letters to his son, 1750-第3节

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　Observe　also　the　different　modes　of　good…breeding　of　several　nations；　and　conform　yourself　to　them　respectively。　　Use　an　easy　civility　with　the　French；　more　ceremony　with　the　Italians；　and　still　more　with　the　Germans；　but　let　it　be　without　embarrassment　and　with　ease。　Bring　it　by　use　to　be　habitual　to　you；　for；　if　it　seems　unwilling　and　forced；　it　will　never　please。　　'Omnis　Aristippum　decuit　color；　et　res'。　Acquire　an　easiness　and　versatility　of　manners；　as　well　as　of　mind；　and；　like　the　chameleon；　take　the　hue　of　the　company　you　are　with。

There　is　a　sort　of　veteran　women　of　condition；　who　having　lived　always　in　the　'grande　monde'；　and　having　possibly　had　some　gallantries；　together　with　the　experience　of　five…and…twenty；　or　thirty　years；　form　a　young　fellow　better　than　all　the　rules　that　can　be　given　him。　　These　women；　being　past　their　bloom；　are　extremely　flattered　by　the　least　attention　from　a　young　fellow；　and　they　will　point　out　to　him　those　manners　and　ATTENTIONS　that　pleased　and　engaged　them；　when　they　were　in　the　pride　of　their　youth　and　beauty。　　Wherever　you　go；　make　some　of　those　women　your　friends；　which　a　very　little　matter　will　do。　　Ask　their　advice；　tell　them　your　doubts　or　difficulties　as　to　your　behavior；　but　take　great　care　not　to　drop　one　word　of　their　experience；　for　experience　implies　age；　and　the　suspicion　of　age；　no　woman；　let　her　be　ever　so　old；　ever　forgives。　　I　long　for　your　picture；　which　Mr。　Harte　tells　me　is　now　drawing。　　I　want　to　see　your　countenance；　your　air；　and　even　your　dress；　the　better　they　all　three　are；　the　better　I　am　not　wise　enough　to　despise　any　one　of　them。　　Your　dress；　at　least；　is　in　your　own　power；　and　I　hope　that　you　mind　it　to　a　proper　degree。　　Yours；　Adieu。




LETTER　CII

LONDON；　January　18；　O。　S。　　1750

MY　DEAR　FRIEND：　I　consider　the　solid　part　of　your　little　edifice　as　so　near　being　finished　and　completed；　that　my　only　remaining　care　is　about　the　embellishments；　and　that　must　now　be　your　principal　care　too。　Adorn　yourself　with　all　those　graces　and　accomplishments；　which；　without　solidity；　are　frivolous；　but　without　which　solidity　is；　to　a　great　degree；　useless。　　Take　one　man；　with　a　very　moderate　degree　of　knowledge；　but　with　a　pleasing　figure；　a　prepossessing　address；　graceful　in　all　that　he　says　and　does；　polite；　'liant'；　and；　in　short；　adorned　with　all　the　lesser　talents：　and　take　another　man；　with　sound　sense　and　profound　knowledge；　but　without　the　above…mentioned　advantages；　the　former　will　not　only　get　the　better　of　the　latter；　in　every　pursuit　of　every　KIND；　but　in　truth　there　will　be　no　sort　of　competition　between　them。　　But　can　every　man　acquire　these　advantages？　　I　say；　Yes；　if　he　please；　suppose　he　is　in　a　situation　and　in　circumstances　to　frequent　good　company。　Attention；　observation；　and　imitation；　will　most　infallibly　do　it。

When　you　see　a　man　whose　first　'abord'　strikes　you；　prepossesses　you　in　his　favor；　and　makes　you　entertain　a　good　opinion　of　him；　you　do　not　know　why；　analyze　that　'abord'；　and　examine；　within　yourself；　the　several　parts　that　composed　it；　and　you　will　generally　find　it　to　be　the　result；　the　happy　assemblage　of　modesty　unembarrassed；　respect　without　timidity；　a　genteel；　but　unaffected　attitude　of　body　and　limbs；　an　open；　cheerful；　but　unsmirking　countenance；　and　a　dress；　by　no　means　negligent；　and　yet　not　foppish。　　Copy　him；　then；　not　servilely；　but　as　some　of　the　greatest　masters　of　painting　have　copied　others；　insomuch　that　their　copies　have　been　equal　to　the　originals；　both　as　to　beauty　and　freedom。　　When　you　see　a　man　who　is　universally　allowed　to　shine　as　an　agreeable；　well…bred　man；　and　a　fine　gentleman　（as；　for　example；　the　Duke　de　Nivernois）；　attend　to　him；　watch　him　carefully；　observe　in　what　manner　he　addresses　himself　to　his　superiors；　how　he　lives　with　his　equals；　and　how　he　treats　his　inferiors。　　Mind　his　turn　of　conversation　in　the　several　situations　of　morning　visits；　the　table；　and　the　evening　amusements。　　Imitate；　without　mimicking　him；　and　be　his　duplicate；　but　not　his　ape。　You　will　find　that　he　takes　care　never　to　say　or　do　any　thing　that　can　be　construed　into　a　slight；　or　a　negligence；　or　that　can；　in　any　degree；　mortify　people's　vanity　and　self…love；　on　the　contrary；　you　will　perceive　that　he　makes　people　pleased　with　him；　by　making　them　first　pleased　with　themselves：　he　shows　respect；　regard；　esteem　and　attention；　where　they　are　severally　proper：　he　sows　them　with　care；　and　he　reaps　them　in　plenty。

