the angel and the author-第13节

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only　object　being　to　get　away；　though；　occasionallywhether　by　
design　or　accidentit　succeeds　in　inflicting　injury　upon　one　or　
other　of　its　executioners；　or　more　often　upon　one　of　the　spectators；　
striking　him　either　on　the　head　or　about　the　region　of　the　waist；　
which；　judging　by　results；　would　appear；　from　the　Ball's　point　of　
view；　to　be　the　better　selection。　　These　small　reddish　Balls　are　
quickened　into　life　evidently　by　the　heat　of　the　sun；　in　the　cold　
season　they　disappear；　and　their　place　is　taken　by　a　much　larger　
Ball。　　This　Ball　the　champions　kill　by　striking　it　with　their　feet　
and　with　their　heads。　　But　sometimes　they　will　attempt　to　suffocate　
it　by　falling　on　it；　some　dozen　of　them　at　a　time。

〃Another　of　these　seemingly　harmless　enemies　of　the　human　race　is　a　
small　white　Ball　of　great　cunning　and　resource。　　It　frequents　sandy　
districts　by　the　sea　coast　and　open　spaces　near　the　large　towns。　　It　
is　pursued　with　extraordinary　animosity　by　a　florid…faced　insect　of　
fierce　aspect　and　rotundity　of　figure。　　The　weapon　he　employs　is　a　
long　stick　loaded　with　metal。　　With　one　blow　he　will　send　the　
creature　through　the　air　sometimes　to　a　distance　of　nearly　a　quarter　
of　a　mile；　yet　so　vigorous　is　the　constitution　of　these　Balls　that　it　
will　fall　to　earth　apparently　but　little　damaged。　　It　is　followed　by　
the　rotund　man　accompanied　by　a　smaller　insect　carrying　spare　clubs。　　
Though　hampered　by　the　prominent　whiteness　of　its　skin；　the　extreme　
smallness　of　this　Ball　often　enables　it　to　defy　re…discovery；　and　at　
such　times　the　fury　of　the　little　round　man　is　terrible　to　
contemplate。　　He　dances　round　the　spot　where　the　ball　has　
disappeared；　making　frenzied　passes　at　the　surrounding　vegetation　
with　his　club；　uttering　the　while　the　most　savage　and　bloodcurdling　
growls。　　Occasionally　striking　at　the　small　creature　in　fury；　he　will　
miss　it　altogether；　and；　having　struck　merely　the　air；　will　sit　down　
heavily　upon　the　ground；　or；　striking　the　solid　earth；　will　shatter　
his　own　club。　　Then　a　curious　thing　takes　place：　　all　the　other　
insects　standing　round　place　their　right　hand　before　their　mouth；　
and；　turning　away　their　faces；　shake　their　bodies　to　and　fro；　
emitting　a　strange　crackling　sound。　　Whether　this　is　to　be　regarded　
as　a　mere　expression　of　their　grief　that　the　blow　of　their　comrade　
should　have　miscarried；　or　whether　one　may　assume　it　to　be　a　
ceremonious　appeal　to　their　gods　for　better　luck　next　time；　I　have　
not　as　yet　made　up　my　mind。　　The　striker；　meanwhile；　raises　both　
arms；　the　hands　tightly　clenched；　towards　the　heavens；　and　utters　
what　is　probably　a　prayer；　prepared　expressly　for　the　occasion。

