the angel and the author-第6节

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fault。　　In　any　case；　the　letter　cannot　go　as　it　is。　　The　continental　
official　brings　up　the　public　on　the　principle　of　the　nurse　who　sent　
the　eldest　girl　to　see　what　Tommy　was　doing　and　tell　him　he　mustn't。　　
Your　friend；　having　wasted　half　an　hour　and　mislaid　his　temper　for　
the　day；　decides　to　leave　this　thing　over　and　talk　to　the　hotel　
porter　about　it。　　Next　to　the　Burgomeister；　the　hotel　porter　is　the　
most　influential　man　in　the　continental　town：　　maybe　because　he　can　
swear　in　seven　different　languages。　　But　even　he　is　not　omnipotent。

＇The　Traveller's　one　Friend。＇

Three　of　us；　on　the　point　of　starting　for　a　walking　tour　through　the　
Tyrol；　once　sent　on　our　luggage　by　post　from　Constance　to　Innsbruck。　　
Our　idea　was　that；　reaching　Innsbruck　in　the　height　of　the　season；　
after　a　week's　tramp　on　two　flannel　shirts　and　a　change　of　socks；　we　
should　be　glad　to　get　into　fresh　clothes　before　showing　ourselves　in　
civilized　society。　　Our　bags　were　waiting　for　us　in　the　post…office：　　
we　could　see　them　through　the　grating。　　But　some　informalityI　have　
never　been　able　to　understand　what　it　washad　occurred　at　Constance。　　
The　suspicion　of　the　Swiss　postal　authorities　had　been　aroused；　and　
special　instructions　had　been　sent　that　the　bags　were　to　be　delivered　
up　only　to　their　rightful　owners。

It　sounds　sensible　enough。　　Nobody　wants　his　bag　delivered　up　to　
anyone　else。　　But　it　had　not　been　explained　to　the　authorities　at　
Innsbruck　how　they　were　to　know　the　proper　owners。　　Three　wretched…
looking　creatures　crawled　into　the　post…office　and　said　they　wanted　
those　three　bags〃those　bags；　there　in　the　corner〃which　happened　
to　be　nice；　clean；　respectable…looking　bags；　the　sort　of　bags　that　
anyone　might　want。　　One　of　them　produced　a　bit　of　paper；　it　is　true；　
which　he　said　had　been　given　to　him　as　a　receipt　by　the　post…office　
people　at　Constance。　　But　in　the　lonely　passes　of　the　Tyrol　one　man；　
set　upon　by　three；　might　easily　be　robbed　of　his　papers；　and　his　body　
thrown　over　a　precipice。　　The　chief　clerk　shook　his　head。　　He　would　
like　us　to　return　accompanied　by　someone　who　could　identify　us。　　The　
hotel　porter　occurred　to　us；　as　a　matter　of　course。　　Keeping　to　the　
back　streets；　we　returned　to　the　hotel　and　fished　him　out　of　his　box。

〃I　am　Mr。　J。；〃　I　said：　　〃this　is　my　friend　Mr。　B。　and　this　is　Mr。　S。〃

The　porter　bowed　and　said　he　was　delighted。

〃I　want　you　to　come　with　us　to　the　post…office；〃　I　explained；　〃and　
identify　us。〃

The　hotel　porter　is　always　a　practical　man：　　his　calling　robs　him　of　
all　sympathy　with　the　hide…bound　formality　of　his　compatriots。　　He　
put　on　his　cap　and　accompanied　us　back　to　the　office。　　He　did　his　
best：　　no　one　could　say　he　did　not。　　He　told　them　who　we　were：　　they　
asked　him　how　he　knew。　　For　reply　he　asked　them　how　they　thought　he　
knew　his　mother：　　he　just　knew　us：　　it　was　second　nature　with　him。　　
He　implied　that　the　question　was　a　silly　one；　and　suggested　that；　as　
his　time　was　valuable；　they　should　hand　us　over　the　three　bags　and　
have　done　with　their　nonsense。