These　amiable　accomplishments　are　all　to　be　acquired　by　use　and　imitation；　for　we　are；　in　truth；　more　than　half　what　we　are　by　imitation。　The　great　point　is；　to　choose　good　models　and　to　study　them　with　care。　People　insensibly　contract；　not　only　the　air；　the　manners；　and　the　vices；　of　those　with　whom　they　commonly　converse；　but　their　virtues　too；　and　even　their　way　of　thinking。　　This　is　so　true；　that　I　have　known　very　plain　understandings　catch　a　certain　degree　of　wit；　by　constantly　conversing　with　those　who　had　a　great　deal。　　Persist；　therefore；　in　keeping　the　best　company；　and　you　will　insensibly　become　like　them；　but　if　you　add　attention　and　observation；　you　will　very　soon　become　one　of　them。　　The　inevitable　contagion　of　company　shows　you　the　necessity　of　keeping　the　best；　and　avoiding　all　other；　for　in　everyone；　something　will　stick。　　You　have　hitherto；　I　confess；　had　very　few　opportunities　of　keeping　polite　company。　　Westminster　school　is；　undoubtedly；　the　seat　of　illiberal　manners　and　brutal　behavior。　　Leipsig；　I　suppose；　is　not　the　seat　of　refined　and　elegant　manners。　　Venice；　I　believe；　has　done　something；　Rome；　I　hope；　will　do　a　great　deal　more；　and　Paris　will；　I　dare　say；　do　all　that　you　want；　always　supposing　that　you　frequent　the　best　companies；　and　in　the　intention　of　improving　and　forming　yourself；　for　without　that　intention　nothing　will　do。

I　here　subjoin　a　list　of　all　those　necessary；　ornamental　accomplishments　（without　which；　no　man　living　can　either　please；　or　rise　in　the　world）　which　hitherto　I　fear　you　want；　and　which　only　require　your　care　and　attention　to　possess。

To　speak　elegantly；　whatever　language　you　speak　in；　without　which　nobody　will　hear　you　with　pleasure；　and　consequently　you　will　speak　to　very　little　purpose。

An　agreeable　and　distinct　elocution；　without　which　nobody　will　hear　you　with　patience：　this　everybody　may　acquire；　who　is　not　born　with　some　imperfection　in　the　organs　of　speech。　　You　are　not；　and　therefore　it　is　wholly　in　your　power。　　You　need　take　much　less　pains　for　it　than　Demosthenes　did。

A　distinguished　politeness　of　manners　and　address；　which　common　sense；　observation；　good　company；　and　imitation；　will　infallibly　give　you　if　you　will　accept　it。

A　genteel　carriage　and　graceful　motions；　with　the　air　of　a　man　of　fashion：　a　good　dancing…master；　with　some　care　on　your　part；　and　some　imitation　of　those　who　excel；　will　soon　bring　this　about。

To　be　extremely　clean　in　your　person；　and　perfectly　well　dressed；；　according　to　the　fashion；　be　that　what　it　will：　Your　negligence　of　your　dress　while　you　were　a　schoolboy　was　pardonable；　but　would　not　be　so　now。

Upon　the　whole；　take　it　for　granted；　that　without　these　accomplishments；　all　you　know；　and　all　you　can　do；　will　avail　you　very　little。　　Adieu。




LETTER　CIII

LONDON；　January　25；　O。　S。　　1750

MY　DEAR　FRIEND：　It　is　so　long　since　I　have　heard　from　you；　that　I　suppose　Rome　engrosses　every　moment　of　your　time；　and　if　it　engrosses　it　in　the　manner　I　could　wish；　I　willingly　give　up　my　share　of　it。　　I　would　rather　'prodesse　quam　conspici'。　　Put　out　your　time；　but　to　good　interest；　and　I　do　not　desire　to　borrow　much　of　it。　　Your　studies；　the　respectable　remains　of　antiquity；　and　your　evening　amusements　cannot；　and　indeed　ought　not；　to　leave　you　much　time　to　write。　　You　will；　probably；　never　see　Rome　again；　and　therefore　you　ought　to　see　it　well　now；　by　seeing　it　well；　I　do　not　mean　only　the　buildings；　statues；　and　paintings；　though　they　undoubtedly　deserve　your　attention：　but　I　mean　seeing　into　the　constitution　and　government　of　it。　　But　these　things　certainly　occur　to　your　own　common　sense。

How　go；　your　pleasures　at　Rome？　　Are　you　in　fashion　there？　that　is；　do　you　live　with　the　people　who　are？　the　only　way　of　being　so　yourself；　in　time。　　Are　you　domestic　enough　in　any　considerable　house　to　be　called　'le　petit　Stanhope'？　　Has　any　woman　of　fashion　and　good…breeding　taken　the　trouble　of　abusing　and　laughing　at　you　amicably　to　your　face？　　Have　you　found　a　good　'decrotteuse'。　　　For　those　are　the　steps　by　which　you　must　rise　to　politeness。　　I　do　not　presume　to　ask　if　you　have　any　attachment；　because　I　believe　you　will　not　make　me　your　confident；　but　this　I　will　say；　eventually；　that　if　you　have　one；　'il　faut　bien　payer　d'attentions　et　de　petits　soin'；　if　you　would　have　your　sacrifice　propitiously　received。　　Women　are　not　so　much　taken　by　beauty　as　men　are；　but　prefer　those　men　who　show　them　the　most　attention。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Would　you　engage　the　lovely　fair？　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　With　gentlest　manners　treat　her；　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　With　tender　looks　and　graceful　air；　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　In　softest　accents　greet　her。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Verse　were　but　vain；　the　Muses　fail；　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Without　the　Graces'　aid；　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　The　Go