the sleeping-car - a farce-第5节
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than ask him。 You don't suppose it COULD be? No; it couldn't。
There may be twenty Willis Campbells in San Francisco; and there
probably are。 Do you think he looks like me! He has a straight
nose; but you can't tell anything about the lower part of his face;
the beard covers it so; and I can't make out the color of his eyes by
this light。 But of course it's all nonsense。 Still if it SHOULD be!
It would be very stupid of us to ride all the way from Framingham to
Boston with that name staring one in the eyes。 I wish he would turn
it away。 If it really turned out to BE Willis; he would think we
were awfully stiff and cold。 But I can't help it; I CAN'T go
attacking every stranger I see; and accusing him of being my brother。
No; no; I can't; and I WON'T; and that's all about it。 'She leans
forward and addresses the stranger with sudden sweetness。' Excuse
me; sir; but I AM very much interested by the name on your bag。 Not
that I think you are even acquainted with him; and there are probably
a great many of them there; but your coming from the same city and
all DOES seem a little queer; and I hope you won't think me intrusive
in speaking to you; because if you SHOULD happen; by the thousandth
of a chance; to be the right one; I should be SO happy!
CAMPBELL。 The right what; madam?
MRS。 ROBERTS。 The right Willis Campbell。
CAMPBELL。 I hope I'm not the wrong one; though after a week's pull
on the railroad it's pretty hard for a man to tell which Willis
Campbell he is。 May I ask if your Willis Campbell had friends in
Boston?
MRS。 ROBERTS (eagerly)。 He had a sister and a brother…in…law and a
nephew。
CAMPBELL。 Name of Roberts?
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Every one。
CAMPBELL。 Then you're …
MRS。 ROBERTS (ecstatically)。 Agnes!
CAMPBELL。 And he's …
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Mr。 Roberts!
CAMPBELL。 And the baby's …
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Asleep!
CAMPBELL。 Then _I_ am the right one。
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Oh; Willis! Willis! Willis! To think of our meeting
in this way! 'She kisses and embraces him; while MR。 ROBERTS shakes
one of his hands which he finds disengaged。' HOW in the world did it
happen?
CAMPBELL。 Ah; I found myself a little ahead of time; and I stopped
off with an old friend of mine at Framingham; I didn't want to
disappoint you when you came to meet this train; or get you up last
night at midnight。
MRS。 ROBERTS。 And I was in Albany; and I've been moving heaven and
earth to get home before you arrived; and Edward came aboard at
Worcester to surprise me; andOh; you've never seen the baby! I'll
run right and get him this instant; just as he is; and bring him。
Edward; you be explaining to WillisOh; my goodness! 'Looking
wildly about。' I don't remember the berth; and I shall be sure to
wake up that poor California gentleman again。 WHAT shall I do?
CAMPBELL。 What California gentleman?
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Oh; somebody we've been stirring up the whole blessed
night。 First I took him for baby; and then Edward took him for me;
and then I took him for baby again; and then we both took him for
you。
CAMPBELL。 Did he look like any of us?
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Like US? He's eight feet tall; if he's an inch; in
his stockingsand he's always in themand he has a long black beard
and mustaches; and he's very lanky; and stoops over a good deal; but
he's just as lovely as he can be and live; and he's been as kind and
patient as twenty Jobs。
CAMPBELL。 Speaks in a sort of soft; slow grind?
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Yes。
CAMPBELL。 Gentle and deferential to ladies?
MRS。 ROBERTS。 As pie。
CAMPBELL。 It's Tom Goodall。 I'll have him out of there in half a
second。 I want you to take him home with you; Agnes。 He's the best
fellow in the world。 WHICH is his berth?
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Don't ask me; Willis。 But if you'd go for baby;
you'll be sure to find him。
MR。 ROBERTS (timidly indicating a berth)。 I think that's the one。
CAMPBELL (plunging at it; and pulling the curtains open)。 You old
Tom Goodall!
THE CALIFORNIAN (appearing)。 I ain't any Tom Goodall。 My name's
Abram Sawyer。
CAMPBELL (falling back)。 Well; sir; you're right。 I'm awfully sorry
to disturb you; but; from my sister's description here; I felt
certain you must be my old friend Tom Goodall。
THE CALIFORNIAN。 I ain't surprised at it。 I'm only surprised I
AIN'T Tom Goodall。 I've been a baby twice; and I've been a man's
wife once; and once I've been a long…lost brother。
CAMPBELL (laughing)。 Oh; they've found HIM。 I'M the long…lost
brother。
THE CALIFORNIAN (sleepily)。 Has she found the other one?