They　asked　him　how　long　he　had　known　us。　　He　threw　up　his　hands　with　
an　eloquent　gesture：　　memory　refused　to　travel　back　such　distance。　　
It　appeared　there　was　never　a　time　when　he　had　not　known　us。　　We　had　
been　boys　together。

Did　he　know　anybody　else　who　knew　us？　　The　question　appeared　to　him　
almost　insulting。　　Everybody　in　Innsbruck　knew　us；　honoured　us；　
respected　useverybody；　that　is；　except　a　few　post…office　officials；　
people　quite　out　of　society。

Would　he　kindly　bring　along；　say；　one　undoubtedly　respectable　citizen　
who　could　vouch　for　our　identity？　　The　request　caused　him　to　forget　
us　and　our　troubles。　　The　argument　became　a　personal　quarrel　between　
the　porter　and　the　clerk。　　If　he；　the　porter；　was　not　a　respectable　
citizen　of　Innsbruck；　where　was　such　an　one　to　be　found？

＇The　disadvantage　of　being　an　unknown　Person。＇

Both　gentlemen　became　excited；　and　the　discussion　passed　beyond　my　
understanding。　　But　I　gathered　dimly　from　what　the　clerk　said；　that　
ill…natured　remarks　relative　to　the　porter's　grandfather　and　a　
missing　cow　had　never　yet　been　satisfactorily　replied　to：　　and；　from　
observations　made　by　the　porter；　that　stories　were　in　circulation　
about　the　clerk's　aunt　and　a　sergeant　of　artillery　that　should　
suggest　to　a　discreet　nephew　of　the　lady　the　inadvisability　of　
talking　about　other　people's　grandfathers。

Our　sympathies　were　naturally　with　the　porter：　　he　was　our　man；　but　
he　did　not　seem　to　be　advancing　our　cause　much。　　We　left　them　
quarrelling；　and　persuaded　the　head　waiter　that　evening　to　turn　out　
the　gas　at　our　end　of　the　table　d'hote。

The　next　morning　we　returned　to　the　post…office　by　ourselves。　　The　
clerk　proved　a　reasonable　man　when　treated　in　a　friendly　spirit。　　He　
was　a　bit　of　a　climber　himself。　　He　admitted　the　possibility　of　our　
being　the　rightful　owners。　　His　instructions　were　only　not　to　DELIVER　
UP　the　bags；　and　he　himself　suggested　a　way　out　of　the　difficulty。　　
We　might　come　each　day　and　dress　in　the　post…office；　behind　the　
screen。　　It　was　an　awkward　arrangement；　even　although　the　clerk　
allowed　us　the　use　of　the　back　door。　　And　occasionally；　in　spite　of　
the　utmost　care；　bits　of　us　would　show　outside　the　screen。　　But　for　a　
couple　of　days；　until　the　British　Consul　returned　from　Salzburg；　the　
post…office　had　to　be　our　dressing　room。　　The　continental　official；　I　
am　inclined　to　think；　errs　on　the　side　of　prudence。



CHAPTER　V



＇If　only　we　had　not　lost　our　Tails！＇

A　friend　of　mine　thinks　it　a　pity　that　we　have　lost　our　tails。　　He　
argues　it　would　be　so　helpful　if；　like　the　dog；　we　possessed　a　tail　
that　wagged　when　we　were　pleased；　that　stuck　out　straight　when　we　
were　feeling　mad。

〃Now；　do　come　and　see　us　again　soon；〃　says　our　hostess；　〃don't　wait　
to　be　asked。　　Drop　in　whenever　you　are　passing。〃

