the captives-第111节
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〃He'll never get well here。〃
〃That's what I think；〃 she said。
〃Can't you carry him off somewhere？ The country's the place for him… …somewhere in the South。〃
Her heart leapt。
〃Oh； Glebeshire！〃 she cried。
〃Well； that's not a bad place；〃 he said。 〃That would pick him up。〃
At once she thought； night and day； of St。 Dreot's。 A very hunger possessed her to get back there。 And why not？ For one thing； it would be so much cheaper。 Her money would not last for ever； and Mrs。 Brandon robbed her whenever possible。 She determined that she would manage it。 At last； greatly fearing it； she mentioned it to him； and to her surprise he did not scorn it。
〃I don't care；〃 he said； looking at her with that curious puzzled expression that she often saw now in his eyes； 〃I'm sick of this room。 That's a bargain； Maggie； you can put me where you like until I'm well。 Then I'm off。〃
She had a strange superstition that Borhedden was fated to see her triumph。 She had wandered round the world and now was returning again to her own home。 She remembered a Mrs。 Bolitho who had had the farm in her day。 She wrote to her； and two days later received a letter saying that there was room for them at Borhedden if they wished。
She was now all feverish impatience。 Dr。 Abrams said that Martin could be moved if they were very careful。 All plans were made。 Mrs。 Brandon and the ugly little doctor both seemed quite sorry that they were going； and Emily even sniffed and wiped her eye with the corner of her apron。 The world seemed now to be turning a different face to Maggie。 Human beings liked her and were no longer suspicious to her as they had been before。
She felt herself how greatly she had changed。 It was as though； until she had found Martin again； everything had been tied up in her； constrained。 She had been some one lost and desolate。 Nevertheless； how difficult these days were！ Through all this time she spoke to him no affectionate word nor touched him with an affectionate gesture。 She was simply a good…humoured companion； laughing at him； assuming； through it all； an off…hand indifference that meant for her so difficult a pretence that she thought he must discover it。 He did not； he was in many ways more simple than she。 She laid to sleep his suspicions。 She could feel his relief that she was not romantic； that she wanted nothing whatever from him。 He was illtherefore was often churlish。 He tried to hurt her again and again with cruel words and then waited to see whether she were hurt。 She never showed him。 He treated her with contempt； often not answering her questions； laughing at her little stupidities； complaining of her forgetfulness and； sometimes； her untidiness telling her again and again to 〃go back to her parson。〃
She gave no sign。 She fought her way。 But it hurt； she could not have believed that anything could hurt so much。 She was being always drawn to him； longing to put her arm around him； to dare to kiss him； risking any repulse。 He seemed so young； so helpless； so unhappy。 Every part of him called to her； his hair； his eyes； his voice； his body。 But she held herself in； she never gave way； she was resolute in her plan。
On their last evening in Lynton Street； for five minutes； he was suddenly kind to her； almost the old Martin speaking with the old voice。 She held her breath； scarcely daring to let herself know how happy she was。
〃What do you think about God； Maggie？〃 he asked； turning on the sofa and looking at her。
〃Think about God？〃 she said； repeating his words。
〃Yes 。 。 。Is there one？〃
〃I don't know。 I haven't any intelligence about those things。〃
〃Is there immortality？〃
〃I don't know。〃
〃I hope not。 Your parson thinks there is； doesn't he？〃
〃Of course he does。〃
〃Did he have lots of services and did you hare to go to them？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Poor Maggiealways having to go to them。 Well； it's queer。 Funny if there isn't anything after all when there's been such a fight about it so long。 Did they make you very religious at Skeaton or wherever the place was？〃
〃No；〃 said Maggie。 〃They thought me a terrible heathen。 Grace was terrified of me； I seemed so wicked to her。 She thought I was bewitching Paul's soul〃
〃Perhaps you were。〃
〃No。 So little did I that he hasn't even come up to London to fetch me。〃
〃Which did you like bestSkeaton or the Chapel？〃
〃I don't know。 I was wrong in both of them。 They were just opposite。〃 Maggie waited a little。 Then she said： 〃Martin there must be something。 I can feel it as though it were behind a wall somewhereI can hear it and I can't see anything。 Aunt Anne and andyour father； and Paul； and Mr。 Magnus were all trying 。 。 。 It feels like a fight； but I don't know who's fighting who。〃
