letters to his son, 1750-第10节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
gh possibly in themselves not more moral) are more delicate; more refined; less dangerous; and less disgraceful; and; in the common course of things; not reckoned disgraceful at all。 In short; pleasure must not; nay; cannot; be the business of a man of sense and character; but it may be; and is; his relief; his reward。 It is particularly so with regard to the women; who have the utmost contempt for those men; that; having no character nor consideration with their own sex; frivolously pass their whole time in 'ruelles' and at 'toilettes'。 They look upon them as their lumber; and remove them whenever they can get better furniture。 Women choose their favorites more by the ear than by any other of their senses or even their understandings。 The man whom they hear the most commended by the men; will always be the best received by them。 Such a conquest flatters their vanity; and vanity is their universal; if not their strongest passion。 A distinguished shining character is irresistible with them; they crowd to; nay; they even quarrel for the danger in hopes of the triumph。 Though; by the way (to use a vulgar expression); she who conquers only catches a Tartar; and becomes the slave of her captive。 'Mais c'est la leur affaire'。 Divide your time between useful occupations and elegant pleasures。 The morning seems to belong to study; business; or serious conversations with men of learning and figure; not that I exclude an occasional hour at a toilette。 From sitting down to dinner; the proper business of the day is pleasure; unless real business; which must never be postponed for pleasure; happens accidentally to interfere。 In good company; the pleasures of the table are always carried to a certain point of delicacy and gratification; but never to excess and riot。 Plays; operas; balls; suppers; gay conversations in polite and cheerful companies; properly conclude the evenings; not to mention the tender looks that you may direct and the sighs that you may offer; upon these several occasions; to some propitious or unpropitious female deity; whose character and manners will neither disgrace nor corrupt yours。 This is the life of a man of real sense and pleasure; and by this distribution of your time; and choice of your pleasures; you will be equally qualified for the busy; or the 'beau monde'。 You see I am not rigid; and do not require that you and I should be of the same age。 What I say to you; therefore; should have the more weight; as coming from a friend; not a father。 But low company; and their low vices; their indecent riots and profligacy; I never will bear nor forgive。
I have lately received two volumes of treaties; in German and Latin; from Hawkins; with your orders; under your own hand; to take care of them for you; which orders I shall most dutifully and punctually obey; and they wait for you in my library; together with your great collection of rare books; which your Mamma sent me upon removing from her old house。
I hope you not only keep up; but improve in your German; for it will be of great use to you when you cone into business; and the more so; as you will be almost the only Englishman who either can speak or understand it。 Pray speak it constantly to all Germans; wherever you meet them; and you will meet multitudes of them at Paris。 Is Italian now become easy and familiar to you? Can you speak it with the same fluency that you can speak German? You cannot conceive what an advantage it will give you in negotiations to possess Italian; German; and French perfectly; so as to understand all the force and finesse of those three languages。 If two men of equal talents negotiate together; he who best understands the language in which the negotiation is carried on; will infallibly get the better of the other。 The signification and force of one single word is often of great consequence in a treaty; and even in a letter。
Remember the GRACES; for without them 'ogni fatica e vana'。 Adieu。
LETTER CXIII
LONDON; May 17; O。 S。 1750
MY DEAR FRIEND: Your apprenticeship is near out; and you are soon to set up for yourself; that approaching moment is a critical one for you; and an anxious one for me。 A tradesman who would succeed in his way; must begin by establishing a character of integrity and good manners; without the former; nobody will go to his shop at all; without the latter; nobody will go there twice。 This rule does not exclude the fair arts of trade。 He may sell his goods at the best price he can; within certain bounds。 He may avail himself of the humor; the whims; and the fantastical tastes of his customers; but what he warrants to be good must be really so; what he seriously asserts must be true; or his first fraudulent profits will soon end in a bankruptcy。 It is the same in higher life; and in the great business of the world。 A man who does not solidly establish; and really deserve; a character of truth; probity; good manners; and good morals; at his first setting out in the world; may impose; and shine like a meteor for a very short time; but will very soon vanish; and be extinguished with contempt。 People easily pardon; in young men; the common irregularities of the senses: but they do not forgive the least vice of the heart。 The heart never grows better by age; I fear rather worse; always harder。 A young liar will be an old one; and a young knave will only be a greater knave as he grows older。 But should a bad young heart; accompanied with a good head (which; by the way; very seldom is the case); really reform in a more advanced age; from a consciousness of its folly; as well as of its guilt; such a conversion would only be thought prudential and political; but never sincere。 I hope in God; and I verily。 believe; that you want no moral virtue。 But the possession of all the moral virtues; in 'actu primo'; as the logicians call it; is not sufficient; you must have them in 'actu secundo' too; nay; that is not sufficient neitheryou must have the reputation of them also。 Your character in the world must be built upon that solid foundation; or it will soon fall; and upon your own head。 You cannot; therefore; be too careful; too nice; too scrupulous; in establishing this character at first; upon which your whole depends。 Let no conversation; no example; no fashion; no 'bon mot'; no silly desire of seeming to be above; what most knaves; and many fools; call prejudices; ever tempt you to avow; excuse; extenuate; or laugh at the least breach of morality; but show upon all occasions; and take all occasions to show; a detestation and abhorrence of it。 There; though young; you ought to be strict; and there only; while young; it becomes you to be strict and severe。 But there; too; spare the persons while you lash the crimes。 All this relates; as you easily judge; to the vices of the heart; such as lying; fraud; envy; malice; detraction; etc。; and I do not extend it to the little frailties of youth; flowing from high spirits and warm blood。 It would ill become you; at your age; to declaim against them; and sententiously censure a gallantry; an accidental excess of the table; a frolic; an inadvertency; no; keep as free from them yourself as you can: but say nothing against them in others。 They certainly mend by time; often by reason; and a man's worldly character is not affected by them; provided it be pure in all other respects。
To come now to a point of much less; but yet of very great consequence at your first setting out。 Be extremely upon your guard against vanity; the common failing of inexperienced youth; but particularly against that kind of vanity that dubs a man a coxcomb; a character which; once acquired; is more indelible than that of the priesthood。 It is not to be imagined by how many different ways vanity defeats its own purposes。 One man decides peremptorily upon every subject; betrays his ignorance upon many; and shows a disgusting presumption upon the rest。 Another desires to appear successful among the women; he hints at the encouragement he has received; from those of the most distinguished rank and beauty; and intimates a particular connection with some one; if it is true; it is ungenerous; if false; it is infamous: but in either case he destroys the reputation he wants to get。 Some flatter their vanity by little extraneous objects; which have not the least relation to themselves; such as being descended from; related to; or acquainted with; people of distinguished merit and eminent characters。 They talk perpetually of their grandfather such…a…one; their uncle such…a…one; and their intimate friend Mr。 Such…a…one; with whom; possibly; they are hardly acquainted。 But admitting it all to be as they would have it; what then? Have they the more merit for those accidents? Certainly not。 On the contrary; their taking up adventitious; proves their want of intrinsic merit; a rich man never borrows。 Take this rule for granted; as a never…failing one: That you must never seem to affect the character in which you have a mind to shine。 Modesty is the only sure bait when you angle for praise。 The affectation of courage will make even a brave man pass only for a bully; as the affectation of wit will make a man of parts pass for a coxcomb。 By this modesty I do not mean