＇The　Heir　of　all　Ages。　　His　Inheritance。＇

In　similar　manner　he；　the　Celestial　Observer；　proceeds　to　describe　
our　billiard　matches；　our　tennis　tournaments；　our　croquet　parties。　　
Maybe　it　never　occurs　to　him　that　a　large　section　of　our　race　
surrounded　by　Eternity；　would　devote　its　entire　span　of　life　to　sheer　
killing　of　time。　　A　middle…aged　friend　of　mine；　a　cultured　gentleman；　
a　M。A。　of　Cambridge；　assured　me　the　other　day　that；　notwithstanding　
all　his　experiences　of　life；　the　thing　that　still　gave　him　the　
greatest　satisfaction　was　the　accomplishment　of　a　successful　drive　to　
leg。　　Rather　a　quaint　commentary　on　our　civilization；　is　it　not？　　
〃The　singers　have　sung；　and　the　builders　have　builded。　　The　artists　
have　fashioned　their　dreams　of　delight。〃　　The　martyrs　for　thought　and　
freedom　have　died　their　death；　knowledge　has　sprung　from　the　bones　of　
ignorance；　civilization　for　ten　thousand　years　has　battled　with　
brutality　to　this　resultthat　a　specimen　gentleman　of　the　Twentieth　
Century；　the　heir　of　all　the　ages；　finds　his　greatest　joy　in　life　the　
striking　of　a　ball　with　a　chunk　of　wood！

Human　energy；　human　suffering；　has　been　wasted。　　Such　crown　of　
happiness　for　a　man　might　surely　have　been　obtained　earlier　and　at　
less　cost。　　Was　it　intended？　　Are　we　on　the　right　track？　　The　child's　
play　is　wiser。　　The　battered　doll　is　a　princess。　　Within　the　sand　
castle　dwells　an　ogre。　　It　is　with　imagination　that　he　plays。　　His　
games　have　some　relation　to　life。　　It　is　the　man　only　who　is　content　
with　this　everlasting　knocking　about　of　a　ball。　　The　majority　of　
mankind　is　doomed　to　labour　so　constant；　so　exhausting；　that　no　
opportunity　is　given　it　to　cultivate　its　brain。　　Civilization　has　
arranged　that　a　small　privileged　minority　shall　alone　enjoy　that　
leisure　necessary　to　the　development　of　thought。　　And　what　is　the　
answer　of　this　leisured　class？　　It　is：

〃We　will　do　nothing　for　the　world　that　feeds　us；　clothes　us；　keeps　us　
in　luxury。　　We　will　spend　our　whole　existence　knocking　balls　about；　
watching　other　people　knocking　balls　about；　arguing　with　one　another　
as　to　the　best　means　of　knocking　balls　about。〃

＇Is　it　〃Playing　the　Game？〃＇

Is　itto　use　their　own　jargon〃playing　the　game？〃

And　the　queer　thing　is　this　over…worked　world；　that　stints　itself　to　
keep　them　in　idleness；　approves　of　the　answer。　　〃The　flannelled　
fool；〃　〃The　muddied　oaf；〃　is　the　pet　of　the　people；　their　hero；　their　
ideal。

But　maybe　all　this　is　mere　jealousy。　　Myself；　I　have　never　been　
clever　at　knocking　balls　about。



CHAPTER　X



＇Patience　and　the　Waiter。＇

The　slowest　waiter　I　know　is　the　British　railway　refreshment…room　
waiter。

His　very　breathingregular；　harmonious；　penetrating；　instinct　as　it　
is　with　all　the　better　attributes　of　a　well…preserved　grandfather's　
clockconveys　suggestion　of　dignity　and　peace。　　He　is　a　huge；　
impressive　person。　　There　emanates　from　him　an　atmosphere　of　
Lotusland。　　The　otherwise　unattractive　refreshment…room　becomes　an　
oasis　of　repose　amid　the　turmoil　of　a　fretful　world。　　All　things　
conspire　to　aid　him：　　the　ancient　joints；　ranged　side　by　side　like　
corpses　in　a　morgue；　each　one　decently　hidden　under　its　white　muslin　
shroud；　whispering　of　death　and　decay；　the　dish　of　dead　flies；　
thoughtfully　placed　in　the　centre　of　the　table；　the　framed　
advertisements　extolling　the　virtues　of　heavy　beers　and　stouts；　of　
weird　champagnes；　emanating　from　haunted…looking　chateaux；　situate
if　one　may　judge　from　the　illustrationin　the　midst　of　desert　lands；　
the　sleep…inviting　buzz　of　the　bluebottles。

