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                           CHAPTER VII



                    The Lion and the Unicorn





  The next moment soldiers came running through the wood; at first

in twos and threes; then ten or twenty together; and at last in

such crowds that they seemed to fill the whole forest。  Alice got

behind a tree; for fear of being run over; and watched them go by。



  She thought that in all her life she had never seen soldiers so

uncertain on their feet:  they were always tripping over

something or other; and whenever one went down; several more

always fell over him; so that the ground was soon covered with

little heaps of men。



  Then came the horses。  Having four feet; these managed rather

better than the foot…soldiers:  but even THEY stumbled now and

then; and it seemed to be a regular rule that; whenever a horse

stumbled the rider fell off instantly。  The confusion got worse

every moment; and Alice was very glad to get out of the wood into

an open place; where she found the White King seated on the

ground; busily writing in his memorandum…book。



  ‘I've sent them all!' the King cried in a tone of delight; on

seeing Alice。  ‘Did you happen to meet any soldiers; my dear; as

you came through the wood?'



  ‘Yes; I did;' said Alice:  ‘several thousand; I should think。'



  ‘Four thousand two hundred and seven; that's the exact number;'

the King said; referring to his book。  ‘I couldn't send all the

horses; you know; because two of them are wanted in the game。

And I haven't sent the two Messengers; either。  They're both gone

to the town。  Just look along the road; and tell me if you can

see either of them。'



  ‘I see nobody on the road;' said Alice。



  ‘I only wish _I_ had such eyes;' the King remarked in a fretful

tone。  ‘To be able to see Nobody!  And at that distance; too!

Why; it's as much as _I_ can do to see real people; by this

light!'



  All this was lost on Alice; who was still looking intently

along the road; shading her eyes with one hand。  ‘I see somebody

now!' she exclaimed at last。  ‘But he's coming very slowlyand

what curious attitudes he goes into!'  (For the messenger kept

skipping up and down; and wriggling like an eel; as he came

along; with his great hands spread out like fans on each side。)



  ‘Not at all;' said the King。  ‘He's an Anglo…Saxon Messenger

and those are Anglo…Saxon attitudes。  He only does them when

he's happy。  His name is Haigha。'  (He pronounced it so as to

rhyme with ‘mayor。')



  ‘I love my love with an H;' Alice couldn't help beginning;

‘because he is Happy。  I hate him with an H; because he is Hideous。

I fed him withwithwith Ham…sandwiches and Hay。

His name is Haigha; and he lives'



  ‘He lives on the Hill;' the King remarked simply; without the

least idea that he was joining in the game; while Alice was still

hesitating for the name of a town beginning with H。  ‘The other

Messenger's called Hatta。  I must have TWO; you knowto come

and go。  Once to come; and one to go。'



  ‘I beg your pardon?' said Alice。



  ‘It isn't respectable to beg;' said the King。



  ‘I only meant that I didn't understand;' said Alice。  ‘Why one

to come and one to go?'



  ‘Didn't I tell you?' the King repeated impatiently。  ‘I must

have Twoto fetch and carry。  One to fetch; and one to carry。'



  At this moment the Messenger arrived:  he was far too much out

of breath to say a word; and could only wave his hands about; and

make the most fearful faces at the poor King。



  ‘This young lady loves you with an H;' the King said;

introducing Alice in the hope of turning off the Messenger's

attention from himselfbut it was no usethe Anglo…Saxon

attitudes only got more extraordinary every moment; while the

great eyes rolled wildly from side to side。



  ‘You alarm me!' said the King。  ‘I feel faintGive me a ham

sandwich!'



  On which the Messenger; to Alice's great amusement; opened a

bag that hung round his neck; and handed a sandwich to the King;

who devoured it greedily。



  ‘Another sandwich!' said the King。



  ‘There's nothing but hay left now;' the Messenger said; peeping

into the bag。



  ‘Hay; then;' the King murmured in a faint whisper。



  Alice was glad to see that it revived him a good deal。

‘There's nothing like eating hay when you're faint;' he remarked

to her; as he munched away。



  ‘I should think throwing cold water over you would be better;'

Alice suggested:  ‘or some sal…volatile。'



  ‘I didn't say there was nothing BETTER;' the King replied。  ‘I said

there was nothing LIKE it。'  Which Alice did not venture to deny。



  ‘Who did you pass on the road?' the King went on; holding out

his hand to the Messenger for some more hay。



  ‘Nobody;' said the Messenger。



  ‘Quite right;' said the King:  ‘this young lady saw him too。

So of course Nobody walks slower than you。'



  ‘I do my best;' the Messenger said in a sulky tone。  ‘I'm sure

nobody walks much faster than I do!'