We　take　her　at　her　word。　　The　servant　who　answers　our　knocking　says　
she　〃will　see。〃　　There　is　a　scuffling　of　feet；　a　murmur　of　hushed　
voices；　a　swift　opening　and　closing　of　doors。　　We　are　shown　into　the　
drawing…room；　the　maid；　breathless　from　her　search；　one　supposes；　
having　discovered　that　her　mistress　IS　at　home。　　We　stand　upon　the　
hearthrug；　clinging　to　our　hat　and　stick　as　to　things　friendly　and　
sympathetic：　　the　suggestion　forcing　itself　upon　us　is　that　of　a　
visit　to　the　dentist。

Our　hostess　enters　wreathed　in　smiles。　　Is　she　really　pleased　to　see　
us；　or　is　she　saying　to　herself；　〃Drat　the　man！　　Why　must　he　choose　
the　very　morning　I　had　intended　to　fix　up　the　clean　curtains？〃

But　she　has　to　pretend　to　be　delighted；　and　ask　us　to　stay　to　lunch。　　
It　would　save　us　hours　of　anxiety　could　we　look　beyond　her　smiling　
face　to　her　tail　peeping　out　saucily　from　a　placket…hole。　　Is　it　
wagging；　or　is　it　standing　out　rigid　at　right　angles　from　her　skirt？

But　I　fear　by　this　time　we　should　have　taught　our　tails　polite　
behaviour。　　We　should　have　schooled　them　to　wag　enthusiastically　the　
while　we　were　growling　savagely　to　ourselves。　　Man　put　on　insincerity　
to　hide　his　mind　when　he　made　himself　a　garment　of　fig…leaves　to　hide　
his　body。

One　sometimes　wonders　whether　he　has　gained　so　very　much。　　A　small　
acquaintance　of　mine　is　being　brought　up　on　strange　principles。　　
Whether　his　parents　are　mad　or　not　is　a　matter　of　opinion。　　Their　
ideas　are　certainly　peculiar。　　They　encourage　him　rather　than　
otherwise　to　tell　the　truth　on　all　occasions。　　I　am　watching　the　
experiment　with　interest。　　If　you　ask　him　what　he　thinks　of　you；　he　
tells　you。　　Some　people　don't　ask　him　a　second　time。　　They　say：

〃What　a　very　rude　little　boy　you　are！〃

〃But　you　insisted　upon　it；〃　he　explains；　〃I　told　you　I'd　rather　not　
say。〃

It　does　not　comfort　them　in　the　least。　　Yet　the　result　is；　he　is　
already　an　influence。　　People　who　have　braved　the　ordeal；　and　emerged　
successfully；　go　about　with　swelled　head。

＇And　little　Boys　would　always　tell　the　Truth！＇

Politeness　would　seem　to　have　been　invented　for　the　comfort　of　the　
undeserving。　　We　let　fall　our　rain　of　compliments　upon　the　unjust　and　
the　just　without　distinction。　　Every　hostess　has　provided　us　with　the　
most　charming　evening　of　our　life。　　Every　guest　has　conferred　a　like　
blessing　upon　us　by　accepting　our　invitation。　　I　remember　a　dear　good　
lady　in　a　small　south　German　town　organizing　for　one　winter's　day　a　
sleighing　party　to　the　woods。　　A　sleighing　party　differs　from　a　
picnic。　　The　people　who　want　each　other　cannot　go　off　together　and　
lose　themselves；　leaving　the　bores　to　find　only　each　other。　　You　are　
in　close　company　from　early　morn　till　late　at　night。　　We　were　to　
drive　twenty　miles；　six　in　a　sledge；　dine　together　in　a　lonely　
Wirtschaft；　dance　and　sing　songs；　and　afterwards　drive　home　by　
moonlight。　　Success　depends　on　every　member　of　the　company　fitting　
into　his　place　and　assisting　in　the　general　harmony。　　Our　
chieftainess　was　fixing　the　final　arrangements　the　evening　before　in　
the　drawing…room　of　the　pension。　　One　place　was　still　to　spare。

〃Tompkins！〃

Two　voices　uttered　the　name　simultaneously；　three　others　immediately　
took　up　the　refrain。　　Tompkins　was　our