The　spirit　of　the　place　steals　over　you。　　On　entering；　with　a　quarter　
of　an　hour　to　spare；　your　idea　was　a　cutlet　and　a　glass　of　claret。　　
In　the　face　of　the　refreshment…room　waiter；　the　notion　appears　
frivolous；　not　to　say　un…English。　　You　order　cold　beef　and　pickles；　
with　a　pint　of　bitter　in　a　tankard。　　To　win　the　British　waiter's　
approval；　you　must　always　order　beer　in　a　tankard。　　The　British　
waiter；　in　his　ideals；　is　mediaeval。　　There　is　a　Shakespearean　touch　
about　a　tankard。　　A　soapy　potato　will；　of　course；　be　added。　　
Afterwards　a　ton　of　cheese　and　a　basin　of　rabbit's　food　floating　in　
water　（the　British　salad）　will　be　placed　before　you。　　You　will　work　
steadily　through　the　whole；　anticipating　the　somnolence　that　will　
subsequently　fall　upon　you　with　a　certain　amount　of　satisfaction。　　It　
will　serve　to　dispel　the　last　lingering　regret　at　the　reflection　that　
you　will　miss　your　appointment；　and　suffer　thereby　serious　
inconvenience　if　not　positive　loss。　　These　things　are　of　the　world
the　noisy；　tiresome　world　you　have　left　without。

To　the　English　traveller；　the　foreign　waiter　in　the　earlier　stages　of　
his　career　is　a　burden　and　a　trial。　　When　he　is　completewhen　he　
really　can　talk　English　I　rejoice　in　him。　　When　I　object　to　him　is　
when　his　English　is　worse　than　my　French　or　German；　and　when　he　will；　
for　his　own　educational　purposes；　insist；　nevertheless；　that　the　
conversation　shall　be　entirely　in　English。　　I　would　he　came　to　me　
some　other　time。　　I　would　so　much　rather　make　it　after　dinner　or；　
say；　the　next　morning。　　I　hate　giving　lessons　during　meal　times。

Besides；　to　a　man　with　feeble　digestion；　this　sort　of　thing　can　lead　
to　trouble。　　One　waiter　I　met　at　an　hotel　in　Dijon　knew　very　little　
Englishabout　as　much　as　a　poll　parrot。　　The　moment　I　entered　the　
salle…a…manger　he　started　to　his　feet。

〃Ah！　　You　English！〃　he　cried。

〃Well；　what　about　us？〃　I　answered。　　It　was　during　the　period　of　the　
Boer　War。　　I　took　it　he　was　about　to　denounce　the　English　nation　
generally。　　I　was　looking　for　something　to　throw　at　him。

〃You　Englishyou　Englishman；　yes；〃　he　repeated。

And　then　I　understood　he　had　merely　intended　a　question。　　I　owned　up　
that　I　was；　and　accused　him　in　turn　of　being　a　Frenchman。　　He　
admitted　it。　　Introductions；　as　it　were；　thus　over；　I　thought　I　would　
order　dinner。　　I　ordered　it　in　French。　　I　am　not　bragging　of　my　
French；　I　never　wanted　to　learn　French。　　Even　as　a　boy；　it　was　more　
the　idea　of　others　than　of　myself。　　I　learnt　as　little　as　possible。　　
But　I　have　learnt　enough　to　live　in　places　where　they　can't；　or　
won't；　speak　anything　else。　　Left　to　myself；　I　could　have　enjoyed　a　
very　satisfactory　dinner。　　I　was　tired　with　a　long　day's　journey；　and　
hungry。　　They　cook　well　at　this　hotel。　　I　had　been　looking　forward　to　
my　dinner　for　hours　and　hours。　　I　had　sat　down　in　my　imagination　to　a　
consomme　bisque；　sole　au　gratin；　a　pou