CAMPBELL。 Yes; all right; I believe。
THE CALIFORNIAN。 Has HE found what HE wanted?
CAMPBELL。 Yes; we're all together here。 'THE CALIFORNIAN makes a
movement to get into bed again。' Oh; don't! You'd better make a
night of it now。 It's almost morning anyway。 We want you to go home
with us; and Mrs。 Roberts will give you a bed at her house; and let
you sleep a week。
THE CALIFORNIAN。 Well; I reckon you're right; stranger。 I seem to
be in the hands of Providence to…night anyhow。 'He pulls on his
boots and coat; and takes his seat beside CAMPBELL。' I reckon there
ain't any use in fighting against Providence。
MRS。 ROBERTS (briskly; as if she had often tried it and failed)。 Oh;
not the least in the world。 I'm sure it was all intended; and if you
had turned out to be Willis at last; I should be CERTAIN of it。 What
surprises me is that you shouldn't turn out to be anybody; after all。
THE CALIFORNIAN。 Yes; it is kind of curious。 But I couldn't help
it。 I did my best。
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Oh; don't speak of it。 WE are the ones who ought to
apologize。 But if you only had been somebody; it would have been
such a good joke! We could always have had such a laugh over it;
don't you see?
THE CALIFORNIAN。 Yes; ma'am; it would have been funny。 But I hope
you've enjoyed it as it is。
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Oh; very much; thanks to you。 Only I can't seem to
get reconciled to your not being anybody; after all。 You MUST at
least be some one we've heard about; don't you think? It's so
strange that you and Willis never even met。 Don't you think you have
some acquaintances in common?
CAMPBELL。 Look here; Agnes; do you always shout at the top of your
voice in this way when you converse in a sleeping…car?
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Was I talking loud again? Well; you can't help it if
you want to make people hear you。
CAMPBELL。 But there must be a lot of them who don't want to hear
you。 I wonder that the passengers who are not blood…relations don't
throw things at youboots and hand…bags and language。
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Why; that's what they've BEEN doinglanguage; at
leastand I'm only surprised they're not doing it now。
THE CALIFORNIAN (rising)。 They'd better not; ma'am。
'He patrols the car from end to end; and quells some rising murmurs;
halting at the rebellious berths as he passes。'
MRS。 ROBERTS (enraptured by his companionship)。 Oh; he MUST be some
connection。 'She glances through the window。' I do believe that was
Newton; or Newtonville; or West Newton; or Newton Centre。 I must run
and wake up baby; and get him dressed。 I shan't want to wait an
instant after we get in。 Why; we're slowing up! Why; I do believe
we're there! Edward; we're there! Only fancy being there already!
MR。 ROBERTS。 Yes; my dear。 Only we're not quite there yet。 Hadn't
we better call your aunt Mary?
MRS。 ROBERTS。 I'd forgotten her。
CAMPBELL。 Is Aunt Mary with you?
MRS。 ROBERTS。 To be sure she is。 Didn't I tell you? She came on
expressly to meet you。
CAMPBELL (starting up impetuously)。 Which berth is she in?
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Right over baby。
CAMPBELL。 And which berth is baby in?
MRS。 ROBERTS (distractedly)。 Why; that's just what I can't TELL。 It
was bad enough when they were all filled up; but now since the people
have begun to come out of them; and some of them are made into seats
I can't tell。
THE CALIFORNIAN。 I'll look for you; ma'am。 I should like to wake up
all the wrong passengers on this car。 I'd take a pleasure in it。 If
you could make sure of any berth that AIN'T the one; I'll begin on
that。
MRS。 ROBERTS。 I can't even be sure of the wrong one。 No; no; you
mustn't'THE CALIFORNIAN moves away; and pauses in front of one of
the berths; looking back inquiringly at MRS。 ROBERTS。' Oh; don't ask
ME! _I_ can't tell。 'To CAMPBELL。' ISN'T he amusing? So like all
those Californians that one reads ofso chivalrous and SO humorous!
AUNT MARY (thrusting her head from the curtains of the berth before
which THE CALIFORNIAN is standing)。 Go along with you! What do you
want?
THE CALIFORNIAN。 Aunt Mary。
AUNT MARY。 Go away。 Aunt Mary; indeed!
MRS。 ROBERTS (runni