　used　to　do。

〃It's　awfully　hard　on　us。　It　won't　be　for　more　than　a　day　or　two。　But　I　must　put　things　right　at　home　or　it　will　be　all　up。　I　don't　care　for　the　others；　of　course；　but　if　anything　happened　to　father　through　me　。　。　。〃　He　told　her　to　write　to　the　Charing　Cross　post…　office。　He　would　do　the　same。　In　a　day　or　two　it　would　be　all　right。　He　pressed　her　hand　and　was　gone。

When　she　looked　about　her　the　street　seemed　quite　empty　although　it　was　full　of　people。　She　threw　up　her　head。　She　wouldn't　be　beaten　by　anybody　。　。　。　only；　it　was　lonely　going　back　to　the　house　and　all　of　them　。　。　。　alone　。　。　。　without　Martin。

She　cried　a　little　on　her　way　home。　But　they　were　the　last　tears　she　shed。




CHAPTER　IX

THE　INSIDE　SAINTS


Maggie；　when　she　was　nearly　home；　halted　suddenly。　She　stopped　as　when　on　the　threshold　of　a　room　that　should　be　empty　one　sees　waiting　a　stranger。　If　at　the　end　of　all　this　she　should　lose　Martin！　。　。　。

There　was　the　stranger　who　had　come　to　her　now　and　would　not　again　depart。　She　recognised　the　sharp　pain；　the　almost　unconscious　pulling　back　on　the　sudden　edge　of　a　dim　pit；　as　something　that　would　always　be　with　her　nowalways。　One　knows　that　in　the　second　stage　of　a　great　intimacy　one's　essential　loneliness　is　only　redoubled　by　close　companionship。　One　asks　for　so　much　more；　and　then　more　and　more；　but　that　final　embrace　is　elusive　and　no　physical　contact　can　surrender　it。　But　she　was　young　and　did　not　know　that　yet。　All　she　knew　was　that　she　would　have　to　face　these　immediate　troubles　alone；　that　she　would　not　see　him　for　perhaps　a　week；　that　she　would　not　know　what　his　people　at　home　were　doing；　and　that　she　must　not　let　any　of　these　thoughts　come　up　into　her　brain。　She　must　keep　them　all　back：　if　she　did　not；　she　would　tumble　into　some　foolish　precipitate　action。

When　she　reached　home　she　was　obstinate　and　determined。　At　once　she　found　that　something　was　the　matter。　During　luncheon　the　two　aunts　sat　like　statues　（Aunt　Elizabeth　a　dumpy　and　squat　one）。　Aunt　Anne's　aloofness　was　coloured　now　with　a　very　human　anger。　Maggie　realised　with　surprise　that　she　had　never　seen　her　angry　before。　She　had　been　indignant；　disapproving；　superior；　forbidding；　but　never　angry。　The　eyes　were　hard　now；　not　with　religious　reserve　but　simply　with　bad　temper。　The　mist　of　anger　dimmed　the　room；　it　was　in　the　potatoes　and　the　cold　dry　mutton；　especially　was　it　in　the　hard　pallid　knobs　of　cheese。　And　Aunt　Elizabeth；　although　she　was　frightened　by　her　sister's　anger　on　this　occasion；　shared　in　it。　She　pursed　her　lips　at　Maggie　and　moved　her　fat；　podgy　hand　as　though　she　would　like　to　smack　Maggie's　cheeks。

Maggie　was　frightenedreally　frightened。　The　line　of　bold　independence　was　all　very　well；　but　now　risks　were　attached　to　it。　If　she　swiftly　tossed　her　head　and　told　her　aunts　that　she　would　walk　out　of　the　house　they　might　say　〃Walk！〃　and　that　would　precipitate　Martin's　crisis。　She　knew　from　the　way　he　had　looked　at　her　that　morning　that　his　thoughts　were　with　his　father；　and　it　showed　that　she　had　travelled　through　the　first　stage　of　her　intimacy　with　him；　that　she　could　not　trust　him　to　put　her　before　his　own　family　troubles。　At　all　costs　she　must　keep　him　safe　through　these　next　difficult　weeks；　and　the　best　way　to　keep　him　safe　was　herself　to　remain　quietly　at　home。

Of　all　this　she　thought　as　she　swallowed　the　hostile　knobs　of　cheese　and　drank　the　tepid；　gritty　coffee。

She　followed　her　aunts　upstairs；　and　was　not　at　all　surprised　when　Aunt　Elizabeth；　with　an　agitated　murmur；　vanished　into　higher　regions。　She　followed　Aunt　Anne　into　the　drawing…room。

Aunt　Anne　sat　in　the　stiff…backed　tapestry　chair　by　the　fire。　Maggie　stood　in　front　of　her。　She　was　disarmed　at　that　all…important　moment　by　her　desperate　sensation　of　defenceless　loneliness。　It　was　as　though　half　of　herselfthe　man…half　of　herselfhad　left　her。　She　tried　to　summon　her　pluck　but　there　was　no　pluck　there。　She　could　only　want　Martin；　over　and　over　again　inside　herself。　Had　any　one　been；　ever　so　hopelessly　ALONE　before？

〃Maggie；　I　am　angry；〃　said　Aunt　Anne。　She　said　it　as　though　she　meant　it。　Amazing　how　human　this　strange　aloof　creature　had　become。　As　though　some　coloured　saint　bright　with　painted　wood　and　tinsel　before　whom　one　stood　in　reverence　slipped　down　suddenly　and　with　fingers　of　flesh　and　blood　struck　one's　face。　Her　cheeks　were　flushed；　her　beautiful　hands　were　no　longer　thin　but　were　hard　and　active。

〃What　have　I　done；　aunt？〃　asked　Maggie。

〃You　have　not　treated　us　fairly。　My　sister　and　I　have　done　everything　for　you。　You　have　not　made　it　especially　easy　for　us　in　any　way；　but　we　have　tried　to　give　you　what　you　wanted。　You　have　repaid　is　with　ingratitude。〃

She　paused；　but　Maggie　said　nothing。　She　went　on：

〃Latelythese　last　three　weekswe　have　given　you　complete　liberty。　I　advised　that　strongly　against　my　sister's　opinion　because　I　thought　you　weren't　happy。　You　didn't　make　friends　amongst　our　friends；　and　I　thought　you　should　have　the　chance　of　finding　some　who　were　younger　and　gayer　than　we　were。　Then　I　thought　we　could　trust　you。　You　have　many　faults；　but　I　believed　that　you　were　honest。〃

〃I　am　honest！〃　Maggie　broke　in。　Her　aunt　went　on：

〃You　have