  ‘He can't do that;' said the King; ‘or else he'd have been here

first。  However; now you've got your breath; you may tell us

what's happened in the town。'



  ‘I'll whisper it;' said the Messenger; putting his hands to his

mouth in the shape of a trumpet; and stooping so as to get close

to the King's ear。  Alice was sorry for this; as she wanted to

hear the news too。  However; instead of whispering; he simply

shouted at the top of his voice ‘They're at it again!'



  ‘Do you call THAT a whisper?' cried the poor King; jumping up

and shaking himself。  ‘If you do such a thing again; I'll have

you buttered!  It went through and through my head like an

earthquake!'



  ‘It would have to be a very tiny earthquake!' thought Alice。

‘Who are at it again?' she ventured to ask。



  ‘Why the Lion and the Unicorn; of course;' said the King。



  ‘Fighting for the crown?'



  ‘Yes; to be sure;' said the King:  ‘and the best of the joke

is; that it's MY crown all the while!  Let's run and see them。'

And they trotted off; Alice repeating to herself; as she ran; the

words of the old song:





    ‘The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown:

    The Lion beat the Unicorn all round the town。

    Some gave them white bread; some gave them brown;

    Some gave them plum…cake and drummed them out of town。'





  ‘Doesthe onethat winsget the crown?' she asked; as

well as she could; for the run was putting her quite out of

breath。



  ‘Dear me; no!' said the King。  ‘What an idea!'



  ‘Would yoube good enough;' Alice panted out; after running

a little further; ‘to stop a minutejust to getone's

breath again?'



  ‘I'm GOOD enough;' the King said; ‘only I'm not strong enough。

You see; a minute goes by so fearfully quick。  You might as well

try to stop a Bandersnatch!'



  Alice had no more breath for talking; so they trotted on in

silence; till they came in sight of a great crowd; in the middle

of which the Lion and Unicorn were fighting。  They were in such a

cloud of dust; that at first Alice could not make out which was

which:  but she soon managed to distinguish the Unicorn by his

horn。



  They placed themselves close to where Hatta; the other

messenger; was standing watching the fight; with a cup of tea in

one hand and a piece of bread…and…butter in the other。



  ‘He's only just out of prison; and he hadn't finished his tea

when he was sent in;' Haigha whispered to Alice:  ‘and they only

give them oyster…shells in thereso you see he's very hungry

and thirsty。  How are you; dear child?' he went on; putting his

arm affectionately round Hatta's neck。



  Hatta looked round and nodded; and went on with his bread and

butter。



  ‘Were you happy in prison; dear child?' said Haigha。



  Hatta looked round once more; and this time a tear or two

trickled down his cheek:  but not a word would he say。



  ‘Speak; can't you!' Haigha cried impatiently。  But Hatta only

munched away; and drank some more tea。



  ‘Speak; won't you!' cried the King。  'How are they getting on

with the fight?'



  Hatta made a desperate effort; and swallowed a large piece of

bread…and…butter。  ‘They're getting on very well;' he said in a

choking voice:  ‘each of them has been down about eighty…seven

times。'



  ‘Then I suppose they'll soon bring the white bread and the

brown?' Alice ventured to remark。



  ‘It's waiting for 'em now;' said Hatta:  ‘this is a bit of it

as I'm eating。'



  There was a pause in the fight just then; and the Lion and the

Unicorn sat down; panting; while the King called out ‘Ten minutes

allowed for refreshments!'  Haigha and Hatta set to work at once;

carrying rough trays of white and brown bread。  Alice took a

piece to taste; but it was VERY dry。



  ‘I don't think they'll fight any more to…day;' the King said to

Hatta:  ‘go and order the drums to begin。'  And Hatta went

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