Her allusion to his father had been unfortunate。
〃It's all damned rot if you ask me；〃 he said； turned his face to the wall and wouldn't say another word。
Next morning they started。 Mrs。 Brandon's bill was as large as she could make it and still not very large。 Dr。 Abrams； to Maggie's immense surprise； would not take a penny。
〃I'm not wantin' money just now；〃 he said。 〃I'm robbing a rich old man who lives near here。 I'm a sort of highway man； you know； rob the rich and spend it how I like。 Now don't you press me to make up a bill or I shall change my mind and give you。 one and it will be so large that you won't be able to go down to Glebeshire。 How would you like that？ Oh； don't think I'm doing it from fine motives。 You're both a couple of babies； that's what you are； and it would be a shame to rob you。 How you're ever going to get through the world don't know。 The Babes in the Wood weren't in it。 He thinks he's wicked； doesn't he？〃
〃Yes； he does；〃 said Maggie。
〃Wicked！ Why； he doesn't know what wickedness is。 A couple of children。 Look after his heart or he'll be popping off one fine morning。〃
Maggie turned pale。 〃Oh no；〃 she said； her voice trembling。
〃He's going to get well。〃
Abrams sniffed。 〃If he doesn't drink and leads a healthy life he may。 But leopards don't change their spots。 He's worrying over something。 What is it？〃
〃His father's death；〃 said Maggie。 〃He loved his father more than any one and he's got it into his head that he gave him a shock and killed him。〃
〃Well； you get it out of his head；〃 said Abrams。 〃He won't be better until you do。〃
Next morning they were at Paddington； Martin very feeble but indifferent to everything。 They had a third…class compartment to themselves until they got to Exeter； and all that while Martin never spoke a word。 During this time Maggie did a lot of quiet thinking。 She was worried； of course； about many things but especially finances。 She knew very little about money。 She gathered from Martin that he had not only spent ail that his and had left him； but had gone considerably beyond it； that he was badly in debt and saw no way of paying。 This did not seem to worry him but it worried Maggie。 Debts seemed to her awful things； and she could not imagine how any one lived under the burden of them。 Supposing Martin were ill for a long time； how would they two live？ Her little stock of money would not last very long。 She must get work； but she knew more about the world after her years at Skeaton。 She knew how ignorant she was； how uneducated and how unsophiscated。 She did not doubt her ability to fight her way； but there might be weary months first； and meanwhile what of Martin？
She looked at him； asleep now in a corner of the carriage； his soft hat pulled down over his eyes； his head sunk； his hands heavy and idle on his lap。 A fear caught at her heart as she watched him； he looked； indeed； terribly ill； exhausted with struggle； and now； with all the bitterness and despair drowned in sleep； very gentle and helpless。 She bent over and folded the rug more closely round his knees。 Had he woken then and seen her gaze！ Her hand'' routed for an instant on his； then she withdrew back into her own corner。
That coming back into Glebeshire could not but be wonderful to her。 She had been away for so long and it was her home。
The tranquillity and peace of the spring evening clothed her like a garment； the brown valleys； the soft green of the fields； the mild blue of the sky touched her until she could with difficulty keep back her tears。
〃Oh； make it right！〃 she whispered； 〃make it right！ Give him to me againI do love him so！〃
It was dusk when they arrived at Clinton St。 Mary's。
The little station stood open to all the winds of heaven blowing in from the wide expanses of St。 Mary's Moor。 Maggie remembered； as though it were yesterday； her arrival at that station with Aunt Anne。 Yes； she had grown since then。
A trap was waiting for them。 Martin was still very silent； but he liked the air with the tang of the sea in it； and he asked sometimes about the names of places。 As they drew nearer and nearer to all the oldremembered scenes； Maggie's heart beat faster and fasterthis lane； that field； that cottage。 And then； at last； there was the Vicarage perched on the top of the hill； with its chimneys like cats' ears！
She thought of Uncle Mathew。 The sight of the tranquil evening the happiness and comfort of the fields enabled her to think of him； for the first time； quietly。 She could face deliberate
